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Excalibur: a NeoGAF Pathfinder Play by Post Campaign

"....And then on the Sixth Year of the War of Succession, the High Priest Lucius received word that the Armies of the Penta---..."

Thaddeus is distracted by the unexpected appearance of a shadow and turns to look.
 
Before you is an abomination, an aberration whose appearance immediately strikes disgust and disdain for its visage; drops of its slimy spit stretch to the floor from its massive maw, stench leaks from every pore, and its tentacles slither and slink freely.

















"Hi, guys!" the Otyugh greets, bouncing his weighty body upon his three stumps for legs. "Looking for food too?"
 
Leo is startled upon seeing the tentacled monster enter the temple, and jumps back to assume a fighting stance. When he sees Dreadstone speaking to it familiarly, he eases up and realizes that it's not a threat. Put at ease, he walks over to talk to the creature.

"Sorry about the rough greeting there, it's force of habit. A friend of Deadstone and the others is a friend of mine. You want food, huh? I'm sure we can convince the others to go on a picnic or something once we wrap up business with the confused girls here."

At this point, Leo gets a devious idea and a smirk crosses his face. "Say, how do you feel about jokes? I think these girls could use one final lesson before we all get out of here."
 
<Nobody seems to want to post so I hope you don't mind I go ahead and let Tiberius do what he wants to.>

Wiggling its limbs the happy monster easily complies, "Oh! I love jokes! I love ones about chickens because they make me hungry!"
 
Making sure the teenage girls still don't hear him, he says "Great! You'll love this then. All you need to do is just stand there, and occasionally wiggle around your tentacles."

Leo subtly reaches into his disguise kit while facing the Otyugh and runs thin lines of black paint down his eyes to simulate ichor. He then convulses for a second before rolling his eyes into the back of his head and turning around to face the group of teenage girls. Digging into his acting experience, he produces the most demonic sounding voice he can manage.
Code:
[url=http://roll.coyotecode.net/lookup.php?rollid=69134]Perform (Oratory): 1D20 + 17 = [7]+17 = 24
[/url]
"The time of reckoning is at hand, worms! Our arrival upon your coven is of no coincidence. I am Dhar'Than'Vuul'Mok, scion of the abyssal lord you see before you." He says this while motioning to the happy Otyugh. "You have shown yourselves loyal to the forces of evil, but are you worthy? Only one of you shall be taken into the abyss. The rest of you shall be forever spurned, doomed to live a life of inadequacy. We shall begin your testing at once. Everyone against the wall!"

Tiberious paces down the line of teenage girls, giving each one a deathly stare. "You maggots are the most pitiful stock of tributes I've seen in centuries. I've seen babies with more potential than you lot!" Stopping in front of one particularly nervous looking girl, he starts shouting in her face. "You're scum! You're nothing! You think you have what it takes to be dragged into the abyss? Don't make me laugh! You! Are! Pathetic! Drop and give me 20!"

Going back into his pacing, he elaborates on the first trial. "You want to show me you're worthy? Each of you will take a turn explaining why you think you should be chosen, and you will do so while talking backwards! We're going to start with... YOU!" Tiberious points at a random girl on the left side of the line and gets in her face, awaiting her backwards answer.
 
While the Otyugh is giggling and exasperated in laughter despite not really understanding the 'joke', the girls look between each other. One says, "These people are worse than our parents! I'm going home!" Another goes, "I'd rather get whipped by my father than to do push ups! I'm leaving too!"

The girl most invested in her horror fantasies remains, glaring daggers at the party as her friends leave, "I will put a curse upon yourselves and your children! I will call upon the dark arts to make your every breath miserable and dying!" She trots off angrily.

So pleased with how the joke went, the Otyugh gleefully says, "You make great jokes! You make me happy! I'll give you this thing I found!" It hocks from its throat, launching a treasure chest from within it. It lands with a crash at your feet, shattering into a pool of riches.
 
As the girls flood out of the temple, Leo admires his work. "That went better than expected."

He goes from pleased to amazed when the otyugh vomits up a treasure chest, and begins clapping excitedly. "That went way better than expected! That's awesome! You're awesome! We're friends forever now!" Leo soon gets as excited as the Otyugh, merrily bouncing around the temple with it.
 
((I've been on an airplane all day. Finally made it back home! I got about 50 pages into The Lies of Locke Lamora before some unfortunate distractions on the plane made it impossible to read effectively. Glad to be home now))

Thaddeus can only watch in stupefaction as Leo joins forces with a tentacled monstrosity to somehow, in a roundabout way, discipline the misguided youths.

"I didn't get to finish my story..." he says in disappointment. "I suppose we ought to collect the treasures...? Would anyone be willing to, ah, stick their hands into that and take an inventory?" He frowns at the bile-covered treasures.
 

Mike M

Nick N
Dreadstone's eyes widen at the sight of the friendly monster's gift. "That's... Right generous of you, friend."

In truth it's clearly overgenerous, but a soldier will never complain about having too many resources to get the job done.

Speaking of which...

"I think our job here is done just as soon as we tell the folk back in the village what these fool girls have been up to, what with their..."

His voice trails off as a thought occurs to him. Turning to the girls, he asks, "Which one of you was doin' that funny business in the school buildin'?"

((I've been on an airplane all day. Finally made it back home! I got about 50 pages into The Lies of Locke Lamora before some unfortunate distractions on the plane made it impossible to read effectively. Glad to be home now))
((Let me know what you think when you finish : )))
 

Mike M

Nick N
"Hmmm..." Dreadstone mutters as he rubs his face. "I'll let that one slide. Guess maybe we're a few pieces short for that particular puzzle."
 
Later that night, the village is filled with the cries of the folk upset at the trauma they were put through, not hesitant to scold for misconduct that had happened. The treasure you had gathered will amount to a fine amount at a pawn shop for certain, making it a miracle that the Otyugh managed to find it.

You hear Aug Dortumn's voice, now in possession of an item that lets him send messages, "Well, that was a misuse of your talents. At least you got a hefty treasure from it. Come on home, they say they're ready to make Thaddeus appear elven."

<You get 50K gold worth of treasure.>








Also, a quick survey of the town reveals that nobody knows any 'Elan' person whatsoever.
 

Mike M

Nick N
((For being an aborted plot line, I think the fucked up slumber party and return of Otyguh worked out pretty well.))

Dreadstone pulls out his journal and scribbles the relevant details of this escapade upon its pages. "Need to remember to ask 'bout this 'Elan' when we get back. The kidnappin' may've been bunk, but there was someone here messin' with us all the same..."
 
<Thanks. I still wish I could've went with the original plan since it was so important but I need to play off of how my players are reacting to stuff sometimes.>
 
Thaddeus takes a moment to process this news. "Dispose of my Drow lineage? I hadn't thought it possible..."

He trails off from there, lost within himself as he considers the implications of such a procedure. This continues throughout the trek back to the Bay, though he will at least respond if directly addressed.
 
<I'm gonna move on, if anybody wants to make a comment before Emerald Bay, just assume it happens prior to the upcoming post. Also, sorry if most of the roleplay has just been me driving things along, I think I ran out of things for you to react to for the time being.>

You wheel into Emerald Bay once more. It is finally now the weather is becoming a pleasant chill, with green and blue sky making its way to the world once more. News of the sea side waters opening spreads, drawing people to see the sparkling green-tinted waters the Bay is famous for. Other news is spread, signs and flyers for Lovegood's upcoming spring time concert kindle excitement for the great event.

<Okay, so now is a time for everyone to find something you can do to roleplay during the bit of downtime while Thaddeus will (I assume) allow his magical disguise to take place. If you need help coming up with something or just don't feel like roleplaying, just let me know.>
 
((I can roleplay out the purchase of a weapon in a little bit (different than the bartering cape of course). Other than that, I don't have any particular ideas at the moment.))
 
Near the campus is a street set comfortable within the large, varied city. Buildings here nearly defy the appearance of the rest of the city, appearing classic and homely, and displaying timeless wares along the well polished windows therein: musical instruments, well groomed flower beds, antiquated furnishings.

The little shop sought, however, is made known by a large wooden sign that features a burned in logo of a sword set aflame, and below it similar care given to the shop's title, "The Martial Mystics." Making loud hollow steps onto the patio of the front door, you pause before opening to read a parchment stuck to the door's window by clay: "I already know about this Moonfey nonsense! Stop acting as if there weren't gods before the old gods. Go to a bar and sing about it for all I care!" Knowing that you aren't bards of Muunfae, you pay this no mind and enter anyway.

You step into very warm reddish and brown colors, a lobby meant to feel comfortable. A chair behind a desk turn towards you, revealing a robed man holding a smoking pipe. With a genuinely surprised beaming grin, the man releases a breath of green mist in front of him, which Draco would be very aware is an alchemy drug formulated to draw upon sensations; it is more powerful than simple tobacco. The man's voice is loud and direct as he addresses those that come in, "It's rare to see a pile of customers to browse my wares." The wrinkling in the man's face are not bothered to be hidden, nor the wisping in his graying, thinning hair. He glances between the two, sipping on the tail of his pipe while scrunching his forehead with brows raised. He determines, "I see one of you has a fine eye for swords, and the other..." he gets up and walks to Tiberius, scouting around him to look at the vast array of weapons he has, "doesn't know quality when he sees it. You look like you've picked out every weapon you can think of but never a one that you can say is your friend... I don't even see anything that could constitute as magical. Come! We need to find you a weapon that you will stick with and learn to appreciate. What is it you are looking for?"
 
Tiberious ignores the green smoke, due to a combination of not being concerned and having no idea of what it is. After hearing the old man's analysis, he lets out a hearty laugh. "Looks like you've got me figured out. I've always been a man that values quantity in his weaponry. You did overlook one thing though." At this point, Tiberious reaches for his many weapons, produces the lance, and places it down on the counter.

"If this didn't come off as magical to you, you're slipping. Then again, maybe you knew I wasn't feeling this one. A lance just doesn't chime well with how I approach combat, so it would do me more good selling it and getting a weapon of true quality than holding on to it."

Tiberious then stands up rigidly and looks intently towards the merchant. "Now, let's see if we can add some quality to my weaponry. You know what? I think I know exactly what would suit me best. I want a falcata. Not just any falcata, mind you, but one honed through magic to be stronger and have a sharper edge than their already sharp blades. Do you think you have anything like that?"

((I'm trying to buy a +2 keen falcata, which should go for 16,216 gold after the discount is applied. I have just enough to buy it without selling the lance, but I figured I'd go ahead and do that too.))
 
Glancing at the stabbing weapon, he says, "Of course it didn't come off as magical. That weapon is decorative. Nobody buys a lance these days to be an adventurer; they're weapons you buy on the cheap and feed to an army. In fact I would say the only reason to ever have a lance like that is to hold on to something of value and you found it as loot. Well, I'm not buying that lance, because then I would have to sell it again and nobody buys magical lances."

"A falcata is it? I suppose I may have one in stock from an import but it is not a common weapon to buy." Turning to Draco he asks, "What about you? What in particular are you looking for?"
 
Draco pulls out two scimitars, "I'm here to sell these, a +1 mithral scimitar and the jagged ghost blade... its just a scimitar with ghost touch((just to be sure, its just ghost touch with no +1 correct?)). And I'd like to replace them with a +2 mithral scimitar, if you've got one... While I'm here though, do you have any hand crossbows?"
 
<Yeah, +0 Ghost Touch.>

"I do have magic made crossbows, yes. In fact one of my most beloved creations in the past decade was a bow. Very well then, we have a selection of curved weaponry for the both of you."

He leads you to the back, where various glass cases and wooden cabinets display weapons proudly. He takes you to an aisle where various curved swords are on display. He points to a single one, identified by its wide shape and concave edge, "This I believe is your falcata. I don't even know how you have heard of these things," holding out his hands to make a wide space between them, he demonstrates the particular curve by pushing one of his hands towards the other slowly, matching the slope the blade takes, "but the blade is particularly designed to curve inward then sharply curve out, which distributes weight towards the end of the sword to add impact to your hits. Its distinguishing feature from other similarly designed weapons is the handle which is shaped like a hook, which is often the most ornately designed part of the weapon and also where the maker of this weapon put the magical enchantment to add power. And yes, the blade has added sharpness just as you asked."

Looking to Draco, he points to a higher shelf where there are scimitars with a distinct coloration to their metals different from the others, "Those are our Mythril Scimitars, pick a magical enhancement suited to your budget out of those."

Once the two are done, he will take Draco to look at the crossbows.
 
Tiberious gives the falcata a quick looking over while the merchant explains what it is and expresses surprise at Tiberious knowing what one is. "Not a common thing around here, huh? I hail from another land myself, and my training has given me a fondness for less orthodox weapons. Anyway, this is exactly what I was looking for. Once my friend here has everything he needs, I'll buy it."
 
He addresses Tiberius' wonder on the subject, "Adventurer types are all about the longswords and battle axes. Weapons like that are hard to market these days."
 
"That's a real shame," Tiberious says. "There's a vast amount of weapons out there, many better than conventional long swords and battle axes. One would hope that adventurers would be more, well, adventurous."
 
"Pfft. Longswords." Draco picks up one of the mithral blade and preforms a little show, stabbing with it instead of the usual slashing motions. "Yes, this will do." He says as he begins walking towards the crossbow display.
 
Once taken to the crossbow rack, which is gapped behind a counter. The shopkeeper isn't sure what specific item the half-elf is looking for, so he simply allows him to browse for awhile.

"Once you are done meet me up front to finance the items."

<So... selling +2 Lance, the Scimitars, buying +2 Keen Falcata and a +2 Mithril Scimitar? and Draco is deciding on a (Hand) Crossbow.>
 
((Sweet, gotcha. Assuming normal 50% sell rate applies, I'm pretty sure it would go for 4005 gold, which comes out to about 1001 per person. I'll factor Tiberious's share of that when taking the 16,216 gold out of his total money for the falcata))
 
The shopkeeper thanks the two for their business, and sets aside the sold weapons to figure out what to do with them later.

<Thaddeus, do you still want to go through with an appearance transformation? If so meet in front of the collosseum.>
 
((Sorry, sorry, this week has been super crazy. I'll spare the details))

Thaddeus spends the entirety of the days-long journey in a haze as he ponders what is to come.

Despite all expectations, he feels absolutely no reluctance to shed the shackles of his purple skin. He does not know what sort of transformation lies in store for him, but whether it's a complete racial shift or simply a cosmetic alteration to his skin pigmentation, he is certain that he will enjoy the outcome.

Upon arrival in Emerald Bay, he watches as the others drift off toward the market district. Such material pursuits, at the moment, feel entirely unimportant to him now; the moment the opportunity presents itself, he makes a beeline for the coliseum and seeks out the dwarven man by the name of Dortumn.
 
That day the Dwarven officer is absent at the collosseum entrance, instead a group of men and women in scholarly uniforms are grouped to rendezvous with Thaddeus, "You are the Drow we are to transform, correct? Please come with us to the school." If allowed, they will escort the Paladin to the academy where they will be granted entrance and moving into the school building, they guide him to a classroom appointed for this moment. As they enter inside, one suggests, "If you would prefer, we have more formal attire which you can present yourself within the premises."
 
They nod and allow Thaddeus some privacy to remove his armor to be set on a nearby rack, abandoning him momentarily, whilst going to fetch some clothing. They bring back a white dress tunic which is length down to the ankles and long sleeved, and fitted with similar school decorative stitchings as the others are wearing. They then collect his armor and weapon while waiting for the Drow to dress himself up.
 
"Can you tell me about the procedure?" He says while dressing. The clothes are not the best fit on him, and he is not sure what purpose they serve, but he doesn't dare to question anything. In truth, the details don't actually concern him; he is only trying to fill the silence with conversation.
 
Once Thaddeus is ready to be explained the procedure, a mage does, "We require magic beyond what is feasable for a single wizard to cast, so we have prepared an arcane ritual which combines our offered concentration to perform a transmutation that is permanent... and accurate to what is desired. Don't be afraid, all of this is to ensure safety and success, and the spell should take no longer than an hour."

It should be apparent by now that a lot of the wizarda in the school never exceed middle aged, and the group with Thaddeua all seem like adults younger than he is.

(btw i decided to waive alignment restricted claas combos becauae why not)
 
((Oh gee I wonder where that came from... personally I never had a problem with alignment rules, but not having them doesn't really hurt me so w/e.))
 
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