aaaaaaaaaaaaaand it's back THE MUMMY 2017 MOVIE REVIEW - Double Toasted Review
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Early 'The Mummy' reviews, "Dark Universe is dead on arrival"
- Thread starter LordOfLore
- Start date
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
Yeah, they pulled it and then re-uploaded a few minutes ago. https://youtu.be/ZvSXlmAUH88 should work.
Type The Mummy Trailer 3 into YouTube. That one spoils it.
brandonh83
Banned
Jesus Christ that was *BAD*
NealMcCauley
Member
I thought there were a few decent scenes or ideas, but holy moly nothing worked together.
The tone and pacing were terrible. Constant battle between horror and comedy (holy shit the comedy barely works) that's baffling to watch. Direction where it's clear the second unit was doing a better job.
Six writers. Three editors.
Just... this is pretty much BvS's problems condensed into 110 minutes.
Admittedly I liked the look of the movie and some of the action was good. I ended up enjoying looking for Universal monster/horror homages too.
More_Badass
Member
He didn't pick up this movie series from anyone. It isn't connected or related to the Fraiser series, besides the fact that they're both loosely inspired by the original Mummy
How is one to know this when seeing the previews? Looks like another Mummy movie to most people and is after the Fraiser ones. To know or not know it is not related or a sequal, it still begs the question is this the first time Cruise has done this? Seemed like an odd choice.
More_Badass
Member
Same way people know all movies with the title Dracula aren't all in the same series, Or both Wolfman movies. And so on.
The Mummy has had like four versions/series throughout history.
Elitist1945
Member
I howl'd.
brandonh83
Banned
Yeah, what most consider the "original" is far from it, the Fraser movies were just the first to the summer blockbuster punch and were fairly enjoyable so many latch onto that when those aren't anything like the actual source material.
But hell, I get it and those are way better than this. Even Dragon Emperor is more fun.
Razgriz-Specter
Member
Yup.
I did see the original long before the Fraser ones, but the Fraser ones are what stuck with me.
WrenchNinja
Member
That first Fraser Mummy was so good.
You're gonna get yours, Beni!
You're gonna get yours, Beni!
Dr Duncan Steel
Member
Does Jake Johnson survive?
Really wanted that guy to have a meaningful film career once New Girl ends.
Really wanted that guy to have a meaningful film career once New Girl ends.
He dies and is a spirit/hallucination/curse to Tom Cruise for most of the movie, and then he is resurrected at the end with a super throwaway line.
This. Felt the exact same way.
He's in this? Damn it. I don't like Cruise, but I might be tempted to see this on a cheaper day just to see Johnson in a major role.
ScientificPizza
Banned
I think the Dark Universe is an interesting concept but I always thought The Mummy conceptually was both a bad movie and the worst possible way to launch the shared universe
thehypocrite
Member
Roommates said it's one of the worst movies they have ever seen. I'll wait for Netflix.
Maybe Van Helsing works freelance.
Zelenogorsk
Banned
I just watched the Kermode and What the Flick reviews and they were not positive. Gonna wait for streaming.
I would say it's definitely not that bad, personally speaking, but it does have a whole load of problems. But if you want to see it, definitely give it a shot! Make sure you don't see it in 3D, there's a LOT of dark shots.
I went to the movie yesterday. Maybe because it was after a long day of work, and I went there with lots of friends, but it was....surprisingly fun?
The movie itself was very aimless and pointless and basically ditched whatever they're trying to do halfway because they're making this Dark Universe. There are funny moments where the theater laughed, but I don't know whether those moments were intended funny or not.
The movie itself was very aimless and pointless and basically ditched whatever they're trying to do halfway because they're making this Dark Universe. There are funny moments where the theater laughed, but I don't know whether those moments were intended funny or not.
NotTheGuyYouKill
Member
Maybe I'll get drunk and watch it, but I was really hoping they'd pull this off.
Monocle
Member
Yeah this movie was a total dud. I felt nothing, and I can usually enjoy parts of bad movies.
It wasn't even totally awful, just wholly bland. My biggest takeaways from the movie are:
- Tom Cruise was miscast
- the zombie minions that kept falling apart were kinda funny
- Russel Crowe was OK as
- Amunet's boy toy was kind of hunky for the three seconds he was onscreen
- I don't care about any of these people
- Nothing was remotely scary at all
- Tom Cruise
, and Universal wants to turn this into a franchise, WTF
People have been ragging on Alien: Covenant, but this is what a bad movie really looks like. No real craft or artistry to speak of, no standout performances, no memorable visuals, no engaging sequences, nothing interesting to ponder or speculate about. The actors couldn't even muster the energy to look scared during a violent plane crash.
Just a soulless by-the-numbers exercise in pseudo-entertainment.
It wasn't even totally awful, just wholly bland. My biggest takeaways from the movie are:
- Tom Cruise was miscast
- the zombie minions that kept falling apart were kinda funny
- Russel Crowe was OK as
Hyde, until the dumb fist fight
- I don't care about any of these people
- Nothing was remotely scary at all
- Tom Cruise
has superpowers now, and somehow magically resurrected his sidekick offscreen
People have been ragging on Alien: Covenant, but this is what a bad movie really looks like. No real craft or artistry to speak of, no standout performances, no memorable visuals, no engaging sequences, nothing interesting to ponder or speculate about. The actors couldn't even muster the energy to look scared during a violent plane crash.
Just a soulless by-the-numbers exercise in pseudo-entertainment.
Biggest-Geek-Ever
Member
I thought it was a disaster. The central relationship is about the least convincing I've seen in years, which alone is enough for me to just about write the movie off. But its sins are far worse; it exemplifies the worst of Hollywood franchise building and the plot is an nonsensical and aimless as you would expect from an Alex Kurtzman directed film.
There's a germ of an interesting idea involving Tom Cruise and Sofia Boutella's characters (who are easily the best part of this movie and do the best they can with the material), but it's just totally suffocated by all the other bullshit.... I dunno. I've seen worse films this year, but The Mummy kind of defeated me. Studios need to learn that making a coherent, good film cannot take a backseat to starting a franchise.
There's a germ of an interesting idea involving Tom Cruise and Sofia Boutella's characters (who are easily the best part of this movie and do the best they can with the material), but it's just totally suffocated by all the other bullshit.... I dunno. I've seen worse films this year, but The Mummy kind of defeated me. Studios need to learn that making a coherent, good film cannot take a backseat to starting a franchise.
Surely you jest! Their relationship bonding over a 15-second running joke, though!
HP_Wuvcraft
Banned
Mr Fraser is probably feeling pretty stoked right now.
I doubt he's that petty.
Yea, it wouldn't surprise me if he was good friends with numerous people involved in the new film. Besides, it not like residuals are going to stop or anything (if he's even still earning any).
Monocle
Member
Oh, 100% agreed. It falls completely flat. The expected beats are there but the characters weren't developed properly. There's no indication that those two have any reason to care about each other. So they
had a fling once
Film students should study The Mummy to learn how perfunctory storytelling makes common tropes fail.
Biggest-Geek-Ever
Member
That was such a weird as hell exchange. lol
That and Russel Crowe calling Tom Cruise a "young man" made it very clear this role was written for someone 20 years younger.
Monocle
Member
He is totes young, he's got muscles and a leading man's hairstyle and an exfoliation routine and everything! Doesn't look a day over 23.
Biggest-Geek-Ever
Member
I'm kind of terrified of how he's going to be written in Top Gun 2 (or Top Gun: Maverick... oh boy) now. Heh.
Maybe I'm misremembering, but I felt like M:I5 kind of embraced his age. Perhaps I am just conflating that with the fact that they never really gave his character a romantic involvement beyond his wife in the last couple films, for which I am thankful.
Is Jekyll supposed to be from Victorian times? Because then it would make sense.
EatinOlives
Member
Part of why I can't stand Cruise movies. They all feel like there's a subtext in them wherein they must present him, the actor himself, as a perpetually fit, young icon of masculinity. Combining that with his skeevy ties to Scientology and there's this creepy vibe of actor worship built into every one of the movie he starts in.
Well, (HEAVY SPOILERS)
he was left as a . (Every instance of the word god was censored here which was pretty dumb). Essentially he stabbed himself so that his soul would be consumed by the god of death. He then got the two pupil thing and killed the womummy and now has a human side and a 'monstrous' side that will probably be more explored in sequels.
Monocle
Member
Yeah, he needs to embrace the grizzled action hero thing and leave young buck roles to the young bucks. He could totally pull off a Keanu with the right script.
I don't remember how his age was presented in M:I5, but at least I know that it wasn't distracting enough to make a lasting impression.
I forgot: the best part of this movie was was Tom getting slapped down like three times in quick succession.
He got wrecked a lot, actually. But the slapping was the best.
Saw this tonight. I knew it would be bad, we were hoping it would be like the wonderful train wreck that was The Great Wall (most enjoyable movie I've seen in years). But it was just such a mess.
It had some good moments of unintentional comedy I guess (the slaps) .
What struck me was how lazy it was. So many 'wtf just happened?' moments (e.g. The jump from Iraq to London especially???). It felt like a bad cut of two or three very different movies.
For the first ~25mins I couldn't help thinking I was watching a (bad) uncharted movie. Cruise felt like he was trying so hard to be Drake, it was super weird.
The tone, pacing and cgi was so, so very ameture. Plane crash was well done though, and I liked crow's character until he transformed.
It had some good moments of unintentional comedy I guess (the slaps) .
What struck me was how lazy it was. So many 'wtf just happened?' moments (e.g. The jump from Iraq to London especially???). It felt like a bad cut of two or three very different movies.
For the first ~25mins I couldn't help thinking I was watching a (bad) uncharted movie. Cruise felt like he was trying so hard to be Drake, it was super weird.
The tone, pacing and cgi was so, so very ameture. Plane crash was well done though, and I liked crow's character until he transformed.
What did he mean by this?
Member
"Okay we need a mummy for our Monster Avengers team....but how can we make sure it's a white guy?"
-- Roberto Orci and/or Alex Kurtzman