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football thread 13/14 |ot12| last roll of the dive
- Thread starter bud
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exactly. with ferguson, i doubt it'd be much of a problem because many players would love to play under his management. with moyes, though? don't see it.
Anyone else feel like clubs who are after Pogba think they're being super sneaky and pulling one over on Juve by being interested, thinking they're going to get away with him for 20m or something like that? I mean I don't think he's leaving them at this point for anything under 40m.
PSG isn't going to sell anyone..I don't know why people keep thinking this.
Missing out on the CL for one season wouldn't be hugely detrimental to our chances of signing players. So long as we've done our homework, this summer shouldn't be a total disaster like the last.
I hope we sign at least one player though. Mid season overhaul isn't needed at all, more harm than good. But you're right... Can't see a lot of the truly world class players moving in January so summer would make more sense. I have no confidence in Woodward to be honest.
You tell us when he gets there, because here he almost never plays.
In other news, our coach seems to be making a lot of friends among our youngsters. Perfect.
IF YOU ARE EATING PLEASE DON'T READ ON!
Last Saturday night I had my usual Footy Manager session. I stay up till around 4 am after ending the season by winning everything.
I listen to some music on my headphones in bed. My 17 year old special needs step daughter comes in and announces that she has wet the bed. This happens semi regularly. I MUST ALSO POINT OUT THAT WE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE.
Ok. I put a towel over the damp patch, tuck her in, then go back to bed. 30 minutes later she comes back into my room and, whilst grinning, announces that once again she has wet the bed; cue another towel, cue another tucking in. I returned to try and get some sleep.
An hour later I hear rumblings from the other room but try and ignore them. 10 minutes later I look up to see said step daughter standing just inside my door with a bath towel in her hands. Whilst trying hard to open my poor eyes I focus on some strange marks on the towel which are definitely not part of the pattern.
She announces that this time she has pooed the bed and proceeds to let a fully formed mini frankenfurter fall from the towel onto my bedroom floor. This gets me out of bed pretty sharpish and I scoop up the offending turd with toilet paper.
I check, because I have to, if she has wiped her arse and alas, no she hasn't. I start to do it for her( I do this as little as possible normally) and my fingers pierce the paper and get smothered in rich sticky shit which considering my alcohol consumption nearly made me gag.
I clean myself up and put her in the bath and then go into her room to get rid of the soiled sheets. Unfortunately, she had already taken the sheet off before shitting the bed and she had tried to clean it off the mattress with the bath towel with just left foul smelling streaks of shit all over the mattress.
I start to clean off the mattress as best I can although it's pretty well rubbed in and start to feel hard bits. I look at the edge of the bed and realise that I have been sweeping the peanuts in her shit to the mattress edge and they are lined up along the lip of the mattress. I VERY NEARLY lose everything in my stomach but somehow manage not to.
The day after, after 3 scrub downs, it's a lost cause and I have to take the mattress outside ready for chucking. The final indignity was that it was quite thick and small stairs meant that it overpowered me and I had smelly shit stains in my face twice.
I didn't feel well the day after. This is my story. I hope you can laugh at the thing I call my life.
If you were eating I did warn you.
Last Saturday night I had my usual Footy Manager session. I stay up till around 4 am after ending the season by winning everything.
I listen to some music on my headphones in bed. My 17 year old special needs step daughter comes in and announces that she has wet the bed. This happens semi regularly. I MUST ALSO POINT OUT THAT WE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE.
Ok. I put a towel over the damp patch, tuck her in, then go back to bed. 30 minutes later she comes back into my room and, whilst grinning, announces that once again she has wet the bed; cue another towel, cue another tucking in. I returned to try and get some sleep.
An hour later I hear rumblings from the other room but try and ignore them. 10 minutes later I look up to see said step daughter standing just inside my door with a bath towel in her hands. Whilst trying hard to open my poor eyes I focus on some strange marks on the towel which are definitely not part of the pattern.
She announces that this time she has pooed the bed and proceeds to let a fully formed mini frankenfurter fall from the towel onto my bedroom floor. This gets me out of bed pretty sharpish and I scoop up the offending turd with toilet paper.
I check, because I have to, if she has wiped her arse and alas, no she hasn't. I start to do it for her( I do this as little as possible normally) and my fingers pierce the paper and get smothered in rich sticky shit which considering my alcohol consumption nearly made me gag.
I clean myself up and put her in the bath and then go into her room to get rid of the soiled sheets. Unfortunately, she had already taken the sheet off before shitting the bed and she had tried to clean it off the mattress with the bath towel with just left foul smelling streaks of shit all over the mattress.
I start to clean off the mattress as best I can although it's pretty well rubbed in and start to feel hard bits. I look at the edge of the bed and realise that I have been sweeping the peanuts in her shit to the mattress edge and they are lined up along the lip of the mattress. I VERY NEARLY lose everything in my stomach but somehow manage not to.
The day after, after 3 scrub downs, it's a lost cause and I have to take the mattress outside ready for chucking. The final indignity was that it was quite thick and small stairs meant that it overpowered me and I had smelly shit stains in my face twice.
I didn't feel well the day after. This is my story. I hope you can laugh at the thing I call my life.
If you were eating I did warn you.
What I want to know is why half their team it seems like is in the last year of their contract.
FootballFan
Member
OMG NOAL
We're kinda desperate for points. I'd like United to play for a draw, but moyes is gonna go all out I think. Mourinhio isn't likely to lose at home. So I guess, we're going to fall even further behind.
Baconsaurus Rex
Member
OH GOD NO
FootballFan
Member
I want to tell you, I might as well do
About two boys that can't stay on their feet
One's called Ashley, the other Adnan
AND THEY DIVE AND THEY DIVE AND THEY DIVE
About two boys that can't stay on their feet
One's called Ashley, the other Adnan
AND THEY DIVE AND THEY DIVE AND THEY DIVE
Got one coming from Amazon, cheers.
Peanut shit
FootballFan
Member
Linius pls just read it, it's a good read. lol
Exactly.
Agreed. I have the worst gag reflex in the world when it comes to turds. I would have thrown up all of my internal organs and still be going.
You have my upmost respect sir.
mattacular
Banned
No one lives in Stoke it's a dive. They all live in Cheshire and drive in (and out as quickly as possible).
Baconsaurus Rex
Member
Better than peanut butter at least
FootballFan
Member
I literally just had nutella on toast before reading that. lol
Sviatoslav
Member
Wait. United are going to be without Rooney, RVP and Evra versus Chelsea?
Fuck.
One of those isn't like the others.
No. 35 but the missus is 46 and looks and acts younger than me. It's her daughter from her previous relationship.
At least it's true love if you go trough all of this for her. In it's own way you can look at it as a sweet story. But don't tell it during dinner parties.
mattacular
Banned
Work as a HCA for a while you will soon get used to it.
pulga
Banned
pls, the jig is up, all we need to figure out now is who's the youngest: bacon or ff
We've been together 14 years so true love or madness!
I just thought I would share my story and give you all a laugh!
Wait what? He's not going out with Mischa Barton is he?
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