Victory Gundam 33
Louise Halevvy is scientifically the worst woman in the entire Gundam Franchise. Quess Paraya? Small fries. She gets lost after 2 hours. Fa Yuiry? Redeems herself in ZZ. Lacus Clyne? Actually Haman Khan. Nena Trinity? At least she has red hair. A woman from AGE, you say? Hahaha, that's funny THERE WERE NO WOMEN IN AGE. Relena? Please, she and PMI are like, legitimately attractive women compared to this person.
I want to tell you precisely why Louise Halevvy from AGEtory Gundam is the worst woman in the entire franchise, but I'm afraid that unlike the science which proves this fact, all I will want to do is spend this time saying very, very mean things about her.
So settle for the fact that she is a fucking despicable, inane, irredeemable whoremouth whose bitchtasm is so enormous the entire universe quivers before it. Never has there been a more stomach-turningly awful woman in the franchise. She climbs her way to power by fucking the WORST FUCKING CHAR EVER CREATED (no, seriously, I will defend to the death ZEHEART GALETTE being better than Chumpicle Asser.). It cannot be because of skill BECAUSE SHE DOESN'T FUCKING HAVE ANY. You don't have skill when you get your ass handed to you EVERY SINGLE TIME. BY CHILDREN. WHO HAVE NO EXPERIENCE. It can't be because of experience, because ALL of her experience is again, getting her ass handed to her by a brat who wishes he was even half as fucking slick as Mighty Max or the kid from the fucking BK Kids Club.
Uso is so fucking uncool his name has to be said every single minute (no seriously every minute of this episode Uso's name is said.) to remind you this fucking twip is supposed to be the main character.
So the only reason Louise Halevvy has left for being promoted is because tonight she gave Chumpicle Asser anal, and that was worth the promotion to Lt. or Cpt. or whatever the fuck she is today. I presume this is the same way that Maria Armonia wound up Queen of the Zanscare because it sure as fuck was not through any political prowess of her own, let alone skill, personality, or anything like that. Unless we're all willing to agree that Blankey from the Brave Little Toaster has the gumption to rule over a brutal, fascist nation.
Nothing about the Zanscare Empire makes sense. NOTHING. "We want women to rule!" but your queen has no power. "A gentler rule!" which you enforce with a fucking guillotine. You put WHEELS ON SPACESHIPS. You promote people who lose ALL THE TIME. EVERY SINGLE DAY THEY LOSE and you STILL promote them. You build the most fucking retarded mobile armor in the history of what is scientifically referred to as the biggest fucking waste of money ever. Let's forget the fact that Mobile Armors ALWAYS fail, usually in their first sortie. Let's forget it has been that way for TWO HUNDRED YEARS. Let's forget that the sheer number and stupidity of them basically bankrupted the Zeon. Your stupid fucking Dodoge couldn't have made any sense at all from the get go because it just couldn't. It was supposed to combine and recombine and that was supposed to be its big advantage, except that the MOST BASIC of Gundam tactics beat it: slash and shoot. I mean REALLY. Did that thing even HAVE a beam-shield on it? What were you THINKING. What is anyone in this Empire EVER thinking?
What the FUCK is the Federation doing right now that these people, who honestly I'm not sure how they manage not to get their fucking dicks caught in their zippers each day, are somehow managing to CONQUER anywhere? Did the Federation just think they were so goddamn stupid that they weren't worth fighting? Is the sight of these hilariously shitty MAs so stupid that Federation soldiers are dying from laughter? Are the hopelessly incompetent generals and captains and soldiers all so pathetic that the Federation is basically letting them win out of pity?
Come the fuck on. I watched AGE. I watched 00. I watched Destiny and Stardust. To be entirely and completely honest, I don't know that I can finish AGEtory, though. I just don't. It's so bad. It's stupid in a way that even AGE could never be.
Take Shakti for example. EVERYTHING Shakti does is only done for the sake of being the stupidest thing ever done in this franchise. Like seriously, Oliver DIED and Uso's mom was kidnapped and why? Because Shakti, who had JUST been rescued, ran RIGHT THE FUCK BACK TO THE ZANSCARE. Why? WHY. There is no reason, except that Oliver had to die because he'd been in 30 episodes by that point. Nevermind that fucking random moment where Shakti just started planting trees and shit.
I can't even take satisfaction that these horrible stupid characters die brutal deaths because everyone does and it is so predictable that you can just go "Oh is the preview focusing on Connie? Welp, time for Connie to get in her fucking grave, I guess."
This whole show is if like Star Wars Episode 2 had featured just Jar Jar the whole way through. AGEtory Gundam is without a doubt one of the worst series in the entire franchise, and for Gundam, that's saying a LOT.