Just got done listening to the Jeff Q&A off of jefflr and something struck me a strange. There was a guy talking to Jeff after the GB panel who mentioned his bipolar diagnosis. If that the same dude from the Jeff Q&A panel? And if so, did he really take up a slot just so that he could say something in front of a crowd that he'd already said in person? Because that seems messed up if I'm right.
So I'm the guy who mentioned stated that during the slot. I had originally met Jeff back at a PAX Prime a long long time ago. It was a fun and quick hi and bye, I was attending as media that year and didn't really have the courage to tell him then. Some time after that PAX the news that Ryan passed hit and I immediately regretted not speaking up. I felt like I missed my chance to let the crew know. I didn't know if I'd ever attend another PAX again but after South was announced, I decided to go due to the proximity of where I currently reside (Austin).
At the event, I was wracking my head about it considering how to say it or if it was even appropriate at all. In the rush of trying to see old friends, I missed the panel and small get together on the first day but had still planned to attend the last one. The original purpose of my statement was not only to thank him and the staff that was a part of the Gamespot/Giantbomb crew but to explain the impact something as little as talking about video games has on other people's lives. I'm sure I'm not the only one and everyone also has their own they've either gone through or are currently going through.
But in my mind it was all more eloquent than it came out. My mind went from thought out to a jumbled mess. It's hard to speak about. My father was a monster. I honestly didn't think I would ever have escaped it or gone on to continue living. I didn't want to take up anyone's time or cause people to lose a slot that could have better used the time so I tried to rush the question through and bring it back up with a little levity to end it. My attempt to give it any coherence beyond a thank you failed and in hopes to somewhat salvage the fact that I had just screwed up, I went to clarify and quickly shake his hand to leave. But I know I could have handled it better. I wasn't trying to grandstand or waste people's valuable time with Jeff.
Sorry if I upset anyone with it.