Every single post on this forum, helpful or not, is a "look at me".
Thanks, your post really got to me. But no, I rarely smoke cigarettes. That night though, yes. I think we each had maybe half a pack. We both had a lot of pain in our throats the next morning. I told him it was probably all the cigarettes, but he said, "I doubt it."
I can quit the drugs easily enough. It was always the people (mostly James), never a dependence. I like the effects, but I don't have an addiction to any of them. James and I didn't talk from end of December to mid-March and I had no drugs throughout that whole period except for one night of drinking with some people.
And when I was talking motivation and willpower, I mean to do anything important. To get out of bed. To do any sort of schoolwork. To draw. To practice guitar. To leave the house. To do almost anything I should be doing.
No, New Jersey.