Cindi Mayweather
Member
I think the problem for their SO's is that they're sharing a hotel room. are you sharing the bed? Serious question. Why not stay in a cheap hotel and get seperated rooms. No drama, no fuss.
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GirlGAF |OT 2| Shall I Compare Thee to a Summer's Eve?
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Two beds in the room.
I floated the idea to my gf that I'd be happy to get separate rooms if it makes it any easier for her... her response was
"No, that's just more money and you're going to be hanging out together anyway so there's no point".
I'm fine with people having different opinions, but I just don't see a reason to be a massive dickhead about it. The guy's post came off as reasonable, and I thought he was being polite when replying to people he disagreed with. But you weren't, and I guess that's your ~*style*~. There is more to life than being "right and wrong on the internet".Guess you don't like learning that you are a jealous and possessive person huh.
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Your gf confuses me
The thing with this whole situation is we both requested 2 tickets at the same time, thinking that if we both got our waitlist's fulfilled, all four of us could go.
I put my request in first and hers was an hour or so after mine, and somehow she got the seats.. Since we only got two, and her and I being the fans, she offered the other ticket to me, since we both wanted to see the show.
And I think what my gf isn't understanding, or maybe people here aren't understanding, it's not about the overnight or having to stay there longer than I have to. If I could get in and out without a hotel stay, I would... because I respect my gf's wishes and concerns completely, but at this point, in order for either of us to attend (me or my friend), its a necessary evil.
I don't think my gf overreacted, nor do I think she's wrong.. I just wish there was some way to alleviate her worries and make everyone happy.
Women confuse me sometimes, lol, hence why I'm here.
I even told her I was being completely transparent about this, not hiding a single thing, I even told my friend what was going on and SHE offered to talk to her too, to help set whatever record needs to be straightened out.. Neither of us (me or my friend) think this trip is a big deal, but maybe that's just us, because we know we're not upto anything nefarious.
Professor Beef
Banned
Funny enough, there IS a Simpsons episode about this:
Zoe
Member
Doesn't sound confusing to me, just that she's given up.
maybe add on something else to the trip and bring your gf and the bf of your friend along to enjoy whichever city that's in?
personally though I don't think I could be in a relationship where something like that is an issue
Well, the idea of this excursion is to get in and out as fast as possible to not miss work and such... I'm sure if there was no overnight this wouldn't have been as big of an issue.
I said this to my gf because I don't really consider it a 'trip' or 'vacation' since we're there for less than 12 hours, and that I'd take her back there on a weekend so we could see the city and do things ourselves since it's not horribly expensive to get there from where we live.
I think maybe had you discussed the travel plans in more solid terms before the tickets, then she would be less upset about it. Or if you had invited her along (even if she wasn't interested). So it's a bit of a communication problem?
I don't see anything wrong with sharing rooms with a long-time friend, but everybody has their boundaries I guess. If that particular friend was the flirty/touchy type, there would be some definite concern. lol
I don't see anything wrong with sharing rooms with a long-time friend, but everybody has their boundaries I guess. If that particular friend was the flirty/touchy type, there would be some definite concern. lol
Cindi Mayweather
Member
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Well maybe she's finally being reasonable, at least!
Meh. I'm sorry if you feel I was rude, but it's my ~*opinion*~ that your idea of never ever letting your husband share a hotel room with another woman under any circumstance, reflects a jealous and possessive, or at least very insecure personality.
That's OK, we all got our character flaws. For instance, I am not jealous or possessive, but I am rude and cocky on the internet.
and IRL tbh
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
aww morri ilu babe but knock it off with the 'tude >:O
personally, i will let my SO take a hypothetical trip to anywhere, sharing a room or even a bed with any other person on earth because i have that kind of relationship with the SO but i dont assume that all relationships are like mine and even if i like what i have i dont assume that what i have is superior to what others have
dr.evil, i'd back out of the trip if i know it bothers your gf that much. i'd rather break my day than break my SO's heart. but that's just me.
if your colbert fandom is that important to you, knock yourself out. no judgements, bru.
personally, i will let my SO take a hypothetical trip to anywhere, sharing a room or even a bed with any other person on earth because i have that kind of relationship with the SO but i dont assume that all relationships are like mine and even if i like what i have i dont assume that what i have is superior to what others have
dr.evil, i'd back out of the trip if i know it bothers your gf that much. i'd rather break my day than break my SO's heart. but that's just me.
if your colbert fandom is that important to you, knock yourself out. no judgements, bru.
trab pu kcip
Member
You guys are completely fucking crazy, and/or have trust issues, and/or need to find yourselves better SOs if you can't even trust them. ¯\_(ツ
Irrational jealously is sure an ugly sentiment. So glad I don't have such a possessive SO.
If you cannot trust your SO to share a hotel room with a a platonic friend without getting uncomfortable I really have to wonder why you are even with them.
it's not crazy, it's being realistic. things like this happen. it's not made up. people sometimes are into other people even though they are already involved with someone.
dimissing this fact would be crazy. and it also sounds like the chick's bf wasn't too thrilled about the whole thing either so maybe there already were some vibes floating around, we don't exactly know the situation.
this is extremely context sensitive but just in general...yeah I wouldn't be completely fine with it and I would understand if my partner wasn't either (if the roles were reversed).
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
<in response to people who think it's not o.k for two friends to go on a trip together>
<in response to people who think it IS o.k for two friends to go on a trip together>
BATTLELINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN!!
<in response to people who think it IS o.k for two friends to go on a trip together>
BATTLELINES HAVE BEEN DRAWN!!
trab pu kcip
Member
without a little bit of jealousy what's the point of being in an exclusive relationship anyway? you should never take your partner for granted. it shouldn't be a topic of discussion 24/7 but tbh I'd be a little hurt if I found out my partner wouldn't care AT ALL if I spend the night with another dude.
I would not be okay with my bf sharing a hotel room with another girl, EXCEPT for a small subset of girls that I know or know of. He also would be absolutely against me staying in a room with a male friend (again, with exceptions), and that's an equal trade-off I am more than happy to make with him.
Different people have different boundaries, I don't see why that makes a statement like "maybe you just shouldn't be in a relationship" okay to make. It's about finding a compatible partner that's willing to respect your boundaries, and vice versa. My boyfriend wouldn't want to date people who are okay with things like that, and guess what? It works for us.
Lay off. The attitude in here is really condescending and off-putting.
Different people have different boundaries, I don't see why that makes a statement like "maybe you just shouldn't be in a relationship" okay to make. It's about finding a compatible partner that's willing to respect your boundaries, and vice versa. My boyfriend wouldn't want to date people who are okay with things like that, and guess what? It works for us.
Lay off. The attitude in here is really condescending and off-putting.
T
Transhuman
Unconfirmed Member
NipplesAndToes23
Member
I've been without one for so long that I wouldn't really care. To me it's just like these random people I don't know having sex.
I think you need to have a serious, open discussion about this. Even if your girlfriend "lets" you go, there's a huge chance she's going to feel resentful if neither of you have a proper discussion. In the end, is Colbert worth the relationship if your girlfriend really doesn't want you to go? Or is the freedom to do these things in the future worth it?
Personally, I'd be totally fine letting my boyfriend do this, so long as I knew the girl. You've been friends for a decade. If something was gonna happen, it probably would have by now.
Basically, what is the relationship worth? What boundaries are you ok with?
Personally, I'd be pretty pissed if my boyfriend said I couldn't go if I was in this situation.
Personally, I'd be totally fine letting my boyfriend do this, so long as I knew the girl. You've been friends for a decade. If something was gonna happen, it probably would have by now.
Basically, what is the relationship worth? What boundaries are you ok with?
Personally, I'd be pretty pissed if my boyfriend said I couldn't go if I was in this situation.
This is how I feel. If I told my gf I was going on a one on one trip with a hotel stay with a pretty girl (not likely because I'd feel strange about it, but hypothetically if this happened) and she was just like "cool, have fun" I'd stop and wonder why she doesn't care at all. I'd want her to feel strange about it. If she didn't, I'd have to stop and question if the romance was now dead.
liliththepale
Banned
Please stop building straw men arguments. Obviously it would be more than a no-questions-asked affair. Obviously. Nobody is saying we don't care at all. It's just that we understand that if there's a good reason for the event, and we know enough about the other person involved, then we can reasonably come to terms with it. Nobody is petitioning for flippant approval of affairs.
What I'm pushing against is the idea presented here that if you ever feel uncomfortable with this then you're crazy and your relationship is bad.
And in the case at the heart of this discussion, his gf is not okay with it. I'm open to the idea that she has some basis for feeling that way other than irrational, over the top possessiveness.
XiaNaphryz
LATIN, MATRIPEDICABUS, DO YOU SPEAK IT
Man, I stop paying attention in the thread...
Try to keep it civil peeps. Mods have a hard enough time with the rest of the forum populace being rude to each other.
Try to keep it civil peeps. Mods have a hard enough time with the rest of the forum populace being rude to each other.
liliththepale
Banned
That's fine but think about how like Erica trusts you and Lauren to be home alone all the time, so how is that really any different?
When you act like there's absolutely no one you'd trust your SO with it makes it sound like there are underlying trust issues.
trab pu kcip
Member
I just saw this. looks like your gf just has a problem with you hanging out with that girl in the first place. instead of putting it off as *crazy* jealousy I'd rather think about where that is coming from and what you can do to make her feel more at ease with the friend situation in general.
it's very different. E&L are best friends, E was the one to suggest the idea of L living there in the first place, jobbs didn't take the initiative. etc [I'll stop the private stuff now] we barely know anything about the situation/history the girls in question have.
Morrigan Stark
Arrogant Smirk
Exactly.
The stuff about boundaries etc. doesn't make sense. If you don't trust your SO with something so innocuous, there's something deeper going on. Either you are a possessive and jealous person and might need to self-reflect on that or, if there's an actual reason to distrust your SO, well... maybe you should re-examine your relationship.
I mean unless it's a very new relationship maybe and you don't know your new SO all that well? But in an established relationship... yeah.
trab pu kcip
Member
okay now that we've been called the insane ones with trust issues I'm just gonna call you the naive delusional ones who think they can predict a person and get too comfortable in a relationship, ultimately destroying any form of romantic excitement.
;pp
That's a fair observation. It's true that who the person is matters.
But the idea that drew me into the discussion was basically that you should okay with it even if you don't know the person well. You trust your partner so they should be able to stay in hotels with *anyone* whether you know the person or not. That was how the argument was framed that most of my posts have been in response to. Clearly DrEvil's girlfriend isn't best friends with this other girl and maybe doesn't even really know her, and quite possibly she has some reason of her own for feeling uncomfortable about it -- but anyone who sided with her was described as crazy.
liliththepale
Banned
That's okay. I had a different reading of the situation, but I'm sorry if I contributed to any misunderstanding.That's a fair observation. It's true that who the person is matters.
But the idea that drew me into the discussion was basically that you should okay with it even if you don't know the person well. You trust your partner so they should be able to stay in hotels with *anyone* whether you know the person or not. That was how the argument was framed that most of my posts have been inr esponse to. Clearly DrEvil's girlfriend isn't best friends with this other girl and maybe doesn't even really know her, and quite possibly she has some reason of her own for feeling uncomfortable about it -- but anyone who sided with her was described as crazy.
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
i think it's human for people to wonder and worry about what could happen
i dont worry about my SO's fidelity but i worry about other stupid stuff when she travels without me (like plane crash, car accidents, mugging, zombie virus outbreak, etc)
i trust SO to even share a bed with a stranger though. we're just in that kind of relationship. she's just awesome. and it's not that i dont care. no, not at all. i do care . A LOT. (see above notes about being a worrywart about other uncontrollable accidents stuff), but her loyalty to me? ZERO concerns. i would keep checking on her when she's en route. but as soon as she's at the hotel where she would be safe, i have no worries at all if she shares a room or a bed with whoever.
having said that, others are different. and yeah, people's choices and personalities and their posts here are reflective of their persons, but i think it's unfair to hold other people to what works for you / me / us.
we are all coping our best with the world around us. some people prefer their partners to be a bit jealous over things because they interpret that kind of behaviour as a signal of affection. others are the other way around, interpreting that kind of behaviour as a signal of mistrust and therefore of LACK of affection and confidence in the relationship. I dont think either way is more 'valid'. Both ways are very human.
So, y'all are making me really sad right now with being super judgemental about how others are living (and loving). Hope we can return to a place where we aren't a bunch of rude, condescending, defensive, unkind people in GirlGAF.
Because I love y'all but if this is how it's going to be in here for a while, I will avoid this thread for a while, because toxicity sucks (no matter the genders, no matter the place).
>:3
i dont worry about my SO's fidelity but i worry about other stupid stuff when she travels without me (like plane crash, car accidents, mugging, zombie virus outbreak, etc)
i trust SO to even share a bed with a stranger though. we're just in that kind of relationship. she's just awesome. and it's not that i dont care. no, not at all. i do care . A LOT. (see above notes about being a worrywart about other uncontrollable accidents stuff), but her loyalty to me? ZERO concerns. i would keep checking on her when she's en route. but as soon as she's at the hotel where she would be safe, i have no worries at all if she shares a room or a bed with whoever.
having said that, others are different. and yeah, people's choices and personalities and their posts here are reflective of their persons, but i think it's unfair to hold other people to what works for you / me / us.
we are all coping our best with the world around us. some people prefer their partners to be a bit jealous over things because they interpret that kind of behaviour as a signal of affection. others are the other way around, interpreting that kind of behaviour as a signal of mistrust and therefore of LACK of affection and confidence in the relationship. I dont think either way is more 'valid'. Both ways are very human.
So, y'all are making me really sad right now with being super judgemental about how others are living (and loving). Hope we can return to a place where we aren't a bunch of rude, condescending, defensive, unkind people in GirlGAF.
Because I love y'all but if this is how it's going to be in here for a while, I will avoid this thread for a while, because toxicity sucks (no matter the genders, no matter the place).
>:3
Professor Beef
Banned
...you worry about zombie virus outbreaks?
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
#DoomsdayPreppers
DONT LOOK AT ME THAT WAY ; ___ ;
(no, not really when awake and sane, but i am often not in that sphere)
*noms on beef *
*liliththepale
Banned
As a kid I went to my mom's hair artist. In high school I had an aspiring friend who hooked me up. Since college, I've just gone to the one with the best Yelp reviews (which fortunately was also the closest one to my house, by some coincidence)
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
I need to find a new hairdresser too. Some of my friends go monthly but I haven't been for a year... How much do you all spends/allocate for hair salons stuff monthly?
It's a bit hard to swallow for me to go up from zero dollars... But I do want to pamper myself a bit more. Cuz why not. I work hard for the monies 💵💰💸💵 huehuehue
Are yelp reviews all supposed to have 4 stars? Cause like all the salons that came up on a google search have 4's
I figure since I want to get a new style and such I'm willing to pay more than for like monthly/bimonthly maintenance
liliththepale
Banned
No, I go to a five-star salon.
Last time I spent $55. I only get my hair cut quarterly but that might be different now that I'm not bleaching and dying it blue anymore. (the color was monthly upkeep)
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
Oooooh new style! Very excite!! ... What style are you thinking of ��
$55 is very reasonable for quarterly spending. Thanks lili! I'll budget that much for myself to start with... I think ��
I live near pittsburgh
Uhhh whatever looks good. My hair is just past shoulders right now so whatever they can do with that
trab pu kcip
Member
some nice layers
Yeah that's probably going to be necessary. Also I like having bangs but I'm not sure if that will work out
NipplesAndToes23
Member
I try to find the black ones and compare prices and distance.
Recently, I had called up a stylist I was going to, to see how much she'd charge to start my dreads. She said $85 and I low key rejected her by saying I'll let her know, called the other one I been to and she said only $50. I couldn't make that appointment fast enough. $85 damn dollars!
Mineshaft_Gap
4077th
:O there's a documentary on kitties on PBS. World Series? No thx.
YesNOnoNOYes
Member
i like awesome styles but the thing with me is that i am horrible with the upkeep
if a style requires blowing or touching up daily. im gone :x
so i've been sporting either boycut or really, really long hair (atm my hair reaches my waist)
as for bang/fringe, i do that myself most of the time. i wish im less lazy with hair, but im the type that takes about 20 minutes between literally waking up to out the door in the mornings. i have loads of respects for other people who takes the time to get ready in the mornings. some people i work with look really nice *___* like, hair is done, and outfit is thought of and etc.
my wardrobe is a wrecked ship. i have been meaning forever to put an order to it, but again. laziness.
laziness is the bane of my living :<
uh... sorry for tangent :3 good luck with new style, misha <3
ScatheZombie
Member
I see someone who I think has great hair and I ask them who they go to.
Professor Beef
Banned
*noms on beef
every time, i always fall for it
Maybe I should cover myself in pepper so you get a sneezing fit!
weemadarthur
Member
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