i'm not sure that my experience would necessarily be a good example to go on simply because my situation is perhaps a bit atypical. especially due to the dialect here. i didn't come to this country thinking that i would be spending the rest of my life here, so i originally had zero plans to learn german. for the first three months or so, i didn't make an effort at all except to learn a few key words. once my husband and i decided to get married, though, i realized that i would have to learn german at some point.
i learned kinda quickly (or so other people tell me) because i was ridiculously, extremely determined to learn it for a couple of reasons. first off, even in the time spent here where i wasn't making an effort to learn, i found that my natural curiosity and love of the written word were pushing me to it. it just started to drive me nuts that i couldn't pick up the newspaper and read it, couldn't make sense of the advertisements and signs i'd see all around town, couldn't buy a book at the bookstore. i knew i couldn't live like that. secondly, i had family reasons. my father-in-law and my husband's grandparents do not speak any english. i wanted to be able to talk to them on my own and to express myself to them in my own words. they're part of my family now.
i tried to learn high german and swiss german at the same time, and it worked... kind of. i started speaking sort of a mix of the two, but it began to annoy me that i'd be pegged as an "outsider" for the rest of my life unless i learned to speak the dialect. so i made a conscious switch to focus on swiss german more, and, well... at this point, it's like second nature to me. it doesn't feel like a foreign language to me anymore. i routinely think in it and dream in it, and a lot of days i speak it more than i speak english. i love swiss german. looooooooooove it. i can't even express how awesome i think it is. it's so close to my heart now. <3
i struggle when i have to speak high german, though. it does feel "foreign," however, i don't have any problems communicating. and reading is also no problem, i read novels and such in german. it just feels kind of strange when i have to speak it because i tend to still think in swiss german and have to kind of translate it in my head before i say anything. and i have a really bad swiss accent, haha
i know what you mean about peoples' reactions, too. when i think back, i used to have people switching to english with me when i was learning german and trying to speak with them. i hated that reaction... i also hated it when people would switch to high german with me when i was speaking swiss german to them. i always found that super rude. doesn't happen anymore though unless i have to show my ID, people will always address me in english or high german when they see KANADA because they assume there is no way in hell i speak dialect.
well, that was a long post, but maybe someone found it interesting