-
Hey, guest user. Hope you're enjoying NeoGAF! Have you considered registering for an account? Come join us and add your take to the daily discourse.
Guys at my girlsfriends workplace hitting on her
- Thread starter ethanny2
- Start date
WordsintheWater
Member
The one thing I do know is that a lot of this seems fishy, it may be the way you're telling the story, but it seems off. I also think it's a bit weird that she feels the need to tell you every time she gets hit on, is she trying to get a rise out of you? If nothing happened with it then why feel the need to tell you? I understand for her to tell you about the situations that made her go to HR though.
Mammoth Jones
Member
Elaborate? Because I mean I understand a well intentioned maybe awkward dude that doesn't see a ring, gets along with her and tries to ask her out...ONCE and when she politely informs her she got a man he backs off and keeps it respectful.
But on the otherhand if you got dudes doing this:
You crossing a line...
Aizen.S.Kennedy
Banned
Seen it time and time again. Hopefully OP is listening. Oh and good look posting that gif. I need to start using it everytime somebody sayin cold truth to OP.
mordecaii83
Member
Seen this too, same result. She even tried coming back around, apologizing, trying to get back with me when she saw how well I was doing. Some people always looking for the next thing.
RecRoulette
Member
Your Entertainer
Member
OP - I'm going to reiterate what's been said.
This is very fishy for a multitude of reasons. Proceed with caution.
Lol destroyed.
This is very fishy for a multitude of reasons. Proceed with caution.
Lol destroyed.
Woah! Sent to the ether...!
killdatninja
Banned
Story isn't adding up, either you or your GF, it just doesn't make sense.
1-2 creepers at work might a "normal" amount of guys just being way too thirsty, but when you say it's 6-7 guys? That's the kind of job she should immediately find somewhere else to work, nothing good will come of her staying there. Let's say she finally has the courage to tell these 6-7 guys to stop contacting her for anything. Out of all these guys who backdoored their way to get her phone number, I would say at least 1 guy will be petty about it and do some even more questionable stuff to spite her (spread rumors, give her misinformation, basically make their work life hell). I've seen it happen too many times in previous jobs, where some guys just take a female being nice as them flirtatious and into them. Guy does something super fishy to get closer to said female, female finally says "I don't want to be your friend or anything else", the guy is super petty and does some fishy stuff to hurt her (one did the silent treatment which was funny until the awkwardness of said guy talking to you and pretending like she wasn't sitting in the same table as me). It's exactly why most places don't like it when employees date and why many people adopt the "don't shit where you eat" slogan.
1-2 creepers at work might a "normal" amount of guys just being way too thirsty, but when you say it's 6-7 guys? That's the kind of job she should immediately find somewhere else to work, nothing good will come of her staying there. Let's say she finally has the courage to tell these 6-7 guys to stop contacting her for anything. Out of all these guys who backdoored their way to get her phone number, I would say at least 1 guy will be petty about it and do some even more questionable stuff to spite her (spread rumors, give her misinformation, basically make their work life hell). I've seen it happen too many times in previous jobs, where some guys just take a female being nice as them flirtatious and into them. Guy does something super fishy to get closer to said female, female finally says "I don't want to be your friend or anything else", the guy is super petty and does some fishy stuff to hurt her (one did the silent treatment which was funny until the awkwardness of said guy talking to you and pretending like she wasn't sitting in the same table as me). It's exactly why most places don't like it when employees date and why many people adopt the "don't shit where you eat" slogan.
Messofanego
Banned
Glad you didn't fall for that bullshit unlike a lot of other guys would.
Sketchy as hell situation. 10+ dudes got your girls number and shes got trust issues.
Old office i worked at had a girl like that who probably slept with a double digit number of dudes but then would date some shmuck who believed her lies. I would bet if you snooped her phone youd find stuff.
This is why I date girls I have the carfax on 👀 Lol
Old office i worked at had a girl like that who probably slept with a double digit number of dudes but then would date some shmuck who believed her lies. I would bet if you snooped her phone youd find stuff.
This is why I date girls I have the carfax on 👀 Lol
LumpOfCole
Member
Bring your laptop into Geek Squad as ask them to check for viruses. Make sure to nclude a folder on your Desktop titled "What I do to those who hit on my girlfriend", and make sure the folder includes a lot of wrestling GIFs featuring The Rock. As is the tradition, Geek Squad won't be able to help but to look inside the folder, and the whole store will certainly get the message.
Admiral Woofington
Member
Why did I laugh at this so much. I would also include a picture of your girlfriend and you together, and a picture of you staring into the best buy window with a crazy eyes look
Aizen.S.Kennedy
Banned
what's wrong with double digits?
Shambala
Member
Lmao what 😂😂. Idk that is corny as fuck. But funny as hell just to think someone will even think of being scared by that 😂😂
I shouldve picked my words better. I meant she slept with like 20 guys out the 50 who worked there. Do you, sleep with who you want, but my point was that the guy she started dating had no idea, plus the fact that she continued to sleep with at least 5 others behind his back
Nail on the head here.
Dated this one girl and she was on me from the start. Like I was in a T-Mobile getting a new phone and she was like, "Did you fuck the sales girl!" I was all WTF are you on about?!?
And this was when I was studying for my comprehensive Doctoral exams. No big deal. I could use more stress right?
Then a week after my exams I catch her in a lie and discover she slept with two other guys.
Aizen.S.Kennedy
Banned
Ohhh yea that's fucked up lol. I'm in the triple digits club so I was thinking double digits for an adult is normal.
always crazy bacon
Banned
Projection in action, it's surprisingly common and accurate.
SkyMasterson
Member
Not really. Not saying OP's gf isn't atractive but when you work in a male dominated setting, dudes get thirsty and make the homeliest of girls feel like Goddesses.
Saw it way too many times in retail haha.
Update: I talked to my girlfriend about how I feel uncomfortable about all these guys hitting on her and the fact that she hasn't blocked any of these dudes. So she showed me her messages with these guys on her phone and she hadn't texted a lot of them since December a little bit before she met me. And the contents of the text are exactly what I thought they would be, scummy guys hitting on her asking her to go out, or to go smoke or cracking some stupid ass jokes in the hopes that they get with her.
She usually avoided their invitations and asked something that would make the guys feel uncomfortable, like if they would ask her "Do you want to go to the movies?" She would make an excuse (keep in mind these messages were when she was not dating me) or ask the guy "are you gonna bring your girlfriend too?" and they would usually stop texting her. And all the guys that want to get with her, she blocked their numbers and let even text (with her phone) the guy at who tried to switch his schedule to get closer to her. I said (verbatum) "This is [my name] [my gfs name]'s boyfriend. Can you stop texting my girlfriend. Im not about that shit. I don't want to say it again". She didn't block one of the dudes but I did say more or less the same thing to him, but I didn't want her to block him in the off chance she could get a ride to work if she couldn't find the bus.
And I got a little more of the backstory, she was dating someone else when she started working there and these guys still did the same thing (hit on her, even when they had girlfriends). Put frankly, this city (where I only got to for college) is full of overweight (sorry for bringing race into it) caucasian people who are super ignorant. To give you an idea I was walking down the street with a Chinese friend and a kid and his mom (for fucks sake) made fun of him and called him jackie chan. My girlfriend is mixed (chilean/japanese) and she's not overweight, and while I think she looks good, I think the people (who are from this city) that work in Best Buy consider her attractive in comparison to other people in the area. And she told me one time at one of her previous jobs someone asked her out, then asked her if she was a mulatoo (wtf). So that's why shes getting hit on so much, not a humble brag guys.
But then she told me in the period where she broke up with her previous boyfriend and still worked at Best Buy she went out to get coffee with one the guys at her job, but then see him/ignored him after that(I know sus). But other than that yesterday was going pretty good because she understand how I felt about this situation and tried to help solve the problem. She also said that she was considering getting a new phone number, and she was naive to assume that she could be friends with males, without thinking that they have ulterior motives.
...Everything was going great and I was hanging out her last night lying on her bed and I wanted to install a game on my phone but had to make space. So I moved some of my apps to the external sd card and then looked up some stuff to learn how to root my phone. She walked in and looked at my phone and said she saw a video with a girl and that I swiped it away at the last second. WTF. I really don't know what she saw (I was looking at rooting instructions) but she was adamant that she saw something. She thought I was looking at other girls on instragram and got really angry. And then I told her I wasn't even on instragram, and when I am on instagram and there is women on the feed its usually from the "explore page" not my home page. So she calls me a liar (she never used instragram), I tell her that the images on search are random and I can't control if a girl's image comes up. After a while she calms down for a minute.
For the backstory I said I would avoid all interactions with the girl upstairs and even before (maybe 3 weeks ago) I told the girl upstairs can you please text my girlfriend and tell her you don't like me. And she did and I haven't talked to her for 3 weeks. Then her birthday came around and she asked the whole house to go out to eat, I said no because my girlfriend would flip. Then they came back and had cake (again I wasn't there) they offered me a piece I got a slice and left. I told my girlfriend afterwards that I went to eat cake and left immediately, I asked SPECIFICALLY "are you cool? Are you not gonna get irrationally angry at me within the next week about this?"
She said yes Im good, and we had a good time.
Until last night... I guess she was still riding the jealousy from the "video" she saw on my phone and just exploded she said you wanted to see that girl, I told you not to see her, Why don't you just date her, are you only dating me because she doesn't want to date you etc... I showed her my messages and I really never messaged her for 3+ weeks.
I really can't win man I didn't even do anything, long story short I had to leave her house and it was pretty late. When our relationship is good she seems to always find some way to fuck it up. Shes already going to therapy to work through her trust issues, and I even agreed to go with her to counseling but it doesn't seem to work. One week she'll love me and she promises that she won't overreact or act irrationally, then the next week comes and she always does. I love her but I and I want to work through these problems but I don't know if I can go on like this not being trusted.
She usually avoided their invitations and asked something that would make the guys feel uncomfortable, like if they would ask her "Do you want to go to the movies?" She would make an excuse (keep in mind these messages were when she was not dating me) or ask the guy "are you gonna bring your girlfriend too?" and they would usually stop texting her. And all the guys that want to get with her, she blocked their numbers and let even text (with her phone) the guy at who tried to switch his schedule to get closer to her. I said (verbatum) "This is [my name] [my gfs name]'s boyfriend. Can you stop texting my girlfriend. Im not about that shit. I don't want to say it again". She didn't block one of the dudes but I did say more or less the same thing to him, but I didn't want her to block him in the off chance she could get a ride to work if she couldn't find the bus.
And I got a little more of the backstory, she was dating someone else when she started working there and these guys still did the same thing (hit on her, even when they had girlfriends). Put frankly, this city (where I only got to for college) is full of overweight (sorry for bringing race into it) caucasian people who are super ignorant. To give you an idea I was walking down the street with a Chinese friend and a kid and his mom (for fucks sake) made fun of him and called him jackie chan. My girlfriend is mixed (chilean/japanese) and she's not overweight, and while I think she looks good, I think the people (who are from this city) that work in Best Buy consider her attractive in comparison to other people in the area. And she told me one time at one of her previous jobs someone asked her out, then asked her if she was a mulatoo (wtf). So that's why shes getting hit on so much, not a humble brag guys.
But then she told me in the period where she broke up with her previous boyfriend and still worked at Best Buy she went out to get coffee with one the guys at her job, but then see him/ignored him after that(I know sus). But other than that yesterday was going pretty good because she understand how I felt about this situation and tried to help solve the problem. She also said that she was considering getting a new phone number, and she was naive to assume that she could be friends with males, without thinking that they have ulterior motives.
...Everything was going great and I was hanging out her last night lying on her bed and I wanted to install a game on my phone but had to make space. So I moved some of my apps to the external sd card and then looked up some stuff to learn how to root my phone. She walked in and looked at my phone and said she saw a video with a girl and that I swiped it away at the last second. WTF. I really don't know what she saw (I was looking at rooting instructions) but she was adamant that she saw something. She thought I was looking at other girls on instragram and got really angry. And then I told her I wasn't even on instragram, and when I am on instagram and there is women on the feed its usually from the "explore page" not my home page. So she calls me a liar (she never used instragram), I tell her that the images on search are random and I can't control if a girl's image comes up. After a while she calms down for a minute.
For the backstory I said I would avoid all interactions with the girl upstairs and even before (maybe 3 weeks ago) I told the girl upstairs can you please text my girlfriend and tell her you don't like me. And she did and I haven't talked to her for 3 weeks. Then her birthday came around and she asked the whole house to go out to eat, I said no because my girlfriend would flip. Then they came back and had cake (again I wasn't there) they offered me a piece I got a slice and left. I told my girlfriend afterwards that I went to eat cake and left immediately, I asked SPECIFICALLY "are you cool? Are you not gonna get irrationally angry at me within the next week about this?"
She said yes Im good, and we had a good time.
Until last night... I guess she was still riding the jealousy from the "video" she saw on my phone and just exploded she said you wanted to see that girl, I told you not to see her, Why don't you just date her, are you only dating me because she doesn't want to date you etc... I showed her my messages and I really never messaged her for 3+ weeks.
I really can't win man I didn't even do anything, long story short I had to leave her house and it was pretty late. When our relationship is good she seems to always find some way to fuck it up. Shes already going to therapy to work through her trust issues, and I even agreed to go with her to counseling but it doesn't seem to work. One week she'll love me and she promises that she won't overreact or act irrationally, then the next week comes and she always does. I love her but I and I want to work through these problems but I don't know if I can go on like this not being trusted.
Thanks for the update my man
Sounds like she's got MAJOR trust issues, or she's projecting (probably not but who knows).
I'd say to give it a shot for a bit longer but if the same trust related shenanigans keep happening over the next few weeks you should probably do yourself a favour and move on.
Sounds like she's got MAJOR trust issues, or she's projecting (probably not but who knows).
I'd say to give it a shot for a bit longer but if the same trust related shenanigans keep happening over the next few weeks you should probably do yourself a favour and move on.
Gotdatmoney
Member
^^^How exhausting. Break up, move on with your life. This is stupid
Lactose_Intolerant
Member
Is this the first time you have mentioned she is in therapy for this issue in this thread?
Time to move on.
Also, never break contact with your friends. They will be around longer than your college gf.
Time to move on.
Also, never break contact with your friends. They will be around longer than your college gf.
Messofanego
Banned
She got trust issues and insane jealousy, yet when you ask her to block all these guys, she comes up with some lame excuse of getting rides to work. She's being very controlling of you. This doesn't seem mutual, and not a stable relationship. I think she needs to improve by herself before you come back to the relationship, put your foot down cause her fluctuating behaviour needs to be sorted out. She thinks she can get away with everything but murder cause you accept her back into your arms after she messes up, so you've got to set some standards.
Jest Chillin
Member
This thing is one huge red flag. Weird details, weird reactions, and the story seems like something(s) is/are missing in the conveyance.
OP, you need to move on and both of you need to work on your jealousy and trust issues.
OP, you need to move on and both of you need to work on your jealousy and trust issues.
Missed this part. Sheesh man, the honeymoon period is supposed to be the GOOD part of the relationship.
Spaced Harrier
Member
Gotdatmoney
Member
If you stay in this relationship I can only assume you love drama.
It's been 2 months. You don't even have losses to cut yet.
You know this is stupid so if you don't leave then anything that happens afterwards is on you.
You don't need to be coddled here, holy fuck man. Come on.
It's been 2 months. You don't even have losses to cut yet.
You know this is stupid so if you don't leave then anything that happens afterwards is on you.
You don't need to be coddled here, holy fuck man. Come on.
Mammoth Jones
Member
The fuck are you doing two months in tolerating this shit?? Cmon man.... Have some self respect. Dont be that doormat that just lets his girl run the fuck over him. All this drama two months in and you don't see red flags the fuck everywhere?
Get her out of your life asap. Trust me there are better women out there.
Wait, wait? A whole bunch of guys got her number through co-workers or friends of hers? That seems... really messed up and almost unlikely. Who would just give out someone else's number like that without their permission? It happening once or twice is weird. But 10+ guys getting her number in that way seems really weird. I don't know about that. Not calling her a liar but... something doesn't add up if she told you the majority of guys got her number through that method.
But it doesn't sound like this relationship is going to work out, to be honest. Only two months in and both of you are already jealous about things. It's not really a good sign for the future. Someone is going to crack and want out, probably her based on the way that you talk about her and say you don't want to lose her.
It also sounds like she's just looking for reasons to be mad/jealous towards you. Like she's projecting and wants to feel better about not exactly telling these guys to go away. Hopefully it's as simple as she just likes the attention from them and there's not more to it than that.
But it doesn't sound like this relationship is going to work out, to be honest. Only two months in and both of you are already jealous about things. It's not really a good sign for the future. Someone is going to crack and want out, probably her based on the way that you talk about her and say you don't want to lose her.
It also sounds like she's just looking for reasons to be mad/jealous towards you. Like she's projecting and wants to feel better about not exactly telling these guys to go away. Hopefully it's as simple as she just likes the attention from them and there's not more to it than that.
I don't get it. He's asking for advice about setting up a Tinder account. You're suggesting that the existence of an environment where the OP's girlfriend will get prolonged exposure to other guys means she'll eventually leave him for one of those guys.
What's the relation?
Lunarwhale
Member
sever and hit the gym.
she's being controlling. she's trying to get better, but therapy and self improvement take considerable time and effort, and you're already asking for gaf advice. it's okay to acknowledge that you can't handle all her baggage.
so chin up. sever and hit the gym.
she's being controlling. she's trying to get better, but therapy and self improvement take considerable time and effort, and you're already asking for gaf advice. it's okay to acknowledge that you can't handle all her baggage.
so chin up. sever and hit the gym.
Milly Osworth
Member
Kill Your Masters
Member
Mammoth Jones
Member
Some people are really afraid of being alone for five minutes....
Snkfanatic
Banned
No kidding...my god people you don't need someone in your lives that bad. If you need counseling after that short of a time. BAIL THE FUCK OUT
Stallion Dan
Member
So much useless info in OP, that entire first paragraph got nothing to do with the topic, and plenty more is meaningless and unrelated to the situation topic about.
That said, is there a reason she hasn't just blocked their numbers? Is pretty simple, unwanted text/calls>block.
That said, is there a reason she hasn't just blocked their numbers? Is pretty simple, unwanted text/calls>block.