He just called me. Insurance is covering about a quarter of it... Sweet god...
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Football Thread 2012/13 |OT4| Welcome Sweet and Tender Hooligan
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He just called me. Insurance is covering about a quarter of it... Sweet god...
That doesn't sound very well :|
Jeff Albertson
Member
It was a school disco and one girl decided she wanted a bit of fun with a few lads in the boys changing room, I get a shout of 'Marsland come and see this' I rush over as it sounds like its something exciting and all I see is a few lads all awaiting their turn, as soon as I walk in a teacher enters and it kind of escalated quickly from there, so basically I got suspended for witnessing it as there was no proof on who had fingers in what areas. I had to explain the whole thing to my parents, the shame was brutal I can only imagine how she felt. Although I may have met up with her individually at a later date, I'm kind of glad I had a son and if I ever have a daughter I want to borrow the men in black brain washer!
By the way it wasn't rapey from what I hear she instigated it all.
Stitches in your cock is the worst. I had to get circumsized when I was about 5 or 6. Anyway the stitches would always get caught in my undercrackers and I would fucking shit it. Once in class I got chucked out for having my hand down my pants trying to sort it ;_;
yeah, is by far one of the worst things for a "civilized" country such as the US.. I never understood it.. but I also don't understand all the unemployed uninsured people that live in trailer parks in my area that keep voting against their own interests... but.. well...
*I apologize in advance for the rant, I don't really want to start a political debate.
Freewheelin'
Member
Fucking :lol at Jeff.
But then again, I can't judge him
But then again, I can't judge him
This is fucked up man :lol
Jeff Albertson
Member
I was a horrible little Barton in school but it kind of sucked getting suspended when I didn't even do anything
It was fucking terrible as well. There was talk of the papers being involved and all sorts. In truth there was probably only 2 or 3 lads actually involved but 9 of us got suspended in the end because we were in the vicinity
I swear I didn't even know what was going on until I walked in
It was fucking terrible as well. There was talk of the papers being involved and all sorts. In truth there was probably only 2 or 3 lads actually involved but 9 of us got suspended in the end because we were in the vicinity
I swear I didn't even know what was going on until I walked in
LanceVance
Member
Yeah it was when I was 16, think the hardest part was getting the courage to go to the doctors and telling him about it to be honest. Had dissolvable stitches so didn't have to go back to get them taken out thank god
HotHamWater
Member
hahahaaha
One of my mates split his clock in two somehow, while riding a bike. Was funny as fuck how he just came out and said it one day. We had to get his dad to confirm it.
How the fuck do you do that??
That sucks. I was circumcised when I was a baby so I have no memories of it.
Should have come Daniele, should have joined the Champions.
Broder Salsa
Banned
There's a picture of my cock and three balls on my girlfriends phone. I'd post it here but don't really want my knob on the internet.
Jeff Albertson
Member
I snapped mine having sex in the shower, I presume the water got rid of the natural lubrication.
Not to be rank but my abiding memory was the smell, it was horrific man
Not to be rank but my abiding memory was the smell, it was horrific man
I read an article in a magazine about the story of a guy that snapped his... quite frankly it was horrific.. I don't even want to imagine.
1 ball?
Gareth Bale
Member
Apart from the getting chucked out of class memory the only other one I have is straight after the op. I needed a piss but my legs wouldn't work cos of the anaesthetic so I had to shuffle/slide through a ward and hallways in the hospital while everyone laughed... all while wearing a backless gown
LanceVance
Member
It bleeds a lot for something so little
Freewheelin'
Member
Can't stop laughing.
Speaking of penis horror stories, me and a few friends at school (around the age of 6 I think?) were playing some game with this girl who was trying to kick us all in the gonads and we had to run away. Suffice to say I got blindsided and booted so hard in the cock I had to get circumcised after I started developing problems in that area. WOOT.
Broder Salsa
Banned
Yeah that's ball cancer, bro.
Meus Renaissance
Member
.
This is a new phenomenon - and that Wilbury gif is both exciting and terrifying! But it's inspired me to share a stupid sex story.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years at the end of uni, we'd become to "friendly" and it just wasn't working.
Fastforward about 3 months and my mate breaks up with his girlfriend as well who, on a night out, I decide to get with because I was feeling a bit low. He didn't (and I think still doesn't) know about this - but we have a bit of a drunken fumble on a mutual friends doorstep before calling it an evening.
She calls me a couple of days later asking if she can "come over." I should point out at this stage that I'd spent most of my teenage years in a relationship so I had very little experience with this kind of thing, but as far as I was aware she was coming over for sexy time.
Easy; shit, shower, shave around the key areas, take down my 6 year old pokemon poster and give my room a thorough tidy ready for the deed. She shows up and we make out before heading upstairs and hit the bed.
I panic. I'd had sex before but in a "one night stand" situation I had to impress her right? That's what TV had taught me. Suffice to say the panic got too much and... well... you know. Anyway - I bluffed for a bit, instead of being honest and probably carried on absolutely fine, and then did the most ridiculous "sexual avoidance maneuver" I have ever done. She gets on top before I say "was that my phone?" She says she doesn't think so, before I insist that I check anyway.
I take up my phone and call my friend (a mutual friend of myself and the girl) and keep him talking for a couple of minutes and promising to explain later what was going on.
I go back into my room to find her waiting for me before telling her "that was my ex, I'm pretty upset; you should probably go."
We have never spoken about it since.
Though since that day I have actively avoided sex with 4 different women through a variety of ridiculous escapades.
I broke up with my girlfriend of 5 years at the end of uni, we'd become to "friendly" and it just wasn't working.
Fastforward about 3 months and my mate breaks up with his girlfriend as well who, on a night out, I decide to get with because I was feeling a bit low. He didn't (and I think still doesn't) know about this - but we have a bit of a drunken fumble on a mutual friends doorstep before calling it an evening.
She calls me a couple of days later asking if she can "come over." I should point out at this stage that I'd spent most of my teenage years in a relationship so I had very little experience with this kind of thing, but as far as I was aware she was coming over for sexy time.
Easy; shit, shower, shave around the key areas, take down my 6 year old pokemon poster and give my room a thorough tidy ready for the deed. She shows up and we make out before heading upstairs and hit the bed.
I panic. I'd had sex before but in a "one night stand" situation I had to impress her right? That's what TV had taught me. Suffice to say the panic got too much and... well... you know. Anyway - I bluffed for a bit, instead of being honest and probably carried on absolutely fine, and then did the most ridiculous "sexual avoidance maneuver" I have ever done. She gets on top before I say "was that my phone?" She says she doesn't think so, before I insist that I check anyway.
I take up my phone and call my friend (a mutual friend of myself and the girl) and keep him talking for a couple of minutes and promising to explain later what was going on.
I go back into my room to find her waiting for me before telling her "that was my ex, I'm pretty upset; you should probably go."
We have never spoken about it since.
Though since that day I have actively avoided sex with 4 different women through a variety of ridiculous escapades.
Vivalaraza
Member
International break - what have you done?
Freewheelin'
Member
HAPPY BIRTHDAY CLINT
Vivalaraza
Member
I'm surprised we didn't start to refer to people we dislike as "CLINT", now I think of it. JT is still a pretty good sub though.
Sviatoslav
Member
I see I'm in time for football thread, mid-afternoon time!
HotHamWater
Member
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