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drunk thread: anonymous alcoholics

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blame space

Banned
also im going on vacation for like 5 days tomorrow with my sister. She pretty much smokes weed everyday, wich coupled with me bringing a shit load of alcohol should make for an interesting week

she's 40 with kids btw. She once got so high that she started crawling in the floor with them for hours when they were babies.
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damn this is awesome
 
B

balddemon

Banned
so guys
this girl im talking to is looking like she wants to stick around. plus shes getting her own place in april. i plan to be her first roommate.
 
S

Salsa

Member
balddemon said:
so guys
this girl im talking to is looking like she wants to stick around. plus shes getting her own place in april. i plan to be her first roommate.
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s20n2.jpg
 
S

Salsa

Member
sidenot: someone on reddit mentioned like a "DELAYED EJACULATION" condition and linked to a wikipedia entry that actually says its a real condition with treatment and whatnot

I think I have it. I always last way too long and while its mostly a good thing, sometimes it absolutely sucked.

apparently one of the reasons is jerking off too much and like, getting used to the tight grip of your hand and being impossible to recreate that feel with an actual pussy, like, it becomes not enough to get off

I jerked a fucking TON during my early teens.

resolution: havent jerked nor had sex in 10 days now. Gonna start humpin the wall any time now.
 
S

Salsa

Member
balddemon said:
i wish i had the problem of delayed ejaculation.
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you really dont. I remember one particular instance with an ex-GF where we fucked for like 30 minutes, then she gave me a BJ for like 10, looking tired as shit. I told her it was ok and fapped as soon as she went to sleep besides me, feeling like the less manly man of all the men out there. Just pathetic.

also more on topic: I get a pretty bad whiskey dick, hasnt been that much of an issue lately but it tends to suck considering that like 80 percent of the situations where im gonna get laid being single happen when im drinking
 
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Wool

Member
SalsaShark said:
you really dont. I remember one particular instance with an ex-GF where we fucked for like 30 minutes, then she gave me a BJ for like 10, looking tired as shit. I told her it was ok and fapped as soon as she went to sleep besides me, feeling like the less manly man of all the men out there. Just pathetic.

also more on topic: I get a pretty bad whiskey dick, hasnt been that much of an issue lately but it tends to suck considering that like 80 percent of the situations where im gonna get laid being single happen when im drinking
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I have been trying to quit yanking the chain altogether for a couple months. In December I had a 13 day streak, but by the end of that I was popping boners looking at the nasty old war widows who came into my work.



I just had a job interview at this bakery and they asked me what customer service means to me. Urban Dictionary defines customer service as:

1. A job which causes your anus to hurt because you've been bending over backward and taking it from whiny, complaining, bratty, idiots all freaking day long.

2. Something that isnt what it used to be. Customer service workers get paid to lower themselves and kiss ass to ungrateful, stupid pricks known as the "public." Customer service workers only have their positions while obtaining a college degree, so they can get out of customer service hell and kiss ungratefull customers goodby for a real job that offers a future and more financial security.
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S

Snuggles

erotic butter maelstrom
I have no problem busting during sex, but handjobs never do the trick for me. Girls just can't get it right, they always yank too hard or pump at the wrong speed. Only I have the touch. I'm like a handjob wizard. Dudes would be lining up for this, I could be making bank.
 
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balddemon

Banned
handies always hurt. also what sucks is when the girl's pants are off but not her panties and you're buck ass naked and shes grinding her sequin studded panties on your raw dick.
 
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freenudemacusers

Member
Serious, getting a raw hj from a woman on your bed on the middle of winter while your baby is crying in the next room over and you're drinking a beer watching random tv shows through Netflix on your laptop a few inches away is like the best thing ever.
 
W

Wool

Member
Why doesn't Devolution post in here anymore? This would be the perfect time for her to come in and say that handjobs are sexist or something.
 
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