GAF, I really respect you guys. Whopped by Molly and desperately need some advice.

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EMT0 said:
xIAHvNw.png


Seriously, what is going on this thread. It makes my brain hurt
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What happens if OP relents
 
I thought for sure his friend was killed or something due to the molly halfway through the first half of the OP, now I'm just confused but I think Sting has something to do with all of this
 
BPoole said:
I wanted to read the whole thing and give advice, but you come off as such a jackass in this text. Here you are blowing up this girl's phone with all your problems in life and she is being extremely patient with you and trying to help, and then she asks a small favor and you blow up on her. I had to stop reading there and as for advice, I'll just say; Don't do drugs
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Alright, you guys don't get me and Kat. I've put up with 1000 times what you guys are putting up with now (well, very few of you, but I really appreciate it) with her. She sends me DOZENS of texts an hour DAMN-NEAR DAILY for the past two and a half years about her day, her problems, her "relationship" (stalkerish obsession) with this rich guy across the country who she met once, who used to like her, but now has had a girlfriend for two years and does nothing but continue to string her along.
Plus, she admitted that was a joke right afterwards. I think she's finished with the semester.

I've helped her write shit for school before, proofreaded papers, and I give her a ton of advice. I'm fine with all that. I reacted like that right there, because in the preceding texts, I admitted to being like a fucking servant to people, because I want to be accepted and liked and keep friends and all that. Truth is, I don't have many friends, and I have no one who has my back completely. I'm the sort of friend who'll lend you 200 bucks and let you take your time paying it back -- months, half a year, whatever -- AS LONG AS YOU DO. James lent me money once for the train to Albany when we went to Life in Color, and he was on my ass everyday afterwards to pay it back, even though I told him I'd have it by the end of the month. I'm not gonna forget, shit.

I don't know. I guess I find it hard to make friends, let alone any real and lasting ones. I've moved around a lot. From Chile at 4 years old to Long Island, as an illegal immigrant, and even there moved around a bit more. Two elementary schools, two middle schools. I was well-liked and known then, but then I moved to New Jersey the year before high school. That crippled me severely, and I was already a shy and introverted person back then. Zero friends, crap schools, everyone's older and more closed off, and it's just way harder than it ever was before. There's a lot more, but I won't bore you guys. We all have our shit.


Pete Rock said:
1) this is why you weren't invited to edc
2) what a waste of a roll
3) i hate you
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I was invited, I just didn't want to go.
 
You have some nice friends OP, my friends would've told me to fuck off long before I could go on any drug induced rant. I also listened to some of that 20min recording, and found no redeeming qualities in it.

You should probably seek help and stay the fuck away from molly.
 
Tomasooie said:
Alright, you guys don't get me and Kat. I've put up with 1000 times what you guys are putting up with now (well, very few of you, but I really appreciate it) with her. She sends me DOZENS of texts an hour DAMN-NEAR DAILY for the past two and a half years about her day, her problems, her "relationship" (stalkerish obsession) with this rich guy across the country who she met once, who used to like her, but now has had a girlfriend for two years and does nothing but continue to string her along.

I've helped her write shit for school before, proofreaded papers, and I give her a ton of advice. I'm fine with all that. I reacted like that right there, because in the preceding texts, I admitted to being like a fucking servant to people, because I want to be accepted and liked and keep friends and all that. Truth is, I don't have many friends, and I have no one who has my back completely. I'm the sort of friend who'll lend you 200 bucks and let you take your time paying it back -- months, half a year, whatever -- AS LONG AS YOU DO. James lent me money once for the train to Albany when we went to Life in Color, and he was on my ass everyday afterwards to pay it back, even though I told him I'd have it by the end of the month. I'm not gonna forget, shit.

I don't know. I guess I find it hard to make friends, let alone any real and lasting ones. I've moved around a lot. From Chile at 4 years old to Long Island, as an illegal immigrant, and even there moved around a bit more. Two elementary schools, two middle schools. I was well-liked and known then, but then I moved to New Jersey the year before high school. That crippled me severely, and I was already a shy and introverted person back then. Zero friends, crap schools, everyone's older and more closed off, and it's just way harder than it ever was before. There's a lot more, but I won't bore you guys. We all have our shit.



I was invited, I just didn't want to go.
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So Katherine is just as annoying and vapid and clueless as you? s[poiler]And GOD DAMN she's creepy lol.[/spoiler]

NEVER WOULDA GUESSED

OP should be retitled "Don't fucking do drugs, kids. Just don't. Do you wanna be like this guy!?" OP is literally the younger version of those winos that you see on the street that ramble on about their lives, talking about what level they're on and that one time they saw some crazy shit at Saks and Fifth Ave (paraphrasing from a wino I once had the pleasure to be enlightened by about 4 years ago.)
 
Tomasooie said:
No, I've listened to the whole thing five or so times. I dunno. Sometimes I wish I could help everyone get to where they want to be. But I guess I've got to worry about myself first. It's just...if we tried together, it'd be so much easier. I lack motivation to a huge degree, and willpower.
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I'll be real with you.

Your experiences that night meant nothing. If you want to make changes to your life, you have to get out there and actually do it. Yourself. No drug-induced "epiphany" is going to make it magically happen.

Relying on this as some sort of watershed moment that drastically changes your life, instead of just doing the damn work to make it happen, will ensure that the changes you want won't happen.

If you don't take the steps to make things happen, you'll just end up back where you were, doing the same old shit, as soon as you stabilize (if you actually do stabilize) from the come-down following your trip.

Tomasooie said:
Alright, you guys don't get me and Kat. I've put up with 1000 times what you guys are putting up with now (well, very few of you, but I really appreciate it) with her. She sends me DOZENS of texts an hour DAMN-NEAR DAILY for the past two and a half years about her day, her problems, her "relationship" (stalkerish obsession) with this rich guy across the country who she met once, who used to like her, but now has had a girlfriend for two years and does nothing but continue to string her along.

I've helped her write shit for school before, proofreaded papers, and I give her a ton of advice. I'm fine with all that. I reacted like that right there, because in the preceding texts, I admitted to being like a fucking servant to people, because I want to be accepted and liked and keep friends and all that. Truth is, I don't have many friends, and I have no one who has my back completely. I'm the sort of friend who'll lend you 200 bucks and let you take your time paying it back -- months, half a year, whatever -- AS LONG AS YOU DO. James lent me money once for the train to Albany when we went to Life in Color, and he was on my ass everyday afterwards to pay it back, even though I told him I'd have it by the end of the month. I'm not gonna forget, shit.

I don't know. I guess I find it hard to make friends, let alone any real and lasting ones. I've moved around a lot. From Chile at 4 years old to Long Island, as an illegal immigrant, and even there moved around a bit more. Two elementary schools, two middle schools. I was well-liked and known then, but then I moved to New Jersey the year before high school. That crippled me severely, and I was already a shy and introverted person back then. Zero friends, crap schools, everyone's older and more closed off, and it's just way harder than it ever was before. There's a lot more, but I won't bore you guys. We all have our shit.
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You need new friends.
 
I feel like Jony Ive really fucked up picking that blue gradient for the text messages, but I can't really blame him. Because when someone wants to create: pour their genuine emotions and heart and soul and uniqueness into something, it makes me forget. And hopefully one day I can forget this terrible OP.
 
I read it all, and I really don't know how to summarize all of that.

OP, seriously, you have a depression, and probably an emotional dependence with James. You say you've sworn off drugs, yet you take them. You need to understand that there are NO EXCEPTIONS, you either do drugs or you don't at all.

And to put it on top of it all, you replaced one addiction with another: cigarettes, which leave you with long term damage.

I know what it feels, what James feels. You have this misery, and misery loves company, you two are perfect for each other and could have been and might be each other's demise at one point in your lives. Depression is a disease that will slowly eat you, and you will enjoy every second because you feel like your life has a meaning, because you think you might be able to help people if your life is in the shitter, and you think people will always receive you with arms open.

Kat might be an exception with what you've told us, but others might not be so patient. Their point of view of life is different, as amazing as you think life is they might think it's quite simple, and in some aspects it is. The deepness of your observations will ran out their patience and you might find yourself alone, which becomes dangerous. Certain thoughts about hurting yourself will irrationally come lingering your mind, and even if you think self preservation is part of human nature, depression, as a disease, can make you do and think crazy thing. And this is why, through your improvement you need new friends, not necessarily abandoning the old ones, but friends can either make you better or make you worse and leave you at that. James and Kat might not make you better, Tom. You need to realize that.

This is why you need a therapist. No, they are not all the same, yes, there is someone who can and will help you. Of course they will charge you money, they studied to know how to deal with people like you, like James, like me. But you need to make that step and not turn back, because no one else will make it for you. James might need a push into making that first step, but at least one of you needs to be better before he can pull the other off the ground. Good luck, Tom.
 
Tomasooie said:
I don't know. I guess I find it hard to make friends, let alone any real and lasting ones. I've moved around a lot. From Chile at 4 years old to Long Island, as an illegal immigrant, and even there moved around a bit more. Two elementary schools, two middle schools. I was well-liked and known then, but then I moved to New Jersey the year before high school. That crippled me severely, and I was already a shy and introverted person back then. Zero friends, crap schools, everyone's older and more closed off, and it's just way harder than it ever was before. There's a lot more, but I won't bore you guys. We all have our shit.
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I really, really hate doing this, but you need some perspective man. Yes, everyone has shit, but you CANNOT let what shit you do have be the excuse you use to justify not getting your shit together.

Go get therapy. Better yourself. Step outside your safety zone and get shit done. And above all else, stop doing drugs.
 
I wouldn't of ripped his cigarettes apart. Cigarettes are legal to those who are 18 years of age and if you want a pack, there shouldn't be someone saying you can't have it. Even though they're terrible for your health.

I'd say back off of this entire situation. Drugs are illegal period and the addiction that follows is very serious. There are self help groups and rehabilitation centers that will help get your mind off the stuff and onto fixing problems in your life. Not to mention save you money from college.

If motivation is your problem, AA has a 12 step program that focuses on recovery and building off of substances.
 
cdyhybrid said:
I'll be real with you.

Your experiences that night meant nothing. If you want to make changes to your life, you have to get out there and actually do it. Yourself. No drug-induced "epiphany" is going to make it magically happen.

Relying on this as some sort of watershed moment that drastically changes your life, instead of just doing the damn work to make it happen, will ensure that the changes you want won't happen.

If you don't take the steps to make things happen, you'll just end up back where you were, doing the same old shit, as soon as you stabilize (if you actually do stabilize) from the come-down following your trip.
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Agreed. I read the whole OP, and the first thing that stood out to me is that your "revelation" sounds like a bunch of drug-induced bullshit I've heard tons of time before. You know exactly what you need to do to get better---even Katherine was on the right track. You need to get away from the environment that supports the lifestyle you want to change. And I completely understand you wanting to help your friend on the way out, but unfortunately, I think you need to focus on you. You cannot risk something so important on him.

But before anything can happen, you have to stop talking and take some action. Seek help from people trained to help you.
 
Juan29.zapata said:
Of course they will charge you money, they studied to know how to deal with people like you, like James, like me. But you need to make that step and not turn back, because no one else will make it for you. James might need a push into making that first step, but at least one of you needs to be better before he can pull the other off the ground. Good luck, Tom.
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I don't know what he makes, but he should be able to receive treatment and medication for no cost to him depending on his state's programs. He should be in contact with his state's welfare department and speak to the social worker and/or financial counselor at his local treatment facility. It is people's day in and day out job to get people the help they need no matter what insurance they do or don't have.
 
lenovox1 said:
I don't know what he makes, but he should be able to receive treatment and medication for no cost to him depending on his state's programs. He should be in contact with his state's welfare department and speak to the social worker and/or financial counselor at his local treatment facility.
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Of course, didn't think of that, really. Hope he gets what he needs, preferably free.
 
I read the whole OP.

All of it. Including the texts.

Then I read this thread.

I have now practically pissed myself from laughing so hard.

Do as your friend Kat says and go see someone about this.
 
OP are you from kansas city? i know a girl named katherine who went through all that same shit with the doctors and depression. feel like she has a friend named tom that she mentioned to me before too.
 
Tomasooie said:
Alright, you guys don't get me and Kat. I've put up with 1000 times what you guys are putting up with now (well, very few of you, but I really appreciate it) with her. She sends me DOZENS of texts an hour DAMN-NEAR DAILY for the past two and a half years about her day, her problems, her "relationship" (stalkerish obsession) with this rich guy across the country who she met once, who used to like her, but now has had a girlfriend for two years and does nothing but continue to string her along.
Plus, she admitted that was a joke right afterwards. I think she's finished with the semester.

I've helped her write shit for school before, proofreaded papers, and I give her a ton of advice. I'm fine with all that. I reacted like that right there, because in the preceding texts, I admitted to being like a fucking servant to people, because I want to be accepted and liked and keep friends and all that. Truth is, I don't have many friends, and I have no one who has my back completely. I'm the sort of friend who'll lend you 200 bucks and let you take your time paying it back -- months, half a year, whatever -- AS LONG AS YOU DO. James lent me money once for the train to Albany when we went to Life in Color, and he was on my ass everyday afterwards to pay it back, even though I told him I'd have it by the end of the month. I'm not gonna forget, shit.

I don't know. I guess I find it hard to make friends, let alone any real and lasting ones. I've moved around a lot. From Chile at 4 years old to Long Island, as an illegal immigrant, and even there moved around a bit more. Two elementary schools, two middle schools. I was well-liked and known then, but then I moved to New Jersey the year before high school. That crippled me severely, and I was already a shy and introverted person back then. Zero friends, crap schools, everyone's older and more closed off, and it's just way harder than it ever was before. There's a lot more, but I won't bore you guys. We all have our shit.
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You ever hear that thing about how you "become" your closest friends?

If what you're saying is true, this is it. You guys are clingy to each other beyond belief. That she blows up your phone and refuses to listen to you doesn't mean you blowing up her phone and refusing to listen to her is any better. It does neither of you good.

Hell, you're doing exactly what you did to her right now, to us. "Omg halp, here's an awkward baring of my soul to you over a giant wall of text. Why are you repulsed? WTF YOU DON'T GET ME". Look into that behavior, seriously.

1) Lay off the goddamn drugs
2) Make new friends, or (the easier way) actively try to subvert all of y'all's bizarre and shitty behavior toward them
3) Listen to her:
a) Go see someone about this
b) Go to sleep
c) Shut the fuck up, Tom
 
daydreaming said:
"look at me"
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Every single post on this forum, helpful or not, is a "look at me".

Juan29.zapata said:
I read it all, and I really don't know how to summarize all of that.

OP, seriously, you have a depression, and probably an emotional dependence with James. You say you've sworn off drugs, yet you take them. You need to understand that there are NO EXCEPTIONS, you either do drugs or you don't at all.

And to put it on top of it all, you replaced one addiction with another: cigarettes, which leave you with long term damage.

I know what it feels, what James feels. You have this misery, and misery loves company, you two are perfect for each other and could have been and might be each other's demise at one point in your lives. Depression is a disease that will slowly eat you, and you will enjoy every second because you feel like your life has a meaning, because you think you might be able to help people if your life is in the shitter, and you think people will always receive you with arms open.

Kat might be an exception with what you've told us, but others might not be so patient. Their point of view of life is different, as amazing as you think life is they might think it's quite simple, and in some aspects it is. The deepness of your observations will ran out their patience and you might find yourself alone, which becomes dangerous. Certain thoughts about hurting yourself will irrationally come lingering your mind, and even if you think self preservation is part of human nature, depression, as a disease, can make you do and think crazy thing. And this is why, through your improvement you need new friends, not necessarily abandoning the old ones, but friends can either make you better or make you worse and leave you at that. James and Kat might not make you better, Tom. You need to realize that.

This is why you need a therapist. No, they are not all the same, yes, there is someone who can and will help you. Of course they will charge you money, they studied to know how to deal with people like you, like James, like me. But you need to make that step and not turn back, because no one else will make it for you. James might need a push into making that first step, but at least one of you needs to be better before he can pull the other off the ground. Good luck, Tom.
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Thanks, your post really got to me. But no, I rarely smoke cigarettes. That night though, yes. I think we each had maybe half a pack. We both had a lot of pain in our throats the next morning. I told him it was probably all the cigarettes, but he said, "I doubt it."

Northeastmonk said:
I wouldn't of ripped his cigarettes apart. Cigarettes are legal to those who are 18 years of age and if you want a pack, there shouldn't be someone saying you can't have it. Even though they're terrible for your health.

I'd say back off of this entire situation. Drugs are illegal period and the addiction that follows is very serious. There are self help groups and rehabilitation centers that will help get your mind off the stuff and onto fixing problems in your life. Not to mention save you money from college.

If motivation is your problem, AA has a 12 step program that focuses on recovery and building off of substances.
Click to expand...
I can quit the drugs easily enough. It was always the people (mostly James), never a dependence. I like the effects, but I don't have an addiction to any of them. James and I didn't talk from end of December to mid-March and I had no drugs throughout that whole period except for one night of drinking with some people.

And when I was talking motivation and willpower, I mean to do anything important. To get out of bed. To do any sort of schoolwork. To draw. To practice guitar. To leave the house. To do almost anything I should be doing.

C. Qwark said:
OP are you from kansas city? i know a girl named katherine who went through all that same shit with the doctors and depression. feel like she has a friend named tom that she mentioned to me before too.
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No, New Jersey.
 
So did she find the science building?


The key thing you need to keep in mind here is that MDMA makes anything sound profound because it literally breaks open the floodgate in your brain where you keep the "that was profound" chemical in storage. Then the next day you have no more profundity chemicals and everything seems terrible and ridiculous.

That doesn't necessarily make your experience meaningless, but it does mean you need to identify what you think the meaning actually was.

You really need to overcome your fear of psychological help. This conversation is a textbook example of somebody reaching out for help to a friend who's simply unqualified to deal with the issues you're presenting -- which is why she more or less says, explicitly, that she's unqualified to deal with those issues! The snippet of you messaging your best friend is exactly the same. You can't expect your friends to shoulder the responsibility of your deep emotional needs without question. They have emotional needs of their own.

Talk to somebody.
 
To be honest it seems like the worst way to deal with psychological problems is self-medicating, especially with something that's going to give you terrible lows.
 
Tomasooie said:
I can quit the drugs easily enough. It was always the people (mostly James), never a dependence. I like the effects, but I don't have an addiction to any of them. James and I didn't talk from end of December to mid-March and I had no drugs throughout that whole period except for one night of drinking with some people.

And when I was talking motivation and willpower, I mean to do anything important. To get out of bed. To do any sort of schoolwork. To draw. To practice guitar. To leave the house. To do almost anything I should be doing.
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Translation:

Depression depression depression, dependence dependence dependence.

If you can snap yourself out of it, by all means do so, but a lot of people see a psychiatrist, get diagnosed, maybe take some drugs to help, and seek therapy. And yes a therapist will tell you what you need to hear. It's still up to you to do the hard work.
 
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