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[B-B-Bomba!]

Recently I was bowled over by a girl: she just went right through me. I have never experienced an intimate relationship; nonetheless one has somehow always been my first priority in life. Perhaps I thought that understanding obtained from observing others, for example in films and books, would be adequate preparation for a direct personal relationship ...

Or perhaps not; either way I have been rudely awakened to the fact that my heart has become a weak, corn-fed sack of pus, whose abject worthlessness is only made more bitter by good looks and a sexy bearing. I have been scared, of love, all my life, subsisting on a thin gruel of half-hearted fantasies and friendly concern.

I have nothing to offer her, and last week, I had to give up even wishing I could. I simply could not sustain the glorious tumescence of my heart, and have fallen, appalled, at my own feet. I want nothing more than to act with love in my heart, but it seems to only be fit for pumping blood, and the occasional tortured gasp.

WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO?

 

[Scalemail Ted]

for her uncover thy admiration.

 

[Ill Saint]

Stop indulging, and just 'do'. You have plenty to offer.

 

[android]

Go jogging followed by some sets of situps and pushups.

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

Sounds like someone needs a good dose of Mayebelline Mascara and a contract to produce heavily manufactured contrite-filled anthems of sorrow.

 

[Ninja Scooter]

Sounds like someone needs a good dose of Mayebelline Mascara and a contract to produce heavily manufactured contrite-filled anthems of sorrow.

WHAT?

 

[Meier]

This topic made me think of the song, "Advice for the Young at Heart."

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

WHAT?

All the more reason to take my sage advice; I've been there and back, honey.

EDIT: The resemblance is truly disturbing:

I'm petitioning Fox to give us our own sitcom.

 

[NohWun]

Recently I was bowled over by a girl: she just went right through me. I have never experienced an intimate relationship; nonetheless one has somehow always been my first priority in life. Perhaps I thought that understanding obtained from observing others, for example in films and books, would be adequate preparation for a direct personal relationship ...

Nope. For this, you must learn by doing. Practice practice practice. Don't get your heart "set" on one girl; there'll be more like her down the road.

Or perhaps not; either way I have been rudely awakened to the fact that my heart has become a weak, corn-fed sack of pus, whose abject worthlessness is only made more bitter by good looks and a sexy bearing. I have been scared, of love, all my life, subsisting on a thin gruel of half-hearted fantasies and friendly concern.

Self-pity will get you nowhere. Get off your ass and exercise.

I have nothing to offer her, and last week, I had to give up even wishing I could. I simply could not sustain the glorious tumescence of my heart, and have fallen, appalled, at my own feet. I want nothing more than to act with love in my heart, but it seems to only be fit for pumping blood, and the occasional tortured gasp.

WHAT THE FUCK CAN I DO?

Stop your whining. Do what you can do; the more you try, the easier it gets. No try = no get.

 

[captmcblack]

This thread needs more gas station attendant's shirts and SCREAMING INFIDELITIES.

Also, omg sensei ur so hawt. :lol

 

[OpinionatedCyborg]

This thread needs more gas station attendant's shirts and SCREAMING INFIDELITIES.

Also, omg sensei ur so hawt. :lol

Fuck yeah. Not washing long hair unlocks natures pheremones (making one a chick magnet) and also promotes shiny, greasy hair that reflects light dangerously towards enemies.

Now whoring for attention in the pictures thread as well.

 

[demon]

more cocky&funny, next please...

 

[B-B-Bomba!]

Look, I'm really not fucking around here. I've suddenly realised I suck, and I'm determined to put an end to it. I did uncover my admiration for the girl, and I did the best damn job of it I was ever going to. But it still sucked, and it was a catastrophically wrong approach anyway for a million reasons. I'm not embarrassed by what happened, just embarrassed at my inability to play the game properly, at having lost the entire war so completely in the first skirmish.

What I want to know is, how can I make myself more emotionally resilient? I titled this thread 'exercises' for a reason: I firmly believe that the heart, like the mind and the body, is muscular in nature, and that given a healthy diet and regular exercise it can become as powerful as will can make it. Now I have the will right now, but what should I feed my heart, and where can I take it jogging? The next time I meet someone so awesome, I swear I'm going to kick her arse ...

 

[Date of Lies]

I sent u a PM

 

[RaymondCarver]

eh?

Read a literature textbook, and you'll get a grat deal of life advice.

 

[Blackie]

What I want to know is, how can I make myself more emotionally resilient?

Like Nohwun said: Practice practice practice. If you are getting bowled over by "awesome" "special" "neat-o-rific" chicks, then either you aren't getting to know the girl well enough and then coming on too strong which scares them away, or you have a crappy definition of neat-o-rific. Keep meeting interesting women, don't invest too much emotionally in them until they prove to you that they're a good match, and quit being a drama queen.

I mean godamn. Super melodrama.

 

[miyuru]

:lol is this a joke thread

 

[Drinky Crow]

Yer pompous faux-poetic sentiment would drive any woman nuts. No-one wants a needy stuffed-shirt romantic. What you think is romantic and demonstrative is often smothering and creepy. Just relax and have fun with her, and don't put any pressure on a relationship. Just say "I think yer cool, let's hang" and she'll give you the signs when she's ready to go further. Laying your heart out to her is a fucking intense blast of sudden responsibility she probably doesn't want.

"Cocky and funny" is shit, but there's a kernel of truth there as well: women DON'T want the opposite, which is "pussy and needy". Try "chill and casual" for a change. Also, flattery is nice, but it won't get you laid; it just means you have to up the ante when you move to praise her again. Keep the winking observations sporadic and irregular and she'll think she has to earn them.

 

[Boogie]

Just say "I think yer cool, let's hang"

Hey, that sounds like a great plan for making friends.

and she'll give you the signs when she's ready to go further.

...which will be never, of course.


Oh, sorry. Bitter cynicism is just a knee-jerk reaction at this point.

But yeah, holy melodrama batman. Please, tell me that you're still in high school.

 

[B-B-Bomba!]

Which is entirely the point: I'm twenty-fucking-seven. But we're getting closer here; my thanks to Drinky for the sound advice, and DoL for the PM.

I'm well aware of most of that. What's tearing me up at the moment is how little it takes to tear me up. I burst for this girl. And I am fully certain that, if I was who I always intended myself to be, if I hadn't been letting myself down so badly over all these years, then I would have been able to stand up to her - a tower resolute against the sheer force of emotion her presence exerts around me. I would have kept my footing and been able to push back, disrupt her world a little, and as powerful equals we may have had in insane future.

But that's not who I have led myself to be, and my fuse blew straight away. The only course of action I had the wit to pursue was to unburden myself all over her, and damn straight she didn't really appreciate it. I'll say it again: I need a stronger heart. And I'm not asking for advice on how to get this particular girl back, because this isn't even a love or a dating thing, at it's root. It calls into question my entire human value: to my loved ones, to my enemies, to the world. I have sunk, even from the midst of the fallen. I misjudged life, and now my foundations are shaken.

Look, one positive thing is that I do feel I have managed to use these events as a springboard. Three weeks ago I was still sinking: now at least I'm looking for some purchase. That combined state of joy and petrification, while far in excess of my capacity to handle it, has exhilarated my ragged organism, and made me determined to exercise its potential. I don't know what to do next, and naturally no-one here can really tell me: it's my world; my heart. Only I can live up to myself.

I will do anything to be able to love well, and I’m going to start, not by shooting for the moon all over again, but by reassessing and rebuilding the foundations by which I mean to do so. It may take years for me even to achieve the status of an average human being, but I sincerely cannot fucking wait. I just wanted you all to know. Thanks for being here.