Hi ronito,
I decided to write in and confess my crimes.
First, I'm in a STEM field and going pretty well for someone my age. Unfortunately, it also meant selling out to the man and taking a job in a lucrative, if morally / ethically / politically questionable industry. The work can be interesting, but my heart's not really in it, but if I could have the same kind of life on a career academic's pay, I'd quit and go for my PhD tomorrow.
If I can't do that, I want to work for myself, because working for the company I do work for gets depressing sometimes. But first I need an idea of what business I want to be in, which is tricky.
Second, I once went into a friend's PC during a LAN party (remember those?) and copied his entire porn stash wholesale to a stack of CDs or DVDs (don't remember which, it was the better part of a decade ago). Among it was homemade stuff he'd made with his girlfriend (now wife).
I fapped to the vids, felt ashamed and destroyed the CDs, then called my buddy and fessed up about it. He was surprisingly very good about it even if he was annoyed.
Years later he casually asked if I would ever partake in a three-way between him and his wife. I politely declined because his life was full of drama and I didn't want to get on board that particular bus.
In my quieter moments, I sometimes wish I hadn't destroyed the CDs. His wife had a thin waist and a gloriously fat ass back then, after all and she's let herself go since then. Like the fucked-up nostalgia you feel when you feel the urge to track down the very first vid you ever fapped to, it creeps up on you. But then I remember the guilt I felt immediately after and I'm glad I did destroy the CDs.
Thirdly, the first girl I ever saw topless was a mentally retarded neighbor. I was taking out the trash and I heard someone laughing, clapping and the catchy, annoying sounds of the Vengaboys. I look up and see, through a bedroom window, a chubby naked girl jumping on her bed and singing along to the music.
She liked to do this a lot and taking out the trash became the first chore I'd volunteer for for a few months (I was like fifteen, I think, and too horny by half). It all stopped when one day, I was doing some gardening and found a pile of cigarette butts sitting underneath our hedge. No one in our family smoked.
I sat in the spot and noticed it had a perfect view of the neighbor's window. Someone had been hiding there at night, spying on the mentally retarded girl. I convinced my parents that the person must have been a thief casing our house, so we ripped out that hedge and planted a vegetable patch there instead.
Not wanting to be even remotely the same as someone who was definitely a pervert, I avoided looking through that window from that point on.
That's it, really. Please try to avoid using this against me if I ever try to run for president or something. I'd appreciate that.
