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[idlethreats]

i cant read this thread anymore

This is indeed a disturbing universe.

Spoiler

goddamnit i wish i could scrub that story from my brain

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

i cant read this thread anymore

Oh, no.

Anyways, someone tell a happier story that doesnt involve guns.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Confession time. I've never, not once ever gotten my man off by giving him a blow job.

In contrast, the last time he went down on me I came four times. The record is six times. He'll make me have an orgasm then he'll still be down there kissing/nibbling when I really can't take it and I have to push him away. Then he comes up for a bit and we kiss and I catch my breath.... Then he says things like "I can tell you're ready again." Then he says it again.

I feel selfish inadequit. I want him to enjoy when go down on him but my jaw always locks up and gets sore. Plus I'm nervous about him ejaculating and it just hitting the back of my throat and then what if I gag.

It's not that I don't enjoy doing it. Something very sexy about it. I just lose stamina and patience.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Boob jobs are sick. The finished product looks terrible plus I'd rather keep feeling in my nipples thank you.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Nobody is born knowing how to give the perfect blowjob. You have to work on it.

If you want to practice just tell him someday. Chances are he won't mind.

 

[Devolution]

Confession time. I've never, not once ever gotten my man off by giving him a blow job.

In contrast, the last time he went down on me I came four times. The record is six times. He'll make me have an orgasm then he'll still be down there kissing/nibbling when I really can't take it and I have to push him away. Then he comes up for a bit and we kiss and I catch my breath.... Then he says things like "I can tell you're ready again." Then he says it again.

I feel selfish inadequit. I want him to enjoy when go down on him but my jaw always locks up and gets sore. Plus I'm nervous about him ejaculating and it just hitting the back of my throat and then what if I gag.

It's not that I don't enjoy doing it. Something very sexy about it. I just lose stamina and patience.

Really? It's like a guaranteed quick orgasm for my guys. Do you stroke, suck, move your tongue, wrist stroke the cock and fondle the balls?

 

[ClassyPenguin]

.

 

[shanshan310]

Yeah I have no idea whether he is joking about it or not. Like I said, he loves them and then sometimes says he wants them bigger. I can guarantee they won't be getting any bigger than this. There'd be too much strain on my back

If he's joking about it sometimes there's probably an element of truth to it.

Its fine if you want them but make sure you do all the proper research! They have to be changed every few years so it would be a fair bit of surgery.

Shan, you can be the one pulling and choking.

And pulling is not really painful. Most of the time.

Hm... HMMMmm.... I guess I'd never really thought about it. You guys give me so many great ideas!

Gentle hair pulling actually feels awesome, like a massage.

Confession time. I've never, not once ever gotten my man off by giving him a blow job.

In contrast, the last time he went down on me I came four times. The record is six times. He'll make me have an orgasm then he'll still be down there kissing/nibbling when I really can't take it and I have to push him away. Then he comes up for a bit and we kiss and I catch my breath.... Then he says things like "I can tell you're ready again." Then he says it again.

I feel selfish inadequit. I want him to enjoy when go down on him but my jaw always locks up and gets sore. Plus I'm nervous about him ejaculating and it just hitting the back of my throat and then what if I gag.

It's not that I don't enjoy doing it. Something very sexy about it. I just lose stamina and patience.

Don't worry ducky! My jaw gets sore as well I compensate by using my hands and tongue as well though, which has worked out pretty well. If you're nervous about him cumming in your mouth you can kinda feel when its almost time and just pull it out. But its mostly just a part of foreplay anyway so don't worry about it ^^

 

[RubyFaith]

Here's a fun story that relates to the current topic. This did not happen to me, but a friend of mine instead. They share this story with new people any chance they get.

The guy likes to go urban spelunking. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically just exploring abandoned buildings looking for things of value. Well on one of the trips he ends up finding a loaded gun, he takes the gun home and cleans it and takes the magazine out. Now they both enjoy pain in their sex lives but the girlfriend also enjoys getting fucked by odd objects. One night she decides during sex that she wants him to fuck her with the gun. They're going at it pretty good when all of a sudden the gun goes off while it is inside of her. Bullet goes straight out her lower back. He forgot to check the chamber of the gun while he cleaned it. So now she's bleeding from this bullet wound and he's just standing there in horror. Most people in this situation would go to the hospital, but instead she looks up at him and tells him that she isn't going to the hospital until he finishes fucking her and she gets off. They finish and he takes her to the hospital. She got really lucky in the fact that the bullet didn't hit anything important.

Now I enjoy pain in my sex life, but nothing in that crazy regard. It's still the craziest story involving sex that I've ever heard to this day.

where to begin...

If I were in this situation and my guy, being the dumbass that the character in your story is, forgot to clear the weapon and we got down to business which resulted in my getting shot in the vagina, I would probably go at him with the wrath of god. That is if I could even move of course (SO WAS SHE LIKE BLEEDING OUT WHILE HE FINISHED???) and then after I was heeled he would totes get a foot shoved so far up his ass...well that's it.

Man, people these days. I'm not ready to die over a fuck that would last maybe ten minutes, twelve tops.

 

[iirate]

You know, I've started to reply to Jambi's story like 4 times now, but just nothing I can say is sufficient. That may be the craziest sex story I've ever heard and actually sort of believed.

 

[leadbelly]

You know, I've started to reply to Jambi's story like 4 times now, but just nothing I can say is sufficient. That may be the craziest sex story I've ever heard and actually sort of believed.

I think parts of it are believable, but I also think it may have been spiced up a little.

I just find it hard to believe she wanted to continue having sex having been shot from the inside of her vagina. I'm sure a lot of women would be too concerned about the possible damage it has caused to have sex.

 

[Platy]

Here's a fun story that relates to the current topic. This did not happen to me, but a friend of mine instead. They share this story with new people any chance they get.

Reading this again I think this part is actualy the crazier part

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Really? It's like a guaranteed quick orgasm for my guys. Do you stroke, suck, move your tongue, wrist stroke the cock and fondle the balls?

I try. :/

Feels bad man.

If the orgasms he gives me are any indicator of what he's missing out on then I'm just a really bad girlfriend.

 

[FallingEdge]

Confession time. I've never, not once ever gotten my man off by giving him a blow job.

In contrast, the last time he went down on me I came four times. The record is six times. He'll make me have an orgasm then he'll still be down there kissing/nibbling when I really can't take it and I have to push him away. Then he comes up for a bit and we kiss and I catch my breath.... Then he says things like "I can tell you're ready again." Then he says it again.

I feel selfish inadequit. I want him to enjoy when go down on him but my jaw always locks up and gets sore. Plus I'm nervous about him ejaculating and it just hitting the back of my throat and then what if I gag.

It's not that I don't enjoy doing it. Something very sexy about it. I just lose stamina and patience.

Don't be upset. There are many guys who can't get off from a bj, myself included. Even hj don't really do it for me. It sucks but in this situation, it isn't on you.

 

[Samara]

damn, everyone here is having great sex.

 

[Platy]

If the orgasms he gives me are any indicator of what he's missing out on then I'm just a really bad girlfriend.

Don't worry ... he will NEVER have the orgasms he gives you

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Hm... HMMMmm.... I guess I'd never really thought about it. You guys give me so many great ideas!

Gentle hair pulling actually feels awesome, like a massage.

Next level: collar and chain.

I want him to enjoy when go down on him but my jaw always locks up and gets sore. Plus I'm nervous about him ejaculating and it just hitting the back of my throat and then what if I gag.

Don't worry ducky! My jaw gets sore as well I compensate by using my hands and tongue as well though, which has worked out pretty well. If you're nervous about him cumming in your mouth you can kinda feel when its almost time and just pull it out. But its mostly just a part of foreplay anyway so don't worry about it ^^

The jaw getting sore... Maybe you gals just have a small mouth. If not, well, I can only assume practicing is the only way to solve it.

But don't focus just on your mouth. Unless the guys have told you they like how you do handjobs don't focus on them either, focus on the tongue. You know, stroke it, use the tongue around some key parts, etc. I mean, there's a lot of stuff you can do there.

Also I've never had a (big) problem with the gag reflex or stuff when he ejaculates, but come on, I think y'all have stable boyfriends, if you're not into that tell him to stop when he gets close lol.

 

[Loona]

I try. :/

Feels bad man.

If the orgasms he gives me are any indicator of what he's missing out on then I'm just a really bad girlfriend.

For what it's worth, how much do you usually focus on the rest of him? There's this idea that men only have that one erogenous zone that gets joked about so much that I wonder how firmly some women actually believe it - it was sort of an issue with an ex of mine who had a tendency to go there first when she wanted to mess around.
Sure, it's nice, but working up to it by playing with the rest of his body might make him want it more, which could make the actual act feel more intense, if that's not happening already.

 

[InfiniteNine]

Next level: collar and chain.

I actually have these already. O:

 

[A.E Suggs]

Don't be upset. There are many guys who can't get off from a bj, myself included. Even hj don't really do it for me. It sucks but in this situation, it isn't on you.

Probably this for me as well, in highschool to college I could but I just can't seem to now. Then again its going on almost 6 months now since the last time I had sex so what would I know .

Oddly enough I think the best bj I ever had was from a guy, funny that.

damn, everyone here is having great sex.

I'm not .

 

[Devolution]

Next level: collar and chain.





The jaw getting sore... Maybe you gals just have a small mouth. If not, well, I can only assume practicing is the only way to solve it.

But don't focus just on your mouth. Unless the guys have told you they like how you do handjobs don't focus on them either, focus on the tongue. You know, stroke it, use the tongue around some key parts, etc. I mean, there's a lot of stuff you can do there.

Also I've never had a (big) problem with the gag reflex or stuff when he ejaculates, but come on, I think y'all have stable boyfriends, if you're not into that tell him to stop when he gets close lol.

I have a small mouth but it forced me to really utilize my hands and tongue. If you lick around the frenulum it can drive them cray cray. Also don't put your mouth on it right away. Tease with light touching a bit, then tonguing a bit then in the mouth. Also having a rhythm helps.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Well, even with a big mouth and no gag reflex you shouldn't just rely on that anyways.

 

[clearacell]

I try. :/

Feels bad man.

If the orgasms he gives me are any indicator of what he's missing out on then I'm just a really bad girlfriend.

Try this: get the head very wet with your saliva and rub it with your palm, you will make him squirm like he's having a seizure, then continue oral, rinse, repeat etc etc. I personally can't orgasm from a handjob or blowjob, but one of my exes was able to with the aid of a toy.

 

[iirate]

damn, everyone here is having great sex.

Hahaha, no.

=/

Don't worry ... he will NEVER have the orgasms he gives you

Starting to find out how true this is!

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Something really weird happened to me today. I took a nap.

Well when I woke up I felt like my body had just had an orgasm. I went from feeling blissful to bring confused. I've never had that happen to me before and I didn't even know it was a thing. I've heard of wet dreams...but only for boys.

I can't for the life of me remember what I as dreaming about either. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

 

[Devolution]

Something really weird happened to me today. I took a nap.

Well when I woke up I felt like my body had just had an orgasm. I went from feeling blissful to bring confused. I've never had that happen to me before and I didn't even know it was a thing. I've heard of wet dreams...but only for boys.

I can't for the life of me remember what I as dreaming about either. Has this ever happened to anyone else?

I've orgasmed in a dream before.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Not to be tmi but I love giving hj's. I can make him finish that way but it can take a while though. I love watching it... It's really something to actually see him cumming. It's animalistic and weird but I get off on watching him explode.

 

[Devolution]

Not to be tmi but I love giving hj's. I can make him finish that way but it can take a while though. I love watching it... It's really something.

It's one way to definitely exert control.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

It's one way to definitely exert control.

I see myself being more submissive so it's not really that.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Has this ever happened to anyone else?

Yeah, but I was like... 15?.

Not to be tmi but I love giving hj's. I can make him finish that way but it can take a while though. I love watching it... It's really something to actually see him cumming. It's animalistic and weird but I get off on watching him explode.

I don't think there's anything weird about loving to see a partner orgasming.

 

[Ezalc]

Here's a fun story that relates to the current topic. This did not happen to me, but a friend of mine instead. They share this story with new people any chance they get.

The guy likes to go urban spelunking. For those of you who don't know what that is, it's basically just exploring abandoned buildings looking for things of value. Well on one of the trips he ends up finding a loaded gun, he takes the gun home and cleans it and takes the magazine out. Now they both enjoy pain in their sex lives but the girlfriend also enjoys getting fucked by odd objects. One night she decides during sex that she wants him to fuck her with the gun. They're going at it pretty good when all of a sudden the gun goes off while it is inside of her. Bullet goes straight out her lower back. He forgot to check the chamber of the gun while he cleaned it. So now she's bleeding from this bullet wound and he's just standing there in horror. Most people in this situation would go to the hospital, but instead she looks up at him and tells him that she isn't going to the hospital until he finishes fucking her and she gets off. They finish and he takes her to the hospital. She got really lucky in the fact that the bullet didn't hit anything important.

Now I enjoy pain in my sex life, but nothing in that crazy regard. It's still the craziest story involving sex that I've ever heard to this day.

What in the hell? The bolded part just makes this story even more bizarre.

damn, everyone here is having sex.

Fixed for forever alone status.

 

[Platy]

damn, everyone here is having great sex.

 

[Mineshaft_Gap]

Best Harry Potter movie? Gogogo

 

[iirate]

Best Harry Potter movie? Gogogo

Um, the books?

Spoiler

Maybe the first, just for the atmosphere. Definitely not the sixth. I never saw seven part 1, but seven part 2 was entertaining, even if half of that was making fun of it. Also, I've never seen 3, but I hear it's pretty great.

 

[Loona]

Order of the Phoenix - loved the book, felt the story finally got some real "teeth", although it felt like it forced itself into a softer status quo toward the end.
Movie Umbridge, however, completely stole the show, and in a good way.

 

[Kimaka]

Best Harry Potter movie? Gogogo

Goblet of Fire. Breakdancing Durmstrang students. Nuff said.

Order of the Phoenix - loved the book, felt the story finally got some real "teeth", although it felt like it forced itself into a softer status quo toward the end.
Movie Umbridge, however, completely stole the show, and in a good way.

The actor who played Umbridge did a amazing job. I hated her in the books but the movies made me love her.

 

[JambiBum]

You know, I've started to reply to Jambi's story like 4 times now, but just nothing I can say is sufficient. That may be the craziest sex story I've ever heard and actually sort of believed.

Haha. I wish I had a way to prove that it actually happened but since it didn't actually involve me I don't. I have seen the scar on her lower back from the bullet though.

I have my own stories that are a lot less fucked up but I thought that I would share that one because of how crazy it is.

 

[Platy]

Best Harry Potter movie? Gogogo

Cuaron's

Totaly bizarre, the most human of those movies and awesome directing and time travel

 

[A.E Suggs]

Best Harry Potter movie? Gogogo

The second one, why you ask? Because i'm a hipster and when you've only seen 3 of the movies the fans usually always pick the first second as the best one without saying why.

Edit: I have a question ducky, your account was created in 2009 way before mine, how are you still a junior when even i'm a full member and mine was activated this year?

 

[Loona]

The second one, why you ask? Because i'm a hipster and when you've only seen 3 of the movies the fans usually always pick the first second as the best one without saying why.

Highlander 2 exists (sort of), how is this a thing?...

 

[Professor Beef]

4th Harry Potter movie, mos def.

Edit: I have a question ducky, your account was created in 2009 way before mine, how are you still a junior when even i'm a full member and mine was activated this year?

People can be perma-juniored. It can also be reversed.

 

[Emitan]

Apparently GAF thinks I have big boobs?

 

[InfiniteNine]

Apparently GAF thinks I have big boobs?

Bazongas!

 

[Lissar]

Bazongas!

Bazooms!

 

[Emitan]

I don't really remember anything from the movies. They don't stick out in my mind as well as the books.

But I'm someone who dislikes movies and loves reading so I'm not surprised.

 

[The Anti-Monitor]

Best movie is the third, then the eighth

 

[Platy]

Apparently GAF thinks I have big boobs?

Gaf probably thinks that everyone that posts in this thread have big boobs

Bazooms!

Bada bing, bada bang, bada Bazooms

 

[Arsenic Yellow]

Best Harry Potter movie? Gogogo

I've only seen the first and 6th movie. It's ok though because I've only read the fourth book.

 

[Emitan]

Gaf probably thinks that everyone that posts in this thread have big boobs

I wouldn't mind if mine were >_>

 

[Platy]

I wouldn't mind if mine were >_>

Don't know about that .... we are talking back problems big ?