So, this girl at work I'm pretty sure doesn't give two shits about me and her going out. Not, that I can't move on with my life or anything but I have am just curious. I know there is probably not a "right" answer to this question but, why would someone answer yes to going out to someone and then never get back to them? Was she afraid to hurt my feelings by saying no? Is she one that does that kind of shit because they think its funny? I don't know but I keep telling myself to let it go. It's gonna be hard since I work with her.
Girl/Dating Age Part 2: A combined effort to give advice for those in need
- Thread starter -PXG-
- Start date
- Status
Atramental said:
If you are referring to meeting girls without forced social situations, then yes your selection decreases rapidly outside of college.
However, your opportunity to meet girls dramatically increases because you finished school and have time to do more things. It's just a matter of committing to going out and having fun.
Baconbitz said:
The first date never matters. It's just coffee and a crazy check.
Move on. Millions of other ladies out there waiting for your approach. That's very immature of her to ignore you too. Her lost though. Her 'not interest' does not and I repeat does not decrease your value as a person whatsoever. So go search another lady out and ask. Keep asking and have fun with it and a positive thinking.Baconbitz said:
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Was supposed to go to the beach today with a girl. Turns out she was feeling a little sicker than she thought. I went to Rite Aid to get her some medicine, we watched some TV and then she knocked out on the couch.
Atramental
Banned
Shit. Well I guess I'd better start working on some sort of "game plan". Maybe I'll get lucky next semester or during my Senior year. Hopefully. :/ecurbj said:
More opportunity, you say? Well, I guess that'll be my plan B.SRG01 said:
Easy, she didn't want to hurt your feelings. Especially if it was face to face when she said yes you could take her out. She probably to afraid to confront you now because of the situation that just unfolded. She led you to believe you had a chance. It was wrong what she did. But better for you to take the feelings hurt then her. Because we men can shake shit off like that.Baconbitz said:
airmangataosenai
Member
Update:
I went into work and did the whole "Act Normal" thing and it worked..... for the most part. We were fine for most of the day and neither of us ever brought it up and fortunately she never told anyone else what had happened but... well.... she was kinda being really passive aggressive with me the whole day. Little stuff like getting frustrated if I didn't answer a question right away but it was noticeable.
I went into work and did the whole "Act Normal" thing and it worked..... for the most part. We were fine for most of the day and neither of us ever brought it up and fortunately she never told anyone else what had happened but... well.... she was kinda being really passive aggressive with me the whole day. Little stuff like getting frustrated if I didn't answer a question right away but it was noticeable.
NihonTiger90
Member
ecurbj said:
True that. I'm 25 and my options feel like they're shot. Seems now a days if you don't have someone by 21, you won't get anyone, lol.
Now I know that's not necessarily true (My uncle finally married at 48 and one of my aunts is in her 40s and spent a long time single because she worked as a teacher and didn't have time) but just seems the dating culture is changing, at least for me.
Etrian Oddity
Member
Puppy love is great, just saying. >.>
Only shitty thing is both of us are so busy with our school, work, and organizations that it's super-hard to find time to spend together. But that makes it even sweeter, I suppose....
Only shitty thing is both of us are so busy with our school, work, and organizations that it's super-hard to find time to spend together. But that makes it even sweeter, I suppose....
Atramental
Banned
I'm turning 22 next summer. haha... OH MY GOD I'M GONNA DIE ALONE!NihonTiger90 said:
*deep breath*
Okay. I'm cool.
That's all fine and good but hopefully I can still get a girl in here 20s before everything becomes... saggy. Not that looks matter or anything, it's just that I want to at least have some memories of some youthful gal in my head when I'm older. Or something like that...
SRG01 said:
I've probably made more positive contributions to this thread than you have - you have such a strange, alien view on dating that quite a bit of your advice to people is nearly useless IMHO. Anyway, sorry that you don't like what I have to say...your problem lies within, in my opinion. If whatever displays of affection or whatever it is you are expecting (what is it that you are expecting?!?) are not coming from this girl, then save you and her the trouble and break up with her now.
Maybe the next one will stroke your ego the right way. But it might be better to look inwards and try to figure out why you need this validation if you already know how she feels about you.
SRG01 said:
A million times this.
See a cute girl walking down the street and giving you a longer stare than usual? There's an opportunity.
Same thing happens in public transit? Another opportunity.
Are you a regular at some store, restaurant, etc...? See a cute girl working there? Opportunity.
Do you work out in a male-only gym? Didn't think so.
Does "design" mean that you have an art background? You'll probably be able to meet plenty of easygoing artsy chicks when you start working.
And I haven't even mentioned places where you decide to go yourself because of interests or simply because you want to meet people like shows, bars and beaches.
Remember that there will always be plenty of single people coming out of college into full-blown adulthood, arguably more than those in an actual stable relationship. And even the latter are only stable until one of the parties starts losing interest. Why do you think cheating is so common?
Baiano19 said:
The best way to get over any person is rationally realize their flaws, because everyone has a lot of them. Also realize her very disinterest in you is a flaw in your fantasy where you two are together. Personally I've recognized that some girls have real strong hangups (fear), for example, that made our relationships not work. This stuff has helped me.
Atramental
Banned
Heh, you might be onto something.Snakeyes said:
SmackDaddy
Member
Yeah, it's really easy to come down on yourself if a relationship doesn't work out. Sure, look at it as a means of personal improvement, but keep in mind there was another half of that equation. She might have no told you what she wanted, she might have selfish interests, insecurities, etc. I started being all fk'ed up towards myself after me and my ex broke it off... But realizing a girl did this to me was the start of a new kind of self-respect. You owe more to yourself then being in a pile of shit all day by your own accord. It won't get better until you actively try to make it that way.
There's a good chance this is a rehash of thousands of posts on this thread already. my two cents!
There's a good chance this is a rehash of thousands of posts on this thread already. my two cents!
Argyle said:
That might not just be about needing validation or ego stroking. If someone cares way more then the other, shows more affection and puts in more effort the other one can feel neglected and the relationship grows lopsided. If it's just still about dating however I 'd just call it of entirely. Seeing it at this stage and not liking it already?
Danielsan said:Damn, that's quite the distance. Awesome that they are able to make it work.
Two hours is definitely not that bad, however it takes two people willing to put in the effort to make it work.
Being stuck in a small town sucks to a certain degree. Where I live does have its luxuries. For instance, I'm addicted to running and the dunes and the beach are only a 5 minute walk away. That said, I can't wait to move to Amsterdam or somewhere near. Just need to get my degree and a decent job before I do. The costs of living in Amsterdam are way too high. I'm barely scraping by living on my own in Den Helder as it is.
Anywho. I've got a date set for tomorrow night.
Yeah, Den Helder is a really nice place. Though pretty much in the middle of nowhere. Is it a big city with a lot going on? Maastricht is also pretty isolated but still a lot to do there.
The date is with the ld girl? Enjoy anyway
And Amsterdam is indeed very expensive, I count myself lucky to have found a room for 340 euro's a month. Starting salsalessons there in a day, see what the Amsterdam womenz are like, and just having a good time/not tripping over my own feet. No salsadancing in this small town
Oh, and I sort of need to vent/ask for some advice. I've been very close friends with this very hot girl for almost ten years. When that started we agreed to being friends, because there wasn't any chemistry.
Thing is, she is single again and has become very flirty. Almost seductive. She sends me texts like: "So when are you coming over hunk?" and comes prancing out of the shower in nothing more then a tiny towel.
Though it's stroking my ego greatly, it's also really weird. We're really just friends and I don't want anymore then that. Besides she's probably (understandably) just looking for male attention. How should I tell her to make things less....weird? I started by laughingly telling her to put some cloths on before she got cold. Which kind of made her sad
Idde said:
Yeah, he's on date 4 or something and he doesn't feel "wanted," whatever that means, despite the fact that he is sure that she is into him. When asked for clarification - he continues to talk in vague generalities about the issue. (And this from a guy who argued that the whole infatuation phase of a budding relationship is pointless and that he wants it to end as soon as possible!)
I agree with you - it's not like you can force her to "bring you flowers" or whatever it is he is expecting. Better to throw her back so she can meet someone who will appreciate her for who she is instead of causing drama by confronting her IMHO.
Honestly I am a pretty no bullshit, no drama kind of person, and that's why I came off so strong at first, I have a feeling that this is much ado about nothing and is more about what is going on in his head than anything she has or hasn't done.
She just left like a month ago. I haven't spoken to her since, but I'm going to give him some packages that arrived at her door, and I assume he will ship them to her new place. So I assume they're still friends and talk to each other, even though they're now far apart geographically.SpectreFire said:
QuantumBro
Banned
I've never posted in this thread before, I've read a lot of it though, and seeing as college just started for me I guess there is no better time. I've never had a girlfriend before, I'm overweight (I am going to the gym to work on that though) and I always feel very shy around new people till I really get to know them. Any advice to help out me would be great. Thanks!
QuantumBro
Banned
Yeah I had that the first 2 years of high school, never again.Stylo said:
IamMattFox
Member
Join some clubs or organizations in which you have an interest.QuantumBro said:
QuantumBro said:
- Abs are made in the kitchen not in the gym. That is not to say don't work out, absolutely work out but understand that the major contributor to your health is first and foremost healthy eating.
- Don't be tempted by all the free college food.
- Less thinking/over-analyzing any particular situation and more doing/acting on the fly.
- Generally as long as you don't smell bad and aren't a total shut in people will not have as negative of an impression of you as you think, so don't be afraid to loosen up.
- What Stylo and MattFox said.
The Shadow
Member
This might be beyond the scope of this thread and maybe it's something I should ask a professional but here goes:
I was in a long term relationship about a year and a half ago that ended badly, to put it mildly. In any case, I've dated a bit since then but my issue is that I have no interest emotionally with anyone. I deeply desire to be in a normal romantic relationship but no matter who I date, after we get physical I lose interest completely. It's not like I start dating them specifically to have sex and dump them. I really do want to have a relationship but there's no emotional bond, no interest beyond the physical.
Right now I'm dating two girls at the moment, neither very serious and only one physical and even though I share a lot of common likes and dislikes with both, there's no love, no real emotional bond there. They both could decide to dump me tomorrow and I wouldn't care.
Any advice? I really do want to have a normal loving relationship but it's not happening. I just find it so ironic that I feel so lonely, sometimes when I've spent the entire day with a girl, because I don't feel anything for them.
Thoughts?
I was in a long term relationship about a year and a half ago that ended badly, to put it mildly. In any case, I've dated a bit since then but my issue is that I have no interest emotionally with anyone. I deeply desire to be in a normal romantic relationship but no matter who I date, after we get physical I lose interest completely. It's not like I start dating them specifically to have sex and dump them. I really do want to have a relationship but there's no emotional bond, no interest beyond the physical.
Right now I'm dating two girls at the moment, neither very serious and only one physical and even though I share a lot of common likes and dislikes with both, there's no love, no real emotional bond there. They both could decide to dump me tomorrow and I wouldn't care.
Any advice? I really do want to have a normal loving relationship but it's not happening. I just find it so ironic that I feel so lonely, sometimes when I've spent the entire day with a girl, because I don't feel anything for them.
Thoughts?
Definitely, that kind of mentality helps with perspective and can certainly give one comfort in the knowledge that even if one moment in the present is bad it won't be in the near future. Not to mention there are others currently dealing with worse. So why worry? You can live your life in the comfort of knowing or die filled with regrets.Stylo said:
Nolimit_SS
Banned
Noticed this cute girl(7/10 for now) sitting alone in one of my classes, could make something happen there, I've already failed that class 2 times so got something to talk about xD seems like perfect opportunity.
But I was thinking to myself today, what should I do hmm, and my instant response was "FEED HER PIZZA", I troll too much
But I was thinking to myself today, what should I do hmm, and my instant response was "FEED HER PIZZA", I troll too much
Seems you're not fully over things yet. I can tell you that I've been there.The Shadow said:
I think you're not yet out of love with the idea of being in love, if that makes sense. Seems like you want to rush to the really rich part of a good, loving relationship, but don't want to sit through the hard work of getting there first.
Keep things light for now or just hold off of dating for a bit? It's kind of unfair to be dating girls if they have the intention of getting serious when you're not exactly sorted. So this is why I say keep things light or don't date women who you expect might want a long-term commitment.
It's very late where I am and I might not be making heaps of sense right now, so please forgive me.
I wouldn't really open with that or disclose it right away. It might give a bad first impression: she might see you as someone who isn't driven. Establish yourself as a guy she wants to be around first, then decide (later) if that's important information you'd even want to share with her.Nolimit_SS said:Noticed this cute girl(7/10 for now) sitting alone in one of my classes, could make something happen there, I've already failed that class 2 times so got something to talk about xD seems like perfect opportunity.
But I was thinking to myself today, what should I do hmm, and my instant response was "FEED HER PIZZA", I troll too much
Nolimit_SS
Banned
It wont be hard to notice by being 2 years older and in that class but I see what you mean.
It is the hardest class in all 3 years so yeah, will work it out somehow, got it tomorrow again
It is the hardest class in all 3 years so yeah, will work it out somehow, got it tomorrow again
University or college doesn't necessarily have the same start time for everyone. Not saying you should lie about starting late, but maybe you should just leave out the fact that you've failed twice. A lie of omission, if you will. Haha. You know, to get things off on the honest foot, right?Nolimit_SS said:It wont be hard to notice by being 2 years older and in that class but I see what you mean.
It is the hardest class in all 3 years so yeah, will work it out somehow, got it tomorrow again
Oh God, what have I done.
Jamesfrom818
Banned
Ace_235 said:
If he likes games so much equate finding a gf to playing a game.
Guy needs to get kicked in the behind. By sitting at home playing video games he'll never meet someone. Order him to get a haircut and take him out for a couple of weekends. If he decides to cancel, drag his ass out of his home. He doesn't have to go clubbing, but he needs to get out. Also at least try to get him to buy a new outfit or 2. Preferably together considering he doesn't give two shits himself.Ace_235 said:
Either that or let him enjoy his sheltered life. Dude sounds like me before my 20s and that's not a good thing at all. I already regret wasting my youth and I'm 23.
NihonTiger90 said:
Really wish my social life was better at college, goddamn. I was bullied/teased too much during my school days that it had a huge impact on my self-esteem/confidence. It got better during the first 2 years of college, but this past year (which I've literally just graduated) was completely useless due to the college moving.
Every time I read something like this my mind can't shake it at all.
Ace_235 said:
The best thing to do is bring him some where like pax or a local convention where there will be a ton of girls that share his interest and then try and talk them up while including him.
I have a friend like this that I allways tried to get out , he is 29 now and still hasn't had a gf. I feel bad but i can't really help him now since I slept with his sister and now she is getting married and her fiancee is super jealous of any of her exes
QuantumBro said:
i blew out my knee junior year of highschool playing foot ball . By senior year my cravings for food were the same as when I played football but because of my knee i was barely active and i gained alot of weight. Going into college i was about 260 at 6'4 .
I was also really shy although i did have a gf in highschool and one right after highschool .
I have to say the way i met girls was to just play the number game. Have a few drinks to calm yourself down adn then just start talking to girls and remind yourself that everything takes time. You can talk to a hundred girls and they could all say no . However thats fine your in college and after that hundred girls there are a thousand more and at some point you will find a girl that is into you.
Now you can meet a girl that is into you for that night , for a week or for years. But the point is the more girls you talk to , the more of a chance you get to find the right one.
Don't go nuts over any one girl unless she is feeling you back and is calling you and hanging out with you. Don't ever get stuck like that.
when your at a bar or whatever and your talking to a girl , the three things I find important are
1) Eye contact . Allways keep eye contact with her , if she keeps it back she is recipetive to you.
2) Physical contact . Don't mind giving a gentle pat on her arm or a quick glance of your hand over hers. If she does it back then she is interested in flirting more.
3) Never pass up anything , even if the girl isn't as hot as you want , continue talking to her , continue practicing
Danielsan said:
He lives with me (18) my mom and grandmom. But yea i go to the barbershop every 2 weeks and i ask him if he wants to go and it always happens like this. "im going to the barbershop you wanna ride?" "What for? im not doing anything." "Dont you wanna meet some one or do something this weekend?" "I want to meet someone but idk what to say because i have nothing to talk about." Then we go through the whole how to approach a girl and the worse she can say is no, thing. Then eventually he says that his friends need him in the game so he cant leave. We go through this every month and im not sure what to do anymore. He has Always been like this with games every since we were little. I play games to but i dont let them take my whole life over. He always expresses to me that he wants to finally have a gf but ALWAYS backs out.
eastmen said:
Yea that would be great but im not sure i even have the money to travel we live in NJ so the only places i go are NY and Philly because its cheap to travel there. Semi-broke college student
.And you may still be able to help your friend long as his sister isnt around.
- Status