Ducky_McGee said:
If I may take this topic in a bit of a... direction. I can't seem to make my boyfriend understand something. When we're making love and I take his hand and put it somewhere, he takes his hand back after a few seconds and continues to do whatever he was doing before I moved it. I don't want to be dominating and tell him outright because I feel like that would sort of spoil the mood. Except that if I really sit and think about it... the mood is already spoiled for me if it happens enough times
I feel like he should be getting the hint but he doesn't. I can't say enough good things about him. He's fantastic, considerate, loving, and just all around wonderful, but this ticks me off. How do i get the point across without completely spoiling the moment?
Uh, if I may, as a guy, offer my advice?
Personally, I love hearing explicitly what my girl likes. And most guys I know feel the same. And though it might seem weird, it doesn't have to come across as dominating. I think a lot of girls are conditioned to not really say what they want sexually, but as a guy it's a hell of a turn-on to hear it. It might surprise you but many of us actually like hearing girls talk about what they want and what gets them off.
I can't guarantee it (obviously) but my guess is it won't spoil the mood at all, and actually it might have the opposite effect. Every guy loves the feeling that he is the "master" of his girl, which is to say he knows what makes her go wild. Following this, the key is to not say it in a way that makes him feel like he's been doing it wrong the whole time (even if he has). Tell him in a way that makes him feel like he's realizing a new way of pleasuring you, one that adds to his repertoire. Yeah, it's about protecting his ego, but that's a way to do it without ruining the mood. If he is as considerate and loving as you say he is, he'll appreciate it.
Also, as an aside -- throw in a "don't stop" or some sexy whimpering/pouting if he tries to stop doing what you like.
Positive reinforcement.
Finally, it's okay to talk about sex when you're not having sex. It'll give him something to think about for the next time, and he'll probably be eager to try it immediately. Win-win!