Drunk thread

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Does anyone else wake up really early whenever they drink the night prior? This is a common thing for me.

Woke up at 4 this mornin'.
 
I saw this girl I used to know again last night and realized that I think she's really cute. If I wasn't with my GF at the time and also if my life wasn't a total disaster I would ask her out. She's max level cute TBH has a smile that makes me weak. Just wish I could remember her name.

My kitten is trying to kill me. He's literally beating the shit out of me rn for now reason, just laying here. i'm literally bleeding thx to him. Now he's climbing up the screen window like a psychopath
 
Found her. My future wife. 💆 Gonna get mryd then I'm gonna tlk to hr abt adopting Copernicus. He will be our son, I'll teach him abt life and hw to be a man. Almst 1PM and still feeling a little drunk. Lst thing I rmbr was being wasted and trying to explain the plot of Game of Thrones to some1. 👑🍷🔪
 
My kitten is my best friend and fave cat ever. 🐈💖

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I thought the hollandaise sauce would be hard but it was pretty straight forward. I'm going to attempt to make a beef wellington tomorrow night.
 
j2 whats for dinner tonight

i need some ideas

Pupusas. Just picked them up from the Pupuseria. I'm about to freak out and lose my shit though. Haven't eaten and just all around aggro. Whenever I have rage fantasies about pulling eyeballs out I figure its time to take a step back and realize I need to eat IMO.
 
dude in a car pulled a gun on me yesterday

he stopped as if asking for directions, and when I got near he just pulled a gun and said run away, and I did

I was drunk and lost in a weird part of town. Ended up spending a lot of money on a cab

shit sucked
 
My pants are down to my kneesvand Ive been holding my dick for five minutes with a kleenex wrapped around it. Wstched a good porn ansd I eonder if somebody took a photo right now

I need a smoke
 
For a total of sixteen times divided. Me and us three left over to divvy up the results. We all got guns but only one of 'ems got a bullet in it. We're all scared to pull the triggers so maybe it doesn't even happen that way anyway. Maybe just all clicks till one pops off, not likely it hits any of us. We'll all just sit in different parts of the house and pull the triggers click click click click click
 
there's bound to be a ghost at the back of your closet no matter where you live .
there will always be a few things maybe several things that yr gonna find very difficult
to forgive.

theres gonna come a day when you feel better
your eyes are free and easy on that day.
and float from branch to branch
lighter than the air
just when that day is coming? who can say?

im gonna bribe all the officials.
im gonna kill all the judges.
its gonna take you people YEARS to recover from all of the damage.
 
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