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[Arnie]

baby why you gotta hurt me like that

Basically I lie on my back and depending on how many I've had, how long it's been etc it either shoots around my belly and chest or just dribbles out. Then I run to the bathroom being careful that it doesn't drip on the floor.

and then my brother reads this forum and i shoot myself in the head

:lol

Fuck putting a condom on, though. They're the devil's work.

 

[K1LLER7]

baby why you gotta hurt me like that

Basically I lie on my back and depending on how many I've had, how long it's been etc it either shoots around my belly and chest or just dribbles out. Then I run to the bathroom being careful that it doesn't drip on the floor.

and then my brother reads this forum and i shoot myself in the head

:lol He's probably doing the same thing.

 

[Turok_TTZ]

Condoms for a wank, you think we are millionaires m8?

no but i know some peeps that do that. i tried it once myself (never again). and if I try to ejaculate myself, I wud make sure that the trajectory of my sperm will be towards tissue or the toilet bowl like i was taking a jizz. I masterbate sitting up either on my toilet seat or on my bed. if on bed I make damn sure my phallus nor balls even touch my bed sheets, let alone my own secretion.

 

[Broder Salsa]

Hahahahaha. Wooden you post some crazy shit sometimes lol.

That's why you would be in my favourite posters list.

Oh shit here comes another fav posters list.

then why is my asshole hairy

Hmmm, this does destroy the theory. But semen will keep your skin young, don't just trust me.

 

[Wilbur]

no but i know some peeps that do that. i tried it once myself (never again). and if I try to ejaculate myself, I wud make sure that the trajectory of my sperm will be towards tissue or the toilet bowl like i was taking a jizz. I masterbate sitting up either on my toilet seat or on my bed. if on bed I make damn sure my phallus nor balls even touch my bed sheets, let alone my own secretion.

come on matey this is disgusting

taking a jizz LOOOOOOOL

 

[Turok_TTZ]

Gaihs , Guys , mates.... wth are we talkin up masterbation?
wilbury what have ye done?

 

[bud]

i once accidentally came on my own face when trying to cum on my belly. the force was too strong. i didn't know my own strength. at first, i laughed, but then this feeling of shame washed over me. i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for the following month.

 

[Wilbur]

Gaihs , Guys , mates.... wth are we talkin up masterbation?
wilbury what have ye done?

I have... saved us.

Join us. Become one. Afer Dark needs to gain followers if we are to become the first cross country parliamentary force.

i once accidentally came on my own face when trying to cum on my belly. the force was too strong. i didn't know my own powers. at first, i laughed, but then this feeling of shame washed over me. i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for the following month.

okay maybe lets just focus on local constituencies for now

 

[Arnie]

That Mata head scrunch and Sturridge embrace melts my heart.

My friend's a bit like you, Turok, basically wears a proverbial hazmat suit whenever he's going to jack off. Don't see the point in it, really, my bed's probably laced with pubes and dry spunk but I couldn't care less.

 

[Turok_TTZ]

i once accidentally came on my own face when trying to cum on my belly. the force was too strong. i didn't know my own strength. at first, i laughed, but then this feeling of shame washed over me. i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for the following month.

that is a pain... I am grateful that I will never learn.

@ Arnie
hah. I wash my sheets once a week so its always clean. take a shower every day too. *shudder*

 

[pulga]

Wilbury and Freewheelin should set up some kinda system in where one wanks, rings a bell and the other fetches him some toilet paper. Brotherly love, yo.

You really just need to keep a roll of toilet paper by your computer/tablet/binoculars inside the bushes etc. At least an old sock or something, man! Come on.

[/b]

Mother of god... what other of your bodily orifices would it dribble out? Wait, don't answer that.

Shieeet I think I've even used a spare bottle of Coke lying around. Hard as shit to aim the cum into the bottle though.

 

[fadetoblack]

I don't keep old socks, that's weird! The second they don't fit me or there's a hole, they go in the bin. I can't keep rolls next to my bed because then my parents know. they KNOW. It's safer to just do it when no one's around and then run to get some toilet roll

Spoiler

or eat it lol jk or am i lol jk or am i lol jk or am i lol jk or am i

What the fuck Wilbury how do your socks just randomly stop fitting you?

And, for what it's worth, your parents will know you masturbate no matter what you do. Or just jerk off in the shower, or go where the toilet paper is---the fucking toilet. What are you doing, man?

 

[Wilbur]

Wilbury and Freewheelin should set up some kinda system in where one wanks, rings a bell and the other fetches him some toilet paper. Brotherly love, yo.

The day Arsenal win another trophy is the day I bring him some Kleenex after he's painted the pillow.

What the fuck Wilbury how do your socks just randomly stop fitting you?

And, for what it's worth, your parents will know you masturbate no matter what you do. Or just jerk off in the shower, or go where the toilet paper is---the fucking toilet. What are you doing, man?

THE MORE I WANK THE BIGGER MY FEET GET

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
LET ME LIE IN MY BED WITH MY EYES CLOSED AND THE LIGHTS OFF

ITS HARD TO WANK SITTING UP

I NEED TO LIE

 

[FootballFan]

i once accidentally came on my own face when trying to cum on my belly. the force was too strong. i didn't know my own strength. at first, i laughed, but then this feeling of shame washed over me. i couldn't look at myself in the mirror for the following month.

Good place to avatar quote :lol

afer dark aka 4pm is back it seems.

 

[Turok_TTZ]

socks? what madmen are ye?! what have I gotten myself into on this thread? what happened to football and discussing whos chelsea player's girl has john terry had an affair with.

 

[fadetoblack]

The day Arsenal win another trophy is the day I bring him some Kleenex after he's painted the pillow.



THE MORE I WANK THE BIGGER MY FEET GET

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
LET ME LIE IN MY BED WITH MY EYES CLOSED AND THE LIGHTS OFF

ITS HARD TO WANK SITTING UP

I NEED TO LIE

Mate you better close your eyes. The way you're going I'm surprised you don't get friendly fire in the face.

 

[Wilbur]

Mate you better close your eyes. The way you're going I'm surprised you don't get friendly fire in the face.

Sometimes I crank my head to the right just in case.

 

[Broder Salsa]

Be glad no one posted their cumrags yet.

Mate you better close your eyes. The way you're going I'm surprised you don't get friendly fire in the face.

Close your eyes, open your mouth, no need for that protein shake after a work out.

 

[Turok_TTZ]

JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
LET ME LIE IN MY BED WITH MY EYES CLOSED AND THE LIGHTS OFF

ITS HARD TO WANK SITTING UP

I NEED TO LIE

:lol:

I cannot wank off lying down, can only do it sitting up...

Be glad no one posted their cumrags yet.



Close your eyes, open your mouth, no need for that protein shake after a work out.

Im dying.

 

[Wilbur]

Be glad no one posted their cumrags yet.

Why do you think his hair is so full of life

 

[fadetoblack]

Why would you post your cumrags? Then... why would you post a masterbation log?

 

[Broder Salsa]

Some guy posted a cumrag in the pics that makes you laugh thread, was like he had been collecting it for years.

:lol:

I cannot wank off lying down, can only do it sitting up...

How can you not do that?

Why do you think his hair is so full of life

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

My weewee has a slight curve to the left so if I have a wank laying down, my jizz wont shoot up straight but rather to the left and hit my window

 

[Turok_TTZ]

Why do you think his hair is so full of life

why.jpg

 

[Wilbur]

My weewee has a slight curve to the left so if I have a wank laying down, my jizz wont shoot up straight but rather to the left and hit my window

Why are you masturbating next to the window

Also Wooden, I just watched that gif about ten times, it's fucking PERFECT

 

[pulga]

lol Afer Dark is back, and Turok is scared. Someone post that Devo gif.


Alright time to come clean guys. Has anyone, out of curiosity, ever tasted their own cum? This does not apply to you peeps who've already tasted another man's juice

Spoiler

bud

, but to those of us who have no idea what out little sperm thingies actually taste like.

 

[Broder Salsa]

Why are you masturbating next to the window

Can't look at your favorite walk by's otherwise.

Alright time to come clean guys. Has anyone, out of curiosity, ever tasted their own cum? This does not apply to you peeps who've already tasted another man's juice

Spoiler

bud

, but to those of us who have no idea what out little sperm thingies actually taste like.

Had a lengthy post about this written out before. I have found myself in a position of wanting to but then pussying out in the last moments, it just didn't feel right jerking off on my head in the shower.

 

[Turok_TTZ]

Why are you masturbating next to the window

he is hoping to be seen. i know some guys and girls like that too.

 

[Wilbur]

lol Afer Dark is back, and Turok is scared. Someone post that Devo gif.


Alright time to come clean guys. Has anyone, out of curiosity, ever tasted their own cum? This does not apply to you peeps who've already tasted another man's juice

Spoiler

bud

, but to those of us who have no idea what out little sperm thingies actually taste like.

Nope. It's just... it's weird. My friend told me he'd tried his and it tasted like summer fruits squash, but I'm not tempted. I don't like mashed potato. I don't like pie. I don't like prawns.

I don't think I'm going to like ejaculate.

 

[fadetoblack]

Football Thread |OT11| EYES CLOSED AND LIGHTS OFF

 

[Turok_TTZ]

lol Afer Dark is back, and Turok is scared. Someone post that Devo gif.


Alright time to come clean guys. Has anyone, out of curiosity, ever tasted their own cum? This does not apply to you peeps who've already tasted another man's juice

Spoiler

bud

, but to those of us who have no idea what out little sperm thingies actually taste like.

why would you do that? D:

Football Thread |OT11| EYES CLOSED AND LIGHTS OFF

BAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

 

[bud]

lol Afer Dark is back, and Turok is scared. Someone post that Devo gif.


Alright time to come clean guys. Has anyone, out of curiosity, ever tasted their own cum? This does not apply to you peeps who've already tasted another man's juice

Spoiler

bud

, but to those of us who have no idea what out little sperm thingies actually taste like.

i am not gay, pulga, although i would fuck wilbury bareback, and cum on his fleshy, hairless cheeks.

i'd want wooden to narrate that video.

 

[Timurid]

Nope. It's just... it's weird. My friend told me he'd tried his and it tasted like summer fruits squash, but I'm not tempted. I don't like mashed potato. I don't like pie.I don't like prawns.

I don't think I'm going to like ejaculate.

What's wrong with you?

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Why are you masturbating next to the window

My bed is next to my window. Sometimes when I'm not fully prepared I have to do the walk of shame to the bathroom holding my cum stained tissue carefully so I won't spill jizz all over the place, I get worried someone might see me through the half open curtains

 

[Wilbur]

Football Thread |OT11| EYES CLOSED AND LIGHTS OFF

The only safe way to enter this thread

i am not gay, pulga, although i would fuck wilbury bareback, and cum on his fleshy, hairless cheeks.

i'd want wooden to narrate that video.

I keep telling people I have a hairy arse I don't understand why no one listens

What's wrong with you?

It's always either too lumpy or too smooth. No danke

 

[Arnie]

I don't like mashed potato. I don't like pie. I don't like prawns.

Fish pie is literally my favourite food you fucking ball bag, you've de-synced us.

Can't believe I've only just heard of the term 'cumrag'.

 

[Broder Salsa]

My bed is next to my window. Sometimes when I'm not fully prepared I have to do the walk of shame to the bathroom holding my cum stained tissue carefully so I won't spill jizz all over the place, I get worried someone might see me through the half open curtains

Do you ever do your business while looking at people outside?

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Anyone got the pictures of that cumbox?

 

[Wilbur]

Fish pie is literally my favourite food you fucking ball bag, you've de-synced us.

Can't believe I've only just heard of the term 'cumrag'.

Something about the combination of the pastry and whatever creamy wet filling is in there (so chicken, apple, fish shit, whatever) is just fucking weird to me

So it's why I shall never commit a Pastry Chef even if the lady wants to

 

[pulga]

My weewee has a slight curve to the left so if I have a wank laying down, my jizz wont shoot up straight but rather to the left and hit my window

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE ;_; CUM HERE BRO

i am not gay, pulga, although i would fuck wilbury bareback, and cum on his fleshy, hairless cheeks.

You just want dat avatar/tag quote dont ya.


I've actually read that eating lots of pineapple makes your cum very sweet, something which should be appreciated by the ladies.

 

[fadetoblack]

Anyone got the pictures of that cumbox?

As in a box to store cum? That would smell like rotten flesh after a few days, I reckon. Then again, some of you fuckers don't wash your sheets even if it has dry cum on it.

 

[Turok_TTZ]

I've actually read that eating lots of pineapple makes your cum very sweet, something which should be appreciated by the ladies.

Source?

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

Do you ever do your business while looking at people outside?

Only retired folks around here and I'm not into that. Masturbate thinking of people that I know frequently though

 

[fadetoblack]

Something about the idea of you working in a kitchen, Wilbury, doesn't sit right with me.

 

[Arnie]

Source?

No, pineapple juice.

Something about the idea of you working in a kitchen, Wilbury, doesn't sit right with me.

I wouldn't touch his fucking food.

Unless he made me a fish pie with a creamy mash roof.

 

[Broder Salsa]

I've actually read that eating lots of pineapple makes your cum very sweet, something which should be appreciated by the ladies.

But it should be salty and disgusting like a Mc Donalds meal, not like a fruit. If the unfortunate female isn't left with regret and a disgust at herself I feel like I haven't done my job properly.

Only retired folks around here and I'm not into that. Masturbate thinking of people that I know frequently though

Fuck I also live right next to a retirement home, it sucks man.

 

[pulga]

Mumei's gonna ban us all, isn't she?

Source?

Well isn't this ironic

 

[fadetoblack]

OH MY GOD I THOUGHT I WAS ALONE ;_; CUM HERE BRO



You just want dat avatar/tag quote dont ya.


I've actually read that eating lots of pineapple makes your cum very sweet, something which should be appreciated by the ladies.

Pulga there was a study where guys ate a strict diet of either fish, meat, fruits, or sweets and their ladies tried to guess which diet they were on. They said it affected the taste, but I think its bullshit.

Also, pineapple is not an acceptable piece of fruit. Not even on pizza, you fucking animals who eat Hawaiian.

Edit: Didn't know Mumei was a lady. That's great! Is she the only lady in footygaf? Last time we had a lady in here that I remember it was also a female mod, and that didn't end well. But Mumei is fucking class.

 

[Baconsaurus Rex]

As in a box to store cum? That would smell like rotten flesh after a few days, I reckon. Then again, some of you fuckers don't wash your sheets even if it has dry cum on it.

A shoebox. All the cardboard turned to mush. It wasn't a pretty sight.

Source?

That's true. Eating lots of fruit will sweeten up your jizz. Don't eat asparagus though

 

[Turok_TTZ]

on football related news though a bit old, CR7 has refused to extend his contract. expires in 2015 we still got time.