-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
drunk thread? drunk thread.
- Thread starter DeathbyVolcano
- Start date
- Status
Blitzed as fuck right now.
If you wanna be pro, and know what's good, you'll listen to the man who knows from experience. Look, you're gonna do what you're gonna do, and you're not gonna give a fuck about anything or anyone but yourself. BUT, the second you wake up the next morning, and you feel that hangover taking over, you'll fall from the top of the mountain to the bottom of the fucking river. Don't drown, man. Suck it up and admit you want my help. I got you.
There's several steps. First things first, you need to satisfy your appetite. If you go out and drink heavily, then stagger home and immediately pass out, you're a fucking idiot. Not only are you preventing the body from slowing down the alcohol absorption, but you're leaving yourself in a nutrient-depleted state.
I'm not gonna get too technical for the kiddies at home that need this broken down in baby steps, so lets get straight to it.
Step:
1) Fumble with the keys to get the front door open. Stagger inside and aggressively kick off your shoes in whatever direction you please.
2) Fling the bathroom door open and whip your shit out. Piss, flush, and then turn towards the mirror and lean forward, making sure to get within an inch from the glass so you can see how fucking bloodshot your eyes are. Fuck washing your hands, you have more important matters to attend to.
3) Walk into the main room of your house, apartment, and strip down to your skivvies. Trust me, this will make everything easier from here on out. If it happens to be cold, find a towel or some shit and wrap yourself up. Shirts and pants are bullshit.
4) Open the fridge, find something to eat, and pound it. Personally, I always keep a tray of pre-cooked wings ready to go for when I get home. In your case, there may be leftovers, deli meat, or even raw ingredients. The bottom line is this, once you open that fridge door, it is time to feed. Fuck cooking anything. Fuck getting utensils. Eat that peanut butter with your finger if you have to. The only way to stop your body from making acetaldehyde is to pound the food as soon as the fridge door opens. Stopping to cook anything is pussy shit, and amplifies your hangover x 100. After you eat, pound the water.
5) Stumble up the stairs, making sure leave your clothes in a heaping pile in the middle of the floor, because there's no time to straighten up when you're blitzed.
6) Strip down to the bone, piss again even if you don't have to, and crash down onto your bed FACE DOWN. This part is important to facilitate the absorption of the vitamins and minerals from the cold wings and peanut butter you just pounded with your filthy fingers. Getting under the covers is optional. Make sure your blinds are closed before you crash so you don't have to wake up until late afternoon the next day.
VOILA! No hangover! This shit never fails. One day I'll start charging for advice.
If you wanna be pro, and know what's good, you'll listen to the man who knows from experience. Look, you're gonna do what you're gonna do, and you're not gonna give a fuck about anything or anyone but yourself. BUT, the second you wake up the next morning, and you feel that hangover taking over, you'll fall from the top of the mountain to the bottom of the fucking river. Don't drown, man. Suck it up and admit you want my help. I got you.
There's several steps. First things first, you need to satisfy your appetite. If you go out and drink heavily, then stagger home and immediately pass out, you're a fucking idiot. Not only are you preventing the body from slowing down the alcohol absorption, but you're leaving yourself in a nutrient-depleted state.
I'm not gonna get too technical for the kiddies at home that need this broken down in baby steps, so lets get straight to it.
Step:
1) Fumble with the keys to get the front door open. Stagger inside and aggressively kick off your shoes in whatever direction you please.
2) Fling the bathroom door open and whip your shit out. Piss, flush, and then turn towards the mirror and lean forward, making sure to get within an inch from the glass so you can see how fucking bloodshot your eyes are. Fuck washing your hands, you have more important matters to attend to.
3) Walk into the main room of your house, apartment, and strip down to your skivvies. Trust me, this will make everything easier from here on out. If it happens to be cold, find a towel or some shit and wrap yourself up. Shirts and pants are bullshit.
4) Open the fridge, find something to eat, and pound it. Personally, I always keep a tray of pre-cooked wings ready to go for when I get home. In your case, there may be leftovers, deli meat, or even raw ingredients. The bottom line is this, once you open that fridge door, it is time to feed. Fuck cooking anything. Fuck getting utensils. Eat that peanut butter with your finger if you have to. The only way to stop your body from making acetaldehyde is to pound the food as soon as the fridge door opens. Stopping to cook anything is pussy shit, and amplifies your hangover x 100. After you eat, pound the water.
5) Stumble up the stairs, making sure leave your clothes in a heaping pile in the middle of the floor, because there's no time to straighten up when you're blitzed.
6) Strip down to the bone, piss again even if you don't have to, and crash down onto your bed FACE DOWN. This part is important to facilitate the absorption of the vitamins and minerals from the cold wings and peanut butter you just pounded with your filthy fingers. Getting under the covers is optional. Make sure your blinds are closed before you crash so you don't have to wake up until late afternoon the next day.
VOILA! No hangover! This shit never fails. One day I'll start charging for advice.
sadaiyappan
Member
I think I need to call up one of my cousins and ask him how many of his relatives and members of his community his family has killed off.
brianjones
Member
blessed by docpan? fuck yeah
i feel like all my hours spent drunk have been validated
i feel like all my hours spent drunk have been validated
Aquavelvaman
Banned
I was riding around on my bike a few minutes ago and I saw a g35 flipped entirely over on campus at my university. I was there before the cops or anyone got there. There was no one in the car or around it at all. It was pretty weird.
Don't drink and drive I guess
Don't drink and drive I guess
To Far Away Times
Member
Pounded a few beers tonight, maybe a few more before I go to bed. Feels good man.
6 Cans of local beer. 6 Whisky Sours plus about 5 shots of B52. Plus... in the loungue/bar I was, boxer Miguel Cotto was making a nice drunk show dancing, paying drinks, etc. Was a very nice addition to the night honestly. This + hanging out with pals and girls made for one blast of a night.
At the end, and I must say this is kinda like a confession since I felt really irresponsible, I had to drive about 65 miles to get to my house with everyone in the car. It did get out of hand, and I waited about 1 hour before driving while drinking loads of water. I am pretty damn sure no one else could drive the goddamned car. Still I manned up and used cruise control to keep a consant velocity and used all my goddamned power to get everyone home safely. I am not doing this shit ever again goddammit =/. I had 6 lives inside the car, everyone far from home, and everyone, and I mean literally everyone, dropped down drunk and sleeping. First time I ever have to go through this and it sucks. Thankfully it was 4AM and the road was empty.
So after that little confessional and only sleeping 3 hours, my creative juices are flowing and I am writing shit for a paper. Still... it was a GREAT night.
Fuck yeah.
At the end, and I must say this is kinda like a confession since I felt really irresponsible, I had to drive about 65 miles to get to my house with everyone in the car. It did get out of hand, and I waited about 1 hour before driving while drinking loads of water. I am pretty damn sure no one else could drive the goddamned car. Still I manned up and used cruise control to keep a consant velocity and used all my goddamned power to get everyone home safely. I am not doing this shit ever again goddammit =/. I had 6 lives inside the car, everyone far from home, and everyone, and I mean literally everyone, dropped down drunk and sleeping. First time I ever have to go through this and it sucks. Thankfully it was 4AM and the road was empty.
So after that little confessional and only sleeping 3 hours, my creative juices are flowing and I am writing shit for a paper. Still... it was a GREAT night.
Fuck yeah.
Relix said:
Man you drunk drove ? , Don't worry about it just be glad the police never caught up to your ass, Your situation sounded like a cash I'm drunk what the fuck do i do situation, This is why i love drinking, every night on the shit can take you a through alot of loops and paths you would never take in a sober self-state.
I my self am doing some Pre-game joy, then heading to a rough sports club just outside town, I expect a complete drug den death pit lmfao
Life never has a complete path
LabouredSubterfuge
Member
<3 docpan
a posh hammer
Member
Docpan just made my day
MWS Natural
Member
Self quote for such an awesome weekend.MWS Natural said:
lawblob said:Anyone drinking tonight?
In about an hour I will be pouring myself a grotesquely large glass of whiskey and firing up LA NOIRE. Seems appropriate for the game.
I read peoples facial animations better when I'm drunk, lol.... at least I think so.............
I decided it was a fine night in Columbus, Ohio to take my dog out and throw the ball w/ her street. We both survived, haha.
lawblob said:Anyone drinking tonight?
In about an hour I will be pouring myself a grotesquely large glass of whiskey and firing up LA NOIRE. Seems appropriate for the game.
I'm drinking huge oil cans of fosters.
It's terrible. Some of the worst beer I've ever had. It's so acidic, my throat feels lacerated.
brianjones
Member
i tried that new jack daniels honey last night.. pretty good stuff.. very smooth
i kind of got sick of it after a whole bottle though lol
it's very carmely
i kind of got sick of it after a whole bottle though lol
it's very carmely
brianjones said:
ooo i wanna try that. sweet alcohol is hard to take in huge doses though, by the time i get to the end of a sambuca bottle or something i've usually had enough
overcast: most kids buy the cheapest stuff, so yeah. but towards the end people usually figure out their tastes and start trying better quality
goldlion054
Member
Relix said:
You saw Miguel Cotto that night. All is forgiven because you let me live vicariously through you at that time. Thanks bro!
I'm just back from a bar in town and from that bar i was speaking to some american-collage-tour fellas, and godam these guys were chilling party wild up for a good time fellas
I can now speak happily of american fellas
you americans are awsome and use like us scottish happy fellas sitting at the table
even got bought a drink
american > canadians !
I can now speak happily of american fellas
you americans are awsome and use like us scottish happy fellas sitting at the table
even got bought a drink
american > canadians !
I was just talking to gaffer Infinitate nINe, I feel like that's spelled wrong, but I was tellin him how I'm getting totally drunk, and that my wife and her g/f are over and how her g/f admitted to met that she's totally attracted to my wife.. long story short - I gave them both acohol but all they are doin right now is talkign! dammit , make out or something! anyways, it appears taht 5 beers ie enough to make me hard of typing...
DRUNKG AF!! what up
DRUNKG AF!! what up
Same here, wtf??? I was gonna go to my old bar tonight after work but it was closed. Been feeling depressed as shit to all day. Drinking 3 cups of coffee and a Red Bull didnt help either. So far I had 3 glasses of coke and rum, doing my laundry in the process and feeling buzzed rite now. I need to find a girl, its been almost to years since I've gotten laid and the last girl I bang for like 10 seconds was the town whore for which I've been ashamed of ever since.ATF487 said:
i am too bro
o/
Gaf, make me happy rite now please.
RiccochetJ
Gold Member
Huh, alcohol makes me feel the opposite after a stressful day. I'm feeling awesome at the moment and can take on the world! Tomorrow morning however...ShdwDrake said:
ATF487 said:
Well I dont thinkits going to happen, cuz they aren't drinking any more. mosstly due to the fact that the conversation between them is getting really focused on relationships and shit, but thanks bro. Guess I'll ust drink some more, but it's fun knowing my wifes best friend is ferociously sexually attracted to my wife. She sent me text messages about how she thought she looked so good in hernew outfit. Man.... man, does she know what shes doing to me when she does that? women are so evil man, im tellin you.
THE NO LIFE KING said:Same here, wtf??? I was gonna go to my old bar tonight after work but it was closed. Been feeling depressed as shit to all day. Drinking 3 cups of coffee and a Red Bull didnt help either. So far I had 3 glasses of coke and rum, doing my laundry in the process and feeling buzzed rite now. I need to find a girl, its been almost to years since I've gotten laid and the last girl I bang for like 10 seconds was the town whore for I've been ashamed of ever since.
real talk: having a woman can be fantastic, but you need to have a satisfying life outside of that. be happy on your own terms first, then worry about biddies.
dang, they're stupid bloody teases! they need to put up or shut up
drinking more is a good idea though, it's served me well over time
Kentpaul said:Bottle of this.
15 proof.
Can of this
2 of these
I'm Starting to feel that feeling i fucking love, Its the tip of an joy iceberg, I'm glad to be back guys
Whats everyone drinking today/tonight.
Wow, buckfast and tennants super ........... how do you drink that piss?
Alcoholics and park bench dweller special that stuff is, poisonous stuff.
Alcohol is alcohol man, alcoholics probably drink every drink in this thread.. and its not like a 400 pound bottle of whiskey is better for the health than a 1.20 pound can of super shit
Plus i wanted to just get wasted for the least amount of money, my usual beer is stella.
currently suffering from a hang over from hell cause of Buffalo trace.. goddam that shit is nice
Plus i wanted to just get wasted for the least amount of money, my usual beer is stella.
currently suffering from a hang over from hell cause of Buffalo trace.. goddam that shit is nice
RiccochetJ
Gold Member
Weeeeee!
If the world is going to end tomorrow, I'm going to make sure that I'm right properly annoyed with a hangover. Kinda figure I will be out on my patio with a Beer and Clam when it happens.
If the world is going to end tomorrow, I'm going to make sure that I'm right properly annoyed with a hangover. Kinda figure I will be out on my patio with a Beer and Clam when it happens.
J-Roderton
Member
Drinking quite a bit of beer right now. Just went back to playing Gears of War 1 online tonight. Should be interesting.
Harry Potter
Banned
A gin and tonic before the end of the world never tasted better.
Max Armstrong
Member
Harry Potter said:
CitizenCope
Member
Another shitty day weather wise here in New England, so after going to a 16th birthday party filled with memosas(sp?) I'm settling in with a cigar and some vodka while the wife goes to a wedding shower.lololololol So glad I don't have a vag and have to attend that shit.
I'm dressed for the weather and will be spending the next few hours surfing GAF by the firepit and most likely getting into some LA Noire by the end of the afternoon. Heck yeah!
I'm dressed for the weather and will be spending the next few hours surfing GAF by the firepit and most likely getting into some LA Noire by the end of the afternoon. Heck yeah!
MWS Natural
Member
4LOCO mixed with two shots of Vodka = bad combination. I never even made it out the house to go out last night.
- Status