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[Femmeworth]

I was planning to kill my self yesterday, but I woke up that day not really feeling like it. I was in a dark mood the days proceeding it, but now I'm in more of a "meh" mood.

I'm currently taking 40mg of Prozac and 25mg of lamotrigine.

 

[betweenthewheels]

Thanks for the advice.

I've avoided telling parents cause they already have a lot on their plate. I wouldn't want them losing sleep over it

I was planning to kill my self yesterday, but I woke up that day not really feeling like it. I was in a dark mood the days proceeding it, but now I'm in more of a "meh" mood.

I recommend reading this, it helped me out when I was having suicidal thoughts.

 

[JCX]

I was planning to kill my self yesterday, but I woke up that day not really feeling like it. I was in a dark mood the days proceeding it, but now I'm in more of a "meh" mood.

I'm currently taking 40mg of Prozac and 25mg of lamotrigine.

My dad died on Tuesday. Anyone considering suicide should first have to have to experience the loss of a close family member, plan the funeral, and close the estate. If you still want to inflict all of that pain on the people around you afterward, then you truly are numb to the world.

 

[PumpkinPie]

Damn. And I thought my problems were bad.
Hang in there man. Maybe adopt a child or something, if you have the capability to take care of one. This might help you with the longing for connection and also give you a set purpose in life.
Also, maybe try to go to those group thingies. Listening to other people's problems often helps us realize we're not the only ones with difficulties.

It's funny you should say that because my Cousin had a baby and I met her for the first time yesterday, I had so much fun playing with her. I certainly couldn't adopt a child though, I can barely look after myself never mind anyone else.

 

[brain_stew]

Think long and hard before prescribing to anti-depressants as they can often do more harm than good. I speak from (5 years) experience.

Stay the fuck away from Venlafaxine/Effexor if you don't like dealing with withdrawl symptons.

 

[brain_stew]

seems i could use professional help. But where do i begin? I have no money. If i had the money, id set up with someone tomorrow, but no health insurance or money = no help?

Absolutely disgusting that you don't have easy access to free help.

If you're in university then this may be your best way to access free help.

Anyone have a good reliable online test i can take? I've been having a lot of problems lately and come to think about it i think i have several depression symptoms. I'm currently seeing an specialist to help me deal with other crap in my life( just separated from my wife, my own decision) and i'd like to know if i should bring this up to him.

Nope, because there's no such thing. There's few things harder to properly diagnose than clinical depression and having the diagnosis may do more harm than good if its not hitting at the root of the problem which could be something else entirely. Again, speaking from experience. See a healthcare professional, numerous if possible but trully, you're probably the only one that will ever be able to eventually figure it out. It took me 5 years and medication and a clinical diagnosis only served to postpone that process for me.

 

[RoboPlato]

I just wanted to say that I've been having depression and anxiety for years and I finally went on antidepressants and they've made a huge difference. I'm someone that's never done any drugs or drank alcohol, even though I'm 21, because I didn't like the idea of something messing with me so I was always really hesitant to take them and was pretty much against them. I went from being suicidal and afraid of social situations (I couldn't even go on Facebook or check my email) to feeling normal for the first time in years and have finally started to look on the bright side of things. I definitely recommend it to anyone that needs it. Also the prescription I got is only $4 a month if you go through Walmart, so those of you having concerns about costs (like I do) hopefully you can figure out a way to pay for the consultation since the medication itself is pretty cheap.

 

[brain_stew]

I've been in favor of medication for the depressed for...as long as I've been on this forum. many say that it's just a ploy from the pharmaceutical companies, but I've taken them (Paxil and Lexapro...but I prefer Lexapro... and occasionally Klonopin) and within a year my psyche improved, I became a more confident person, and I've ultimately become the person I've always wanted to be. We have become a world dependent on drugs, but antidepressants and antianxiety medications work.

They work so much as they can help you function day-to-day, which in many cases is absolutely vital and life saving but they can't ever fully "cure" your problem, and worse, many come with such horrific side effects that the withdrawl process can send you back into an even deeper depression.

They're a short term fix for a particularly dire situation, never think of them as a longterm solution or a quick fix and don't take the decision to prescribe to them lightly or often they can do a lot more damage than good.

 

[Veidt]

omfg :lol :lol :lol

man, I was high on nutella when I wrote that :lol

The rest of the post is clean though!

 

[brain_stew]

I just wanted to say that I've been having depression and anxiety for years and I finally went on antidepressants and they've made a huge difference. I'm someone that's never done any drugs or drank alcohol, even though I'm 21, because I didn't like the idea of something messing with me. I went from being suicidal and afraid of social situations (I couldn't even go on Facebook or check my email) to feeling normal for the first time in years and have finally started to look on the bright side of things. I definitely recommend it to anyone that needs it. Also the prescription I got is only $4 a month if you go through Walmart, so those of you having concerns about costs (like I do) hopefully you can figure out a way to pay for the consultation since the medication itself is pretty cheap.

See, this is a situation where they are (seemingly) necessary and vital but they're not the longterm answer. Living on anti-depressants for the rest of your life isn't a solution and the years reliant on medication but they can be a life saver in certain situations.

For you, Robo, what I'd personally advise is to continue doing what you're doing but eventually (say within a few months) formulate some sort of long term strategy to deal with the root problem and for a life coping without the medication. Its too easy (and dangerous) to retain the status quo of a life on medication and without an "end game" you're doing nothing but masking the problem. For now, masking the problem is absolutely what you need, but always bear in mind that its not the final answer so that you don't let things slide. The sooner you tackle it, the better.

 

[RoboPlato]

See, this is a situation where they are (seemingly) necessary and vital but they're not the longterm answer. Living on anti-depressants for the rest of your life isn't a solution and the years reliant on medication but they can be a life saver in certain situations.

For you, Robo, what I'd personally advise is to continue doing what you're doing but eventually (say within a few months) formulate some sort of long term strategy to deal with the root problem and for a life coping without the medication. Its too easy (and dangerous) to retain the status quo of a life on medication and without an "end game" you're doing nothing but masking the problem. For now, masking the problem is absolutely what you need, but always bear in mind that its not the final answer so that you don't let things slide. The sooner you tackle it, the better.

Oh, I'm completely aware of this. It was a situation where I was physically incapable of doing the things I needed to do to get myself better because of the depression. I've been really getting myself back on track and the prescription I'm on is one that they gave to me because relatively easy to get off of. I definitely don't plan on staying on these forever but for now they've been a big help. I would have totally blown my senior year in college if I didn't get help when I did.

 

[brain_stew]

Oh, I'm completely aware of this. It was a situation where I was physically incapable of doing the things I needed to do to get myself better because of the depression. I've been really getting myself back on track and the prescription I'm on is one that they gave to me because relatively easy to get off of. I definitely don't plan on staying on these forever but for now they've been a big help. I would have totally blown my senior year in college if I didn't get help when I did.

Good going, seems you have a decent grasp on the situation now. Wish I could have said the same for myself 5 years ago! :lol

The problem is that the solution is always going to differ from person-to-person and people just screaming "go take some pills" isn't a particularly productive thing. Pills (well the right pills) are part of the solution for many but they're not a solution that is universally applicable or universally good.

 

[J Tourettes]

Good going, seems you have a decent grasp on the situation now. Wish I could have said the same for myself 5 years ago! :lol

The problem is that the solution is always going to differ from person-to-person and people just screaming "go take some pills" isn't a particularly productive thing. Pills (well the right pills) are part of the solution for many but they're not a solution that is universally applicable or universally good.

I think that's why it's vitally important that people go to their doctors. Some Anti-depressants made me a fuck ton worse, increased thoughts of self harm, made my insomnia even worse, shot holes in my memory and made me a prickly fuck. Others made me lethargic and put on weight. I fucked them all off in the end, cold turkey. I certainly wouldn't advise that for anyone but I seem to be doing a lot better now than I was at this point a year ago.

On the other hand I have friends that have found ads to be a massive help so ymmv.

 

[Escape Goat]

man, I was high on nutella when I wrote that :lol

The rest of the post is clean though!

Well thank God.

 

[way more]

They work so much as they can help you function day-to-day, which in many cases is absolutely vital and life saving but they can't ever fully "cure" your problem, and worse, many come with such horrific side effects that the withdrawl process can send you back into an even deeper depression.

They're a short term fix for a particularly dire situation, never think of them as a longterm solution or a quick fix and don't take the decision to prescribe to them lightly or often they can do a lot more damage than good.

I wouldn't call the short term. You can stay on them for the rest of your life will no problems. They are likely the most benign of meds and most research seems to indicate the do little if anything. You sound like a person who suffered an adverse reaction and although traumatic your experience does not jive with the general consensus.

It sounds like you went on and off them quite rapidly.

 

[Mully]

For the past two years, I have had been depressed due to a series of concussions. In all I had around 5 confirmed concussions. Two of them were pretty severe and the other 3 were pretty mild. I've probably had 2-3 more that were unconfirmed.

Anyways, since about the middle of my junior year in HS, I started to decline academically, emotionally, and mentally. I used to be an A student with little effort. Now, I have to study atleast 4x a day to understand something. Math used to be my best subject, I could have done any type of problem without the help of a pen and paper. Now it takes me minutes to conjure up a solution for a simple problem.

I guess when I started to notice this decline I began to become extremely depressed. This continued until my Freshman year in college. I had a full ride to a D1 school for soccer. I was doing alright. Things started to improve until I was hit in the head by a falling goal on a windy day during my first semester.

The trainer immediately did a bunch of tests and told me I couldn't play soccer for a few years due to the risk of brain damage with another concussion. Suddenly things just started to fall apart everywhere. It wasn't until June where things started to get back together.

I saw a psychiatrist for my rage. I saw a better neurologist. And I learned.

I guess at some point, you'll hit a point where you realize that, yes your life is crappy. Yes you're sad. However at one point, you just have to learn to move on and seek help. Whether it be a family member or medication, it's time to get yourself better and move on from what you had before.

 

[spazzfish]

My advise would be to have strong people around you that can help pull you out of depression.
I wouldn't advise getting tablets from a doctor as really they don't have a damn clue what they are doing. They'll give you tablets for stubbing your toe. Ask to see a proper mental health specialist as they are a lot more clued up then your GP.
Depression is a personal thing and you need to help yourself. You have to find something that you enjoy.
For me I've always tried to go and find nature. Spend time sitting on park benches, walking in woods going to listen to the crashing waves of the sea.
Try and keep to routines even just set simple ones to start, like getting dressed in the morning, brushing your hair.
Try getting someone to bring you food you enjoy. Stop watching the fucking tv, news and all that crap.
For me and others i've known what's helped is trying to forget your current life an expectations. Stop trying to live up to society's ideals because they are bullshit. Spend time really trying to find what you want with your own mind.
This helps in the long run. Do NOT ever think about how other people perceive you in your current state it' doesn't help. The crazy thing is in times like this you will also find out who the true people are in your life, so in a crazy way you can also gain from a bad experience.
If your spiritual (i'm not) but I know many that where helped a bit by this book:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/dp/0340733500/

Even if you aren't spiritual there is actually some good life advise in this book.
Try not to let yourself get consumed.
I know it's hard I've had a life time of it and I'm going through a really bad time now, but it DOES get better.

 

[Coldsnap]

I'm pretty sure experiencing an extremely traumatic event will push one into a depression they will never get out of. Which is something I have been through which troubles me but it's just something I live with, I will catch myself enjoying life though....

 

[Escape Goat]

I wouldn't advise getting tablets from a doctor as really they don't have a damn clue what they are doing.

Its not magic. Its medical science

 

[Tideas]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB3NPNM4xgo

watch this, and be depress no more

 

[Escape Goat]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NB3NPNM4xgo

watch this, and be depress no more

"aaaaaaand SAFE!"

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WJjzHguAXPA

 

[brain_stew]

I wouldn't call the short term. You can stay on them for the rest of your life will no problems. They are likely the most benign of meds and most research seems to indicate the do little if anything. You sound like a person who suffered an adverse reaction and although traumatic your experience does not jive with the general consensus.

It sounds like you went on and off them quite rapidly.

I was on them for 5 years, and I'm sorry but in what universe is being on anti depressants for the rest of your life in anyway reasonable?

As for them being a "benign" form of medication, well tell try telling that to anyone that has suffered the withdrawl symptons of Venlafaxine/Effexor.

 

[spazzfish]

Its not magic. Its medical science

http://www.cchrint.org/2010/08/03/l...nce-is-no-suicidal-side-effects-with-placebo/

 

[brain_stew]

Its not magic. Its medical science

Most GPs that prescribe anti depressants haven't the slightest idea whether you have a particular chemical imbalance in your brain. Its something that is very hard to diagnose and can't be properly figured out in half an hour. An improper diagnosis can do a lot more harm than good, its no fun living a life without emotions, being unable to feel empathy sent me into a much deeper cycle of depression/anxiety.

Look, I'm not trying to debate how essential anti depression drugs can be in certain cases and the science behind them, they can be a literal lifesaver and if you have the particular chemical imbalance in your brain that a particular drug targets then there's likely no better solution. However, if they're improperly prescribed they're not going to be helpful and a lot come with some pretty shitty side effects and withdraw symptons and I'm sorry, but anyone suggesting that being reliant on anti-depressants for the rest of your life is some sort of reasonable solution is not being sympathetic. The simple idea that your continued existance is tied to heavy continued reliance on medication is enough to reinforce someone's depression.

 

[TL4E]

Most GPs that prescribe anti depressants haven't the slightest idea whether you have a particular chemical imbalance in your brain. Its something that is very hard to diagnose and can't be properly figured out in half an hour. An improper diagnosis can do a lot more harm than good, its no fun living a life without emotions, being unable to feel empathy sent me into a much deeper cycle of depression/anxiety.

Look, I'm not trying to debate how essential anti depression drugs can be in certain cases and the science behind them, they can be a literal lifesaver and if you have the particular chemical imbalance in your brain that a particular drug targets then there's likely no better solution. However, if they're improperly prescribed they're not going to be helpful and a lot come with some pretty shitty side effects and withdraw symptons and I'm sorry, but anyone suggesting that being reliant on anti-depressants for the rest of your life is some sort of reasonable solution is not being sympathetic. The simple idea that your continued existance is tied to heavy continued reliance on medication is enough to reinforce someone's depression.

When you get treated for depression, 99.9999% of the time they do not check for chemical imbalances. So yes, while GPs aren't aware of any possible "imbalances," the psychiatrist is just as unaware. As a matter of fact, it is not currently known whether depression is caused by a "chemical imbalance"--the so called monoamine theory of depression that is backed by dubious evidence at best.

Psychiatrists are just slightly better at dealing with particular symptoms, such as anxiety and sleeplessness, and in rare cases you find a psych that uses certain drugs for specific subsets of depression.

 

[Trent Strong]

I said something about anti-depressants being placebos, and linked to a Newsweek article about it, in some other thread and everyone jumped down my throat. I'm surprised you guys are getting away with saying they might be placebos.

 

[Lonely1]

Well, I'm not physician. But actually, I had to try different anti depressants before finding something that worked for me. The bad thing is that the pills are too fucking expensive and I have asked my psychiatrist for an alternative several times now. But he said is too risky atm.

So, in my experience, they do seem to have some chemistry effect. Although the sentiment that what was happening to me wasn't my fault, that I was just simply ill and in need of some medicine was fundamental for my recovery.

 

[Lonely1]

I said something about anti-depressants being placebos, and linked to a Newsweek article about it, in some other thread and everyone jumped down my throat. I'm surprised you guys are getting away with saying they might be placebos.

For the like of us that have suffered through sever depression, the knowledge that our condition wasn't our fault, that instead we were ill and in need of external help was very, but very important. So expect us to maintain our position that they aren't mere placebos. At least no more than other types of medicine.

 

[way more]

I was on them for 5 years, and I'm sorry but in what universe is being on anti depressants for the rest of your life in anyway reasonable?

As for them being a "benign" form of medication, well tell try telling that to anyone that has suffered the withdrawl symptons of Venlafaxine/Effexor.

I don't want to dismiss or somehow belittle your experience with SSRI's. But to reject them and suggest to the general public that they are dangerous is something that I believe you should be more aware of. Depression is never something cut and dry as "take this and feel better." It is a mountain every sufferer must scale yet I am not about to advise those in pain not exercise because it did not work for me.

It is important to remember that treatment is the first and hardest step in conquering depression. As long as the afflicted is not seeking help from a cult any ingress into medical assistance needs to be applauded. It is absolutely necessary that a doctor is found. I'm sorry for the problems you experienced. I plan to stop using paxil very soon using a graduated and doctor approved schedule.

For the like of us that have suffered through sever depression, the knowledge that our condition wasn't our fault, that instead we were ill and in need of external help was very, but very important. So expect us to maintain our position that they aren't mere placebos. At least no more than other types of medicine.

The placebo argument is that in 80% of cases the medicinal effect is nil. Yet in those who are dramatically depressed the effects are wonders. If they worked for you likely had an aspect of severe depression that was treated. Or, it was a placebo. This is just as good.

 

[Trent Strong]

For the like of us that have suffered through sever depression, the knowledge that our condition wasn't our fault, that instead we were ill and in need of external help was very, but very important. So expect us to maintain our position that they aren't mere placebos. At least no more than other types of medicine.

Oh, I completely agree that depression is an illness and is not the fault of the person suffering from it. I've had depression myself, and I've been on many different anti-depressants through the years.

 

[brain_stew]

I don't want to dismiss or somehow belittle your experience with SSRI's. But to reject them and suggest to the general public that they are dangerous is something that I believe you should be more aware of. Depression is never something cut and dry as "take this and feel better." It is a mountain every sufferer must scale yet I am not about to advise those in pain not exercise because it did not work for me.

It is important to remember that treatment is the first and hardest step in conquering depression. As long as the afflicted is not seeking help from a cult any ingress into medical assistance needs to be applauded. It is absolutely necessary that a doctor is found. I'm sorry for the problems you experienced. I plan to stop using paxil very soon using a graduated and doctor approved schedule.

I think you're confusing my argument.

I'm not arguing that people don't seek out professional help, quite the opposite, that was never part of my argument. It should always be the first port of call. All I'm suggesting is that antidepressants are too readily seen as a quick fix solution and that there's too many GPs that will readily prescribe them without enough consideration. Take on board the doctors advice but don't take the decision to prescribe to these meds (especially in higher doses, this was probably what fucked me the most) lightly.

No one truly overcomes depression with medication alone and to rely on medication or view them as a long term solution is the wrong way to go about things. They're an absolutely vital tool in many cases (as I've said they can be literal life savers), but yes, they can often do more harm than good, being stuck on medication with some nasty side effects and horrific withdrawl symptons isn't particularly nice and can feel like an impossibly vicous cycle to get out of.

Of course, not all meds are created equal, so it pays to do the research into what the particular side effects and withdrawl symptons of a particular medication is, I did a little of this but decided to brush most of it off and take most of my doctor's advice with blind faith and umm, yeah, that didn't work out so well.

 

[Lonely1]

Sorry to hear your bad experience Brain_stew. I guess I was lucky to fall into very good hands. my treatment was (well, still is) coordinated between a psychiatrist and a physiologist.

 

[Stridone]

I don't get it. I have so much good in my life right now (moving into my new 4 bed in a couple of weeks, have an amazing girlfriend, good job, lots of good friends) and always keep busy (full time job plus two things I do on the side, often playing football, going out with friends, seeing my gf) yet I just feel utterly fucked, I have no idea why.

Constantly having negative thoughts about things to a worrying degree when I have absolutely nothing to be slightly upset about, can never get motivated to do things even if I enjoy them... I eat healthily, try to do exercise whenever possible (maybe 2/3 times a week) but I'm just like... fuck!

Is there anything I can do short of go to a doctors and take some pills? :/

I'm kind of like this. I have a loving girlfriend and family, friends, the intelligence and degrees to study whatever the fuck I want, and at the moment nothing really negative at all I guess... But still I'm depressed. I have a hard time studying because negative thoughts keep coming along. Constantly wondering what reason there is to be happy, whether this feeling of despair will ever end. I've been kinda depressed on and off for 2 years (I'm 18 now) but recently it has become very rough cause I'm more at home studying alone. The weekends are bearable, going out with friends (getting drunk and/or high obviously) and hanging out with my girlfriend, but those fucking weekdays crush me... Not really seeing a way out but I'm trying to hold on to the hope that it will somehow get better once I move out of the house next year, to another city for my study. Maybe I've been stuck in the same stuff for too long (I have that tendency).

 

[half a moon]

My mind cannot fathom how 'normal' people manage to get on with their lives without being depressed, there's so much shit that just keeps knocking you down, even on the rare occasions where I think to myself "OK, things are looking up now" something else just comes along.

As mentioned above: I left school 8 years ago, since then I have not met a single friend nor really spoken to anyone or been out of the house aside from work. I have been to the Doctor twice within the space of a few months and was turned away both times (the second time they suggested a self help group where I listen to other losers' problems)...I resigned to the fact that I will either spend the rest of my life like this and end up an old hermit dying alone, or commit suicide before I reach 30.

My Brother was found dead last week.

I'm the same. Been out of school for 2 years, only leave the house for work, no friends. I'm getting vision problems tho. Shakeyness, constant after images, tons of other things. Been going to doctors and they can't find anything. 2 years ago I was like "gonna work out and improve my life" Now I just can't function with these vision issues. I wonder how much is anxiety/stress based.

i don't have any desire to commit suicide tho. And I'm real sorry about the death.

 

[betweenthewheels]

Stay the fuck away from Venlafaxine/Effexor if you don't like dealing with withdrawl symptons.

A few year back I tried stop Effexor cold turkey, which was very stupid...i've never felt so fucked up in my life.

How did you manage to get off of them, or do you still use?

Is it possible to side step withdrawal symptoms with the help of a doctor? I've been wanting off Effexor for a while, doesn't seem to be helping.

 

[Gaaraz]

Thanks for the replies yesterday guys, I don't know what's up with me now, absolutely massive mood swings from incredibly happy to incredibly low. Not sure if it's some kind of weird bi-polar thing or whether it's just all in my head and the issues are caused by my crippling low confidence, but either way I feel absolutely fucked again now, just as I did yesterday, despite feeling absolutely on top of the world last night and this morning. Hm.

Think maybe I do need help but not really sure where to even go. Just my GP or something?!

It's so annoying because I just constantly think ohh I'll just get my work life in check then I'll be okay, then ohh I'll buy a house and move out then I'll be okay, then ohh I'll just find an awesome girlfriend and I'll be okay. But I'm not.

 

[Canova]

After 2 hospital stays and a couple encounters with police during the course of this year, my head issues have been upgraded. One of my newer drugs works incredibly well for depression, but the side effects I'm getting are -really- problematic, and I'm not so sure if the benefit outweighs the problems. A few amusing problems:

1) Extremely vivid dreams. And they're not random--it's like the dreams are synced to your worst fears and anxieties, and you can't wake yourself up like you can in normal nightmares. This might tie in with. . .

2) Halucinations (usually when either going to sleep or waking up in the morninc). Lots of moving shadows in the periphery. There have been shadows that I could swear are moving down the hallway towards me, like someone else is in my apartment. When it is dark, but not totally), I start seeing faces on things, maybe like someone is in my apartment waiting for me to go to sleep so they could rape me. I get suckered by these all the time--when you are -really- halucinating, you lose that sense of what's real. You won't even question whether what you are seeing. One night during an especially bad episode, I woke up on my bathroom floor and saw that I had destroyed about half of my apartment. I was "sane" when I woke up, but it took me hours to convince myself that whatever happened last night wasn't real.

3) Cognitive issues. When I woke up on that floor, I didn't even remember what caused me to do such a thing or even doing it in the first place. A ton of times I've woken up, ran outside to drive to work, and discovered that it was like 3-4AM and I didn't even realize it was still dark when I ran outside. I do it on Saturdays, too. I also remember having conversations with people or doing something with them. These aren't really halucinations since I never experienced the event, whether true or false, I just -remember- doing it.

4) Seizures. While the drugs soften them and make them less scary, I have them (I think) more often. Lots of bruises and random aches.

Eh, truth be told, most of these have mostly disappeared. They were far worse when the docs were upping my doses every week. I think most of these side effects are just a reaction to not having stable doses at the time. I still get the cognitive issues and sleep issues, but much less frequently.

Oh well. I turn 30 in January. This is probably just my body's early 'fuck you are old' birthday present.

(this is also why I've been absent most of this year)

pardon me for my ignorance on this matter, but those are weird ...and scary symptoms

I wish you all good luck on your struggle to overcome this disease.

Always have something to really believe in

 

[brain_stew]

A few year back I tried stop Effexor cold turkey, which was very stupid...i've never felt so fucked up in my life.

How did you manage to get off of them, or do you still use?
.

I managed to come off 150mg cold turkey because my drive and motivation is at a very high level atm, it was complete hell and I'm not for one moment going to recommend it but it was the best decision I've ever made.

 

[Aesius]

Sorry for the bump, but I'm just in need of some kind words and perhaps some advice.

I probably hit the lowest point in my life last night - for no reason at all. I was in pure mental anguish. I actually called my mom and halfway through the conversation started crying my eyes out.

My brain chemistry is completely fucked right now. Things that used to be minor annoyances/depressants have now become cripplingly debilitating. I've been all alone in my apartment for a few weeks now (roommate is out of town), and I've just paced around, struggling to maintain my sanity.

Then I woke up this morning and felt marginally better. Well enough to get out of bed and go to work, at least. If last night was a 10/10 on the depression scale, I'm probably sitting at a 6 right now. I feel like shit, but I have a grip on reality.

I'm currently on Wellbutrin - been on it for about a week. I've been told that it works best when prescribed in conjunction with an SSRI, so I'm calling my psych first thing in the morning to get something called in. I also feel like I HAVE to see a therapist this week. My mind is a clusterfuck of negative thoughts. I literally feel trapped inside my own mind.

Thing is - once I'm out of the house and talking to people, I can function 100% normally. I'm still depressed, but it's just enough to get me out of my own head. But once I get home and sit down in front of the computer, I'm right back into hell.

This sucks horribly.

 

[betweenthewheels]

Sorry for the bump, but I'm just in need of some kind words and perhaps some advice.

I probably hit the lowest point in my life last night - for no reason at all. I was in pure mental anguish. I actually called my mom and halfway through the conversation started crying my eyes out.

My brain chemistry is completely fucked right now. Things that used to be minor annoyances/depressants have now become cripplingly debilitating. I've been all alone in my apartment for a few weeks now (roommate is out of town), and I've just paced around, struggling to maintain my sanity.

Then I woke up this morning and felt marginally better. Well enough to get out of bed and go to work, at least. If last night was a 10/10 on the depression scale, I'm probably sitting at a 6 right now. I feel like shit, but I have a grip on reality.

I'm currently on Wellbutrin - been on it for about a week. I've been told that it works best when prescribed in conjunction with an SSRI, so I'm calling my psych first thing in the morning to get something called in. I also feel like I HAVE to see a therapist this week. My mind is a clusterfuck of negative thoughts. I literally feel trapped inside my own mind.

Thing is - once I'm out of the house and talking to people, I can function 100% normally. I'm still depressed, but it's just enough to get me out of my own head. But once I get home and sit down in front of the computer, I'm right back into hell.

This sucks horribly.

I recently suffered through my worst night ever too. I was, like you, held up in my apartment by myself for a few days straight.

My only advice is to get out more often before you get that bad. Even if it's just going to a store, as cabin fever and depression aren't a great mix. Even better would be to get out and socialize, but that may not always be an option.

 

[ericexpo]

Sorry for the bump, but I'm just in need of some kind words and perhaps some advice.

I probably hit the lowest point in my life last night - for no reason at all. I was in pure mental anguish. I actually called my mom and halfway through the conversation started crying my eyes out.

My brain chemistry is completely fucked right now. Things that used to be minor annoyances/depressants have now become cripplingly debilitating. I've been all alone in my apartment for a few weeks now (roommate is out of town), and I've just paced around, struggling to maintain my sanity.

Then I woke up this morning and felt marginally better. Well enough to get out of bed and go to work, at least. If last night was a 10/10 on the depression scale, I'm probably sitting at a 6 right now. I feel like shit, but I have a grip on reality.

I'm currently on Wellbutrin - been on it for about a week. I've been told that it works best when prescribed in conjunction with an SSRI, so I'm calling my psych first thing in the morning to get something called in. I also feel like I HAVE to see a therapist this week. My mind is a clusterfuck of negative thoughts. I literally feel trapped inside my own mind.

Thing is - once I'm out of the house and talking to people, I can function 100% normally. I'm still depressed, but it's just enough to get me out of my own head. But once I get home and sit down in front of the computer, I'm right back into hell.

This sucks horribly.

Been going through the same shit, been inside my apartment for the weekend. I'm completely fine at work, like i never get depressed there because i have people to talk to. But as soon as i get home i don't want to leave the apartment.
And my birthday was yesterday and two people remembered out of bunch of "friends", so that just added to the feeling of forever alone after a shit Christmas and new years and birthday. All weekend i was just thinking "alright we just have to make it to Monday"
And i don't think it's going to help that i decided over the weekend that i wouldn't be talking to most of my friends anymore because i lived in the city for a year now and seen them in town once (city from them 15 mins) they say its to far of trip but their always around when i'm at my parents.
I'm just venting here, i'm consistently on this edge of keeping my depression in check and they know it's caused by me being alone, but it seems like they just don't give a shit about me. This weekend has really hit me like shit. And now on the walk to work i have to think of a lie about what i did for my birthday and new years so they don't know i'm a hopeless loser.

 

[Dipper145]

Sparing you my whole long depression story, basically I had really bad depression and anxiety for several years that quickly got worse as I was going to be going off to university soon. I was put on medication (cipralex) and went to a psychologist.

My psychologist suggested I read "The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns" as that is where he got most of his ideas/exercises about cognitive behavioral therapy from. I know this book really helped me improve my sense of self-worth and helped me identify errors in my thinking that made me depressed or made me feel anxiety. I would highly suggest going to your library and seeing if they have a copy available, or buying your own copy. Remember to do the exercises that are in the book, even if it seems silly, they are actually extremely helpful.

It's really amazing how quickly your life can change. My life is great now. I've made more friends, I've found confidence, I've gotten girls, and I'm really enjoying my life again after 4 long, hard years. I really have a whole new outlook on myself and my life. I used to cry because I thought my life was so bad. Now I cry because I can't believe my life has gotten so much better.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Sorry for the bump, but I'm just in need of some kind words and perhaps some advice.

I probably hit the lowest point in my life last night - for no reason at all. I was in pure mental anguish. I actually called my mom and halfway through the conversation started crying my eyes out.

My brain chemistry is completely fucked right now. Things that used to be minor annoyances/depressants have now become cripplingly debilitating. I've been all alone in my apartment for a few weeks now (roommate is out of town), and I've just paced around, struggling to maintain my sanity.

Then I woke up this morning and felt marginally better. Well enough to get out of bed and go to work, at least. If last night was a 10/10 on the depression scale, I'm probably sitting at a 6 right now. I feel like shit, but I have a grip on reality.

I'm currently on Wellbutrin - been on it for about a week. I've been told that it works best when prescribed in conjunction with an SSRI, so I'm calling my psych first thing in the morning to get something called in. I also feel like I HAVE to see a therapist this week. My mind is a clusterfuck of negative thoughts. I literally feel trapped inside my own mind.

Thing is - once I'm out of the house and talking to people, I can function 100% normally. I'm still depressed, but it's just enough to get me out of my own head. But once I get home and sit down in front of the computer, I'm right back into hell.

This sucks horribly.

yoga and meditation are the best things you can do

exercise and omega 3 are great also

 

[Shalashaska]

Sparing you my whole long depression story, basically I had really bad depression and anxiety for several years that quickly got worse as I was going to be going off to university soon. I was put on medication (cipralex) and went to a psychologist.

My psychologist suggested I read "The Feeling Good Handbook by David D. Burns" as that is where he got most of his ideas/exercises about cognitive behavioral therapy from. I know this book really helped me improve my sense of self-worth and helped me identify errors in my thinking that made me depressed or made me feel anxiety. I would highly suggest going to your library and seeing if they have a copy available, or buying your own copy. Remember to do the exercises that are in the book, even if it seems silly, they are actually extremely helpful.

It's really amazing how quickly your life can change. My life is great now. I've made more friends, I've found confidence, I've gotten girls, and I'm really enjoying my life again after 4 long, hard years. I really have a whole new outlook on myself and my life. I used to cry because I thought my life was so bad. Now I cry because I can't believe my life has gotten so much better.

Cheers for this. I've finally getting around to getting help for similar issues that have plagued my life for far too long.

 

[I NEED SCISSORS]

I'm really down at the moment. It started after I was out on Friday night with friends, seeing one of their old music teacher's bands at a gig. Long story short: the band was shit, I randomly met some of my sister's male model friends whom I felt pathetic compared with, then had far too many fags and absolutely crashed in a mate's flat, and ultimately spent the night wandering the streets of Glasgow looking for a hooker with two other friends (getting banned from two casinos in the process)... the next day I just felt so much shame and regret.

On Saturday it got worse. I live in Scotland and think it's just okay, but my parents are from abroad and despise it. They have longed to leave, and now my dad has landed a really big job interview back in his home country. It seems almost certain he'll get it - and it makes me sad. I don't speak to my dad nearly enough, but would love to spend more time with him... and now i'm going to see him even less just when I was going to turn it around. I feel sort of happy that he'll be happy, but I only come out of it worse. As soon as my mum finds a job with him, i'll be left here by myself in this country, which honestly scares me. Speaking of my mum, her job is getting her so flustered that she has started forgetting things... I can only pray it's just stress and not something serious.

To top it all off, i'm turning 20 in a couple of months. It depresses me endlessly - I realise i've done next to nothing with my life. Haven't had a girlfriend and frankly can't because of awful anxiety; it's doubtful i'm going to be kept on at my part-time job; i'm anorexic with extreme difficulty putting on weight and am also losing my hair; university is shit, the lecturer's are cunts and i'm learning nothing..... it goes on and on. My best friend on the same course at uni has also gone mute on me after he did no work and I didn't put his name on the hand-in as a result. He is reclusive and no longer speaks to me, so i've given up on him, but feel sad about it all the same - maybe I should have just given him a free pass? It makes me feel like I may as well be dead to him...

I apologise for this post and bumping such an old topic... just needed somewhere to vent...

 

[Londa]

bookmarked.

 

[xelios]

I get down from time to time and occasionally seriously consider suicide. I'd say about once a month and it's a very impulsive bad day with lots of crying, which is enough for my Dr. and therapist to be concerned.

The thing is it's always because of how other people treat me or things they do to me (betrayal). I've been betrayed throughout my life starting with my parents, my siblings, my friends, and ultimately my own "soul mate". Even still, I can honestly say I've never betrayed anyone or sought revenge to those people.

But I love me. I like myself. There's nothing wrong with me; in fact, I'm special. That's what makes it so damn sad that I even have to feel this way. What I'm in therapy for was all caused by other people years ago, but I still have to deal with it.

Basically, fuck other people for slowly killing what should have been me. I know some of me is missing and it hurts.

 

[Drewsky]

I've been depressed for the last couple of years, diagnosed. I've been on a couple different SSRIs but none of them have helped in the least, they might numb anxiety for me a little, but the feelings of hopelessness and pointlessness are still very much there. It's only getting worse, I just failed out of a mediocre college in my hometown because I never went to class, just slept all day. So now I have no idea where my life is headed. This is the first time I've ever done anything that has irreparably damaged the rest of my life. I'm pretty much addicted to prescription painkillers, and right now I'm fresh out, and feeling it hard.

It's scary, but I'll most likely pull through and continue living this life. Not sure how I feel about that.

Phew, that felt good, but really embarrassing.

 

[demon]

I'm really down at the moment. It started after I was out on Friday night with friends, seeing one of their old music teacher's bands at a gig. Long story short: the band was shit, I randomly met some of my sister's male model friends whom I felt pathetic compared with, then had far too many fags and absolutely crashed in a mate's flat, and ultimately spent the night wandering the streets of Glasgow looking for a hooker with two other friends (getting banned from two casinos in the process)... the next day I just felt so much shame and regret.

On Saturday it got worse. I live in Scotland and think it's just okay, but my parents are from abroad and despise it. They have longed to leave, and now my dad has landed a really big job interview back in his home country. It seems almost certain he'll get it - and it makes me sad. I don't speak to my dad nearly enough, but would love to spend more time with him... and now i'm going to see him even less just when I was going to turn it around. I feel sort of happy that he'll be happy, but I only come out of it worse. As soon as my mum finds a job with him, i'll be left here by myself in this country, which honestly scares me. Speaking of my mum, her job is getting her so flustered that she has started forgetting things... I can only pray it's just stress and not something serious.

To top it all off, i'm turning 20 in a couple of months. It depresses me endlessly - I realise i've done next to nothing with my life. Haven't had a girlfriend and frankly can't because of awful anxiety; it's doubtful i'm going to be kept on at my part-time job; i'm anorexic with extreme difficulty putting on weight and am also losing my hair; university is shit, the lecturer's are cunts and i'm learning nothing..... it goes on and on. My best friend on the same course at uni has also gone mute on me after he did no work and I didn't put his name on the hand-in as a result. He is reclusive and no longer speaks to me, so i've given up on him, but feel sad about it all the same - maybe I should have just given him a free pass? It makes me feel like I may as well be dead to him...

I apologise for this post and bumping such an old topic... just needed somewhere to vent...

Not saying you have no right to be depressed about things, but you make it sound like 19 is nearing the end of your life. Dude, I'm just about exactly ten years older than you (30 in september) and I'm dealing with major regrets and feelings of never having done anything with myself and having missed out on youth. Even I haven't entirely given up yet.

As crappy as you may feel your life is right now, the fact that you're only 19 is something to be very happy about, and you may not realize it until years later. I envy you.

Also regarding hair loss: propecia and rogaine. Look into them.

 

[I NEED SCISSORS]

Also regarding hair loss: propecia and rogaine. Look into them.

I have. I get side effects with the former and the latter isn't working. It's also expensive and I am struggling to afford it.

I should be grateful that i'm still young, but I still feel like shit since all of my friends have been having such great lives with girlfriend, job, social life etc since they were about 15.. it's like I feel like I haven't yet lived while everyone else already has.