There I was, nose bleeding and boner fading. Another night where I'd bet that Arshavin would score. Another night where he didn't.
My punishment? A midget's dick up my nose and a handjob off a gardener. Coarse hands, those green fingered fuckers. Like getting my dick played with by a fucking scorpion.
So anyways I stumble on home and Andrei is waiting for me. He apologises but I'm having none of it. Should have done his job, shouldn't he?
"Im sorry Sviatoslav! I tried, I really tried! Let me make it up to you"
I thought he might finally put the ball in the net. Missed my arsehole and ended up dipping his knob in my dinner.