Cool, you had a negative attitude and turned it around. But you were never depressed.
Depression
- Thread starter Jea Song
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Cool, you had a negative attitude and turned it around. But you were never depressed.
Yeah, this, it was probably teenage angst.
so basically this thread is an excuse for you to brag?
Look guys, the 21-year-old is giving out life advice! How adorable.
See? I can be unreasonably condescending about your life situation as well!
Good good...
Have you tried looking into volunteer work abroad? Don't go for the ones that make you cough up monies and is for x amount of time...instead look for places that will offer you just accommodation and work and they don't advertise a period of need...
I did this and it helped me alot...I managed to go travelling country to country off the back of just volunteering and building up a network...some will give you money...some won't because they cover all your basic needs so you will be forced to live modestly and by humble means. If I find the contact details of who sorted me out I'll pass it along to you if you wish...they deal mostly with south asia parts of the middle east and north africa.
You won't make money but you'll gain confidence in yourself, your social skills and best of all you'll gain all sorts of skills that you probably thought you didn't have in you to accomplish and do...
Thanks for the offer but I have so much debit to pay off I cannot do something like that. I wish there was reincarnation so I can just rid myself of this life. Even today I go out with a friend to talk about what I should do and in the restaurant there is a huge mirror and I see how big and fat I have become so much so I am so disgusted with myself. It would so much easier to just end my life.
I don't understand what being big or fat has to do with it. You could always change that, but even if you don't; who the fuck cares? Being fat isn't the end of anything, though it can be the beginning if you want it to.
On reincarnation btw, pretty sure how well you do with this life makes the following ones even better, and vice versa.
Seriously, just hang in there is all I can say, I think it'll all be worth it at the right time.
Just some tips to some of the people here depressed like myself and feel unattractive due to weight or other issues and that is it may become likely through your efforts that you begin to believe getting in shape and fit will bring you success and happiness. It doesnt do shit on its own. I started working out almost 2 years ago to lose weight. I lost 50 pounds and have kept most of it off till today. The weight i gained back has all been in muscle as ive been doing weights for past year. Pictures of my body could now be considered on the better looking side of the spectrum. But im still a virgin at 28 and still depressed and still lonely as fuck.
There was a brief moment right after i lost the weight that i felt really good. But that went away quick when i realized nothing was different and nothing external was gonna come rescue me like every movie brainwashes you to believe.
So really the only advice i'd have here is find something else to solve depression issues before going full hog on exercise thinking that when you reach your goal good things will happen, cause you could wind up feeling even lower after you think you exhausted all possibilities. If you find something that works then work on the appearance as a supplement.
There was a brief moment right after i lost the weight that i felt really good. But that went away quick when i realized nothing was different and nothing external was gonna come rescue me like every movie brainwashes you to believe.
So really the only advice i'd have here is find something else to solve depression issues before going full hog on exercise thinking that when you reach your goal good things will happen, cause you could wind up feeling even lower after you think you exhausted all possibilities. If you find something that works then work on the appearance as a supplement.
I don't understand what being big or fat has to do with it. You could always change that, but even if you don't; who the fuck cares? Being fat isn't the end of anything, though it can be the beginning if you want it to.
On reincarnation btw, pretty sure how well you do with this life makes the following ones even better, and vice versa.
Seriously, just hang in there is all I can say, I think it'll all be worth it at the right time.
Being old and fat are the worst things that can happen to a gay man. I feel out of place everywhere. I hate it. And every time I try to get myself into shape one day the next i am so down and depressed i do not want to go anywhere or when i come home some a stressful day at work which is about everyday i really do not have the energy or will power to even do anything. I was going to get the P90X but I know it will be a waste of money for a person like me. I wish there was a drug to completely wipe my mind clean so the person i am now will not exist.
On reincarnation btw, pretty sure how well you do with this life makes the following ones even better, and vice versa.
.
dont feed him bullshit
you only live once, so you have to make the most of it
You can do something like that, there is absolutely no reason why you cannot other than you putting up artificial barriers for yourself...
Seek help for your debts...you should never be a slave to your own debt and I know that's easily said but it doesn't lose it's truth...
P90X is a waste...
If you wanna lose weight without exercise you can try a wheat and dairy free diet. More simply just stick to 3 things to eat...1) lean meat 2) vegatables and 3) fruit.
No need to measure food items consumed or count calories...hell even if you just restrict your wheat and dairy intake you'll see results...this I can guarantee because your metabolism will change for the better and you will lose weight this way...
CornBurrito
Member
I think you fail to realize that depression isn't just a cognitive problem. It is also a biological problem.
Telling someone with depression that others have it worse isn't a documented cure for depression.
While cognitive therapy (shifting perspectives) works for some, it has to be done carefully, not in the most condescending manner possible. And even when done carefully it might not be enough, because depression is part biological in nature.
And having a negative attitude when you were a teenager doesn't mean you had clinical depression, or anything that could be classified as such.
Domino Theory
Crystal Dynamics
Is there any way to suppress sexual desire/libido? I ask because I've been doing the whole quitting porn thing and one of the biggest effects is getting the desire to have sex/be with an actual person rather than satsify yourself with porn/masturbation and that feeling has hit me HARD lately.
The problem is that I've grown up my whole life with severe social anxiety, general anxiety, and fear. I only had one or two friends growing up and just stuck with them because it seemed like they were the only ones willing to be around me (I was obese, smelly, unorganized, etc. growing up).
5 years ago (October '07), they just decided to up and cease all contact with me for unknown reasons and that effectively left me completely alone with no friends (and I still have no friends). Video games, Halo, GAF, and porn were pretty much the only things keeping me going.
Since then I've completely changed my habits: I lost a ton of weight and have been regularly doing heavy weight lifting for a year and a half now, I regularly take care of my hygiene.
Despite all of this, the facts still remain that I have no friends (I've made some close friends from HaloGAF and we've met each other during two PAXs but that's not enough for me), I'm still living with my mother at age 22 because I can't support myself financially right now while in school, still a virgin, never had a girlfriend, I feel like I have too many imperfections to show myself off, etc.
I spend most of my days just looking around Whole Foods, Barnes 'n' Noble, and two Targets, in addition to going to the Y to workout three days a week. I spend most of my time talking to myself and it's almost always negative talk. I know that's bad, but I can't help it.
I wouldn't say so much that I'm clinically depressed as I am just really bummed out about my life and all the things it's missing. This feeling skyrocketed when I quit porn because it turned my desires to physical human connection, but on the other side, there's this tremendously strong anxiety, fear, and imperfections that prevent me from doing anything about it. It's like the anxiety/fear is the unstoppable force and the desire for a connection is the immovable object.
Because of this, I just want to ween my sexual/emotional desires without going back to regular porn and masturbation so I can go back to focusing 100% of my time on school, working out, and my new eating lifestyle.
I tried venting a little bit of this to both the LadyGAF advises ManGAF thread and the Dating thread, but of course, the people in there are well off, have fun, have friends, go on dates, have sex, etc., so there's no need for them to give a damn about someone like me. I guess it was my mistake in venting in places like those.
These days, especially the population my age, it's all about going to bars and clubs to meet partners, but I hate those scenes because it's not me. I don't like to drink, I don't like to smoke. And even when I remotely contemplate going to those places, I remember how stupid I'll look going there alone in addition to worrying abou my imperfections. It's all about picking up on physical cues and playing games when it comes to getting women it seems and I simply don't want to play. I KNOW that because I don't want to play, I won't get a partner at all, so the next best thing is to just try and remove my desire for them in the first place.
Sorry if all of this mumbo jumbo seems out of place, I just need a place to vent and ask about ways to suppress my libido.
The problem is that I've grown up my whole life with severe social anxiety, general anxiety, and fear. I only had one or two friends growing up and just stuck with them because it seemed like they were the only ones willing to be around me (I was obese, smelly, unorganized, etc. growing up).
5 years ago (October '07), they just decided to up and cease all contact with me for unknown reasons and that effectively left me completely alone with no friends (and I still have no friends). Video games, Halo, GAF, and porn were pretty much the only things keeping me going.
Since then I've completely changed my habits: I lost a ton of weight and have been regularly doing heavy weight lifting for a year and a half now, I regularly take care of my hygiene.
Despite all of this, the facts still remain that I have no friends (I've made some close friends from HaloGAF and we've met each other during two PAXs but that's not enough for me), I'm still living with my mother at age 22 because I can't support myself financially right now while in school, still a virgin, never had a girlfriend, I feel like I have too many imperfections to show myself off, etc.
I spend most of my days just looking around Whole Foods, Barnes 'n' Noble, and two Targets, in addition to going to the Y to workout three days a week. I spend most of my time talking to myself and it's almost always negative talk. I know that's bad, but I can't help it.
I wouldn't say so much that I'm clinically depressed as I am just really bummed out about my life and all the things it's missing. This feeling skyrocketed when I quit porn because it turned my desires to physical human connection, but on the other side, there's this tremendously strong anxiety, fear, and imperfections that prevent me from doing anything about it. It's like the anxiety/fear is the unstoppable force and the desire for a connection is the immovable object.
Because of this, I just want to ween my sexual/emotional desires without going back to regular porn and masturbation so I can go back to focusing 100% of my time on school, working out, and my new eating lifestyle.
I tried venting a little bit of this to both the LadyGAF advises ManGAF thread and the Dating thread, but of course, the people in there are well off, have fun, have friends, go on dates, have sex, etc., so there's no need for them to give a damn about someone like me. I guess it was my mistake in venting in places like those.
These days, especially the population my age, it's all about going to bars and clubs to meet partners, but I hate those scenes because it's not me. I don't like to drink, I don't like to smoke. And even when I remotely contemplate going to those places, I remember how stupid I'll look going there alone in addition to worrying abou my imperfections. It's all about picking up on physical cues and playing games when it comes to getting women it seems and I simply don't want to play. I KNOW that because I don't want to play, I won't get a partner at all, so the next best thing is to just try and remove my desire for them in the first place.
Sorry if all of this mumbo jumbo seems out of place, I just need a place to vent and ask about ways to suppress my libido.
lunarworks
Member
My depression lately has been paired with a major flare-up of attention deficit disorder.
So basically I have a strong desire to massively change my life for the better (mainly career wise), but am completely lacking the wherewithal to do so.
So basically I have a strong desire to massively change my life for the better (mainly career wise), but am completely lacking the wherewithal to do so.
SlipperySlope
Banned
You might want to give the show "The Pickup Artist" a watch. It's actually helpful.
Second, have you considered online dating?
Baggatoast
Member
Shit, GAF. I'm depressed right now.
Tell me if I'm just being a real bitch but my girlfriend lives a half-hour away from me so I cant see her very often, just a couple times a week but sometimes she doesn't even consider coming to see me or me going to see her. She never asks if I want to come down and she's always with friends. It sucks and I want to see her more but half of the time when I want to come down she has a friend over. I just don't think she appreciates our time together as much as I do.
Also, second semester freshman on academic probation because I changed majors mid-semester last semester and Didn't give a fuck about my classes, ended up failing all but 2 (which I got A's in). There's a lot of stress on my right now and I just want to crawl in a hole for a month until someone comes to get me.
Thanks for listening, I needed to vent.
Tell me if I'm just being a real bitch but my girlfriend lives a half-hour away from me so I cant see her very often, just a couple times a week but sometimes she doesn't even consider coming to see me or me going to see her. She never asks if I want to come down and she's always with friends. It sucks and I want to see her more but half of the time when I want to come down she has a friend over. I just don't think she appreciates our time together as much as I do.
Also, second semester freshman on academic probation because I changed majors mid-semester last semester and Didn't give a fuck about my classes, ended up failing all but 2 (which I got A's in). There's a lot of stress on my right now and I just want to crawl in a hole for a month until someone comes to get me.
Thanks for listening, I needed to vent.
Boozeroony
Member
I suffered from severe depressions over 9 years now. 1 failed suicide attempt and hospitalized once.
I graduated university this year.
No matter how fucked you feel, it will get better. Always.
I graduated university this year.
No matter how fucked you feel, it will get better. Always.
I've tried to avoid this thread, but obviously I have decided to post.
Depression is such a horrible thing to go through. I still have issues from time to time. I have not attempted suicide, but I completely sympathize with anyone who has a strong urge to do so. When I feel truly awful, I really try to think of an optimistic future scenario I can reasonably see myself in. This is a herculean effort, I am a natural pessimist...a strong, strong pessimist. This personality trait formed in my early pubescent years and has stuck around ever since (only had my first gf at age 24...at the time I figured if I wasn't good enough for anyone by age 25, it was time to end it).
So, back to my strategy (and I'm not even implying it works for anyone else, this is just me), I try to think of a possible, positive outcome as a near term goal. I purchased a gaming PC recently achieving one of my short term goals. I had purchased a Telescope prior to that. I have some artistic talent and wish to hone that talent...so in my first steps towards learning to love to draw again, I plan on going to the zoo in a few hours and take reference photos. Hopefully being outside in the sunshine and fresh air will make me feel better (I rarely get out! If i'm not in my apartment I'm in my car on my way to work, and from work its back into the car on my way to my apartment. I stay inside my dwelling each day off! I need to change this!!). Then gain, I'm a vampire, I work late night shifts.
Finally, I have a thirst for knowledge and I try to daydream about what possible amazing discoveries mankind will be making in the next few years. I want to see where we will go as a species within my life-time. I like being on Neo Gaf just for the sake of chatting and learning all sorts of new things!
Ultimately, its very difficult to fight urges. I myself am overweight (with terrible urges to over indulge), but I have found limited success with a diet (which I've cheated on during my vacation or rather, stacation). I plan on getting back on it hardcore and will be joining a 24 hour gym, so that my funky work hours cannot be excuse for not going. I had success maybe 2 years back at gaining some muscle, and I was on the verge of shedding fat...but gave up. I need to get back on the ball and see what I'm capable of. I just need some will power.
Sometimes the urge to end it all is incredibly strong, I really do hope that anyone contemplating suicide can find the strength to delay that urge as long as possible. I feel for you guys. Neojubei and the rest!
Depression is such a horrible thing to go through. I still have issues from time to time. I have not attempted suicide, but I completely sympathize with anyone who has a strong urge to do so. When I feel truly awful, I really try to think of an optimistic future scenario I can reasonably see myself in. This is a herculean effort, I am a natural pessimist...a strong, strong pessimist. This personality trait formed in my early pubescent years and has stuck around ever since (only had my first gf at age 24...at the time I figured if I wasn't good enough for anyone by age 25, it was time to end it).
So, back to my strategy (and I'm not even implying it works for anyone else, this is just me), I try to think of a possible, positive outcome as a near term goal. I purchased a gaming PC recently achieving one of my short term goals. I had purchased a Telescope prior to that. I have some artistic talent and wish to hone that talent...so in my first steps towards learning to love to draw again, I plan on going to the zoo in a few hours and take reference photos. Hopefully being outside in the sunshine and fresh air will make me feel better (I rarely get out! If i'm not in my apartment I'm in my car on my way to work, and from work its back into the car on my way to my apartment. I stay inside my dwelling each day off! I need to change this!!). Then gain, I'm a vampire, I work late night shifts.
Finally, I have a thirst for knowledge and I try to daydream about what possible amazing discoveries mankind will be making in the next few years. I want to see where we will go as a species within my life-time. I like being on Neo Gaf just for the sake of chatting and learning all sorts of new things!
Ultimately, its very difficult to fight urges. I myself am overweight (with terrible urges to over indulge), but I have found limited success with a diet (which I've cheated on during my vacation or rather, stacation). I plan on getting back on it hardcore and will be joining a 24 hour gym, so that my funky work hours cannot be excuse for not going. I had success maybe 2 years back at gaining some muscle, and I was on the verge of shedding fat...but gave up. I need to get back on the ball and see what I'm capable of. I just need some will power.
Sometimes the urge to end it all is incredibly strong, I really do hope that anyone contemplating suicide can find the strength to delay that urge as long as possible. I feel for you guys. Neojubei and the rest!
That's great, you've proven you can make big changes to your life for the better, the trick is not to stand still but to keep on improving.
Everybody has imperfections, is there anything particularly special about yours?
Aside from that, you're only 22, being a virgin and living at home is no big deal. Your sexual frustration is not just about not having a girlfriend however, it is exacerbated by the lack of social life and interaction with friends and your low self-esteem. Sexuality is not just physical, it is about intimacy and human bond. The limitations of your social life increase your frustrations.
So the answer is simply that you need to beome social. If you can't even make or keep friends how are you going to get or keep a girlfriend? How do you become social? It's a simple 4 step process:
1) Get yourself in a reasonable relaxed/positive mood
2) Go to places where there are people
3) Talk to the people around you
4) Agree to meet those people in some other place
Just start with smiling and saying "hello how's it going?" to everyone be it the person you sit next to in class or the staff at the gym or the shop assistant at whole foods. Then share a bit about yourself. Tell your class mates how you are looking forward to going to the gym that evening, or what game you played last night. Tell the gym people(pro tip befriend the staff) about what you are doing in school or what games you are playing. People will share stuff about themselves. Just keep it simple and over time you can build find commonalities and build friendships. Oh and in addition to gym/school try to do other social activities and repeat the 4 step process.
At least with this paragraph, it's increasingly becoming a social norm to live at home like this too in your college progressions. I moved back home recently so I could afford grad school, and when I told people where I lived they just told me how lucky I was to even have the option to live at home to save money instead of chastising me (I was really worried about this too!). It's hard to say much about the rest, but really, you can never make any progress on those things unless you go outside of your box.
As long as you're still in school, you should just try spontaneously approaching people (I understand how hard this is, having done this for the first time 4 years ago (and I got rejected, but so what?)), and just see how things go. One time I tried asking a girl out to a lunch date. She wasn't interested in me, we had an awkward lunch, and then we just kinda were acquaintances. After the whole thing I started to feel horrible, but as soon as it hit me as to what I had accomplished, and that I did it on my own, I was so happy that I proved to myself that I could do it.
To be honest with you, the most important thing is to have that first victory of just being satisfied that you at least tried! Once I overcame that once, I became more outgoing, tried more new things, met new people at the weirdest places, and overall, I just felt like I became a better person to be, and a better person to be around.
It's not something that happens fast, but if you keep at it, you'll get there. Ask someone from your classes if they want to get lunch. Maybe someone is doing a study group for some class: Go to it (even if you don't actually need the help; it's the group bonding and getting known that matters). Sometimes you'll have to do things you know you don't want to do.
Hang in there!
I think that for a quite a few depressions where western society and media are also partly to blame to be honest.
You pretty much get imprinted since birth with a lot of expectations, almost telling you what to do with your life before it's even starting. Always have good grades in school, have lots of friends and social activity, be sportive, have an "athletic" body, find a girlfriend/boyfriend in your teen years, lose virginity at a certain age, have a career, get married with kids and own a beautiful house.
Everything has to be perfect for us, because that's what we were taught since we were children. We are put under a lot of pressure and some people just seem to be able to deal with those things better than others, or they just have more luck.
Anyway,
I used to be overweight and I managed to get myself in shape by working out a lot, I have to take Accutane to clear my Acne (which luckily is working quite good without side-effects), never had a girlfriend (but I met someone, I'll see how that works out) and I already managed to convince myself that I'm not that bad looking. However, school could still be a lot better. I learned guitar, which is a large help in dealing with stuff, music has a big influence in how I can vent my emotions.
I find myself fortunate that I do have quite a few friends, and 4/5 very good friends who are in pretty much the same situation like I am, and feel the same about it. So atleast I have someone to talk to about my issues, since they know what it's like so that definately helps.
Even though I feel better now than I used to, there are still days that I feel like shit, slow steps ahead I guess. What I meant earlier in my post and what I think that gets me sometimes is that society always shoves all the things that I missed in my face even though I'm still 19 and young enough to do whatever I want. I just try to have a perspective of what is still possible in the future and how that will impact my sense of well being.
You pretty much get imprinted since birth with a lot of expectations, almost telling you what to do with your life before it's even starting. Always have good grades in school, have lots of friends and social activity, be sportive, have an "athletic" body, find a girlfriend/boyfriend in your teen years, lose virginity at a certain age, have a career, get married with kids and own a beautiful house.
Everything has to be perfect for us, because that's what we were taught since we were children. We are put under a lot of pressure and some people just seem to be able to deal with those things better than others, or they just have more luck.
Anyway,
I used to be overweight and I managed to get myself in shape by working out a lot, I have to take Accutane to clear my Acne (which luckily is working quite good without side-effects), never had a girlfriend (but I met someone, I'll see how that works out) and I already managed to convince myself that I'm not that bad looking. However, school could still be a lot better. I learned guitar, which is a large help in dealing with stuff, music has a big influence in how I can vent my emotions.
I find myself fortunate that I do have quite a few friends, and 4/5 very good friends who are in pretty much the same situation like I am, and feel the same about it. So atleast I have someone to talk to about my issues, since they know what it's like so that definately helps.
Even though I feel better now than I used to, there are still days that I feel like shit, slow steps ahead I guess. What I meant earlier in my post and what I think that gets me sometimes is that society always shoves all the things that I missed in my face even though I'm still 19 and young enough to do whatever I want. I just try to have a perspective of what is still possible in the future and how that will impact my sense of well being.
I love Kitties
Member
I used to struggle with depression. But then I found that I taking b vitamins and amino acids helped tremendously. It makes me wonder how many people with depression have underlying nutrient deficiencies. I used the book The Way Up from Down. There's a website http://www.thewayup.com. It worked for me. I hope that it helps others.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
When people say shit like this, makes me realize they have no clue what they're talking about.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
When you were depressed (before taking those nutrients) did you have suicidal thoughts? Did it help with those?
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
That has a lot to do with it (plus American society is pretty sick to begin with), but for me I think my depression stems from a chemical imbalance. Do I have any proof? Absolutely not, but at least it makes me feel like it's out of my hands. Sadly the few times I've tried to get professional help for my depression, the Dr. always want to give me pills. Getting me hooked on a drug before determining whether I actually need it is not something I can get down with.
I've changed my approach to dealing with depression over the years. I've accepted the fact that this thing will always be a part of me. Now it's just about finding ways to cope and deal with it. I try to do something protective and engaging. Go to the gym, study for a certification, clean my house, work on growing my business. Just anything to get my mind out of it's current state.
CornBurrito
Member
Actually you do have quite a bit of proof. Current evidence suggests that chemical imbalances in the brain are responsible for depression.
That's not to say it is all biological (cognitive therapy is known to help with depression), but it is at least part biological.
I find that Fish Oil with high EPA has really helped. i take 3-4 capsules a day and have been now for a month. I feel different, more positive and my depression has literally subsided. i'M a vegetarian so maybe that caused this in the first place. Lack of nutrients, essential oils etc.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
By proof I meant I don't have any reports that show what chemical is down and by how much. On a side note I applied for a job that required Secret clearance and was shocked to see questions on the form asking have I ever been to a Dr for any mental health reasons. I've never actively been to therapy before, but that gave me even less of a desire to go knowing it might screw with some employment opportunities.
Mr.Squirrel
Tom
I'd be depressed if I couldn't eat a bacon cheese burger too. Now that I think of it, growing up my dad was a vegetarian and tried to convince me that meat, and especially pork was evil and I should never eat it.
My first piece of BBQ made me realize that he didn't love me and did not have my best interest at heart.
This isn't really good advice, but one of the side effects of SSRIs is that they can lower your libido. I think they did for me, slightly, I still had urges but not as many as a 16-18 year old boy would.
Otherwise though, you do seem to have made some huge progress. You're in school, which helps a lot with meeting people. A lot of GAF says things like "Oh you have to try not to get laid/have tons of friends while in school!" and I've never really subscribed to that, being shy/anxious/depressed myself, but it really does make things easier. You might never get an opportunity like it again; you'll spend most of your time at work and it seems harder to meet people when you get older.
Try joining clubs, or study groups, maybe pick up an intramural sport. I like the sport one because you can sort of do your talking on the field, and when I'm physically tired a lot of my anxiety goes away, merely because I can't devote enough energy to it.
I'm at the position where I'm looking for a job, and this is getting me down considering nothing happened at college for me...
My life is ruined.
The Technomancer
card-carrying scientician
I'm at the position where I'm looking for a job, and this is getting me down considering nothing happened at college for me...
My life is ruined.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/5-reasons-you-dont-miss-your-20s-when-theyre-over/
Number 3
In all seriousness, I just want to chime in with my input and life experiences.. High school sucked for me, and so did the end of junior high. I wasn't really a friend to anyone, despite knowing everyone. Stuff just generally sucked. I became home schooled later on, after a 6 month 'vacation' of hell in Egypt, which was not a fun experience.
Anyway, long story short, at 16 I wake up to a slamming door and an FBI/NSA guy with a gun in to my face. Yells step aside etc etc and proceeds to yell out the names of my family (mother, father, sister). They all get taken away, and i'm left with my nephew who just turned one year old. I've never change his diaper, never fed him, bathed him or put him to sleep. I'm just left in the house alone with him. I break down, don't know what to do, and it's just horrible. I make my way and take care of myself and the baby by all means necessary. Electricity of the house cut off eventually, food supplies were low and friends were scarce. Those friends that I did know, even close family friends who I had known for many years, showed their true colors.
I eventually made my way, which is a long story, and got help. I didn't want to go into CPS because I knew me and my nephew would get split. I also couldn't contact my family as they were in downtown houston and there were no means for me to get there or know where they would be exactly. This went on for half a year, me on my own, 16, raising this baby alone. It was the most horrible time of my life. No freedom, no guarantee of a future, no nothing. Not knowing what's coming around the corner or what the future holds is dreadful. There were times where I honestly contemplated suicide , putting the kid up for adoption somehow, and so on. I probably would have if it weren't for my baby nephew though, I just morally had to stay in this mode where I took care of him. I lost 15-20 pounds in this time period, because I was going days sometimes without eating to feed the baby.
In the end it worked out, I met good people and made some fine friends, and I was reunited with my family. This was at the very end, and it came suddenly at a low point for me.
I guess my point in all this, is that when you are truly free and have options, I just don't see how you can complain about life. Everything sucks sometimes, but really embrace how good you have it, how free you are to do whatever you want, explore, meet people, live love learn etc.
I know it may not be that simple, but every day I fall asleep I spiral into the world that I was in for those 6 months or so, and I get nauseous and depressed, but then I open my eyes are realize everything is fine now and i'm free, with endless possibilities ahead of me and an anchor on life.
Just my input, hope it helps and I hope I didn't offend anyone.
I don't understand this story.
So you were in the US with your family and suddenly an FBI agent came into your house, arrested everyone except for your nephew and you and walked out? And then nothing else happened? You were just left in the house?
Why was your family even arrested? Why would the FBI agent leave you in the house?
Explain more please.
The medical technology isn't there yet. Depression is diagnosed by symptoms over time. If you've had a number of recurring major depressive episodes, particularly without significant stimuli, then you probably have a chemical imbalance. Unfortunately, where we are technologically, the answer is to take the drugs and see if they make you feel better. This is particularly slippery with SSRI's which are subtle.
I didn't want to believe I was bipolar II but finally agreed to take Trileptal (not an SSRI, but a sodium channel blocker) and it felt like someone flipped a switch in my brain. The medicine worked so well for me that it was difficult to argue against the diagnosis. It works by reducing abnormal electrical activity in the brain, which I didn't know I had until it stopped. Suddenly I felt vaguely normal for the first time in decades. It stabilized my moods and allowed me to start rebuilding the wreck I'd made of my life.
Not everyone is as lucky as I've been with their medication. And I wasn't always historically that lucky, considering I did ten years on a medication that made me worse. But you need to go see a psychiatrist, not get your meds from a general practitioner. GPs do not know what they're doing.
It's not that I fear never finding a girlfriend, I just don't want anything serious for a while.
I just want a bit of fun, whether that's with girls or just socialising/partying. College would've been a good time for that had it all went well for me.
I'm afraid now things are ruined and I wont have the chance for any of that.
It's getting me down.
I love Kitties
Member
No, I did not have suicidal thoughts. My overall mood improved dramatically, though. I continue to take my supplement regime daily. Come to think of it, I take fish oil, too.
I dunno if I'd want to exchange a living hell for another living hell.
I did a page or two ago. (post 698)
And yes, they just left us in the house, and nothing else happened. My mom eventually called the home phone, but that was only once and then the electricity got cut off.
From there, I sought for help from family friends and the like, for months, usually to no avail.
I've been considering doing something similar, but I feel like it would just drive me crazy since there are no women in my area I could date. Add to the fact that I'm also living with my mother at 23 and have a shitty, brain dead job, it does not make me seem very attractive to a potential partner. It's really frustrating too to go out and see couples or hear from other people about their dating lives, and feel completely left out. Hence porn, which provides some escapism even though it's not healthy in the long run. Congrats to you at least for being able to move on from that, takes a lot of will power.
If it means I do not have to live in this way of thinking then being brain dead might work.
Smelly Tramp
Member
just seek out some girls at a bar. walk up ad talk to them, if they're not interested? who cares man you won't see them again.
if you end up getting a girl, dont tell them you have no friends, just say you're new in town.
if you end up getting a girl, dont tell them you have no friends, just say you're new in town.
CornBurrito
Member
Have you considered getting ECT?
http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Depression/story?id=4199997&page=1#.TxzGaW9rOf4
betweenthewheels
Member
At 27 and still living with the parents, I often regret all the dating I didn't do in College. So, at this point, i'm worried about women either being 'taken' or scared away once they realize how neurotic and socially awkward I am.
You just gotta push those negative thoughts out of your head and quit regretting the past. I know, easier said than done when your depressed, but there are tons of women/men like us out there that just aren't as visible as the extroverted bar hoppers.
I hope that didn't sound like your typical "stop being sad...get off the ledge" dude, that's not my intention at all. I'm just going through my own issues atm and have difficulty expressing my thoughts into words.
Anyway, forgot this thread existed and i'm glad it's still active
Sending you guys/gals an e-hug
lunarworks
Member
Stopping regretting the past isn't easy.
That, and regretting all the things you haven't done is more powerful than regretting things you did.
- Status