You guys are literally the sweetest people ever.
I think the hardest part is just kinda facing that someone is gone, ya know? Being like.....that's it. The finality of it. I've been soaking it in and it still feels surreal sometimes.
Im learning a lot about myself from this loss tho. I'm learning to let go of anger and appreciate moments I have with people rather than being the emotional douchey cunt I was before.
It's been really eye opening considering this is the first time I've experienced personal loss.
It's bittersweet as fuck but I'm proud of the person I'm becoming from it.
It takes time. When you lose something you care about, whether that be a physical person or a relationship (in all its forms), or just if something bad happens in your life, you have to allow yourself time to heal. When something bothers me, I have a bad habit of being too harsh on myself. Like, I'll go, "Shit, you're such a fucking loser, you should be tougher than this, don't let it affect you so much, just get on with your life." But it's never that easy, and I've had to learn the hard way that you have to be kind to yourself. Forgive yourself, go "I've got this, I just have to take my time with it, Rome wasn't built in a day," etc.
I treat myself, I try to pick out my good qualities, I surround myself in the things that I enjoy doing and the people who I know give a shit about me. So even though it sucks, and I know you've got a lot going on right now with the job hunt, but just...you've got this. Don't rush trying to get better and don't throw yourself into things that cause you unnecessary stress. Do it at your own pace.
