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[Jin34]

I'm not trying to be mean. I just really, honestly, feel that if you don't like a guy and they feel cheated in some way, that their crazy.

On a relative note....

My male cousin told me to pretend that I'll call guys so that I don't hurt their feelings by being honest and telling them that I'm not interested. He told me that I should give them my number and promise to go on dates with guys I don't like but just never show up to the date. If they ask why I didn't show up, I should make some lame excuse. Like "I was sick" or "I had forgot that I had other plans".

I was shocked to hear this from a guy. I can't believe that guys want to be lead on and lied to so their pride isn't hurt.

Your cousin's an idiot.

Also as was talked about in past pages, sometimes guys feel they were let on (say a girl who is flirty) and/or misread signals. Other times it's what I mentioned a few posts back.

 

[Prax]

As someone who had a few big "crushes" in hs, that still doesn't make sense. I would think "why doesn't she like me?" But I would always think I should have done something different. Eventually I realized that was stupid too and if it isn't a fit I shouldn't have to change for a girl, but even back then I never thought I was getting a short end of the stick.

Well, kind of exactly? Then you think you can just "fix" those things, up your qualifications in parts you thought were lacking, and "apply" again, right? THEN FOR SURE!
I dunno. That's just how some of the guys I've talked with dealt with it. They just didn't accept that the girl didn't want them for reasons they cannot control/fix.

Some people blame it on themselves, other people blame it on the girl, and some can just accept it.

It's just that the most annoying ones are the ones that blame the girl as if she were blind and stupid for overlooking them. Haha.

I'm not trying to be mean. I just really, honestly, feel that if you don't like a guy and they feel cheated in some way, that their crazy.

On a relative note....

My male cousin told me to pretend that I'll call guys so that I don't hurt their feelings by being honest and telling them that I'm not interested. He told me that I should give them my number and promise to go on dates with guys I don't like but just never show up to the date. If they ask why I didn't show up, I should make some lame excuse. Like "I was sick" or "I had forgot that I had other plans".

I was shocked to hear this from a guy. I can't believe that guys want to be lead on and lied to so their pride isn't hurt.

Yeah, what a bad idea. That also takes too many hoops and steps on your part too. >_>

 

[Londa]

As someone who had a few big "crushes" in hs, that still doesn't make sense. I would think "why doesn't she like me?" But I would always think I should have done something different. Eventually I realized that was stupid too and if it isn't a fit I shouldn't have to change for a girl, but even back then I never thought I was getting a short end of the stick.

no girl owes you a date. All you can do is hope that she likes you. If she doesn't, she isn't a bitch. She was being honest and not lying to you or putting you in the friend zone.

 

[brotkasten]

I'm not trying to be mean. I just really, honestly, feel that if you don't like a guy and they feel cheated in some way, that their crazy.

On a relative note....

My male cousin told me to pretend that I'll call guys so that I don't hurt their feelings by being honest and telling them that I'm not interested. He told me that I should give them my number and promise to go on dates with guys I don't like but just never show up to the date. If they ask why I didn't show up, I should make some lame excuse. Like "I was sick" or "I had forgot that I had other plans".

I was shocked to hear this from a guy. I can't believe that guys want to be lead on and lied to so their pride isn't hurt.

Holy crap. I hope you won't do that, ever.

 

[Londa]

Holy crap. I hope you won't do that, ever.

well I did say that "I can't believe". So I hope that came off as me not agreeing with my cousin. Should I edit my post so people don't take it the wrong way?

 

[shanshan310]

Really? You saw it as misogynistic? That's an interesting perspective. Could you elaborate further on what offended you? I'm genuinely interested in knowing because I loved the game so much. It's cool to hear someone's opinion.

I saw it as a loser guy who can't make up his mind and gets caught up in something much larger than himself. To me, it's more about the dichotomy of relationships, whether you see them as happiness or taking away your freedom.

I played the game as a "good" guy, and got the true lover's ending So in the end he stood up for the women he truly loved and I got an ending where everyone was happy. I never saw it as offensive to women. Yes, the mid-level questions are kind of stupid, but they're not really offensive to either sex. Most of them are supposed to be testing your views on relationships.

Like the question "Does life begin or end at marriage?" Yes/No? It's not offensive to women. Either sex could feel like it's tying them down prematurely.

I didn't find it offensive AT ALL, but it really felt like the game was saying "women split into two groups; the objects that will tie you down and the fun objects with boobs". The game seemed scared of women. Both Catherine's were really unbelievable characters, and the game really felt aimed at guys. The whole time Vincent just acts like the victim! It annoyed me to no end.

Yatzee sort of touches one it: http://www.escapistmagazine.com/videos/view/zero-punctuation/3872-Catherine.

 

[brotkasten]

well I did say that "I can't believe". So I hope that came off as me not agreeing with my cousin. Should I edit my post so people don't take it the wrong way?

Nope, I was clear enough for me. I just wanted to make clear what a bad idea that was and just make sure that you don't get the idea that a guy would want that. Seriously.

 

[Londa]

Nope, I was clear enough for me. I just wanted to make clear what a bad idea that was and just make sure that you don't get the idea that a guy would want that. Seriously.

Ok, thanks for your opinion/feedback (seriously).

 

[AtomskEater]

Do you girls care about how money guys earn before dating them?

Old question, but I at least want them to be somewhat self sufficient. Be able to help out with bills and rent regularly, you know?

 

[The Orange]

I'm not trying to be mean. I just really, honestly, feel that if you don't like a guy and they feel cheated in some way, that their crazy.

On a relative note....

My male cousin told me to pretend that I'll call guys so that I don't hurt their feelings by being honest and telling them that I'm not interested. He told me that I should give them my number and promise to go on dates with guys I don't like but just never show up to the date. If they ask why I didn't show up, I should make some lame excuse. Like "I was sick" or "I had forgot that I had other plans".

I was shocked to hear this from a guy. I can't believe that guys want to be lead on and lied to so their pride isn't hurt.

That's just your cousin being a retard. Horseshit like that is what gets a lot of guys jaded on women as well, I think it's safe to say the vast vast majority prefer honesty. (Edit: I understood where you stand from your post.)

To add to the discussion of male-female friendships, I think it works both ways. Girls need to realise that in 99% of the cases*, the guys that want to get to know them are doing it in hopes of something more, so flirty messages, extensive hanging out, emotional bonding or anything of the sort is something you shouldn't do if you don't feel any attraction back, because it's misleading and it'll lead to the exact situation everyone dreads with having to give the "I like you as a friend" speech and all that jazz.

On the other hand, guys need to realise when it's not realistic to expect a relationship to develop any more after the original get-to-know period, and need to be able to discern between friendliness and attraction (though some women are great at blurring the lines, with clear intentions come clear answers). If you stick around, stick around because you want to be friends, not because you're saving up what you think is courage to "confront" her with your feelings (of course, not before you gently "woo" her with witty SMS messages, youtube links of great songs and excellent consolation conversation) or whatever other bullshit reason aside from just wanting to be friends.

*The 99% of cases is important here for women, there is very few real-life examples where a guy will approach you to be friends, unless he is gay. That's not to say that some of those guys won't develop into great friends, but from the outset, that wasn't the goal, and most of the confusion for guys happens in this period.

End of expert opinion, praises are welcomed.

 

[ronitoswife]

Breast feeding non-sense?

Not that I can ever really see myself having kids at this point, but I think breastfeeding is a pretty amazing thing. To know that a baby is actually living off of something that comes from your body. Also, from what I understand it's a really special bonding period. I've spoken to older women who say they regret having not breastfed their kids.

Plus, it's like a cheatcode for giving your kid +1 intelligence.

On the topic of teaching kids to be awesome. How can I get my 4 year old niece into awesome video games? I tried to get her to play Canvas Curse but that's actually a bit complicated for a kid that young.

Breastfeeding really is pretty amazing! I breastfed both my boys and absolutely loved it!

 

[ronitoswife]

I understand all this. My brain has the knowledge that it's good for the kid, but it still freaks me out. All I can see is a parasite leeching onto me and it gives me icky chills. Plus I can't help but think about how it would ruining my beautiful breasts and turning them into chewed up saggy pancakes. I know it's immature selfish thinking but that's exactly why I'm not having a kid!

Really? Hummmm......That doesn't always happen. I've breastfed both my boys and to be honest, my boobs have gotten bigger and fuller( much to my husbands delight). Even after I have stopped. I was really nervous at first but once my first son and I figured it out, it became the most beautiful thing.

 

[shanshan310]

Breastfeeding really is pretty amazing! I breastfed both my boys and absolutely loved it!

I'm worried it will tickle too much and I won't be able to. I'm pretty sensitive all over. Sucks when I get back pain but if someone tries to give me a massage I burst out laughing.

 

[cooljeanius]

Breastfeeding really is pretty amazing! I breastfed both my boys and absolutely loved it!

My mom was never able to get me to breastfeed... I feel like I missed out on something as a baby.

 

[ronitoswife]

That's a tough decision. Wreck my vagina or have a big ugly scar.

I've had 2 c-sections and actually the scars aren't so big. I had a ruptured appendix when I was 15 and my scar from that surgery is bigger than both my c-section scars. Plus, I actually like my scars. I call them my battle wounds!

 

[CrudeDiatribe]

Is it how they're being worded or an implicit tone?

Paraphrased:
1. blah blah work blah blah paragraphs about work blah you have very pretty eyes.
2. blah blah I appreciate your hard work, and professionalism blah blah, but most of all your amazing smile blah blah.

He asked in the second email if his comments meant anything to her (I just saw that part). She's drafted a reply indicating that she's not really appreciative of his remarks.

And in any sort of work/school atmosphere it's tough trying to be approachable but not a doormat, assertive but "that bitch." So literally any dialogue or conversation is much more meaningful than it should be.

It's unfortunately a male-dominated industry, many men with a chivalrous-misogynistic view of women* (women are precious flowers. Precious, helpless, stupid flowers). She is worried about causing a stink, but she would like not to be creeped out. Her boss just laughed at the first email when she showed him saying it was nothing, but he's not that far from the above type.

*This guy has expressed amazement that my partner is both a woman and competent. ...

tbh not sure what you were asking... and I'm a guy so I'm not sure why I answered...

Pro-tip: Don't send flirty emails to co-workers if you haven't worked up to that stage in person and with reciprocation. See also.

Were it me, I would probably reply asking why he sent this to me and if it was a mistake. Adding a "lol" at the end to make it seem less judgmental/angry.

How many emails has this been?

Oh, your "lol" makes me feel old...

Speaking of old, he's fifteen years her senior (she does fall in his half-age plus seven range, though. I guess he thought he had a surplus of creepy points to burn from that). She also reports to him on some matters.

It's only been two emails so far, both in the past two weeks. They've worked together for close to three years.

"You are a nice guy but I just want to be friends" means "I'm am not physically attracted to you".

Because they're idiots? See also 'ladder theory'.

Why do guy think just because they like a girl means the girl must like them

They read The Secret?

 

[ronitoswife]

What freaks you out about IUDs?

I don't know much about them.

for me, they freak me out because my little sister had one and it caused her to bleed severely. she had to be hospitalized and even had a blood transfusion. Now I know that was probably a very rare thing, but it still is scary to me.

 

[Prax]

Paraphrased:
1. blah blah work blah blah paragraphs about work blah you have very pretty eyes.
2. blah blah I appreciate your hard work, and professionalism blah blah, but most of all your amazing smile blah blah.

He asked in the second email if his comments meant anything to her (I just saw that part). She's drafted a reply indicating that she's not really appreciative of his remarks.

It's unfortunately a male-dominated industry, many men with a chivalrous-misogynistic view of women* (women are precious flowers. Precious, helpless, stupid flowers). She is worried about causing a stink, but she would like not to be creeped out. Her boss just laughed at the first email when she showed him saying it was nothing, but he's not that far from the above type.

*This guy has expressed amazement that my partner is both a woman and competent. ...

Oh, your "lol" makes me feel old...

Speaking of old, he's fifteen years her senior (she does fall in his half-age plus seven range, though. I guess he thought he had a surplus of creepy points to burn from that). She also reports to him on some matters.

It's only been two emails so far, both in the past two weeks. They've worked together for close to three years.

Okay, only two.. that's not excessive yet at least! And he tried to insert it into other work-related stuff.
Well, for now, maybe just chalk it up to him joking and being stupid. Him being a lot older.. probably makes him think he can get away with it more too. Hopefully she can just get away with saying his comments come off as unprofessional and a little demeaning and she would appreciate it if he stopped and he will get the point. >_>


IUDs just seem creepy in general in a robotic kind of way.. metal rods up in the uterus.. confusing the body when it comes to fertilized eggs attaching to the wall.. Seems like the least natural/easy method of contraception possible!

 

[Agent Cooper]

Totally off-topic to the subject at hand, but can anyone recommend me some cute/funny chick flick movies? Me and my mom are having a girl's weekend and she wants to watch some movies and eat ice cream and whatnot.

 

[Devolution]

Totally off-topic to the subject at hand, but can anyone recommend me some cute/funny chick flick movies? Me and my mom are having a girl's weekend and she wants to watch some movies and eat ice cream and whatnot.

Any male leads in mind? Sometimes I watch really shit ones just to see someone like Hugh Jackman shirtless.

 

[Cheska]

Totally off-topic to the subject at hand, but can anyone recommend me some cute/funny chick flick movies? Me and my mom are having a girl's weekend and she wants to watch some movies and eat ice cream and whatnot.

Bridesmaids!!! Go out and buy it now.

 

[SpacedCadette]

I understand all this. My brain has the knowledge that it's good for the kid, but it still freaks me out. All I can see is a parasite leeching onto me and it gives me icky chills. Plus I can't help but think about how it would ruining my beautiful breasts and turning them into chewed up saggy pancakes. I know it's immature selfish thinking but that's exactly why I'm not having a kid!

I totally understand the feeling.

While I'm not exactly repulsed by it, it does make me uncomfortable thinking about it or hearing other women talk about doing it. I don't find anything wrong with it though and I'll defend your right to do it in public or where ever you need to. I can't explain why it makes me feel uneasy. Like I said, it doesn't really gross me out or anything, just makes me feel uneasy when other people talk about it. I guess I consider it to be a private thing between the mom and her baby.

Maybe my opinions will change if/when I ever have a kid. As of now I don't know if I can say for sure if I'd ever do it myself, but I've also never had any kids so what do I know?

 

[ronitoswife]

My best friend is a guy. We're there for each other. We already tried a relationship, it was weird.

When I first met my husband in high school that's what I thought. Kinda weird. We were always hanging out, he was my best friend. But when people kept saying that we should get married, we already act married, blah blah, I would say " I can't marry him, he's my friend!" 12 years later we got back into contact with each other and this time( obviously) it was different. Happy almost 7 years later!!!!!

 

[Agent Cooper]

Any male leads in mind? Sometimes I watch really shit ones just to see someone like Hugh Jackman shirtless.

Anyone handsome! Hugh Jackman is so unfff.

Bridesmaids!!! Go out and buy it now.

Already ahead of you. xP We're going to order it from Netflix. :3

 

[Devolution]

Anyone handsome! Hugh Jackman is so unfff.


Already ahead of you. xP We're going to order it from Netflix. :3

Watch Someone Like You.

And if you're into seeing him in period piece wear, watch Kate and Leopold.

 

[Kitsunebaby]

Totally off-topic to the subject at hand, but can anyone recommend me some cute/funny chick flick movies? Me and my mom are having a girl's weekend and she wants to watch some movies and eat ice cream and whatnot.

As I said before, I really dislike chick flicks and romantic comedies in general. However, I really enjoy My Big Fat Greek Wedding. French Kiss is good too (my mom loves all the Meg Ryan ones). She also loves Bridget Jones' Diary.

 

[ronitoswife]

I'm worried it will tickle too much and I won't be able to. I'm pretty sensitive all over. Sucks when I get back pain but if someone tries to give me a massage I burst out laughing.

Wow! No back massages!!!!! That does suck!

It doesn't really tickle, just a sweet little tug!

 

[Cheska]

Might I suggest another recent release: Something Borrowed? I watched it with my mom last time I was actually home and while it wasn't "omg so good" it was fun and enjoyable.

Plus, you get to stare at a hunky Colin Egglesfield

 

[Agent Cooper]

Thank you for all the hot pics (and good suggestions), ladies. Will definitely see how she feels about watchin' em! (Even if she doesn't want to watch those Hugh Jackman ones, I will def watch them sometime soon. xD)

 

[shanshan310]

Totally off-topic to the subject at hand, but can anyone recommend me some cute/funny chick flick movies? Me and my mom are having a girl's weekend and she wants to watch some movies and eat ice cream and whatnot.

Bridget Jones' Diary is always a winner.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

I bought this a little bit ago.

I'm thinking about actually going through with it. I've always had long hair and I really want to change it up. Except I'm Asian and a lot of short typically Asian-y hairstyles are ick IMO.

 

[Devolution]

I got mine cut real short this time around. It's been growing out. You have to figure out what kind of cuts flatter your particular facial structure though.

 

[Kisaya]

Oh my goooodddddddd I want it short so baddllyy. Just need the perfect cut hahaha

 

[Kitsunebaby]

I bought this a little bit ago.

I'm thinking about actually going through with it. I've always had long hair and I really want to change it up. Except I'm Asian and a lot of short typically Asian-y hairstyles are ick IMO.

I'm growing mine out currently. Does your hair have any curl or wave to it at all? Or is it completely straight?

If it's the former I'd go with something like this:

Latter, I'd do it like this:

Those were a couple of the pics I came across the last time I was looking to cut my hair short. Sometimes I really wish I had Asian hair. It looks so cool in so many different styles.

Also, is that Olivia Munn in the right corner? It's so weird to see her with short hair.

 

[shanshan310]

me too :'( My hair is just too thick and wavy to do those cute Asian hairstyles any justice.

 

[coldvein]

is this actually ronito's wife posting in here?

 

[Kisaya]

I always wanted asian hair

 

[cooljeanius]

I always wanted asian hair

Why couldn't you have had Asian hair? Would your family not let you or something?

 

[Kisaya]

Why couldn't you have had Asian hair? Would your family not let you or something?

I mean like naturally My hair is so thin and frizzy.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Speaking of hair. Was a bridesmaid at a wedding recently and got my hair all done up. Here's a pic (cropped and blown up obviously.)

 

[VariantX04]

Lovely.

 

[Shouta]

I think I getcha Kinitari. Kinda like putting all your eggs in this one female friend "basket"? When you can see there are other viable options you don't have to put so much pressure on this one girl.

It's a bit of that but for guys that are in a situation like that, it's very easy to misread. If a guy doesn't hang out with women often or is never approached by thm, seeing a woman that is forward and does want to be friends like that is an outlier to his experience. Thinking "maybe she's in to me and I should take a chance" isn't exactly without reason because it just doesn't line up with your experiences so far, sad as that is.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Lovely.

Anyone ever catch someone smelling their hair? Like during a hug.

 

[VariantX04]

Anyone ever catch someone smelling their hair? Like during a hug.

Oh, I sneak a whiff every time a girl hugs me. There's just something magical about the scent.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Oh, I sneak a whiff every time a girl hugs me. There's just something magical about the scent.

And I find it a bit distressing. >.> Especially depending on the person. Love it when my boyfriend does it though, and I do it to him too.

 

[Professor Beef]

Oh, I sneak a whiff every time a girl hugs me. There's just something magical about the scent.

You can say that again.

*wistful sigh*

 

[shanshan310]

Oh, I sneak a whiff every time a girl hugs me. There's just something magical about the scent.

guys as well. People generally smell pretty good.

 

[VariantX04]

And I find it a bit distressing. >.> Especially depending on the person. Love it when my boyfriend does it though, and I do it to him too.

The key is not to get caught in the act. If we hugged, odds are I'd have a noseful of your hair product without you knowing. It's a gift, I s'pose.

guys as well. People generally smell pretty good.

Girls often smell better than guys, this is not even debatable.

 

[shanshan310]

girls use perfume and nice shampoo.

My soap right now is mango :3

 

[VariantX04]

Yeah! You get to smell like delicious fruit! You can't blame a guy for wanting to sniff you up. I rarely wear cologne so I just smell like generic dude right now.