I'm getting older. I look thirtyish, feel sixty-ish on good days and am, in reality, only 27. I am certainly too old to be drinking like a college freshman for four nights in a row, but I did it anyway... fuck it. Who cares, am I right? Your liver only lives once, and if it complains you smack it down and keep on downing them. Words to live by.
So I there I was, in the midst of a four day span of debauchery and depravity, that saw me stumbling around in a half awake haze in the middle of Hell's Karaoke Bar one night, beating the shit out of my friend with a broomstick the next, and then getting too drunk to drive for the first time in over five years the next. There were other things happening, too: dancing like a fever dream, married women grabbing my ass, a play that I attended, a movie date with my friend Skinny Bitch(aka the lovely Melissa), car batteries dying... then I passed out on my couch right before I was supposed to go see a friend play a set at a club downtown.
But I woke up a few hours later to the worst possible news I could imagine: my last living literary hero, Dr. Hunter S. Thompson, had shot himself in the head. Horrible, horrible. I nearly cried, and proceeded to get stupid drunk one last time. It was raining fiercely around midnight when I found out, and I stumbled out into the street with a bottle of scotch in one hand and a stick in the other, with bad intentions... I wanted to smash the shit out of the Republican down the street's car windshield. I would have done it, too, but a cop was shaking down some poor bastard on the street corner and giving me dark looks out of the corner of his eye. I stared him down for a minute, pointedly drank the last of the bottle of scotch in full view of him, and then retreated back to my apartment, leaving the empty bottle and the stick on my landing. The rain did it's best to wash me clean of the stupidity of the past four days, but today I still feel like someone has pressed a mute button on me somehow.