Thierry Walcott will be top scorer this season, book it
Nah, in a shock move QPR sign Falcao for £60 million after the Columbian International's London geography lets him down. Despite the rest of the team being utter shite, Falcao literally scores from every chance he gets and they win all their remaining games for the rest of the season. QPR finish on 74 points, top the league and set a new record for the lowest number of points required to win the EPL in the three points for a win era.
This comes about after a suspicious "fresh seafood" incident at the PFA player of the year awards which saddles all the "top, top, top players" in the PL with bouts of explosive diarrhea for the last two months of the season, making it impossible for them to train or play. Falcao misses the ceremony after being held by the police for assault & battery. When the victim turns out to be Piers Morgan who made a Twitter bet that he'd allow Falcao to hit him "as hard as he can in the face, should QPR go above the mighty Gunners in the table", the police realise their error and the Columbian becomes an instant national hero.
The end.