What Ive seen and what is killing me from finding a relationship..
Dating is expensive..once it gets serious it adds up. I'm financially capable to enjoy nice things, that adds up when your paying for two and while some of you may say you'll pay half or what not I heard many a story of from dates on how "cheap guys" turned them off. One girl told me how a guy went to the bar and came back with just a drink for him, she automatically dropped him. I was expected, being well off, to provide weekly, on a low average $300 in food/entertainment.
We are expected to do things while we dont expect anything back. I heard a story about dropping a guy they had just started seeing over not helping them move, help fix something they hinted at was broke, even not picking her and her GF up from a bar at 2am when they were drunk. Most you'll hear a guy wanting is sex, maybe a nice home cooked meal, but we are to be on call..be it just to listen (dont offer advice! You just want someone to listen!)
Sex is basically "easy" it seems now. I swear to god once 50 Shades of Grey came out it went from easy to obtain sex to easy to obtain "imma let my freak flag fly" sex.
On average 8 out of 10 of the dates I would set up I didnt have to do much to have someone trying to get in my pants...unless I dated them..once I decided to date them all the freaky "random" sex goes and freaky shit goes bye bye. But being mildly cute, financially well off, and some what able to hold a conversation meant I was guaranteed some type of orgasm inducing action by the end of the night..but this honestly made me think "wonder who else she did this with..ewwwwww"
My current GF of 8 months..I met up with after a concert. She drove my drunk ass home, which I dont remember, and we had sex (so she says, it was the Johnny Walker tent that did me in)
Second "date" was sex in my car under a bridge...now tho I got told last Sat "its only 9pm, its to early for sex!"
It becomes a hostage situation. Sex is litteraly a hostage situation and we become negotiators. So many nights, going good, little drunk, hoping to end it with some sex (like the good old days!) Then BAM! pussy catches a bullet between the eyes cause of something we did 3 months ago you remembered and we lie away in bed staring at the ceiling, with a boner and drunk.
Social media. A large majority of women, even over 30, will date you yet still cling to the validation of social media. It gets frustrating having the weekly selfie get 50 likes from dudes and some under handed comments.
And for the love of god, stay off your phones at dinner. And dont tweet the dates discussions, mishaps, etc..
We are adored, treating like kings, fawned over...till we make it official. Once the official title hits "BOOM" We get tested, subjugated, castrated...we go from "daddy" to "if you wanted a weak woman, you picked the wrong girl!"
Its easier the first couple of dates and sex, when we dont hear about how we smell like a cigar we had earlier or how rubbing up against you in the kitchen makes up seem like a horny 15 year old.
After date 1 or 2...stop talking about your ex's!! And please please stop telling me how surprising it was that the bartender or doorman at the club played you out over the course of 6 months. You may the 1% that finds love at the club or bar but the other 99% have us thinking in our heads "damn, she fell for that game?!" If you think that hook-up or relationship was dumb on your part, keep that shit to yourself cause we will judge the shit out of you.
And your promiscuity isnt funny to us. I know, I know, women have taken their sexuality back..but we, as men, use sex to judge. Like it or not social constructs have drilled that into our heads.
This is just my insight in about 1-2 years back on "the market". Being mid-30's, financially well off, and Ive been told attractive.
Ive had pick of the litter and hundreds of dates and a good amount of casual sex..but a 1 month relationship, a 3 month relation ship and currently 7/8 months have all had me pulling me hair out. I could go back on Tinder, Bumble, Match and have casual date/sex a week but Im a hopeless romantic.
My current GF has done most of the shit above even but shes fucking adorable and witty and I eat shit every day from her as expected, but I love her and blow through money, time, gas, and mental stability cause thats how a man loves.
The reality of the situation is a woman will never love a man as strong as he loves her, if he really does. We endless search for the one who comes close and eternally have to fight for a womans love and indugle it via deeds, gifts, security etc..
We dont change...we are big dumb animals. But in a relationship, women and the dynamics change.
