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First date out to dinner - offering to pay the whole bill - simp material?
- Thread starter Alter_Fridge
- Start date
Sygma
Member
/thread
Bunch of feminine men here over thinking shit for just about nothing. If OP is broke tell her just that and that you won't be able to do fancy outings a lot, but still can spend time with her while you're working at becoming the best version of yourself
Then you go take a coffee in a park and bang after, simple stuff
More seriously tho you seem to be fixated on the outcome. If you take her out be a gentleman, court her properly and don't expect shit outside of creating the right rapport for you to kiss her / come back to her or your place after for some heavier kind of affection
If you focus on the money you just aren't in the right game
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eot
Banned
It depends on where you are. A lot of the posters here are American and my impression is that the culture there is to pay on the first date. When I was in Japan I also did that. In other places though insisting to pay can be worse than splitting the bill, so for example in Sweden it's the cultural norm to split the bill, but dating culture in general is really different and who pays is just a tiny part of that.
Additionally, I think there are other factors that also play into it. If you take someone to a fancy place then you should pay because they might not be expecting the cost.
Additionally, I think there are other factors that also play into it. If you take someone to a fancy place then you should pay because they might not be expecting the cost.
killatopak
Member
Demand that she pays and assert your dominance.
nush
Member
Woman outraged after date refuses to pay for $180 meal
"You were really expecting me to pay? I'm not your sugar daddy."
www.newshub.co.nz
See this is a situation where it's valid not to pay because she was taking advantage. But then he undoes all of that not being taken advantage of by asking her out for another date.
I've had bad dates but I've still paid and then blocked/deleted her number and asked another woman out for a date.
S
SLoWMoTIoN
Unconfirmed Member
People are eating out in restaurants? Oh right coronavirus went away already.
Mobilemofo
Member
Quite right. I use to always let the lady pay half when taking her out.
eot
Banned
In some places it kinda did, but restaurants also have different seating limits
Flying Toaster
Member
You ask them out then you pay for the meal. Once a relationship is solidified and things are steady I find that it really doesn't matter who pays but the entire split the bill concept on first date or during the first steps of the relationship is dumb. If you are making the plans then you should be paying for said plans.
I also am a firm believer in yelling at clouds, children that play within 15 feet of my yard and assholes with campaign signs posted on their lawn.
I also am a firm believer in yelling at clouds, children that play within 15 feet of my yard and assholes with campaign signs posted on their lawn.
nush
Member
Correct, never over-invest until you have confirmation of compatibility and reciprical interest.
Dee Dah Dave
Member
Pay up on the first date, unless she insists to pay half. Most women like a bit of chivalry. The ones who don’t are probably best to avoid anyway.
Nymphae
Banned
Which is a fancy way of saying you think paying for a dinner will get her wet and want to reward you...or something. I don't get why we think about women like this. You're not Elon Musk, it's a dinner. Like I said, it's not like she's sitting there weighing whether or not to fuck you and the bill is the deciding factor. She already knows if you're getting some or you're not well before a bill is paid. It's basically irrelevant if she's into you I think, unless you're a complete wreck but then your chances weren't great to begin with lol.
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Grinchy
Banned
wtf, everytime I suggest just the tip to her, she looks disgusted
and 3 others
Banned
You either got extra cheese, or you're listening to Girth Brooks.
Grinchy
Banned
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Not really. The payment of dinner is not going to be the deciding factor unless your date is really shallow.
It's just one of the many actions that add up in the course of the date that molds the overall impression of you. All other things bring equal - it can't hurt and it'll probably help. It also adds an opportunity to further spend more time together at a later time if he or she wants to reciprocate on the bill.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
Everyone's different.
nikolino840
Member
What's the differences between a First date and a married couple for the bill?
Punished Miku
Human Rights Subscription Service
First date, the guy should probably plan on paying regardless.
Married couple, it's really just a matter of income. If income is somewhat comparable or equal, then it should be taking turns paying which is nicer than splitting each ticket each time. If one person is dramatically poorer than the other person or doesn't even work, then it's pretty obvious they aren't going to be paying.
Nymphae
Banned
I don't know how much it would positively impact their existing perception of you tbh.
Like yeah, it's a nice thing for her obviously, she saved a few bucks, but what is the messaging? I still feel like this all stems from a desire to be seen as a provider or a dutiful Real Man who does the things we're told Real Men do for women. In a situation where you both are earning for yourselves (with a good chance she earns just as much or more than you), I don't understand the rationale for one party paying.
Obviously it's not going to be a negative (although like I said one time a girl I took out seemed almost offended by me going to pay for it and offered to split - we didn't get along too well really so I think that if they're not particularly into you during the date, you paying is seen as a power or transactional move. But if they are into you, I do feel like it's basically irrelevant whether you decide to cover it or split.
Rentahamster
Rodent Whores
If, hypothetically, I run into you at Canada Cup 2023 and say, hey it's Nymphae from Canadian internet! Share a meal while waiting for our pools to start and then I pay for it, does that make you happy?
The messaging is "I am a friendly hamster who did a nice thing by purchasing dietary nourishment for you"
Of course, that depends on the person. Personally, with the kind of person you describe, I wouldn't be on a romantic date with them in the first place.
If they are already into me before dinner, then they'll probably be more into me after treating dinner. If I'm on a date, I'm not looking to fulfill the minimum requirements. I S rank every song on Dance Dance Revolution.
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Nymphae
Banned
That's not a date situation. The implicit messaging is different I think in a date. In every situation I can think of except a date, people are expected to pay their own way (unless it's like a birthday gift or something similar.) In a sense you're trying to buy a positive impression from someone you're interested in, and not only do I think that doesn't work, but that the impression is already made well before this act.
Why is that your job? She is also trying to present well and be seen as a nice person right? There is zero expectation that women act this way towards a man and men ITT laugh at the notion, but the reasoning would appear to be the same. Men need women more than they need us and we need to work harder for that would seem to be implied.
I think you are mistaken. If they are already into you before dinner, you're done lol. Not paying isn't going to turn them away. By all means, be generous if that's in your nature though.
BlitzerRadic
Member
I've always paid for everything. The only time I didnt pay was when I got surprised with tickets to a Warriors game.
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