Lil'B Bogarts Concert:
I showed up right after 8, the place was nearly empty, although as I predicted the quality ass ratio was off the charts. Sure, only about a quarter of the people were women, but man oh man were there some sights. I scored three or four Long Islands because I figured they had the best alcohol quantity to price ratio even at seven bucks. The first performer comes on and he's in a wheelchair. The crowd looks up in dismay, everyone thinks this is about to be a bunch of gimmicky bullshit. However, when he starts rapping everyone shuts the fuck up. Dude was pretty ill, like a white handicapped Keith Murray. I met up with this chick I know and her brother (bummer). However he turns out to be a fellow master chef, so we form a BASED coalition like Voltron. I'm so ready to swag out, but the shittiest rap group ever comes on. Basically all of their songs sound like swag-less versions of Racks on Racks. Their so momentously bad that they single-handedly make me reevaluate my love for hip-hop. They leave, thankfully...And I need a couple more drinks. Now I'm drunk, hitting on this chick while she's sitting next to her little teenage brother and BASED GOD is nowhere to be seen. Nearly an hour later, probably some two hours after the scheduled time he comes out of nowhere. Everyone goes nuts. Bogarts fills up to nearly half capacity after only having a 1/4. Everyone swags out. He performs every banger in his repertoire. He fucking killed it, so much energy everywhere even with Bogarts being only half capacity. At this point, I'm going nuts. I leveled up past master chef on Wonton Soup, reaching the Iron Chef level. I single-handedly start a crowd participatory Woop! Woop! Woop! Woop!, which continued throughout pretty much every song. I'm sweaty, I'm happy, BASED GOD exits and I feel like I have been blessed. He comes back out and everyone clamors to get their picture with him. The chick's little brother somehow pushed me out of frame after using my short stature to sneak to the front.