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[scaffa]

Just raging because of a missed opportunity. Where I live just doesn't do me any favours. Nothing serious, just had to vent what just happened for a bit.

Getting those chat invites are annoying. Mostly I try to stay away from anyone that lives more then 2 hours away from me, you can't do anything on impulse and I do believe that is an important factor. Planning a meet up like that is like arranging a whole vacation, atleast it feels like it. 2 Hours travel in the Netherlands feels like forever and is expensive as hell.

 

[SpectreFire]

Ha, I actually deleted it, didnt want to come off as ... whatever.

We watched a movie at her place, when it was over, I said, "Its after midnight, if I kiss you now, is it still a good night kiss?"

When she didn't look worried, I kissed her.

Obviously, nothing magical about the move. I dont think it even makes any sense now. I just gave her a chance to run before moving in, then I moved in.

That's one of the reasons why I didn't want to make a move the two times we've slept together. There wasn't an exit option in case it didn't work out. She couldn't leave the time she stayed over at my place, and I couldn't leave the time I went over to her's. If the move didn't go over too well, then it would've been an awkward and uncomfortable night. Add that to the fact that I specifically told her that she could sleep in my bed and that I wouldn't make a move the first night, and the second night, she asked me if I was coming over and expecting sex, and I said no.

 

[Danielsan]

Getting those chat invites are annoying. Mostly I try to stay away from anyone that lives more then 2 hours away from me, you can't do anything on impulse and I do believe that is an important factor. Planning a meet up like that is like arranging a whole vacation, atleast it feels like it. 2 Hours travel in the Netherlands feels like forever and is expensive as hell.

Very true. An hour and a half is about my limit. Which is roughly what it takes from my house to Amsterdam. I'm lucky to have free public transport during the weekdays as a student, but yeah, it's ridiculously expensive otherwise.

 

[G-Bus]

I made a post in here a few weeks back about a girl I was talking to over a dating site. I thought it was over because I didn't have a picture of me on my profile at the time, when I put one up she stopped talking to me. I got called an idiot, etc etc. Well, turns out she was just super busy that week and we continued to chat over the next week. I got her phone number and it was about every couple days we would send text messages, and eventually it was close to everyday.

Due to the distance between us and conflicting schedules it's been hard finding time to meet. Well, we had our first date this weekend. She had to work later that day so we met up for lunch and then walked around for a couple of hours, talking and window shopping. I think everything went well? She ended up being a lot prettier than her pictures made her out to be. Conversation seemed to flow along nicely and nothing seemed forced. Now, this is pretty much the first date I've been on... ever. I felt like it was more friends hanging out than a date. Not sure how things are supposed to go/feel? First date and all. I think maybe I should have made more of an effort to touch her and what not? We hugged when we met and hugged when we went our separate ways. That's pretty much it as far as contact goes.

When I left I got on the skytrain and she sent me a text and it went back and forth a bit. So I'm going to assume it didn't go THAT bad. I guess one of my questions is how long do I wait to talk to her again, try and initiate another date?

I feel like I'm over thinking/analyzing the situation but I can't help it. Hence the reason I've made this post. Little advice and insight would help. I guess my biggest concern is I don't think I'm that attractive and I really don't want to get friendzoned. If it happens it happens but holy crap I want a girlfriend badly. So much love and no one to give it to. I've been told by numerous girls I'm quite the "catch" and would make a good boyfriend but I can't ever seem to get a date.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

Now see, I was afraid of a response like this, because no offense, but it's so typical. It doesn't exactly get to the crux of my problem here, which is the fact that I enjoy hanging out with her regardless. I like making friends with girls, but at the same time, I wouldn't mind dating them either. I didn't want to pull a move on her because of two reasons, one, it's gotten kind of old and boring. I've tried that all the time and it hasn't led to anything other than a superficial relationship, secondly, I realize that if you make out or sleep with someone, one or two things happen. Their feelings continue to reciprocate and you move into a romantic relationship, or they get second thoughts and your original relationship gets strained.

If this is the case, why not make a move? You've already said she's moving in a different direction than you so getting rebuffed is no big loss. If you move into a romantic relationship then her path could change.

Honestly, don't all relationships carry a bit of uncertainty? No one can see the future. Maybe she gets an awesome job here. Or you get an awesome job where she lives.

 

[SpectreFire]

If this is the case, why not make a move? You've already said she's moving in a different direction than you so getting rebuffed is no big loss. If you move into a romantic relationship then her path could change.

Honestly, don't all relationships carry a bit of uncertainty? No one can see the future. Maybe she gets an awesome job here. Or you get an awesome job where she lives.

But that's not til a year from now. She'll go overseas for a one year work study and then she'll be back for a year or two. Regardless, it'd be fun having someone to hang out with this fall at least. Basically it boils down to, I kind of do want to continue just hanging out with this person, and I'm afraid, if I make a move, then it would end that hanging out and all contact. At the same time, yeah, I would like to date her if I could.

I realize it's a risk/reward situation and I hate it for that. If I make a move, then there won't be a middleground afterwards. It goes completely good, or it goes completely bad. And you know what? Every time I've tried doing this, it goes completely sour.

 

[greenry]

But that's not til a year from now. She'll go overseas for a one year work study and then she'll be back for a year or two. Regardless, it'd be fun having someone to hang out with this fall at least. Basically it boils down to, I kind of do want to continue just hanging out with this person, and I'm afraid, if I make a move, then it would end that hanging out and all contact. At the same time, yeah, I would like to date her if I could.

I realize it's a risk/reward situation and I hate it for that. If I make a move, then there won't be a middleground afterwards. It goes completely good, or it goes completely bad. And you know what? Every time I've tried doing this, it goes completely sour.

Then don't do it.

 

[Flying Toaster]

But that's not til a year from now. She'll go overseas for a one year work study and then she'll be back for a year or two. Regardless, it'd be fun having someone to hang out with this fall at least. Basically it boils down to, I kind of do want to continue just hanging out with this person, and I'm afraid, if I make a move, then it would end that hanging out and all contact. At the same time, yeah, I would like to date her if I could.

I realize it's a risk/reward situation and I hate it for that. If I make a move, then there won't be a middleground afterwards. It goes completely good, or it goes completely bad. And you know what? Every time I've tried doing this, it goes completely sour.

I think you should try it. If her friend moves to town anyways I doubt you are going to want to be around for that. Honestly take a jump see how you land.

 

[Attackthebase]

But that's not til a year from now. She'll go overseas for a one year work study and then she'll be back for a year or two. Regardless, it'd be fun having someone to hang out with this fall at least. Basically it boils down to, I kind of do want to continue just hanging out with this person, and I'm afraid, if I make a move, then it would end that hanging out and all contact. At the same time, yeah, I would like to date her if I could.

I realize it's a risk/reward situation and I hate it for that. If I make a move, then there won't be a middleground afterwards. It goes completely good, or it goes completely bad. And you know what? Every time I've tried doing this, it goes completely sour.

Make a move. I tried simply being friends with this girl I had feelings for (I was in an eerily similar situation as you). It was emotionally draining on me. I eventually cut her out of my life completely (out of FB and deleted her number), and I feel a lot better now than her being in my life. I don't regret what happened at all, since I made a move, and even though I failed, I don't have the regret of "what if."

Though, I would say it gets to me once in a while, but for the most part, I'm in my own world filled with happiness and peppiness.

 

[Etrian Oddity]

Hahaha, started seeing this girl (the nice girl I mentioned in my last post), and call me a puss, but the hardest part isn't the dates or anything--it's playing cool in the downtime between when we go out, lol. Just excited to actually have a girl who's excited to spend time with me, I'm consciously forcing myself to make sure not to smother or overdo this. XD

 

[ThanksVision]

^^^ I know that feeling all too well.
So me and this girl still haven't kissed yet... I know she likes me, she tells all her friends and invites me to hangout with her, but we end up just having really long hugs and holding each other's hands before I leave. In HS btw. I made a partial move, but she seemed hesitant. I don't know what could be stopping her from wanting a kiss goodnight though. Any advice on making the first move?

 

[SpectreFire]

Make a move. I tried simply being friends with this girl I had feelings for (I was in an eerily similar situation as you). It was emotionally draining on me. I eventually cut her out of my life completely (out of FB and deleted her number), and I feel a lot better now than her being in my life. I don't regret what happened at all, since I made a move, and even though I failed, I don't have the regret of "what if."

Though, I would say it gets to me once in a while, but for the most part, I'm in my own world filled with happiness and peppiness.

Care to detail your situation? You can PM if you want.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

God damn it. I have a couple of dates this week and I think I might be coming down with a cold. I've already popped a couple vitamin C pills and I've been drinking gallons of water.

Anything else you guys can recommend to flush this bug out of me by Wednesday afternoon.

 

[JEKKI]

dang. nobody commented or addressed my last issue... I guess my problems are so unique lol.

so anyways, new story/situation... what would you do?!?!?!?!

today I was grabbing lunch and saw this real pretty girl. I wanted to say hi and kept looking at her, trying to fish for eye contact but she never gave it to me!!! That's the one thing I wanted to signal me and make it easier to say hi how r u, but I never got it and just ended up leaving once my food was ready.

Here is the situation as far as how the place was like:

small hoagie shop, I was there alone, she was there with her 3 female coworkers and not really engaged in any convos with them (just standing around waiting for their food), and the place is SUPER crowded with white collar workers on their lunch break so I dont really stand out from the crowd...

sure I can just walk up and say something but the atmosphere in the place is very busy & rushed & crowded and without initial eye contact and a smile I just didn't feel comfortable making a move.

so yah what would u do?!?! missed opportunity, no opportunity, or did I just outright fuck up??

 

[SuperAndroid17]

dang. nobody commented or addressed my last issue... I guess my problems are so unique lol.

so anyways, new story/situation... what would you do?!?!?!?!

today I was grabbing lunch and saw this real pretty girl. I wanted to say hi and kept looking at her, trying to fish for eye contact but she never gave it to me!!! That's the one thing I wanted to signal me and make it easier to say hi how r u, but I never got it and just ended up leaving once my food was ready.

Here is the situation as far as how the place was like:

small hoagie shop, I was there alone, she was there with her 3 female coworkers and not really engaged in any convos with them (just standing around waiting for their food), and the place is SUPER crowded with white collar workers on their lunch break so I dont really stand out from the crowd...

sure I can just walk up and say something but the atmosphere in the place is very busy & rushed & crowded and without initial eye contact and a smile I just didn't feel comfortable making a move.

so yah what would u do?!?! missed opportunity, no opportunity, or did I just outright fuck up??

You didn't fuck up , It was nothing .

Sounds like you need to work on yourself in social outings. I suggest you practice somewhere that isn't so crowded. You lack confidence , build some. Target practice!

 

[SRG01]

God damn it. I have a couple of dates this week and I think I might be coming down with a cold. I've already popped a couple vitamin C pills and I've been drinking gallons of water.

Anything else you guys can recommend to flush this bug out of me by Wednesday afternoon.

Go to sleep.

 

[Rikkun]

dang. nobody commented or addressed my last issue... I guess my problems are so unique lol.

so anyways, new story/situation... what would you do?!?!?!?!

today I was grabbing lunch and saw this real pretty girl. I wanted to say hi and kept looking at her, trying to fish for eye contact but she never gave it to me!!! That's the one thing I wanted to signal me and make it easier to say hi how r u, but I never got it and just ended up leaving once my food was ready.

Here is the situation as far as how the place was like:

small hoagie shop, I was there alone, she was there with her 3 female coworkers and not really engaged in any convos with them (just standing around waiting for their food), and the place is SUPER crowded with white collar workers on their lunch break so I dont really stand out from the crowd...

sure I can just walk up and say something but the atmosphere in the place is very busy & rushed & crowded and without initial eye contact and a smile I just didn't feel comfortable making a move.

so yah what would u do?!?! missed opportunity, no opportunity, or did I just outright fuck up??

Feed her VS' pants.

Or just wait for tomorrow.

 

[Attackthebase]

Care to detail your situation? You can PM if you want.

A little late now, I'll send you a PM with details in the morning after my yoga practice.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

But that's not til a year from now. She'll go overseas for a one year work study and then she'll be back for a year or two. Regardless, it'd be fun having someone to hang out with this fall at least. Basically it boils down to, I kind of do want to continue just hanging out with this person, and I'm afraid, if I make a move, then it would end that hanging out and all contact. At the same time, yeah, I would like to date her if I could.

I realize it's a risk/reward situation and I hate it for that. If I make a move, then there won't be a middleground afterwards. It goes completely good, or it goes completely bad. And you know what? Every time I've tried doing this, it goes completely sour.

If you don't make a move, then you can't wonder "what if". There is the slim chance that you grow closer over the years and go from friends to a relationship, but those situations are rare. If you stand pat it's the friend zone.

A further thought on the guy best friend; maybe they dated first and then realized they were better off as friends? It's very rare but it can happen. Maybe the guy is hanging around hoping they'll get back together.

 

[JEKKI]

You didn't fuck up , It was nothing .

Sounds like you need to work on yourself in social outings. I suggest you practice somewhere that isn't so crowded. You lack confidence , build some. Target practice!

I already brought up the issue of practice in my other post... kinda, I guess.

basically I wanna go out but my only option is to go by myself since the friends that I've been seeing lately and often are way too nerdy or broke for women...

one of my immediate goals is to reach out to some other friends I dont see too often and see if theyre down for sum drinkingzzzzz.....

anyways, I just finished cooking and on a whim decided to sign up for POF.

yo there are maaaad attractive girls on this site~!!!!

and by maaaad I mean 5... which is better than OKC which only had 2...

regardless Ima leave the site alone for a week or 2... tomorrow is for drinkingzzzzz.....

 

[SpectreFire]

If you don't make a move, then you can't wonder "what if". There is the slim chance that you grow closer over the years and go from friends to a relationship, but those situations are rare. If you stand pat it's the friend zone.

A further thought on the guy best friend; maybe they dated first and then realized they were better off as friends? It's very rare but it can happen. Maybe the guy is hanging around hoping they'll get back together.

She's here 4 years tops.

Also, that's kind of a path that my mind went down when I thought of her guy friend. According to her, he's almost like her mom. She had to tell him that we met on transit and that I'm gay so that he doesn't flip out at her (for meeting people online I think? Which is kind of hypocritical considering how they met), he's apparently very over-protective.

 

[GiJoccin]

She's here 4 years tops.

Also, that's kind of a path that my mind went down when I thought of her guy friend. According to her, he's almost like her mom. She had to tell him that we met on transit and that I'm gay so that he doesn't flip out at her (for meeting people online I think? Which is kind of hypocritical considering how they met), he's apparently very over-protective.

In that sort of situation, I'd probably go for it. But be wary - I wouldn't get paranoid about it, but be realistic. If after a few weeks things seem off and she talks about the other guy all the time, might be a good reason to bail. But I don't really see it as a reason to not try at all.

And 4 years is really far down the line... Plans change, you never know. That's a talk to have down the line.

 

[Attackthebase]

...

This was meant to be a PM to Spectrefire.

 

[FairyD]

How does one recover from not showing up to a first date?

Is all hope lost or can I make up an excuse as to why I didn't show?

I actually didn't show because it was raining and I didn't feel like going out after work.

 

[reilo]

She's here 4 years tops.

Also, that's kind of a path that my mind went down when I thought of her guy friend. According to her, he's almost like her mom. She had to tell him that we met on transit and that I'm gay so that he doesn't flip out at her (for meeting people online I think? Which is kind of hypocritical considering how they met), he's apparently very over-protective.

Baiiiiiiil!

 

[samus i am]

How does one recover from not showing up to a first date?

Is all hope lost or can I make up an excuse as to why I didn't show?

I actually didn't show because it was raining and I didn't feel like going out after work.

You're a jerk.

 

[SpectreFire]

Baiiiiiiil!

I'd hardly think that's bail worthy.

 

[msv]

She's here 4 years tops.

Also, that's kind of a path that my mind went down when I thought of her guy friend. According to her, he's almost like her mom. She had to tell him that we met on transit and that I'm gay so that he doesn't flip out at her (for meeting people online I think? Which is kind of hypocritical considering how they met), he's apparently very over-protective.

Well, apparently he's not overprotective since she's lying to him. Why would she do that? If she doesn't like how he acts then they should have a disagreement, and either settle it or part ways. Going behind someone's back and lying to them is oh so very deceitful, and I know I could never trust a person like that. So if you're thinking of going towards anything serious with this girl, DONT.

 

[reilo]

I'd hardly think that's bail worthy.

You don't? She has an overprotective who-the-hell-knows-what dude (if you will) living hours away that would flip a shit if she was just friends with a straight guy, and you don't see that as a reason for concern? She's either into you enough to let him know that she wants to date you, or she has an emotional connection with him that you won't be able to overcome.

Either way, it speaks to a huge amount of immaturity on her part that she talked about you as "a gay friend she meant on a train". That's some bullshit you shouldn't be putting up with.

 

[SpectreFire]

Well, apparently he's not overprotective since she's lying to him. Why would she do that? If she doesn't like how he acts then they should have a disagreement, and either settle it or part ways. Going behind someone's back and lying to them is oh so very deceitful, and I know I could never trust a person like that. So if you're thinking of going towards anything serious with this girl, DONT.

But everyone lies, it would just be completely hypocritical and unrealistic of me to say that I expect better of someone when you, myself and everyone else does the same thing. It's a tiny lie, I don't think that's the issue here.

You don't? She has an overprotective who-the-hell-knows-what dude (if you will) living hours away that would flip a shit if she was just friends with a straight guy, and you don't see that as a reason for concern? She's either into you enough to let him know that she wants to date you, or she has an emotional connection with him that you won't be able to overcome.

Either way, it speaks to a huge amount of immaturity on her part that she talked about you as "a gay friend she meant on a train". That's some bullshit you shouldn't be putting up with.

It didn't come off as anything serious. She just didn't want to hear his lecturing over it. I'd hardly call it a huge amount of immaturity. Maybe a tad, but that's about it.

 

[Spacebar]

No updates from jrob huh? I was wondering what has happened to him after he slept with the mom and daughter the same day.

 

[msv]

But everyone lies, it would just be completely hypocritical and unrealistic of me to say that I expect better of someone when you, myself and everyone else does the same thing. It's a tiny lie, I don't think that's the issue here.

Everyone lies? You lie to close friends like that? It's not a tiny lie, she's lying about things that she knows he cares about. And I absolutely resent your accusation of me lying like that, I would never do such a thing. White lies alright, but this is something completely different.

The guy is obviously interested in her, and she knows it. She's obviously not making it clear to him that she's not interested in him (or she IS) and because of that she's lying to him about this, tugging him along. This isn't some small white lie, why would you even think that?

 

[reilo]

Everyone lies? You lie to close friends like that? It's not a tiny lie, she's lying about things that she knows he cares about. And I absolutely resent your accusation of me lying like that, I would never do such a thing. White lies alright, but this is something completely different.

The guy is obviously interested in her, and she knows it. She's obviously not making it clear to him that she's not interested in him (or she IS) and because of that she's lying to him about this, tugging him along. This isn't some small white lie, why would you even think that?

Plus the fact that the girl and friend dated before...

 

[SRG01]

Spectre, if she has to lie about you, it means that either she's sparing him from being hurt or that she doesn't quite know where you two stand. Or perhaps both. Him being overprotective is one thing, her actions are another. If she can't be straightforward with him, can she be straightforward with you?

 

[soultron]

Spectre, if she has to lie about you, it means that either she's sparing him from being hurt or that she doesn't quite know where you two stand. Or perhaps both. Him being overprotective is one thing, her actions are another. If she can't be straightforward with him, can she be straightforward with you?

Probably not. The classic "I don't want to hurt him" ["him" being the BFF guy friend.] fallacy girls (notice use of "girls," not "women.") often enjoy employing because they've not yet matured and grown a fully-formed spine. Don't waste time on girls who play that game.

 

[SpectreFire]

I guess I just can't see why you guys are making a big deal out of this. Maybe I just a have low standard for this sort of stuff.

 

[soultron]

I guess I just can't see why you guys are making a big deal out of this. Maybe I just a have low standard for this sort of stuff.

I'd be questioning why this girl has to protect and baby some butthurt friend that's clearly pining over her. Oh yeah, it's because she doesn't want to lose an attention faucet that she can turn on and off at will.

Lying is also unattractive at the same time. And the fact that she's misrepresented your sexuality to someone is shitty too. What if, to cover her tracks (to stop it from reaching back to her BFF dude) she has to tell all of her other (read: female) friends that you're gay too? Then you're instantly disqualified from them.

I don't even understand why she had to make the jump in manufacturing you as a gay non-threat to her BFF. Perhaps it's because she, herself, isn't attracted to you.

I don't know. This shit is just bizarre though. All I can say is that this girl is already flying so many red flags and it's just the beginning.

 

[reilo]

I'd be questioning why this girl has to protect and baby some butthurt friend that's clearly pining over her. Oh yeah, it's because she doesn't want to lose an attention faucet that she can turn on and off at will.

Lying is also unattractive at the same time. And the fact that she's misrepresented your sexuality to someone is shitty too. What if, to cover her tracks (to stop it from reaching back to her BFF dude) she has to tell all of her other (read: female) friends that you're gay too? Then you're instantly disqualified from them.

I don't even understand why she had to make the jump in manufacturing you as a gay non-threat to her BFF. Perhaps it's because she, herself, isn't attracted to you.

I don't know. This shit is just bizarre though. All I can say is that this girl is already flying so many red flags and it's just the beginning.

The even more worrisome part is the fact that they slept in the same bed together twice but didn't have sex. There are far too many red flags being raised here, but Spectre insists that she is "different". This lying to her BFF about his sexuality is just astounding.

 

[SpectreFire]

Lying is also unattractive at the same time.

And I don't accept the fact that I should judge someone making a minor lie when the fact is that I would lie about things just as much, big or small.

Yeah, it's unattractive, and yeah, everyone does it on varying scales.

The even more worrisome part is the fact that they slept in the same bed together twice but didn't have sex. There are far too many red flags being raised here, but Spectre insists that she is "different". This lying to her BFF about his sexuality is just astounding.

Why is that worrisome? And when did I insist she's "different"?

 

[Jamesfrom818]

No updates from jrob huh? I was wondering what has happened to him after he slept with the mom and daughter the same day.

Give him time. Its not easy writing fiction.

 

[soultron]

Spectre, I don't want to sound like a dick because I always enjoy your posts. You shouldn't have disqualified yourself though. When you said, "Okay, I'm not going to sleep with you," you completely shut the door on yourself.

You could've turned your own (lack of) sexual needs on her by saying something like, "I already have a friend with benefits, so you might be safe tonight." Depending on the girl, you might make yourself a valued target with this; showing you're relaxed, already getting it from someone ("Now that I have a GF, all these girls are approaching me! Wahhh!" kind of thing.), but also left it ambiguous as to whether or not you'd try anything. Of course, some girls might think you're being a player by even considering having sex with someone else when you're already getting it.

Or, better still, you could've just not said anything. At all. I'm not one to recommend vocally expressing your feelings on something like this. This way, you don't disqualify yourself or turn a certain type of girl against you with a "gamble" response like the one I listed above. You're free to simply act on whatever you feel if you simply stop expressing too much verbally.

 

[msv]

And I don't accept the fact that I should judge someone making a minor lie when the fact is that I would lie about things just as much, big or small.

Yeah, it's unattractive, and yeah, everyone does it on varying scales.

Well, it kinda baffles me that you're playing the lying down like that, but to each his own. I guess if you're like that as well, you two might be well together? As long as you don't mind getting cheated on, which will probably happen. Or at least lied to about a lot of things (that she thinks might upset you). If you really don't mind all of this, then go right ahead.

 

[Lone_Prodigy]

If she lied to her friend about you being gay, what if you two actually started dating? Are you going to go behind his back? Seems like a lot of effort to go through.

It sounds like if she starts a relationship with someone (has she dated anyone since she broke up with her friend?) she may have to choose between her boyfriend and her friend.

 

[soultron]

And I don't accept the fact that I should judge someone making a minor lie when the fact is that I would lie about things just as much, big or small.

Your sexuality is a large part of your personal identity.

 

[SpectreFire]

Spectre, I don't want to sound like a dick because I always enjoy your posts. You shouldn't have disqualified yourself though. When you said, "Okay, I'm not going to sleep with you," you completely shut the door on yourself.

Oh, I was well aware of that possibility, but at the end of the day, I just really didn't care that much. Like I said, I'd be fully content just hanging out with her, but I wouldn't mind dating her either.

This whole situation just kind of boils down to me being not really sure on where I stand exactly in terms of my own needs and with whats going on in her mind.

If she lied to her friend about you being gay, what if you two actually started dating? Are you going to go behind his back? Seems like a lot of effort to go through.

It sounds like if she starts a relationship with someone (has she dated anyone since she broke up with her friend?) she may have to choose between her boyfriend and her friend.

From what I can tell of her, her friend doesn't seem to be a preventive barrier between her and her doing anything really. If she wants to date someone, she seems like she would regardless. But I could be wrong.

Your sexuality is a large part of your personal identity.

To be fair, stuff like that amuses me more than it offends me.

At the end of the day, if I don't date her, I'm not going to be heartbroken or that upset over it, and if I don't keep her as a friend, well, I'll be disappointed for a few days, but that's about it. That said, at this point, based on my current impression of her, I'd rather have her in my life than not. The thing I'm just confused by is her whole situation and where she stands.

 

[mj1108]

I guess I can contribute now a little to this thread as over the last few weeks I have learned that you never know what will happen tomorrow.

A month ago this woman joined our cycling group. She had just moved here about a month before that. She's 42, single, no kids, athletic...I'm almost 34, single, no kids, athletic. We unexpectedly hit it off right away in such a way I have never had before with anyone -- friends, with women I've dated in the past -- nobody.

Over the last almost 3 weeks we've exchanged over 1,500 text messages, whenever we go out we can sit and talk for hours about anything and time just flies like it's nothing. She's the easiest person to talk to that I have ever met and feel completely comfortable telling her stuff -- and she's the exact same way. The conversations are never dull and there's no low points at all. We talk and joke about anything and everything. We feel like we've known each other forever.

The last couple of weeks have been a complete mindfuck for the both of us as neither of us had ever hit it off like this with someone before.

I had noticed signs over the last couple of weeks that she's interested....and last night she admitted it as did I. It's been an unreal few weeks so we're both cautious and want to wait a little before actually pursuing something but the feeling is there.

So SingleGAF....the moral of my story is this: you never know when/how/where you could meet someone....it could happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

 

[soultron]

I guess I can contribute now a little to this thread as over the last few weeks I have learned that you never know what will happen tomorrow.

A month ago this woman joined our cycling group. She had just moved here about a month before that. She's 42, single, no kids, athletic...I'm almost 34, single, no kids, athletic. We unexpectedly hit it off right away in such a way I have never had before with anyone -- friends, with women I've dated in the past -- nobody.

So SingleGAF....the moral of my story is this: you never know when/how/where you could meet someone....it could happen to anyone, anywhere, anytime.

You did great because you increased your odds at meeting someone by joining a special interest group. This is what more people need to do! :]

 

[The Hermit]

guys, any advice in forgetting a girl that has no interest in you whatsoever?

 

[~Kinggi~]

You did great because you increased your odds at meeting someone by joining a special interest group. This is what more people need to do! :]

I feel it is the only solution to my problem but honestly the whole 'join a club' thing seems utterly silly to me, and i dont even know where to begin. Shit sucks.

 

[Jamesfrom818]

guys, any advice in forgetting a girl that has no interest in you whatsoever?

New girl