Agreed with you, but I think they couldn't anticipate a lot of these problems with a limited amount of players in the private, controlled beta.
I actually think they should have done a tiered release.
I think that they should have let people "opt in" to play, on the social club actually call it a beta and say that they're going to experience issues. Take the approach that a lot of services have done lately, for instance, like Mailbox on the iPhone. Make people request that they want to be able to use the service and put them on a waiting list. Slowly introduce players to it over a month, and then have an "official" release date something like late October. Sure, it'd suck if your buddy got in and you couldn't, but it's basically the same as it's been for now.
They are clearly taking the "long view" with GTA Online, so I don't know why they didn't take that approach. They've lost a lot of good will with many players.. I know that if a lot of my friends had these issues they'd just never play again. My friends and I like to play games but we're mostly casual with our dedication to gaming now, and if a game just doesn't work, or you lose your progress, or something else, then we only have so much tolerance for that.