During his first spell at Chelsea, he was faced with a pack of managerial silverbacks, all wrestling for dominance, validation, and a competitive advantage. Into the fray he waded, all windmilling arms, soundbites falling from his flapping mouth. Alex Ferguson was neutralised for two seasons with flattery and fine Portuguese wine. Arsène Wenger was mocked as a "voyeur", and snubbed for failing to respond to a Christmas card. And best of all was the ongoing tiff with Rafael Benítez, a clash that could have gone down in history as one of the all-time great managerial face-offs, were it not for the fact that the actual football was so terribly terrible.
Now, though, it's pretty thin pickings. David Moyes may be a grumpy Scotsman, but he'll be spending most of his time trying not to turn into Frank O'Farrell, and the rest of it trying not to turn into Dave Sexton. Watching Mourinho bicker with Roberto Mancini and his dignity fringe might have been entertaining, but Manuel Pellegrini seems far too polite to entertain any genuine needle. Wenger's still here, of course, but like his team has diminished in prickliness, intensity and relevance. Even with the possibility of some left-field antagonism - perhaps a blazing row with Paolo di Canio about the finer nuances of Mediterranean authoritarianism - it's hard to escape the thought that Mourinho is returning to a quieter, calmer, less fervid place. That the big beasts just don't roam here any more.
That was one of the problems with this season in Spain. With Pep Guardiola gone, with Tito Vilanova absent through illness and keeping his own counsel, and with the league title more-or-less over by Christmas, Mourinho lacked a natural enemy and ended up at war with his own squad. Picking a row with Sergio Ramos and the vastly irritating Iker Casillas may be admirable, but this season's Mourinho was a sullen parody of himself. A one-sided argument becomes an odd man shouting. A character without context becomes just a confusing monologue. Mourinho needs his Beníatez like an ostler needs his ostle.
