Another funky thing would be that:
It all started when our over-heralded star, Morfeo, woke up in a imaginery desert. It was the ninth time it had happened. Feeling abundantly stunned, Morfeo deflowered a wolverine, thinking it would make him feel better (but as usual, it did not). A few unsatisfying minutes later, he realized that his beloved iPad was missing! Immediately he called his so-called friend, Fanboi. Morfeo had known Fanboi for (plus or minus) half a million years, the majority of which were eccentric ones. Fanboi was unique. He was ingenious though sometimes a little... stupid. Morfeo called him anyway, for the situation was urgent.
Fanboi picked up to a very nervous Morfeo. Fanboi calmly assured him that most spotted wolf hamsters grimace before mating, yet legless puppies usually indiscriminately sneeze *after* mating. He had no idea what that meant; he was only concerned with distracting Morfeo. Why was Fanboi trying to distract Morfeo? Because he had snuck out from Morfeo's with the iPad only two days prior. It was a curious little iPad... how could he resist?
It didn't take long before Morfeo got back to the subject at hand: his iPad. Fanboi belched. Relunctantly, Fanboi invited him over, assuring him they'd find the iPad. Morfeo grabbed his elephant and disembarked immediately. After hanging up the phone, Fanboi realized that he was in trouble. He had to find a place to hide the iPad and he had to do it skillfully. He figured that if Morfeo took the wannabe go-fast Civic, he had take at least eight minutes before Morfeo would get there. But if he took the Segway? Then Fanboi would be very screwed.
Before he could come up with any reasonable ideas, Fanboi was interrupted by four pestering mooses that were lured by his iPad. Fanboi belched; 'Not again', he thought. Feeling worried, he thoughtfully reached for his carrot and fearlessly backhanded every last one of them. Apparently this was an adequate deterrent--the discouraged critters began to scurry back toward the magical cornfield, squealing with discontent. He exhaled with relief. That's when he heard the Segway rolling up. It was Morfeo.
The end.
In other words it will not happen