You should notice that I nearly always decline offers to play or make excuses. I am an antisocial gamer that gets anxiety whenever has to interact with another person. Before this I would play mmorpg's alone. I stopped all online back in 2005 and hoped I would never go back, but... I always make the same mistakes. I bought Destiny to see if I could function in an online game, but the answer is again, no. Playing with randoms was a waste of time. Playing with others was painful. During the VoG raid I wanted to bail out all the time. I found fun being part of something, being able to exchange ideas about something, but in the end I don't enjoy this kind of games.
At the risk of sounding crude I will say that I already guessed all of this because I have seen this so many times in so many people....including myself. My hands used to tremble when playing with other people, I would quit matches whenever I had to do something important and everyone had to watch me do it. To tell you about myself, when I moved to England 5 years ago I came from a small town in India which even people in India do not know about as such had a very very different upbringing and had very different opinions and views on things that were foreign to me. I had never traveled outside of the country let alone traveling alone to actually move out. When I arrived I had a room booked in a student accommodation, I did not leave my room for 2 full days ! I only went out of my room to access the kitchen but only when I could not hear anyone around, I had never even hugged a girl and I was 19 years old ! So you can imagine how uncomfortable I might have been in an environment where it didn't matter what sex you were when it came to making friends. I had never seen these things, or been in such situations and I was shy, anti-social and anxious.
Here's more, I am not from an English speaking country but I did my entire schooling in English yet when it came to speaking/talking I could barely even finish a sentence in English, if you talk to me today without knowing that I originally come from India you would probably think I am English. I attribute it a lot to online gaming that helped me improve my confidence that I could even use in real life ! What I am saying is that, I've been there...but the only way you get out of it is if you try to do it yourself rather than blaming your anti-social behavior and your anxiety everytime something like this happens. You do that and you have an excuse all the time to cop out of something....all the time.
And you would be surprised to see just how many of the people I play with are similar. There are a lot of people here in this thread itself that will post a lot but will barely even talk when playing because they are not comfortable doing so.
Basically you have to give it a try, yes you might say that you did but you tried the worst bit the game had to offer and gave up instead of trying the best bit before concluding it's not for you and that there is some problem with you yourself when it's not. A lot of people feel the same but the first step is to just give things a try a bit longer than you think they deserve, the reason for this being you have your own "comfortable threshold" and once that threshold is hit you bail out, you have to just learn to tolerate things past this threshold this is what people mean when they say try to get out of your comfort zone because otherwise you spend time in that bubble/zone your entire life....that is ofcourse if you genuinely want to get out of it.
I'm sorry I didn't mean to write a lecture/article on this but I just saw so many similarities here to my own situation that I just had to say.
