Pretty drunk right now. Reocovering slowly with some Unprofessional Fridays via Giant Bomb. Met a nice girl tonight with similar tastes in horror games tonight, Seeing It Follows with her tomorrow. However, she is a lesbian. Dissapointed, I suppose. But she's kind, and I appreciate having a friend whom shares the same appreciation of horror filmmaking as me.
A loud noise on UPF just happened. Burning film, it was. Scared me more than expected, My soul is shaken, unexpectedly. A Smores Poptart sits in front of me. I plan on small bites for however much of the evening remains, It's sweet. Not as delicious as the "The Tonight Dough" Ben & Jerry's Ice Cfeam as I bought earlier, though, But I didn't want to fall asleep and leave that ice cream to melt.
My job leaves me in conflict. I work at the University of Oregon Rec Center, a gym so advanced and plumped with Nike cash that we display standard-def content on the 50+ foot screen overllooking the atrium. Yet, I am not fit. I enjoy the finer things in life. Safeway Chicken Strrps. Pabpts Blue Ribbon. Dank sandwhiches from Cheba Hut. Sometimes I worry that my coworkers judge me for not being as physically fit as them. But I am confident that I am more happy.
Life has been challenging, though from the perspective of a straight white male in America, maybe that voice is silent. Yet still, I feel anquish. Awkward motions control me, occasionally. A girl a work who I admire, sees me as little more than an ally. It is awkward, then. Today I wrote a report of a man who would break personal space, hugging a woman without concent. A man who looks like Pete Davidson x the guy from Lost is on Giatnt Bomb. I am disoriented. Sometimes I see myself as an awkward man who hugs. But life is thus cruel.
A new bite of poptart brings new flavor. Graham and marshmallow overwhelm me. It's so good. I adore America, and what it stands for. But we know, as Dan Ryckert says, the cheese must meet the Oreo. Barack Obama has gone grey, without his own knowledge. If I were to grey my here, would I be admired? Chris Gore, the one guy who one American Idol, they were heroes. If I was also grey, could I get that same passion applied to me?
Bite #untellible. State of Emergency is the same. The effect of so many PBRs dulls. I lack regrets. Maybe another post after this. Maybe not.