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[samn]

The disclaimer at the bottom of the article, which people probably won't read, says that this shouldn't be taken as a substitute for medical advice nor does it reflect the overall opinion of the site. I doubt Gwyneth even knows what this shit is about, she probably just collects that check.

I still hold her fully responsible.

 

[Back-In-Black]

We're done here.

 

[Übermatik]

Tip: use Creme Eggs instead.

Spoiler

Don't

 

[Media]

God damn it.

I've collected stone eggs since I was a little girl, and even have one from the late 1800s that's jade.

Now people are going to think I'm fucking weird. Thanks.

 

[FyreWulff]

rock and roll coochie koo

 

[kavanf1]

God damn it.

I've collected stone eggs since I was a little girl, and even have one from the late 1800s that's jade.

Now people are going to think I'm fucking weird. Thanks.

Clearly they have magical powers, you're over 200 years old.

 

[Stallion Dan]

The physics of this image bother me.

 

[Poppy]

God damn it.

I've collected stone eggs since I was a little girl, and even have one from the late 1800s that's jade.

Now people are going to think I'm fucking weird. Thanks.

wow, that's quite the collection of vintage vaginoliths!

 

[Stormhammer]

i prefer my eggs tenga ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[Media]

Clearly they have magical powers, you're over 200 years old.

Shhh!

(It was the first one I collected, and it was grandma's, whos grandma gave it to her)

 

[Messofanego]

God damn it.

I've collected stone eggs since I was a little girl, and even have one from the late 1800s that's jade.

Now people are going to think I'm fucking weird. Thanks.

You didn't tell us you were a vampire.

 

[Dude Abides]

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them in my clam.

 

[L Thammy]

I take all my health advice from 4chan shock images.

 

[Poppy]

Shhh!

(It was the first one I collected, and it was grandma's, whos grandma gave it to her)

do you think if you keep passing your grandma's vagina egg down for generations it will eventually gain feminine chi superpowers like when you charge up the sun stone for 65 million years in chrono trigger?

 

[FyreWulff]

Jade rods, duh.

 

[Kite]

Eggs? Vagina? I've seen enough hentai...

Nightshift Nurses, scene is infamous.. eww

 

[Curt Baboon]

Who goes through the trouble of making a magazine only to then name it GOOP?

 

[yanipheonu]

i prefer my eggs tenga ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

 

[Stormhammer]

You didn't tell us you were a vampire.

well you see, the jade egg absorbs blood to keep the vampire sustained

:3

 

[Ghost is Bad]

may as well shove those jade eggs up your ass. probably have the same health benefit.

 

[gatling]

I do not like green eggs and ham.

I do not like them in my clam.

Dear lord this thread lmao

 

[Atomic Playboy]

may as well shove those jade eggs up your ass. probably have the same health benefit.

Might as well shove the $66 up your ass. The next time you shit, you can celebrate with a video game and a Toblerone.

 

[Ghost is Bad]

Might as well shove the $66 up your ass. The next time you shit, you can celebrate with a video game and a Toblerone.

why not both ¯\_(&#12484_/¯

 

[L Thammy]

do you think if you keep passing your grandma's vagina egg down for generations it will eventually gain feminine chi superpowers like when you charge up the sun stone for 65 million years in chrono trigger?

isn't that the origin story of Sun Wukong

 

[shinra-bansho]

She's a health menace and a charlatan.

 

[Incendiary]

Huh. I didn't know Gwyneth Paltrow was crazy. Good to know!

 

[Count Dookkake]

10/10

Perfect response.

Underrated flick, too.

 

[DrSlek]

Can I interest any of you fine, intelligent Gaffers in some snake oil?
It's good for what ails ya!

 

[Darksol]

What percentage chi increase can I expect?

 

[Media]

do you think if you keep passing your grandma's vagina egg down for generations it will eventually gain feminine chi superpowers like when you charge up the sun stone for 65 million years in chrono trigger?

That's the idea. I was lied to, told it would be my generation. Fuck you grandma.

 

[sturgboski]

Who the hell calls a Vagina a Yoni?

I hear tell of a site on the interwaves that provides tales of the yoni.

 

[WiiredShawn]

I do believe there can be valuable benefits to some forms of alternative medicine, herbal supplements and such.

But whatever good there might be, Paltrow and her ilk are going to sink it with all of their snake-oil bullshit.

 

[Any Questions]

Can I intrest anyone is some ASS EGGS™

They are made from pure Zimbabwean marble (known to have healing powers), and have thousands of medical benefits. I can 100% guarantee that they will increases chi, give you extremely strong erections, add anal muscle tone, balance and add testosterone, and give you much more masculine energy in general.

Ive been putting them in my anus for 20 years and ive never felt healthier, stronger or faster than I do today.

Call me today, Dr Smiles, at 0800 ASS EGGS

Do you perchance happen to be a prince who needs to temporarily borrow £2000 to get access to your billions? If so I can lend you the cash, butt those ass eggs look phoney to me.

 

[Peccavi]

So basically like Ben Wa Balls? Except with a bunch of alt-medicine gibberish piled on top rather than just being a sex thing.

 

[UpDownLeftRight]

I mean... there's already an egg you can put up there for better orgasms anyway. They're even cheaper and there's no shortage of supply.

 

[Grug]

I always laugh when snake oil sales types reference that their product was used by the ancient God kings of Babylon or whatever.

I mean who doesn't want to get their medical advice from an era where adult life expectancy was about 23 and infant mortality was probably like 3 in 5.

 

[hipbabboom]

If a guy eats jade eggs and has sex with and also busts in a women who inserted jade eggs inserted into her vagina then wont the woman instantly die of jade egg poisoning?

 

[Zoe]

My wife mentioned this to me once actually. It was mostly for the exercise aspect of it. Good to know that a Jade egg in particular is a bad idea.

Yeah, I've heard that egg-shaped or round objects can be inserted in the vagina for strengthening those muscles (and in some cases pleasure, like with ben wa balls), but it seems like the first step is making sure the material is actually safe to be inserted. Multiple times, especially if you're paying $66 for it.

No, even then sticking (and leaving) things up there is not good for you. The muscles aren't meant to be left in a contracted state.

 

[Media]

No, even then sticking (and leaving) things up there is not good for you. The muscles aren't meant to be left in a contracted state.

Not to mention toxic shock syndrome

 

[FyreWulff]

I do believe there can be valuable benefits to some forms of alternative medicine, herbal supplements and such.

But whatever good there might be, Paltrow and her ilk are going to sink it with all of their snake-oil bullshit.

alternative medicine is like alternative facts, if it was the truth it wouldn't be alternative.

 

[Dice//]

Man how do people fall for this shit.

Right here. Why would this ever be taken seriously?

 

[OmegaFax]

Jade rods, duh.

If Gwyneth is the head of the EPA, Homer is her deputy.

 

[ItWasMeantToBe19]

“As for female energy? I’m a gynecologist and I don’t know what that is!?”

Lol doc you played yourself you just lost all your patients why would you admit you don't know something so basic smh.

*you're

 

[Frozenprince]

Jade rods, duh.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

NOOOOOOOOOOOPE

 

[Stabby McSter]

wait

vaginal steaming?

 

[titiklabingapat]

I mean, there is a reason why these things sell: a sucker is born every minute. I can't hate on Paltrow for taking advantage of that.

 

[Kthulhu]

what happens when it hatches

Where do you think Cadbury eggs come from?

 

[chrisPjelly]

what happens when it hatches

You put it back in

 

[Poppy]

Where do you think Cadbury eggs come from?

is it true that fertilized cadbury eggs hatch into peeps?

i didnt want this to be top of page wah

 

[sc0la]

I thought a jade egg in this case was another name for a thousand year egg for a minute
:$