Support NeoGAF

[norinrad]

I dated a girl once who was a squirter. Not a big deal, I've seen female ejaculation before.

But this girl was another level. She warned me before we slept together, and the first time she came to my house to have sex she brought a duffelbag. In the bag she had a rubber drop sheet and several towels. She set the drop sheet on my bed and placed the towels in strategic locations.

We started at it, and I put my fingers inside her. Within twenty seconds she started spraying everywhere. It was nuts. When we actually started coitus (can't believe I used that word) we were doing it doggy style. She kept squirting and squirting. When I came I pulled out to remove the condom and she then shot out SEVEN hard blasts in a row. It was ridiculous. I wasn't even touching her!

My room was soaked. It didn't really gross me out, she was fun. She was easily the most orgasmic person I've ever met. She could have orgasms from smelling fruit- that's not a lie.

We continued the fling for a couple of months, and after awhile I was kinda over the squirting. It was fine most of the time, but having to apply protective gear to the room every time you have sex got to be a bit much.

Seriously, I've never seen anything like this woman. I've watched 'squirting' videos of female ejaculators online, and they have nothing on what I've seen. I would bet money that she's the most prodigious female ejaculator in history.

So this is what you use the company bandwidth for?

 

[san00ake]

.

 

[Dion Blaster]

I was with a girl who I guess thought talking dirty was saying mean shit to you during sex 'does that feel good, you ugly piece of shit!?' like who does that crap?

I think I would die of laughter if someone told me that during sex.

 

[Chuckie]

I wrote something about

Spoiler

pegging

, but I'm literally too afraid of what the following responses might do to my psyche.
I wish I could delete this message...

Too late mate. Just tell the whole story!

 

[Gherid__lacksGPS]

Dated a lovely little thing for about three years. We both like it rough, almost rape "roleplay". She really liked being choked, which I was kinda uncomfortable with. I mean like realky choked, both hands around her throat whike slaming her head down. I'm a strong guy too so it kinda scared me. Sounds odd, but had we married I probably wouldn't have been uneasy about it.

Oh, and she didn't like being eaten out, which was both ironic and unfortunate. I LOOOVVEE giving my girl cunnilings. She even started crying once when I was seducing her into it. And not a good cry, the time to stop kind of cry. Fucking weird, I've never known a women to not enjoy receiving oral. She was a heavy squirter too, which I actually prefer.

All in all, I've never been turned off per say by sexual habbits, but mosre so by their attitude or emotional issues that are evidently brought in.

 

[san00ake]

All you guys and your heavy squirters...
I envy the crap out of all of you.

 

[Log4Girlz]

My last girl was a heavy squirter. Man that was the best.

 

[Herr K]

Ugh a girl earlier this year kept biting me, not just playful, it actually hurt, also my nipple at one point where I had to tell her to fucking stop. My nipples are very sensitive.

That happens when you fool around with babies who are still breastfeeding. You sick pervert.

 

[Chuckie]

Where do all these squirters come from? I thought it was so rare, the squirters in porn actually just piss... yet somehow half of Gaf used to date one.

 

[Log4Girlz]

Where do all these squirters come from? I thought it was so rare, the squirters in porn actually just piss... yet somehow half of Gaf used to date one.

Its more common than you think. A coworker admitted to squirting as well.

 

[Dee Dah Dave]

.

 

[neorej]

Never. There's very little I won't do.

 

[Square Triangle]

Where do all these squirters come from? I thought it was so rare, the squirters in porn actually just piss... yet somehow half of Gaf used to date one.

The same girl I'm talking about is one, and that my friend, is something I'll never complain about.

 

[Brerlappin]

This reminds me of that famous reddit post

Tears, fucking tears over here lol

 

[Skele7on]

Shes faking hard bro.

FINISH HER.

 

[JBourne]

Where do all these squirters come from? I thought it was so rare, the squirters in porn actually just piss... yet somehow half of Gaf used to date one.

I've only dated 7 girls in my life, and one of them was a squirter. I think it's pretty common.

Wasn't into it.

 

[Moppet13]

I think I would die of laughter if someone told me that during sex.

It's funny at first, but she meant it so genuinely it got old real fast.

 

[Lulubop]

The sleeping with other guys habit was a big turn off.

 

[Huevos de Oro]

Where do all these squirters come from? I thought it was so rare, the squirters in porn actually just piss... yet somehow half of Gaf used to date one.

Maybe all of them dated the same squirter.

 

[neorej]

Every girl is a squirter if you do it right.

 

[terrisus]

I did find a distraction tended to help keep me occupied, so I watched My Little Pony during (in a not weird way).

My wife tries to like, discuss plans with me while we are having sex. Stuff like, "okay, let's make sure we pay our tax bill next week".

I do this.

I think I and others might assume that talking about stuff like that during sex means you're not enjoying it.

This may be why >.>

Ugh, this is so embarrassing but...


.. I had a Boyfriend who was really into being a baby. Like he loved to dress up as a baby, with a diaper and a bib and shit. I thought that it was just a joke for one night but he was so serious about it. I didn't know how to react at all lol.

The only thing he didn't do was shit in the diaper but he did, uh..... Pee. I tried to keep an open mind but after a week, I just couldn't do it anymore. That was totally a kink I wasn't down for.

Suuuuuure >.>

been there my brother.. ahh, i love my girl to death, but sex once a month and her just laying there the whole time is really really hard for me. i would do anything for her but i just dont understand what to do

my gf also wont let me see her naked and we have been together nearly a year, that kind of upsets me too. not because i dont get to see her naked but that she doesnt feel comfortable with me to let me see and for her to know i think she's beautiful

Why couldn't I have found someone like that =(

 

[zruben]

Hmmm

For some reason I think i would dig that. As long as those people were sexually appealling. Not like "fuck me like i am Rosie odonnel"

the sexual appeal of the roleplay wasn't really the problem... and as I said, it was hot at first; she just got TOO MUCH into it at the point that it was creepy.

Why couldn't I have found someone like that =(

umm, why would you want someone like that?

 

[DrFurbs]

God my wife is so fucking boring when I read this thread.

Sob

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

You know what sucks? Having a louder girl but living in an apartment with angry upstairs neighbors. That sucks.

 

[pantsmith]

Dated a furry, however briefly. Never again.

 

[Sho_Nuff82]

the sexual appeal of the roleplay wasn't really the problem... and as I said, it was hot at first; she just got TOO MUCH into it at the point that it was creepy.




umm, why would you want someone like that?

He's asexual.

 

[TUSR]

this one red head i dated 2 years ago was giving me some road head after one of my hockey games

we pulled over and she wanted me to watch her bang my cars stick shift

 

[roxyd43]

You know what sucks? Having a louder girl but living in an apartment with angry upstairs neighbors. That sucks.

The neighbors are jerks. They got pissed because you were watching a movie on at Saturday night, at 10:30!!

 

[Deadly Cyclone]

The neighbors are jerks. They got pissed because you were watching a movie on at Saturday night, at 10:30!!

Oh, hey there... This thread just got more interesting.

 

[Solo]

Pretty sure I got partially Cleveland steamered by a one nighter after a night of heavy drinking. I mean, there was no log, thank god, but I woke up with a skidmark down my chest/stomach. Ugh. She also was a virgin or on the rag, which, I don't know, and neglected to tell me. It looked like a goddamn crime scene in the morning, blood everywhere. I've never gotten dressed and fled faster.

 

[jmood88]

Pretty sure I got partially Cleveland steamered by a one nighter after a night of heavy drinking. I mean, there was no log, thank god, but I woke up with a skidmark down my chest/stomach. Ugh. She also was a virgin or on the rag, which, I don't know, and neglected to tell me. It looked like a goddamn crime scene in the morning, blood everywhere. I've never gotten dressed and fled faster.

That sounds horrifying.

 

[Borgnine]

Squirt advice:

Any craft/fabric store will sell rubber sheeting, it's basically a thin piece of plastic with a cotton covering, so it's washable. Place one piece directly on top of the mattress or mattress pad, this is your last line of resistance. Then put your fitted sheet on. Then put down another rubber sheet and another fitted sheet. Go to town. Then simply remove the soaked top fitted sheet and topmost rubber sheet and go to sleep on your nice dry bed.

 

[zruben]

He's asexual.

oh, that makes sense.

 

[terrisus]

umm, why would you want someone like that?

---->

My wife is significantly more sexual/has a significantly higher sex drive than me.

I mean, my sex drive would be low enough as it is. But, constantly being hassled for sex, and it essentially being a chore, and it taking so long (seriously, when I see people talk about having sex in 5 minutes or something, that would be great. Since, it's often an hour+ long process), has just turned me off to it even more.

And the fact that we haven't been able to have children (which is the main thing I would want from the process) has made me not even want to bother at all.

He's asexual.

Hey now - I wouldn't say I'm necessarily "asexual..."
I just have a very, very low sex drive >.>

 

[Kid Ska]

Damn a lot of these girls sound fun

Lol @ the squirter though

 

[richardhawk]

Ex girlfriend wanted me to go down on her during her rag. I was completely grossed out by it and

Spoiler

ate the pussy like a goddamn man

. It wasn't anywhere as bad as I thought it was going to be but I definitely brushed my teeth like 4 or 5 times right after. I don't think anything would really put me off unless she wanted to poop on me. I'm pretty open to everything.

 

[terrisus]

Squirt advice:

Any craft/fabric store will sell rubber sheeting, it's basically a thin piece of plastic with a cotton covering, so it's washable. Place one piece directly on top of the mattress or mattress pad, this is your last line of resistance. Then put your fitted sheet on. Then put down another rubber sheet and another fitted sheet. Go to town. Then simply remove the soaked top fitted sheet and topmost rubber sheet and go to sleep on your nice dry bed.

Borgnine
MBA in pussy licensing and rights management

 

[JoJoShabadoo]

A girl I used to date would love to slap my dick on her tongue excessively when giving me a BJ. And by excessively I mean several times in one dick-sucking session, 20-30 seconds at a time. She looked fucking ridiculous each time.

 

[SnakeSlashRO]

 

[jonno394]

An older woman (37) I fucked a few times was really into being fisted and I'd oblige but it got to a point where she wanted me to really wreck her and go as deep as possible past my wrist and I just started to get really turned off and didn't like the thought.

I still see her every know and then to knock on old wood but I avoid the fisting.

 

[Clydefrog]

Damn, I can't compete with these stories. One girl I knew liked to have her ears licked, inside and out. I tried it on another girl and she yelled at me.

 

[DrFurbs]

Lol you stud!

 

[terrisus]

Because people don't have sex in less-developed areas?

 

[HighAmperage]

Its more common than you think. A coworker admitted to squirting as well.

Take that shit to HR!!!!

 

[Orbis Tabula]

I do this.

Wait. You talk to CrankyJay about errands when you're having sex? Or when he is having sex? Either way, it's a little odd.

 

[Huevos de Oro]

Wait. You talk to CrankyJay about errands when you're having sex? Or when he is having sex? Either way, it's a little odd.

We all talk to CrankyJay about errands during sex.

 

[terrisus]

Wait. You talk to CrankyJay about errands when you're having sex? Or when he is having sex? Either way, it's a little odd.

 

[Transhuman]

I got together with my second girlfriend on picture day at school. Afterwards she started holding hands with me which felt really uncomfortable. We broke up 2-3 days later and I havn't been in a relationship since. So to say my tolerance for sexual intimacy is low is an understatement. Sex is weird.

 

[HardRojo]

I live in Peru. Everyone in every country has sex. This could be a problem for everyone.

 

[Bold One]

I dated a girl once who was a squirter. Not a big deal, I've seen female ejaculation before.

But this girl was another level. She warned me before we slept together, and the first time she came to my house to have sex she brought a duffelbag. In the bag she had a rubber drop sheet and several towels. She set the drop sheet on my bed and placed the towels in strategic locations.

We started at it, and I put my fingers inside her. Within twenty seconds she started spraying everywhere. It was nuts. When we actually started coitus (can't believe I used that word) we were doing it doggy style. She kept squirting and squirting. When I came I pulled out to remove the condom and she then shot out SEVEN hard blasts in a row. It was ridiculous. I wasn't even touching her!

My room was soaked. It didn't really gross me out, she was fun. She was easily the most orgasmic person I've ever met. She could have orgasms from smelling fruit- that's not a lie.

We continued the fling for a couple of months, and after awhile I was kinda over the squirting. It was fine most of the time, but having to apply protective gear to the room every time you have sex got to be a bit much.

Seriously, I've never seen anything like this woman. I've watched 'squirting' videos of female ejaculators online, and they have nothing on what I've seen. I would bet money that she's the most prodigious female ejaculator in history.