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[Parallax Scroll]

You need a destination; a higher purpose for yourself. Neediness vaporizes in the face of this.

I'm beginning to realize this. I've pretty much never had any real goal or purpose in life. I believe my greatest talents are intelligence, creativity, and humor, and I'm realizing that, like the INTP description says, I enjoy learning about the world. I'm doing a lot of reading now to better educate myself on subjects I'm interested in, and I'm planning to start doing more creative stuff. I've never really specialized in any one creative endeavor, and I kind of like it that way. In the past I've written stories, epic poetry, songs, and comic books. I've done improv, acted in plays, and made videogames. I used to play the piano as well. I stopped doing most of that stuff years ago, but not long ago I had fun making perler bead pixel art to decorate my place. I'm gonna try and do more of, well, all of that.

So I guess my vague purpose for now is to gain knowledge and do cool stuff with it.

 

[whitehawk]

This thread is really sad

I can't really relate very much, but I did have some severe anxiety in early 2009, which i believe is related to depression. I had days where I would just cry for hours. Oh, and all this was brought on because I tried Salvia and was worried I did permanent damage (I didn't). I had moments where the anxiety was so powerful my physical state felt different. Ridiculous amounts of chemicals were making me feel physically different. Luckily I went to a psychologist and she really helped a lot. We just talked, but boy, it's amazing how much just letting everything out can help. Around when summertime came I was pretty much anxiety free. I didn't have OCD thoughts about the drug, and I could drink alcohol without feeling worse.

That brings me to another point. DO NOT drink alcohol or do drugs. I remember I smoked some weed a couple weeks after I did the salvia. I took one hit. one hit, and the whole night was ruined. I kept running negative thoughts through my mind for whatever reason, and the weed is what brought it on. This happened a second time a few weeks later. It was then that I just said no to any drugs. I was sober for many months. It is a little tough, but very worth it.

Also, if you are not happy with your situation in life, do something about it. 2 1/2 years ago I wasn't happy, so I switched schools halfway through the year. I had to meet new friends, take up some arts (music) and now I'm happier than ever. I recently sang in front of my whole school, and it was great. My 2007/2008 self would have never done something like that. I had this "I can not" mentality. Looking back, I could have stayed at that school refuse to take action, but man. I am glad I took initiative.

I'm starting to ramble now, so I'm just going to finish off with a bold.

Depression/anxiety sucks. Do everything in your power (professional help, talking to friends, avoiding drugs) to make yourself better. I was lucky enough to rid my anxiety in about 6-8 months, but just.. Don't give up. If your depression has something to do with the way your life has shaped up, do something about it. You CAN change your life, don't let anything make you think otherwise.

Alright, i don't even know where this went, but I've already typed it so i might as well post it.

 

[Meesh]

I can say meds didn't work for me. There were a couple of false dawns but in the end I sacked them off, had a good 3 months of feeling pretty good before going back to the norm and the goddamn fucking insomnia.

I'm preety sure now that the depression is a result of the insomnia rather than vice versa as the doctor thought. Got to get my arse in gear to go back to the doc's soon but tbh I'm pretty fucked off with her chucking whatever ad's at me and seeing what shit sticks.

Insomnia...my brother has a problem with this, fortunately I was thrown clear of the wreck...seriously. He was in a car accident and hasn't been the same since. Myself, I don't think I could bare not sleeping, though it's a miracle people can get by with what little they have. I suppose a person can condition themselves when undergoing all kinds of physical/mental adversity...the mental exercises I was given, help with that...It's a matter of sticking to it though.

I can say meds didn't work for me.

Just had to highlite that part again. Reading this sentence and watching your avatar freaks the hell outta me! lol

like I said on the previous page my goals make living much easier. I highly suggest you come up with a list of things you want to do in your life, career or otherwise, and divulge.

I like this idea, I can see how this would benefit

 

[MiniKelly]

There are free medical help from the government for ppl like you. My friend in a similar situation as you is going back to college for free.

 

[kid ness]

If you don't think you know what yours is, then you need look inside yourself: What do you enjoy doing? What is it you want out of life? What are your dreams? You can't just let dreams sit there like shapeless clouds off in the the fringes of your mind. Turn your focus onto them, and give them a real form you can actually work with. Then make yourself really, really want it bad - make it one of your life’s purposes. Learn time management skills, put pen to paper and map out your tentative path, and then most importantly; set out on that path. Actually DOING something that could lead you to your destination, and feeling that sense of control - let me tell you - feels fucking amazing.

I hope things turn around for you soon. Just remember: those people are dead wrong about you, not to mention that it doesn‘t matter what they think. Get out there and live, man.

Beautifully said.

 

[Ovid]

What meds are you guys taking?

 

[Dizzle24]

Long post ahead!

Reading through this thread a bit; interesting to see some of the different affects that Depression and Anxiety have on different people.

I have never been officially diagnosed as having Depression, but from being a Behavioral Science/Psych major in College, I know that I am. Now, this mental state didn't come to be until a few years back, but I can't recall any certain events that would have triggered it.

I am daily a Miserable person. I am angry at everything, am easily frustrated to the point where I try to explain something to someone and my mind races so fucking fast that I just stop what I am saying in a fit of rage because I either can't get out what I am saying fast enough, or think that I am wasting my words because the other person won't understand what I'm saying.

Nothing is fun anymore. I am the biggest video game junkie; it's my ONLY hobby (don't watch/play sports, etc) and even that at my disposal is becoming "meh"

I was laid off from my job on this past Christmas, which was "icing on the cake" and have been jobless since.

I have no health insurance, so I can't see a doctor to see if there is some meds that I could take to help with Anxiety, which mixed with Depression, is getting worse every day.
This frustrates me even further, because I really don't have any methods to calm down naturally, but am looking into taking certain vitamins like Folic Acid, B12, etc.

So, basically, if I cannot find ways to deal with my Axiety and Depression combination soon, I will probably go batshit insane.

Being jobless, stuck living with mom at age 29 (30 next month) with the addition of Winter depression, I am lost as what I can do to help myself. I tried the whole "gym thing" but the place is alway so fucking packed that I usually become frustrated and leave after 30 minutes because I can't use most of the equipment I want to.

Well, thanks for reading, and good luck to my fellow Anxious/Depressed friends.

 

[fragilebroken]

I couldn't decide who to quote about what after 5 pages; I'm with the people who say meds work in the right circumstances, but they don't just make everything hunky-dory. Therapy alone can help some, but for some people the therapy is impossible without the meds. It takes effort to get life going in the direction you want it, though, with or without professional help.

For what it's worth, I was diagnosed bipolar at 19, after years of tolerable symptoms and one year of pure chaos. I'm 25 and I've been on about 15-20 different meds in some combination or another since second semester of my freshman year of college. For some of that time I felt what I can only assume was "normal". For much more of it my psychiatrist was guinea pigging me to see what worked best with what. It's not because he's bad at his job; that, unfortunately, just happens to be the process because everyone reacts differently to psych meds. (some sedatives make me anxious, for instance) As much as I hate the concept of being eternally medicated I also fear I'm about a month's worth of those pills away from becoming the crazy hobo on the corner.

Props if you bothered reading my rambling n00b post.

 

[UnblessedSoul]

Mmm I had depression for a year and being isolated from society made it 100 times worse, granted I become physically and emotionally drained I eventually did something with my life and it went away didn't talk to anyone about it or take medicines etc, but I suggest you talk to someone about it, it was like some kind of dark evil thing loomed above me and eliminated any happy feelings and would not go away I hope to god I never have to experience that again

TLDR: Talk to someone get HELP otherwise you are screwed

 

[PumpkinPie]

Well I have no friends, have not been out of the house aside from going to work for the past 8 years etc... I first went to see a doctor about 1.5 years ago, I was ignored and told they did not have time for this kind of thing. I went back last week and basically the same thing happened, they said 'just look on the internet for a support group or something'. They made me do a questionnaire which asked if I had felt suicidal within the last two weeks, I said I had felt like that but not in the last two weeks as I have up and down cycles, obviously I picked the wrong answer.

Seems like the doctors think that if you're a young person then you only have small, insignificant problems. Here's some advice: if you're under 30 and are depressed, don't bother seeking help.

 

[fragilebroken]

Seems like the doctors think that if you're a young person then you only have small, insignificant problems. Here's some advice: if you're under 30 and are depressed, don't bother seeking help.

Dude, you need a new doctor. That guy doesn't know shit. GPs are no good for mental issues.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Dude, you need a new doctor. That guy doesn't know shit. GPs are no good for mental issues.

It was two separate doctors I saw, the second one was recommended to me because she was apparently more sensitive than the first guy. After I spoke to him about it (the first time I went) I was not sleeping at all, working 9 hours a day and going without sleep and I eventually ended up in hospital for 8 days with exhaustion and severe sinusitis (which I believe was caused by all of this).

 

[Futureman]

Sorry to bump this but I keep waking up in the middle of a panic attack

Happened twice so far tonight. I broke my glasses the first time. Scared to go back to sleep again.

 

[bone idle]

Sorry to bump this but I keep waking up in the middle of a panic attack

Happened twice so far tonight. I broke my glasses the first time. Scared to go back to sleep again.

Here's what I do. Get up and start the day. Light breakfast, no caffeine. Radio/tv on. Maybe some household chores or study/drawing until sun rise. Then, if I don't have work to go to, I go for an long walk (sometimes with spoken word radio on headphones). Over the next few days I continue with caffeine abstention and long walks. The cause of the anxiety/panic usually becomes clear and manageable within a few days. Before I developed this, the attacks would recur for weeks/months.

 

[Kuraudo]

Where's the best place to start going for help?

I've always gone through dark periods where I'm in total despair over my future and I've been in a really deep one this past few weeks. My current job's coming to an end in six weeks and I've nothing lined up after it and there's no way for them to extend it (some crap EU law) and no permanent positions coming up. It took me two years after I got my degree to find full time work and I thought once I had it that was it, I'd be able to get a permanent one and my life would be great. Now it's coming to an end and it feels like my shot at life is over. I'm convinced I wasted my time getting a useless degree and now I'm too old and too underexperienced for any of the few jobs out there and my whole life from now on will be on the dole.

I'm living with my parents, so I managed to squirrel away most of the money I've earned since starting work, so it's not like I need the money right now. It just feel like I need a job to be a proper human being and to guarantee myself a future.

My self-esteem is rock bottom and I have to build myself up just to go buy something in a store right now, so I can't see myself performing well in interviews or anything that would help me find more employment. It's hard to find the motivation to look for work or fill in applications too.

Anyway, I've been having really suicidal thoughts lately. They seem to come worst on tuesdays for whatever reason. I wouldn't kill myself (I couldn't put my parents through that and I'd be scared about the impression it would leave on my sister's kids [who basically see me as a role model]) and I don't want to die, but at times it feels like I don't deserve to live. My death has been playing on my mind a lot and I keep rubbing my wrists or thinking about how weak my body is. Everytime I think about it, it nearly brings me to tears.

I keep thinking about running away too, just clearing out my bank account and making a go of it somewhere else, but there's something about that that feels like I'd be going away to die.

I know I need some sort of help to make my life better, but I'm really not sure where to go. I know my friends and family would be there for me if I told them, but I hate the idea of burdening them with this more than anything.

 

[Futureman]

Here's what I do. Get up and start the day. Light breakfast, no caffeine. Radio/tv on. Maybe some household chores or study/drawing until sun rise. Then, if I don't have work to go to, I go for an long walk (sometimes with spoken word radio on headphones). Over the next few days I continue with caffeine abstention and long walks. The cause of the anxiety/panic usually becomes clear and manageable within a few days. Before I developed this, the attacks would recur for weeks/months.

It's weird. This hasn't happened to me for about 3 years. And then BAM! It's back out of nowhere.

I don't know if this is weird but I never have normal panic attacks. It's always this "waking up into it" thing. I don't even know if panic attack is the right term... Maybe temporary psychosis or something. I have this terrible feeling of dread that my mind is about to snap and I'll never be normal again. I feel extremely disconnected. I REALLY would be interested in seeing what would happen if I encountered someone while in this state as I think the isolation and solitude of nighttime is what brings this on.

 

[Tashi]

Hang in there guys. I know how it is :/

 

[jax (old)]

Suicide is a cop out.

you are weak and pathetic if you think killing yourself solves anything. It doesn't. The only thing it does is prevent you from living your life to its full potential.

go see someone. call a hotline. see a doctor.

do some charity work. see how worse off people are compared to you. You have a pc, you've have internet. A lot of people are worse off. No money. no health. No family. No shelter.

 

[MidgarBlowedUp]

I always had anger issues, my depression and pain just fueled anger and hate. I take a very light daily dose of anxiety medication now, only 1/3 the normal dose. I plan on eventually going off of it and just taking St Johns Wart to try and balance my serotonin levels.

Outside of drugs, the one thing I learned is that there are two of you, there's the person on the outside, the physical & emotional you, that has the ability to control his fate physically and usually conforms to emotions, and then there's is the person on the inside, the mental and soulful part of you who has no real immediate physical control. The person on the inside is has no choice but to go along with every decision made by the person on the outside. If you want to get better stop treating the person on the inside like trash. Talk to him every once in a while, tell him you love him, tell him your sorry for neglecting him and, listen to what he has to say.

The above worked wonders for me and, I'm still not entirely sure why looking at my life in that way helped so much. I suppose it was the fact that I had a hard time separating my emotions from my rationality, or maybe I just realized I'm the most important person to myself. Without me I'm nothing.


Good luck you any of you with depression.

 

[bone idle]

It's weird. This hasn't happened to me for about 3 years. And then BAM! It's back out of nowhere.

I don't know if this is weird but I never have normal panic attacks. It's always this "waking up into it" thing. I don't even know if panic attack is the right term... Maybe temporary psychosis or something. I have this terrible feeling of dread that my mind is about to snap and I'll never be normal again. I feel extremely disconnected. I REALLY would be interested in seeing what would happen if I encountered someone while in this state as I think the isolation and solitude of nighttime is what brings this on.

I've had both types. Night terror for me is usually accompanied by auditory hallucinations and odd time-disconnections. That's why I try to do fairly mundane/routine things. Anything that relaxes helps. A good firm hug too, if that's an option. I even contemplated building a hug machine.

(PS. were you sleeping with your glasses on?)

 

[Jake.]

i'm 23, am a first year psych student and we have actually been studying depression/anxiety recently. i feel incredibly awkward sitting in class listening to everything because i have gone through and experienced so much of it. i have also been seeing a psychologist once a fortnight/month (it varies) for the last 9 months or so. what made me originally start going was for a different issue altogether but i'm sure the depression was linked to it.

this will be a bit tough to type but since everyone else has shared...

i have suffered from depression since i was 16 or so. ever since then, i have had suicidal thoughts regulary although they are obviously alot more common during 'darker' times than good. when i was 17 i had basically made the decision to go outside in our backyard and hang myself. on the day i was going to do it, a friend at the time started talking to me on msn and made me realise how great life really can be. it really opened my eyes and although i'm not friends with that person anymore i really owe them alot. i'm an only child and had an incredibly lonely childhood (my parents worked alot and my mother has/had various health problems) but during my final years of high school i was actually quite popular and had great friends. since then i have a much smaller circle (mainly because i don't drink and don't like bars/clubs) but i've put myself in that situation so i can't blame anyone else.

last year was honestly the best year of my life in alot of respects and i was actually loving life (probably the first time i have), but in the past few month things have really fallen apart and i am trying desperately to pick up the pieces. my great grandmother died about two months ago, my now ex-girlfriend dumped me a month ago (i have been in relationships before but this one hit me like a truck and i am not coping well at all) and i am going bad with university even though i have only been there for three months. the girlfriend leaving was a real kicker and i am worried that i am going to get worse until the point of no return.

i live with my parents and they know i am falling apart, they hear me cry in my room but i try and keep it from them because my mum just gets upset. its pretty pathetic on my part. i really don't want to go on medication, not because of any religious reasons or anything like that but i just don't like taking any form of meds. i really do not want to get any worse though so i'm sure i will end up going on them. i have been on medication for anxiety in the past although it was only for 2-3 months.

as everyone else said, you're not alone. i try and remember that and to think positive but it is incredibly hard i know. i feel like a complete and utter failure in most regards but i remember there are alot of people much worse off than i with a smile on their face.

i would highly suggest going to see a psychologist because for me, anyway, it helped talking about my emotions, what i am going through and getting it off my chest. also because he's a stranger i feel i can tell him anything and i don't feel embarassed/worthless/etc.

i really wish depression was touched upon more in the senior years of high school, but sadly it is ignored entirely (in australia anyway).

 

[Zaphod]

Suicide is a cop out.

you are weak and pathetic if you think killing yourself solves anything. It doesn't. The only thing it does is prevent you from living your life to its full potential.

go see someone. call a hotline. see a doctor.

do some charity work. see how worse off people are compared to you. You have a pc, you've have internet. A lot of people are worse off. No money. no health. No family. No shelter.

I know you mean well but this kind of tone does not always work well on the depressed. I knew a really good guy who received very similar advice and he took the weak and pathetic part to heart and promptly went out and killed himself.

 

[Futureman]

(PS. were you sleeping with your glasses on?)

No, I actually put them on I guess when I got up, and then ended up twisting them and snapping them in the middle of the panic attack or whatever it was.

I feel pretty okay now. I managed to fall asleep fine after the second time. I'm on 10mg of Lexapro for anxiety/depression.

 

[KevinCow]

I know you mean well but this kind of tone does not always work well on the depressed. I knew a really good guy who received very similar advice and he took the weak and pathetic part to heart and promptly went out and killed himself.

People who give that kind of "advice" don't remotely understand what depression is. It's not a rational thing. You can't just say, "Other people have it worse than you, so you should be happy, BE HAPPY DAMMIT." It doesn't work like that.

Also gotta love the thought process behind telling people who are already depressed enough to consider suicide that they're weak and pathetic. Yeah, that's gonna work!

 

[JTran2003]

It's weird. This hasn't happened to me for about 3 years. And then BAM! It's back out of nowhere.

I don't know if this is weird but I never have normal panic attacks. It's always this "waking up into it" thing. I don't even know if panic attack is the right term... Maybe temporary psychosis or something. I have this terrible feeling of dread that my mind is about to snap and I'll never be normal again. I feel extremely disconnected. I REALLY would be interested in seeing what would happen if I encountered someone while in this state as I think the isolation and solitude of nighttime is what brings this on.

You might want to try seeking help but it doesnt have to be professional, someone that you are close too will help as well. I just recently had my first panic attacks and it got to the point where i couldnt sleep and was too afraid to go back to sleep which caused me to be very sleep deprived and tired but never sleeping for the fear of it coming back again. I didnt really talk about it to anyone though... What helped me was watching my favorite tv show to give me some laughs to try and forget what is going on. Of course, forgeting is never the answer, but it helped me to relax, calm down, and feel in a state where i felt "normal". That was when i was finally able to think rationally and figure out what was bothering me. The panic attacks are usually from some form of stress and once you are able to figure out what is the main cause of your stress, it will be the start of moving forward. At least, thats whats working for me right now, still stressed and a little depressed but very rare panic attacks if there ever is one and the belief and hope that i can get out of this and be happy some day...

 

[JTran2003]

Where's the best place to start going for help?

I've always gone through dark periods where I'm in total despair over my future and I've been in a really deep one this past few weeks. My current job's coming to an end in six weeks and I've nothing lined up after it and there's no way for them to extend it (some crap EU law) and no permanent positions coming up. It took me two years after I got my degree to find full time work and I thought once I had it that was it, I'd be able to get a permanent one and my life would be great. Now it's coming to an end and it feels like my shot at life is over. I'm convinced I wasted my time getting a useless degree and now I'm too old and too underexperienced for any of the few jobs out there and my whole life from now on will be on the dole.

I'm living with my parents, so I managed to squirrel away most of the money I've earned since starting work, so it's not like I need the money right now. It just feel like I need a job to be a proper human being and to guarantee myself a future.

My self-esteem is rock bottom and I have to build myself up just to go buy something in a store right now, so I can't see myself performing well in interviews or anything that would help me find more employment. It's hard to find the motivation to look for work or fill in applications too.

Anyway, I've been having really suicidal thoughts lately. They seem to come worst on tuesdays for whatever reason. I wouldn't kill myself (I couldn't put my parents through that and I'd be scared about the impression it would leave on my sister's kids [who basically see me as a role model]) and I don't want to die, but at times it feels like I don't deserve to live. My death has been playing on my mind a lot and I keep rubbing my wrists or thinking about how weak my body is. Everytime I think about it, it nearly brings me to tears.

I keep thinking about running away too, just clearing out my bank account and making a go of it somewhere else, but there's something about that that feels like I'd be going away to die.

I know I need some sort of help to make my life better, but I'm really not sure where to go. I know my friends and family would be there for me if I told them, but I hate the idea of burdening them with this more than anything.

I lost my job at the end of 2008 and still have not been able to get a job. I dont have much experience in anything and at the age of 25, still attending school with a very long time left to go. I dont think i deserve to live and I truly believe i should not be happy because things continue to pile up to make me feel this is fact. I think the hardest thing i ever had to do was accept help from my family after i lost my job. I tried very hard to be independent and not rely on them because they have done so much for me that i dont want to be a burden. but after a year and a half of job searching with no luck, it has been tough...

For me, the first place for help i went to was myself. changing my way of thinking was difficult because i dont like talking about my problems to anyone, even the people i am close with. but i realized i had to let that side go if i really wanted to get better. so i started talking to my family. now i cant talk to all of them because some of them get angry and me and tell me i shouldnt think like that or whatever, but there are a few members that i can talk to that i actually feel help me. its to the point that i am ok with telling anyone about my problems because, they are just not as big anymore... something i can laugh at at times. for me, religion also helped me alot. I still feel that because god wants me here for whatever reason because god has always been by my side so i cannot betray him by taking my life and giving up.

I guess what im trying to say is, its up to you where you want the help from but as long as you realize you need help, that is a great start. but its different for each person, so you need to figure out what will be best for you. you can always PM me or any other gaf member i am sure if you just want to talk. hope this helped...

 

[Suitcase Test]

Hello, dear depression thread!

Ugh. I just had a whole weekend with NOTHING to do besides feeling lonely (despite being surrounded by my family) and being completely bored. Plenty of work to do for my study, but I keep procrastinating (<3 procrastinating).

Worst part is that I really don't have any reason to complain. My family is awesome and supportive, I've got two jobs (one of which is pretty awesome) and plenty of money for a university student, and I'm not ill in any way at the moment. Hell, I'm not even fat nor do I need glasses. Fucking great. Sigh.

What I have is nowhere near as bad as some of the other people in this thread, which makes me feel like I shouldn't complain. I genuinely feel sorry for some of you who have it way worse, and wish you all the best.

Now I'm sitting at home, doing nothing, waiting for something to happen and take my boredom away. Also started to feel angry for no apparant reason at all and being tired because of way too little sleep.

 

[Gaaraz]

I don't get it. I have so much good in my life right now (moving into my new 4 bed in a couple of weeks, have an amazing girlfriend, good job, lots of good friends) and always keep busy (full time job plus two things I do on the side, often playing football, going out with friends, seeing my gf) yet I just feel utterly fucked, I have no idea why.

Constantly having negative thoughts about things to a worrying degree when I have absolutely nothing to be slightly upset about, can never get motivated to do things even if I enjoy them... I eat healthily, try to do exercise whenever possible (maybe 2/3 times a week) but I'm just like... fuck!

Is there anything I can do short of go to a doctors and take some pills? :/

 

[glaurung]

I don't get it. I have so much good in my life right now (moving into my new 4 bed in a couple of weeks, have an amazing girlfriend, good job, lots of good friends) and always keep busy (full time job plus two things I do on the side, often playing football, going out with friends, seeing my gf) yet I just feel utterly fucked, I have no idea why.

Constantly having negative thoughts about things to a worrying degree when I have absolutely nothing to be slightly upset about, can never get motivated to do things even if I enjoy them... I eat healthily, try to do exercise whenever possible (maybe 2/3 times a week) but I'm just like... fuck!

Is there anything I can do short of go to a doctors and take some pills? :/

Start drinking heavily, drop the sport stuff. Pick up WoW. Break up with your girlfriend. Insult and hurt your friends. Eat junk.

In a couple on months, you'll think back and realize how good your life was.

 

[Gaaraz]

Hehe, sounds like a plan!

Hmm reading back that post makes me sound a bit of a dick - I didn't mean it in a 'my life is good' kinda way, just more in a... everything people normally associate with depression I have in check, so I have no idea why I feel like this or what to do about it.

(edit) I've started to really go off stuff I used to love too. Months without playing video games, slowly losing interest in football, going out seems an effort, not watched a movie for months etc etc

 

[YakiSOBA]

How do you approach a loved one who has undergone/still going through sporadic moments of depression (much like what has been mentioned in this thread), used to cut but barely does any more (only sometimes), and sometimes can't sleep because all they do is think about really insane deep philosophical thoughts about the world and life, and it really *literally* fries their brain, fully exhausts it to the point where they can't sleep.

Then the cycle repeats... they get better, they get happy, balanced, and then the crash comes again.

edit: not so much approach, but rather talk and listen to in a positive way? I feel that I'm a person this individual has chosen to trust with this information, but I don't want to fuck up.

 

[glaurung]

Hehe, sounds like a plan!

Hmm reading back that post makes me sound a bit of a dick - I didn't mean it in a 'my life is good' kinda way, just more in a... everything people normally associate with depression I have in check, so I have no idea why I feel like this or what to do about it.

(edit) I've started to really go off stuff I used to love too. Months without playing video games, slowly losing interest in football, going out seems an effort, not watched a movie for months etc etc

Even with this little information it seems like you're stuck in a rut of some sort, unable to get out.

The easiest advice anyone can give you is to change your habits. Picking up new hobbies is one way to go, trying something new and exciting is another. However, if that yields no tangible result, it is time to approach a professional.

And as soon as you find yourself within a situation, where you cannot get up in the morning, because you really do not want to go out the house, do the same thing: contact a professional. Counselling helps some people, medication helps others.

 

[Gaaraz]

Thanks, I'd say within reason I have changed my habits quite a bit, things I'd previously be quite anxious about I'm now doing, and generally I am going out more, trying different things and whatever else. Maybe when I move into my own place it'll get better, but honestly I'm wondering if actually it'll become a lot worse. I live with my parents at present and they go away a lot, this'll sound pathetic but being in an empty house is actually kinda lonely, so I have that to look forward to soon as well...

 

[Liu Kang Baking A Pie]

Hehe, sounds like a plan!

Hmm reading back that post makes me sound a bit of a dick - I didn't mean it in a 'my life is good' kinda way, just more in a... everything people normally associate with depression I have in check, so I have no idea why I feel like this or what to do about it.

(edit) I've started to really go off stuff I used to love too. Months without playing video games, slowly losing interest in football, going out seems an effort, not watched a movie for months etc etc

I repeat this a lot on GAF, because assholes like Jax don't get it:

Suffering from depression isn't the same thing as being depressed.

Just like you, every really suffering depressed person I've known are great people with tons of friends and are really outgoing, but something in them just won't let them operate correctly. It's frustrating as hell that this problem gets confused as being the same thing that angsty teenagers write poetry about. It's a true disease of the brain. You're unable to think clearly and reasonably respond to your life's situation because your brain just can't do it. It's the same as any other mental impairment.

You'll have to see a doctor and get some sort of treatment that can help stabilize you if you really think there is something wrong with you.

 

[J Tourettes]

I repeat this a lot on GAF, because assholes like Jax don't get it:

Suffering from depression isn't the same thing as being depressed.

Just like you, every really suffering depressed person I've known are great people with tons of friends and are really outgoing, but something in them just won't let them operate correctly. It's frustrating as hell that this problem gets confused as being the same thing that angsty teenagers write poetry about. It's a true disease of the brain. You're unable to think clearly and reasonably respond to your life's situation because your brain just can't do it. It's the same as any other mental impairment.

You'll have to see a doctor and get some sort of treatment that can help stabilize you if you really think there is something wrong with you.

Can't be said enough although people will remain ignorant.

 

[MadFerIt]

Suicide is a cop out.

you are weak and pathetic if you think killing yourself solves anything. It doesn't. The only thing it does is prevent you from living your life to its full potential.

go see someone. call a hotline. see a doctor.

do some charity work. see how worse off people are compared to you. You have a pc, you've have internet. A lot of people are worse off. No money. no health. No family. No shelter.

Holy crap you are a douchebag.

 

[YakiSOBA]

Suicide is a cop out.

you are weak and pathetic if you think killing yourself solves anything. It doesn't. The only thing it does is prevent you from living your life to its full potential.

go see someone. call a hotline. see a doctor.

do some charity work. see how worse off people are compared to you. You have a pc, you've have internet. A lot of people are worse off. No money. no health. No family. No shelter.

This guy... definitely doesn't get it.

 

[TL4E]

I don't get it. I have so much good in my life right now (moving into my new 4 bed in a couple of weeks, have an amazing girlfriend, good job, lots of good friends) and always keep busy (full time job plus two things I do on the side, often playing football, going out with friends, seeing my gf) yet I just feel utterly fucked, I have no idea why.

Constantly having negative thoughts about things to a worrying degree when I have absolutely nothing to be slightly upset about, can never get motivated to do things even if I enjoy them... I eat healthily, try to do exercise whenever possible (maybe 2/3 times a week) but I'm just like... fuck!

Is there anything I can do short of go to a doctors and take some pills? :/

Proves yet again that depressive illness is heavily dependent on genetic makeup. I recommend you go see a doc.

 

[way more]

I don't get it. I have so much good in my life right now (moving into my new 4 bed in a couple of weeks, have an amazing girlfriend, good job, lots of good friends) and always keep busy (full time job plus two things I do on the side, often playing football, going out with friends, seeing my gf) yet I just feel utterly fucked, I have no idea why.

Is there anything I can do short of go to a doctors and take some pills? :/

You make that sound like it's a huge step to take. And it's not just go to the doctor and take some pills. It's go to the doctor and maybe get some blood work done to see if you have mono or some other lethargy inducing disease. Then maybe he suggests exercise, light therapy or maybe he diagnoses you with some glaring mental disorder you are blind to. There is a hundred ways it can go once you visit a doctor and even if it comes to medication this isn't the 60's. Medication is made to assist you in life not control you.

 

[RetroGreg]

Go see a professional and talk about it. You may need medication. Don't look at it as if it's a bad thing. Depression can just be from a chemical imbalance the meds will fix just like a diabetic person needing insulin.

 

[Enco]

Suicide is a cop out.

you are weak and pathetic if you think killing yourself solves anything. It doesn't. The only thing it does is prevent you from living your life to its full potential.

go see someone. call a hotline. see a doctor.

do some charity work. see how worse off people are compared to you. You have a pc, you've have internet. A lot of people are worse off. No money. no health. No family. No shelter.

Someone doesn't understand the cases of depression.

The bolded bit is the only part of your post that isn't complete bs.

 

[White Man]

After 2 hospital stays and a couple encounters with police during the course of this year, my head issues have been upgraded. One of my newer drugs works incredibly well for depression, but the side effects I'm getting are -really- problematic, and I'm not so sure if the benefit outweighs the problems. A few amusing problems:

1) Extremely vivid dreams. And they're not random--it's like the dreams are synced to your worst fears and anxieties, and you can't wake yourself up like you can in normal nightmares. This might tie in with. . .

2) Halucinations (usually when either going to sleep or waking up in the morninc). Lots of moving shadows in the periphery. There have been shadows that I could swear are moving down the hallway towards me, like someone else is in my apartment. When it is dark, but not totally), I start seeing faces on things, maybe like someone is in my apartment waiting for me to go to sleep so they could rape me. I get suckered by these all the time--when you are -really- halucinating, you lose that sense of what's real. You won't even question whether what you are seeing. One night during an especially bad episode, I woke up on my bathroom floor and saw that I had destroyed about half of my apartment. I was "sane" when I woke up, but it took me hours to convince myself that whatever happened last night wasn't real.

3) Cognitive issues. When I woke up on that floor, I didn't even remember what caused me to do such a thing or even doing it in the first place. A ton of times I've woken up, ran outside to drive to work, and discovered that it was like 3-4AM and I didn't even realize it was still dark when I ran outside. I do it on Saturdays, too. I also remember having conversations with people or doing something with them. These aren't really halucinations since I never experienced the event, whether true or false, I just -remember- doing it.

4) Seizures. While the drugs soften them and make them less scary, I have them (I think) more often. Lots of bruises and random aches.

Eh, truth be told, most of these have mostly disappeared. They were far worse when the docs were upping my doses every week. I think most of these side effects are just a reaction to not having stable doses at the time. I still get the cognitive issues and sleep issues, but much less frequently.

Oh well. I turn 30 in January. This is probably just my body's early 'fuck you are old' birthday present.

(this is also why I've been absent most of this year)

 

[Get'sMad]

I have bouts with atypical depression and suffer from SAD occasionally. It sucks but I'm usually able to cope with it alright. Exercise and a daily routine help me out significantly. I refuse to take meds, but it's never gotten to the point where I've thought I needed them.

 

[PumpkinPie]

My mind cannot fathom how 'normal' people manage to get on with their lives without being depressed, there's so much shit that just keeps knocking you down, even on the rare occasions where I think to myself "OK, things are looking up now" something else just comes along.

As mentioned above: I left school 8 years ago, since then I have not met a single friend nor really spoken to anyone or been out of the house aside from work. I have been to the Doctor twice within the space of a few months and was turned away both times (the second time they suggested a self help group where I listen to other losers' problems)...I resigned to the fact that I will either spend the rest of my life like this and end up an old hermit dying alone, or commit suicide before I reach 30.

My Brother was found dead last week.

 

[Escape Goat]

Suicide is a cop out.

you are weak and pathetic if you think killing yourself solves anything. It doesn't. The only thing it does is prevent you from living your life to its full potential.

go see someone. call a hotline. see a doctor.

do some charity work. see how worse off people are compared to you. You have a pc, you've have internet. A lot of people are worse off. No money. no health. No family. No shelter.

You think they don't know that? the fact you said that proves you have no grasp of depression.

 

[Veidt]

My mind cannot fathom how 'normal' people manage to get on with their lives without being depressed, there's so much shit that just keeps knocking you down, even on the rare occasions where I think to myself "OK, things are looking up now" something else just comes along.

As mentioned above: I left school 8 years ago, since then I have not met a single friend nor really spoken to anyone or been out of the house aside from work. I have been to the Doctor twice within the space of a few months and was turned away both times (the second time they suggested a self help group where I listen to other losers' problems)...I resigned to the fact that I will either spend the rest of my life like this and end up an old hermit dying alone, or commit suicide before I reach 30.

My Brother was found dead last week.

Damn. And I thought my problems were bad.
Hang in there man. Maybe adopt a child or something, if you have the capability to take care of one. This might help you with the longing for connection and also give you a set purpose in life.
Also, maybe try to go to those group thingies. Listening to other people's problems often helps us realize we're not the only ones with difficulties.

 

[Persona7]

get some happy pills bro

 

[Escape Goat]

Damn. And I thought my problems were bad.
Hang in there man. Maybe adopt a child or something, if you have the capability to take care of one. This might help you with the longing for connection and also give you a set purpose in life.
Also, maybe try to go to those group thingies. Listening to other people's problems often helps us realize we're not the only ones with difficulties.

omfg :lol :lol :lol

 

[betweenthewheels]

I've always suffered from anxiety and depression, but it seems to be at an all time high recently. I don't have anyone to confide in (don't want to burden my parents), hence why i'm posting here.

I find myself wandering around my apartment aimlessly just thoughts racing, I have no drive to do anything at all, even play games which I love. I know being held up in my apartment for days doesn't do me any good, but the last thing I wanna do is go out and be social.

Don't know what i'm looking for here, just venting I suppose.

 

[Escape Goat]

I've always suffered from anxiety and depression, but it seems to be at an all time high recently. I don't have anyone to confide in (don't want to burden my parents), hence why i'm posting here.

I find myself wandering around my apartment aimlessly just thoughts racing, I have no drive to do anything at all, even play games which I love. I know being held up in my apartment for days doesn't do me any good, but the last thing I wanna do is go out and be social.

Don't know what i'm looking for here, just venting I suppose.

I'll go ahead and use your post but i think this applies to anyone with mental illness.


Why don't you talk to your parents? Depression is not something to be ashamed of. I used to think that way. I was ashamed that I was weak and that I was suffering from a "non illness". But I was sick. My brain was not functioning the way a brain should. It was also an illness I could not wait out or take an over the counter drug to solve.

This is not how we should be living. There is so much to take advantage of in this world. Nobody should be a prisoner in their own home. But in order to get help you have to want to help yourself first. Nobody on the internet can make you go.

Trust me, go to a free clinic if money is an issue. There really is so much to experience that giving up is a waste.