• Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.

football thread 13/14 |ot12| last roll of the dive

Status
Not open for further replies.
pulga

pulga

Banned
Linius said:
Isn't Quiche younger than Bacon? I'm gonna go to a game with Footy Gafs kids.
Click to expand...

dont forget to take pillows and blankets for naptime
smiling_moon2.png


noal said:
We've been together 14 years so true love or madness!


I just thought I would share my story and give you all a laugh!
Click to expand...

good on you man, at least one microbe from this cesspit called a thread is going to
your choice of
paradise <3
 
B

Baconsaurus Rex

Member
Linius said:
If I have to clean up my cats vomit it makes almost throw up. I can't handle that.
Click to expand...

My puppy chihuahua produces the smelliest poop in the world. He likes to sneak into the boxroom and shits under the table there. The window's always closed so the first person to walk into that room walks straight into a wall of warm shit vapour.

And then you have to kneel down and get your face right into the makeshift greenhouse under the table and look for the turd.
 
U

Ushojax

Should probably not trust the 7-11 security cameras quite so much
Salvadora said:
I used to have such a thing for Mischa Barton in the O.C season 1 era.

Now she looks like a drug addict :/
Click to expand...

I see her sometimes in Kensington, she always looks rough as hell. The other girl from that show aged much better.
 
Y

Yurt

il capo silenzioso
Blablurn "fuck revengeance's endboss"

Yurt "WHAT WOULD RIBERY DO?"

Blablurn" fuck an underage girl? :("


*dead*
 
S

Salvadora

Member
I think some people in here aren't allowed to be around minors.
Ushojax said:
I see her sometimes in Kensington, she always looks rough as hell. The other girl from that show aged much better.
Click to expand...

Who else have you seen around the place? I think you said you've seen Pardew before.

Spill your celeb gossip.
 
C

Clegg

Member
Shane Long to Hull should be confirmed this evening or tomorrow.He's currently having his medical.

Am I alone in think West Brom are making a mistake in selling him?
 
B

Barzul

Member
noal said:
IF YOU ARE EATING PLEASE DON'T READ ON!

Last Saturday night I had my usual Footy Manager session. I stay up till around 4 am after ending the season by winning everything.

I listen to some music on my headphones in bed. My 17 year old special needs step daughter comes in and announces that she has wet the bed. This happens semi regularly. I MUST ALSO POINT OUT THAT WE ARE THE ONLY PEOPLE IN THE HOUSE.

Ok. I put a towel over the damp patch, tuck her in, then go back to bed. 30 minutes later she comes back into my room and, whilst grinning, announces that once again she has wet the bed; cue another towel, cue another tucking in. I returned to try and get some sleep.

An hour later I hear rumblings from the other room but try and ignore them. 10 minutes later I look up to see said step daughter standing just inside my door with a bath towel in her hands. Whilst trying hard to open my poor eyes I focus on some strange marks on the towel which are definitely not part of the pattern.

She announces that this time she has pooed the bed and proceeds to let a fully formed mini frankenfurter fall from the towel onto my bedroom floor. This gets me out of bed pretty sharpish and I scoop up the offending turd with toilet paper.

I check, because I have to, if she has wiped her arse and alas, no she hasn't. I start to do it for her( I do this as little as possible normally) and my fingers pierce the paper and get smothered in rich sticky shit which considering my alcohol consumption nearly made me gag.

I clean myself up and put her in the bath and then go into her room to get rid of the soiled sheets. Unfortunately, she had already taken the sheet off before shitting the bed and she had tried to clean it off the mattress with the bath towel with just left foul smelling streaks of shit all over the mattress.

I start to clean off the mattress as best I can although it's pretty well rubbed in and start to feel hard bits. I look at the edge of the bed and realise that I have been sweeping the peanuts in her shit to the mattress edge and they are lined up along the lip of the mattress. I VERY NEARLY lose everything in my stomach but somehow manage not to.

The day after, after 3 scrub downs, it's a lost cause and I have to take the mattress outside ready for chucking. The final indignity was that it was quite thick and small stairs meant that it overpowered me and I had smelly shit stains in my face twice.

I didn't feel well the day after. This is my story. I hope you can laugh at the thing I call my life.

If you were eating I did warn you.
Click to expand...

I couldn't deal. You're a good father.
 
L

Linius

Member
omgkitty said:
They have a video about Anouk joining Arsenal. That's weird.
Click to expand...

How is that weird? She's been with us for almost two years and she's our most iconic womens player and now she's leaving for a big club in England. Why wouldn't they make a video about that? :p
 
O

omgkitty

Member
Linius said:
How is that weird? She's been with us for almost two years and she's our most iconic womens player and now she's leaving for a big club in England. Why wouldn't they make a video about that? :p
Click to expand...

I just think it's weird they have a video about a player leaving to join another club. It's not like Ajax is some unknown small town club or something.
 
C

Clegg

Member
LabouredSubterfuge said:
24 goals in 131 Premier League apperances and more than 9 league goals in a season once in his career.
Click to expand...
Played a lot as a second striker in his career tho. He's not brilliant, but he's a hard working player and can be a handful for defences. Idy have thought he'd be perfect for a club the size of West Brom.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.

Similar threads

  • Locked
Football Thread 2014/2015 |OT12| Old Man Looking For 17 year olds. Contact Arsene
393 394 395 396 397
20K
789K
Jarnet87 replied
  • Locked
Football 2014/15 |OT14| The one where Europa&Champions League are sensationally back
97 98 99 100 101
5K
280K
EviLore replied
Football Thread 2014/15 |OT9| - How the Snitch stole all the banter
393 394 395 396 397
20K
744K
Broder Salsa replied
  • Locked
Football 2014/2015 |OT13| Lightning returns, check your PMs, there is no kick
396 397 398 399 400
20K
778K
Infernostew replied
  • Locked
Football Thread 2013/14 |OT23| Goal-Line Technology Saving Football In Brazil
396 397 398 399 400
20K
725K
Hixx replied
Top Bottom