Frankly, gear is dramatically over-valued, just like it was in FF11 for a while. I was able to heal HM Ifrit and Garuda, AK, Wanderer's no problem in my gear. Yesterday, I came online and some people in the FC were really needing a healer for Hydra -- a fight I knew nothing about, and wasn't ready to do for my own sake by any means -- since their last one ragequit due to the number of wipes they'd had, so I joined to help out. We finished on the first try, no problems. Healing it was a cinch. Then a little later the topic of relic weapon came up and people were shocked to find that I had a level 35 weapon on and I was only in AF besides a darklight earring. My gear is definitely not good, but gear only gets you so far. Knowing how to play your class is the most important thing. Obviously gear, especially weapon, is a bit more important for a DPS class, but a player who knows how to get the maximum damage out of their skills in many situations will be able to make up for a gear deficiency in a lot of cases.
That said, I also think people get way too uppity if you die a couple of times. Especially if people don't know the fight(s). Last night I did AK with two new people, and I told them before the demon wall fight, straight up: we're most likely gonna die the first time, even after I did my best to explain what happens. It's a weird fight, and you kinda have to see it to really understand what's going on. Once they had a feel for what actually happens in the fight, we won with no problems.
