Gay and Bisexual Coming-out thread |OT|

Status
Not open for further replies.
mantidor said:
According to my shrink, and well any study I've read, everyone is bisexual to some degree, and purely heterosexual or homosexual persons are very, very rare. And after giving it much thought I think it makes sense, it's just not that easy for anyone to accept it, including gay people.

It's the root of homophobia, homophobia doesn't mean someone is afraid of gay people, it means they are afraid of their own homosexuality, and can't stand anything or anyone exciting that part of themselves, no matter how small or repressed it is.
Well, I mostly agree with this, but that's why bicuriousity exists -- it's a degree of bisexuality. It's generally that you'll fool around with the same/opposite sex, but probably not have a relationship with them, or romantically enjoy them.

But I disagree about your definition of homophobia -- there are a lot of people who are homophobic that just really, really dislike gay people; it's just that in the media we read so much of people who inadvertently are outed when before they were homophobic.
 
mantidor said:
According to my shrink, and well any study I've read, everyone is bisexual to some degree, and purely heterosexual or homosexual persons are very, very rare. And after giving it much thought I think it makes sense, it's just not that easy for anyone to accept it, including gay people.

It's the root of homophobia, homophobia doesn't mean someone is afraid of gay people, it means they are afraid of their own homosexuality, and can't stand anything or anyone exciting that part of themselves, no matter how small or repressed it is.

i think it depends upon your definitions of bisexuality and are these studies the Kinsey ones?

similar to the definition of homosexual, you have both the identity and then you have MSMs.
 
mantidor said:
According to my shrink, and well any study I've read, everyone is bisexual to some degree, and purely heterosexual or homosexual persons are very, very rare. And after giving it much thought I think it makes sense, it's just not that easy for anyone to accept it, including gay people.

It's the root of homophobia, homophobia doesn't mean someone is afraid of gay people, it means they are afraid of their own homosexuality, and can't stand anything or anyone exciting that part of themselves, no matter how small or repressed it is.
My friend's (hot) mother was a therapist, and we had that exact same conversation. She also said that women are typically much more fluid on their sexuality scales and can find themselves being influenced one way or the other through life experience a lot more easily than men. She, a straight woman, went to a gay pride music festival with a friend a few years back and found herself becoming attracted to women because of the vibe around her. After the event, she found such attraction has disappeared and she's back to being straight. It was really interesting.

I mean, I was then analysing in my head that I was talking to my friend's (hot) mother about her lesbian sexual encounters. That was pretty surreal in the 'I have masturbation material for weeks to come' kind of way.
 
soco said:
i think it depends upon your definitions of bisexuality and are these studies the Kinsey ones?

similar to the definition of homosexual, you have both the identity and then you have MSMs.

yeah mainly the Kinsey studies. Also some things said by Freud.

ZephyrFate said:
But I disagree about your definition of homophobia -- there are a lot of people who are homophobic that just really, really dislike gay people; it's just that in the media we read so much of people who inadvertently are outed when before they were homophobic.

Thats precisely what I was talking about, the stereotype of "homophobes are closet cases" is now even in mainstream culture, but I was referring to the common straight people who can't accept homosexuality, The theory argues they just can't accept their homosexual side, so the have to violently reject it on the outside. And that is because the theory is based on the premise that everyone is bisexual. It's just an attempt to understand homophobia, because it really doesn't make much sense, why would you hate gay people? and not a simple hate, but something so deep that leads people to actual violence.

It sounds very obvious but when you invert the situation it can be hard to accept it, and easier to understand the opposite side. At first I was very hesitant to accept such thing for me, that I had a heterosexual side, but I have to accept I got turned on by giant breasts when I was very young. Now is one thing to accept your own nature and move on without needing to act on it and one thing entirely is to absolutely deny it.

And as some say rather crudely, a hole is a hole, anyone giving you head is going to arouse you, we are humans, we enjoy human contact on every level from hugs to sex, since psychology studies human behavior in that general view, almost everyone is bisexual if you see it in that angle.

Another thing is as you said, being romantically involved and wanting a relationship. I guess thats the difference between the almost medical terms of "homosexual" and "heterosexual" and the more social terms like "gay" and "straight". We know gay people can be in a marriage for years and have kids, and I doubt they would say the sex wasn't enjoyable at some level when they conceived said kids, it doesn't mean they are what we know as "bisexual" people, because they also say they were miserable in the relationship. But I'm pretty sure an orgasm is an orgasm, at any level and with whoever (or whatever) you got it.

tl:dr sexuality is so much more than just genitals and the act of intercourse.
 
What I mean by being romantically attracted to the gender(s) you prefer is that you're not hiding from that attraction -- a closeted gay man in a straight marriage is lying to himself. He's still gay, despite his beard of a wife. That's how I determine someone is actually gay, straight, or bisexual. When you're not lying to yourself and can say you love that person for what they are.

Fooling around, like experimentation, falls outside of this, though. It's all fun.
 
blame space said:
so basically you believe in soul mates and whichever sex your soul mate is, that's your sexuality.

*twirls finger to temple*
Unless like you both genders, in which case it could be one or the other.
 
It was hard to tell exactly how hot he was with that voice. Luckily there was one with him actually talking and he's very hot <3

I do think he might be gay as well.
 
Cosmic Bus said:
I sat across from an exact Pique clone in a Vancouver bar on Saturday night.

You should've taken a picture.

Anyway, Craigery Morgan. Craigery...heheh. I have never heard of that name before. Yeah he's very hot, and he knows it too. Strutting around with his shirt off. Pfft! This guy.
 
I think I'm bicurious. I get turned on by lesbian porn and I'm really curious to have sex with another girl. But that's as far as I'd go since I have a boyfriend.
 
Reza_Neko said:
I think I'm bicurious. I get turned on by lesbian porn and I'm really curious to have sex with another girl. But that's as far as I'd go since I have a boyfriend.

Maybe your boyfriend would like a threesome.
 
Reza_Neko said:
Actually that's not a bad idea. Assuming he doesn't leave me for the other girl :lol *angry look*

Hold audtions and you'll have the final say on who the other girl will be.
 
ZephyrFate said:
i recommend Running Without Sound, a short indie film that was shown on LOGO a bit ago. It's on Youtube.

ah sweet! I'll check it out. I'm a huge sucker for LGBT docs.

I have Bear Nation on the DVR waiting for me. WOOF! <3
 
True, but the benefit of text is that I can choose to read it in any voice I want.

Like, I read your post as a gentle whisper in my ear.
 
AkuMifune said:
True, but the benefit of text is that I can choose to read it in any voice I want.

Like, I read your post as a gentle whisper in my ear.
everyone should read my posts as a gentle whisper in their ear

also, craigery morgan is now my definition of perfect-looking man. i have decided this just now.

I love constantly redefining my standards

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7rRZK5r5tCA&playnext=1&videos=hq8JMvqEkhI&feature=mfu_in_order

I'd stain his carpets so hard
 
Botolf said:
I can't make heads or tails of it. Scathingly bitter or disarmingly sweet o_O

I really don't get it at all either :/

Since he didn't refute those that took it as a sarcastic comment I guess it was that though.
 
It would be really awesome if we could actually discuss coming out in this thread instead of having it degenerate into "hey look at some cute boiz" like every other gay thread on every forum on the internet. Isn't this the kind of shit that got the other thread closed?
 
Roto13 said:
It would be really awesome if we could actually discuss coming out in this thread instead of having it degenerate into "hey look at some cute boiz" like every other gay thread on every forum on the internet. Isn't this the kind of shit that got the other thread closed?
You should realize that every other thread on gaf is basically a potential "hey look at some cute girlz" thread in the making. Gaygaf doesn't have that. I click a random thread and I get bombarded with bouncytits.gif, dat ass, Christina Hendrix, she so fine, ... I don't have a problem with that btw.

I didn't even realize that the other thread "We're here, we're..." got closed. The two new threads seem like a weird format, because the thread title doesn't really sound like silliness and random chatter is allowed. GLBT coming out thread = srs bnss.

But if you're not ok with pics of guys being posted here, we can take the straight gaf approach, and hijack other threads with them. :P
 
Roto13 said:
It would be really awesome if we could actually discuss coming out in this thread instead of having it degenerate into "hey look at some cute boiz" like every other gay thread on every forum on the internet. Isn't this the kind of shit that got the other thread closed?

nah a bitchfit by posters regarding the black thread got gaygaf closed. And Gaygaf made a seperate gay porn blog for most of the cute boiz stuff.


R.I.P queer thread <3

edit: also relax. we're always here to support guys coming out. I don't think posters will be scared off by Zephyrfate's crush.
 
Souldriver said:
You should realize that every other thread on gaf is basically a potential "hey look at some cute girlz" thread in the making. Gaygaf doesn't have that. I click a random thread and I get bombarded with bouncytits.gif, dat ass, Christina Hendrix, she so fine, ... I don't have a problem with that btw.

I didn't even realize that the other thread "We're here, we're..." got closed. The two new threads seem like a weird format, because the thread title doesn't really sound like silliness and random chatter is allowed. GLBT coming out thread = srs bnss.

But if you're not ok with pics of guys being posted here, we can take the straight gaf approach, and hijack other threads with them. :P
I realize that and I hate that so much. It's sad and pathetic. You can't post a picture of a woman in any context on this forum without the NeoVirgins creaming themselves. It would be nice if we were above that kind of behaviour, though.
 
Roto13 said:
I realize that and I hate that so much. It's sad and pathetic. You can't post a picture of a woman in any context on this forum without the NeoVirgins creaming themselves. It would be nice if we were above that kind of behaviour, though.

Nah, it keeps things fun and random. And meanwhile we've done a ton of discussing Coming Out.

Stop being such a debbie downer and enjoy life.
 
Roto13 said:
It would be really awesome if we could actually discuss coming out in this thread instead of having it degenerate into "hey look at some cute boiz" like every other gay thread on every forum on the internet. Isn't this the kind of shit that got the other thread closed?

Most of this thread has been about coming out. So the conversation changed a bit briefly, no big deal. I'm sure if somebody came in with a relevant comment about coming out it would be focused on at that point.
 
i_am_ben said:
nah a bitchfit by posters regarding the black thread got gaygaf closed. And Gaygaf made a seperate gay porn blog for most of the cute boiz stuff.


R.I.P queer thread <3

edit: also relax. we're always here to support guys coming out. I don't think posters will be scared off by Zephyrfate's crush.
hey many other posters responded to what I said and it was ORIGINALLY meant to help people who are coming out by showing, 'here's this hot gay guy who is totally okay with himself and also, at the same time, hilarious' (besides we really don't have a place to put this kind of stuff anymore, and it wasn't even a pic!)
 
I randomly ran into my sister last night at my job (the one who sent me the message telling me she disowned me for being bisexual). She was civil, and asked for my number. I told her to get it from our mom lol. My mom was telling her that she needs to accept it, and my mom told me her response was "I know, it's just so hard." I really don't understand why it's so hard for her to accept my sexuality. I never talk about it. The only time I threw it in her face was when I posted pics of same-sex couples making out on facebook when she randomly went off on me about it. I did it to be facetious. It's going to be even harder for her to accept me now when she finds out I have a boyfriend. :lol
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Top Bottom