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[Willco]

Isn't life always this evil. Right when I'm perfectly happy with not dating, three perfectly suitable women thrust themselves in my lives. Why God, why? I will break down all three and ask your forum advice, because quite surprisingly, GAF has a decent track record with some of these decisions...

Girl A: I think I've actually done a topic on her before. She's a 9'er, a real hottie and has an amazing body. Problem? Sharp as a butter knife and has a stutter (not real bad or anything), which pretty much surfaces everytime she tries to speak to me. I pretty much shrugged her off months ago, but recently she's made quite an attempt to get my attention by verbally sparring with me. One of her office attempts (I'm dead serious, here!):

Your face makes me want to fall asleep.

I almost wanted to slap the stupid out of her right then and there. Her friends contest that she's just desperate to get my attention and she is hot, so hot that I probably have no business dating her, but I just can't help but think that it'd be like babysitting if we went on a date.

Babysitting with sex.

Girl B: She's cute, and an all around wonderful human being. I don't think there's a mean bone in her body and she's surprisingly mature. Problem? She hangs on every word I say and I think she's pretty much attracted to me because I'm funny. That's great, but I hate chicks like that. They think I'm funny and want to date me, only to find out that I don't want to be funny every goddamn second of the day. Sometimes I want to watch the game with some peace and quiet. If you want a stand up comedian, go buy a ticket to Dave Chappelle, bitch.

Girl C: She's cute and easily the girl I'm most attracted to. However, she'd be a real project. She said she's conflicted about me, that she's attracted to me, but claims - get this! - I can be insensitive! In-fucking-sensitive? Me? No way. If Jay, Jason, Chris or anyone who has met me in real-life wants to respond to this, don't. Everyone knows I'm a saint.

Why am I attracted to her? She sort of intidimidates me. And she's not afraid to tell me to shut up. I love women like that. I say stupid shit sometimes, everyone does, and a woman who is not afraid to say that gets extra points in my books.

She's also quite educated and I always dig smart chicks, but it looks like I'd have to earn my stripes with her and that's something I'm not necessarily looking forward to.

And, hopefully, I'll try to get pics of one or two of these individuals when I get my camera back on Monday.

Also, in before FHUTA.

 

[Guzim]

Why not all three?

 

[Mugen]

Your face makes me want to fall asleep.

I believe you. This girl wants you BAD. And she's a 9er like you said... I would hit this now and save the other ones for later.

 

[Willco]

Why not all three?

I don't have the time or the stamina to create some elaborate web of lies, especially since all three frequent the same places. It'd be like a bad episode of Saved by the Bell or something.

 

[Bob White]

Why not all three?

Thread fucking over.

I don't have the time or the stamina to create some elaborate web of lies, especially since all three frequent the same places. It'd be like a bad episode of Saved by the Bell or something.

Damn. Alright, FHUTA with two of them and leave the one you like best for later. When the first two get hip to each other and want to break up with you, you won't be at any real loss. That'll be the time you start trying to get with the third, most liked chick.

You get in bed with ALL THREE OF THEM and to top it off, you'll be with the chick you like most.

 

[etiolate]

Well you don't want a girl who annoys you, but it sounds like yo.....Zz..Z......Zzzzzzzzzzz

 

[MC Safety]

Do we need another one of these, "god, please look at me and give me the attention I so desperately crave" threads?

Whoa. I just answered my own question.

 

[human5892]

I don't have the time or the stamina to create some elaborate web of lies, especially since all three frequent the same places. It'd be like a bad episode of Saved by the Bell or something.

Bad...but hilarious.

 

[Socreges]

I will break down all three and ask your forum advice, because quite surprisingly, GAF has a decent track record with some of these decisions...

You know damn well we don't, you just wanted to tell everyone. :lol

Anyway, if you truly do need help and haven't already made up your mind, Girl A sounds kind of off. Girl B sounds like she has a poor sense of humour.

Go with Girl C. Definitely. Women don't mind guys with flaws, and I suspect she quite likes you if she's pointing them out. That may sound weird, but so are women. And I love a girl who challenges me. Sounds like you do, too. Go for her. Do your best. Don't compromise who you are, but honestly try for it.

 

[Willco]

Do we need another one of these, "god, please look at me and give me the attention I so desperately crave" threads?

Whoa. I just answered my own question.

... Never dated before I see? Sorry for you.

Well you don't want a girl who annoys you, but it sounds like yo.....Zz..Z......Zzzzzzzzzzz

:lol

Damn. Alright, FHUTA with two of them and leave the one you like best for later. When the first two get hip to each other and want to break up with you, you won't be at any real loss. That'll be the time you start trying to get with the third, most liked chick.

You get in bed with ALL THREE OF THEM and to top it off, you'll be with the chick you like most.

The dumb chick might not be smart enough to figure our your elaborate, well-conceived plan, but Girl B might and then we'd all be FHUTA'd... in a bad way!

Girl C would never fall for this trick! She'll take time to woo!

You know damn well we don't, you just wanted to tell everyone. :lol

This is partly true, but I have not been led astray with relationship advice in the two previous topics I posted. Mostly. FHUTA's don't count.

 

[aku:jiki]

What's this bullshit? I came in here hoping I'd get a chance to win a date with the Federman.

 

[Ecrofirt]

I-I-I-I-I-I'd go with the st-st-st-stutterer

 

[iapetus]

What's this bullshit? I came in here hoping I'd get a chance to win a date with the Federman.

Just buy him jewellery.

Anyway, the answer here is as clear as a "should I buy Gamecube or PS2?" thread. Girl C is the correct answer, for reasons too many and varied to go into right now. Or failing that, aku:jiki, but I expect to see some commission if you go for that option.

 

[Socreges]

Just speaking generally, because I like to share my thoughts...

Every now and again something happens that I'd like to tell everyone; whoever, it doesn't matter. If I don't have a friend to tell, I'm tempted to inform the GAF. I'm a little vain like that. We all are.. it's a natural reaction to one extent or another. There's something about telling people about how great things are, or inadvertently suggesting something is great by presenting it as a "problem" lol), that is sort of nice. As if the people reading your situation matter, or that they then admire your life. As if the pleasantry of what's happened isn't rewarding enough on its own. Like, I'd feel even better if everyone knew about it, and it doesn't seem to matter as much because they don't.

At least I'm conscious of that small part of me (I make it sound much more significant than it is) and suppress it. I try to be "authentic" for whatever that's worth (nothing?).

But then you've got people like AlphaSnake who can't contain themselves from weekend to weekend. The drama won't stop with that guy! Yet it always somehow centers around him being a total pimp. What a coincidence. :lol

 

[Fresh Prince]

For sex:
A and then B when A falls apart, B will be there since she wants you anyway.

For a relationship:
C and then B when C falls apart (since you are on GAF and there will be enivitable thread about your breakup), B will be there since she wants you anyway.

Either way I'd say you couldn't lose.

She said she's conflicted about me, that she's attracted to me, but claims - get this! - I can be insensitive! In-fucking-sensitive? Me? No way.

Proof this thread, it's like RobertSan all over again.

Oh yeah - PICS PLZ!!1!!

 

[MC Safety]

... Never dated before I see? Sorry for you.

Cute.

Here's some more attention, you InterWeb advice-seeking guy!

 

[Willco]

Just speaking generally, because I like to share my thoughts...

Every now and again something happens that I'd like to tell everyone; whoever, it doesn't matter. If I don't have a friend to tell, I'm tempted to inform the GAF. I'm a little vain like that. We all are.. it's a natural reaction to one extent or another. There's something about telling people about how great things are, or inadvertently suggesting something is great by presenting it as a "problem" lol), that is sort of nice. As if the people reading your situation matter, or that they then admire your life. As if the pleasantry of what's happened isn't rewarding enough on its own. Like, I'd feel even better if everyone knew about it, and it doesn't seem to matter as much because they don't.

At least I'm conscious of that small part of me (I make it sound much more significant than it is) and suppress it. I try to be "authentic" for whatever that's worth (nothing?).

But then you've got people like AlphaSnake who can't contain themselves from weekend to weekend. The drama won't stop with that guy! Yet it always somehow centers around him being a total pimp. What a coincidence. :lol

I'd probably vent on my friend, but he likes one of the women in question, so I don't feel quite comfortable talking to him.

People will tell you that I'm far from an ogre, but not a handsome black man aka bishoptl (why not me, God?) that can woo the ladies with his box of free Relic hats and t-shirts and enormous black penis. So it's kind of odd that this is the position life put me in.

What's this bullshit? I came in here hoping I'd get a chance to win a date with the Federman.

While I'm flattered, I warn people I'm not too much different in real-life than I am online. I'm a smartass through and through, I don't pull punches and I'm just as sarcastic/cynical in real life. I'm sure those who have met me will attest to this. However, I don't troll threads, invent pranks and I'm not a complete bastard. I have a loose set of morals and ethics, like dating one girl at a time (and no rape!) that I somewhat abide by. Some of it's show, but most of it is not.

And because of that, the Federman charm has no middle ground. You love me or you hate me.

 

[demi]

I almost wanted to slap the stupid out of her right then and there.

 

[Cubsfan23]

Who says you have to lie in order to date 3 women?
btw, that one girl actually said " Your face makes me want to fall asleep......in your bed" You must not have heard her after she stuttered.

 

[Willco]

Who says you have to lie in order to date 3 women?

Eh, I'm not sure if I'm up to the task of dating three women. Seriously. I might be a dick, but I'm a gentlemen dick. Sometimes.

btw, that one girl actually said " Your face makes me want to fall asleep......in your bed" You must not have heard her after she stuttered.

I wish she would say NOTHING. She'd be a lot more attractive.

 

[Boogie]

" Your face makes me want to fall asleep......in your bed" .

YES! THE HEALING RAYS OF THE SUN

...IN HIS PANTS

 

[Mike Works]

I wish she would say NOTHING. She'd be a lot more attractive.

Next time she comes up with a lame insult, just zing her good, really fucking good, and when she stands there speechless after getting the zinging of a lifetime, clears her throat, and calmly states, "What did you just say?", reply, "What? Did I STUTTER?"

 

[Scrow]

Babysitting with sex.

That just sounds so wrong...

 

[Dilbert]

My two cents:

Girl A: Don't hook up with her UNLESS you are 100% sure that it won't be discovered by Girl B or C. There is no long-term potential with her, but you run the risk of wrecking your chances with one of the other two.

Girl B: She sounds like a decent girl, but you're already assuming it wouldn't work out because she couldn't possibly enjoy you in your non-comedic moments. Chances are that you don't really know that...you're projecting based on your past experiences, but every girl is different. If you do end up dating her, you will want to spend some "ordinary time" as soon as you can to find out if she likes that side of you as well...or if she's expecting to be entertained constantly.

Girl C: You said it yourself -- she's the girl you're most attracted to. Doesn't that tell you something?

I think the bottom line is that you REALLY want Girl C, but you're freaked out by the idea that you'd have to compromise and/or grow to land her. You're looking for anyone else who can be an "easy out" of the situation: someone you can date who won't require you to do anything differently.

At least in my experience, the best women are those who inspire -- not push -- you to be more than you thought you could be. She sees potential in you...why not prove her right?

 

[Cauliflower of Love]

Date A for a little bit so that you have material to laugh it up with B. After you run out of material on B, break it off and be puppy eyed sad showing C that your sensitive. Three pussies in a month, with no one intracate lies.

 

[gofreak]

Girl C. You can't expect to sit back and do nothing and let love happen. She'd probably be worth it., and you might even enjoy "earning" her.

 

[Manabanana]

I was avoiding this thread for some time, but the forum slowed to nearly no activity so I had no choice. I'd go girl C, without a doubt. You don't wanna end up in some clingy relationship you'd feel bad about breaking off, but don't wanna stay in. C sounds like she can think for herself and doesn't really need a guy to feel content with herself. Sounds to me like the relationship you would form with C would be more of a friendship with the possibility of sex and seems like it would stay that way, for a while at least. That's what I would do.