Flame Lord
Member
If it bothers you, maybe you should just leave. I probably would, honestly. I don't have a problem with it, but I definitely wouldn't want to hear about it, especially the DP shit.
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Dunedain_Ranger
Member
Welp lock it up we're done here
Best advice in this thread.
Personally, OP I would feel the same. I'm a slightly obsessive person where I can have repeated thoughts so I understand where you're coming from. I personally just wouldn't want that image in my mind. My wife and I both had other sexual partners in our past and I'm fine with that-but with your scenario that would be something I wouldn't be able to get out of my mind-and if you are considering a long term relationship with this girl you're weighing having that image in your mind forever
At the same time?
theepicoftyler
Member
If she has a clean bill of health, why should you care about her sexual history? She is choosing you now, and she is exhibiting honesty and openness. If only we were all so lucky to be involved with open and honest people.
I think anything beyond that is you projecting onto her.
I think anything beyond that is you projecting onto her.
ZeroMaverick
Member
Honestly, you're not a bad person for considering breaking up with her over this. It's very true that it's her life and her prerogative and she can do whatever she likes with whomever she likes, but you are not obliged to stay with someone if their history upsets you. If you have certain morals, you're allowed to look for someone that has similar morals. Say, for example, you were a Christian who wanted to marry a Christian. You have that right. You're not obliged to be "progressive" if the action in question upsets your moral foundation.
However, you can't shame her for her past. You can't call her a slut or treat her any different than you would any other person living on this planet.
However, you can't shame her for her past. You can't call her a slut or treat her any different than you would any other person living on this planet.
Always-honest
Banned
I know, haha. I've seen that movie. But it's kinda rough to illustrate the image he allready is having problems with
NeOak
Member
Ayyyyyyyyyyy
I mean, if she's hygienic and has a healthy diet, it probably shouldn't be an issue.
ThisGuy
Member
Lol, that's a funny way to explain the few really shitty posts in here.
You're fine op, you're not a bad person either. Nor are you misogynistic. You just need to find a women with the same sexual desires as you. And believe me op there are a lot of women out there who do not want to do threesomes/do not like threesome. And actually feel the exact way you do.
The only thing that would make you a bad person imo is if you stayed with her. But since you plan to leave her its all good.
WX3
Member
Keep at it my friend. I dropped hints and eventually we started discussing it. After twenty years together, I finally got my fantasy fulfilled last November!
depenitely.
op, first things first. thats your problem and not hers. but yes, you should probably break up with her if you cant handle something like this.
SSPssp
Member
This is great advice in general. There's no point in hiding your desires and just suffering through a relationship for the sake of it.
cyclonekruse
Member
It's up to you, of course, but it does sound like you two may be sexually incompatible. Talk it out. If she's into stuff that you're unwilling to do, it may be best to move on. Neither of you are in the wrong. Just as she's free to do whatever with her body/life so are you free to (not) do whatever with your body/life. It just happens you two might not be on the same wavelength in the bedroom. Nothing wrong with that.
Sometimes I feel like some posters here act progressive just show off how progressive they are. You have to be some kind of progressive bot if you can't understand why someone would be bothered by their significant other pushing a conversation about threesomes that result in hearing a detailed story about having DP a few times.
Like, even if it was seriously alright in your book, how can you not understand it can be something that bothers another?
Best advice one can give here.
Like, even if it was seriously alright in your book, how can you not understand it can be something that bothers another?
Best advice one can give here.
Eh people always say that but in a fairly new relationship you are still learning a lot about the other person, and whether your values and personalities line up. Learning new info about a person is expected to change your view of them, and in the op's case he associates this info with behaviour he finds gross. Don't think there is anything wrong with the three way stuff really, but if he does he is free to choose his partner under whatever conditions he wants, no judgment.
OneEightZero
aka ThreeOneFour
Oh, are we calling women who had an experience torn now?
The misogyny is real.
Misogyny (/mɪˈsɒdʒɪni/) is the hatred or dislike of women or girls.
Misogyny can be manifested in numerous ways, including sexual discrimination, belittling of women,
violence against women, and sexual objectification of women.
hydrophilic attack
Member
It's more fun withouth the "like your gf" part. It overexplains the joke
Stallion Dan
Member
Why did she think her current boyfriend wanted to hear details about all the penis she has had?
I'm serious, what sort of girl thinks a guy wants to hear that?
I'm serious, what sort of girl thinks a guy wants to hear that?
ThisGuy
Member
Not cool, if she doesn't have a history of cheating why assume she would? Because she likes to get down? Silly reasoning. She may leave op if she needs something more, nothing wrong with that.
DeaconKnowledge
Member
He can't shame his girlfriend for having the experience but you guys can shame him for being uncomfortable with it. Awesome.
The only reasonable response.
Fuck anyone for giving OPs gf a bad time for her sexual past, and fuck anyone trying to make OP feel bad for not being able to handle it.
electroshockwave
Member
Were the threesomes your wife had MMF or FFM? Do you want the former, the latter or both?
Omnii-chan
Member
She is isn't compatible to your sexual preference OP, best you break up with her so you two can find partner which suit each other.
I'd be very much the same in your situation.
...What the hell?
I'd be very much the same in your situation.
...What the hell?
God people are being assholes in this thread. Instead of trying to help the OP, or give him advice they try to shame him and tell him that if he's not perfectly fine with something like that hes a bigoted monster. Some people like sex more than others, and hearing of a partners previous sexual exploits can be uncomfortable, expecially if he or she is less sexual experienced than the other partner.
It doesn't make them a bigot, it makes them human.
If you as a partner don't like hearing details of your ex's sexual experinces, you need to vocalize that. Communication matters in a relationship, and that's the lesson you need to take out of this.
It doesn't make them a bigot, it makes them human.
If you as a partner don't like hearing details of your ex's sexual experinces, you need to vocalize that. Communication matters in a relationship, and that's the lesson you need to take out of this.
GAF is populated only with enlightened, experienced sexual libertines.
That's where I'm at. My partner having a sexual past is to be expected. Likes and dislikes is something that should be discussed and there are a number of ways you can pass along that information. However I certainly do not want to know the dirty details of said encounters. That's where problems start unless you're the type of person okay with imagining your significant other with another person. Not everyone is into that crap. Details like that are not required and you don't always have to share. That is why you feel a person out before you open up to them or drop certain information on them. Even if you have to come back to the topic at another time. Honestly there is nothing wrong with the OP feeling the way he does.
Strangelove77
Member
I just don't think a lot of people can get over another person fucking the person they really like or even love in front of them.
He's placing himself in that possible scenario in his head.
At least that's what I'm assuming because that would be the only thing here that could probably upset some people.
If he's just upset because something happened in the past that has nothing to do with him, then yeah. That's not cool. He really shouldn't care and there is some unneeded prudishness there. Hopefully he won't shame her since there's nothing to be ashamed of. That's not the stance to take. It's his problem, not hers. But I can't say his problem is "wrong" either. They're just different ideologies. Even if I personally disagree with him, I can empathize.
Dude just needs to be more clear though. With us and probably with his girlfriend. Maybe with himself.
Pai Pai Master
Banned
Buhhhh so?
Talk to her before you do anything rash. You don't even know if she has that expectation of you. It could just be something she's done in the past that she no longer desires. Obviously, don't let her make you feel like anything is expected of you.
But if she wants nothing like that now, and you're happy, don't throw that away over history.
My GF knows all the crazy shit I've done in the past, it has nothing to do with our relationship now other than her knowing I'm a weirdo pervert. I think if you can come to terms with it, it'll be healthy for you because every relationship you get into will have a sexual history that you'll have to come to terms with.
Talk to her before you do anything rash. You don't even know if she has that expectation of you. It could just be something she's done in the past that she no longer desires. Obviously, don't let her make you feel like anything is expected of you.
But if she wants nothing like that now, and you're happy, don't throw that away over history.
My GF knows all the crazy shit I've done in the past, it has nothing to do with our relationship now other than her knowing I'm a weirdo pervert. I think if you can come to terms with it, it'll be healthy for you because every relationship you get into will have a sexual history that you'll have to come to terms with.
peanutbutterlatte
Member
Waaaait wait wait wait
Now I'd be even shakier than OP if my gf told me what his did. But that's some shit.
Casual sex when single does NOT equal cheating. Nowhere close.
Pamplemousse
Member
Sexual double standards are really sad. I'm sure if the roles were reversed, she wouldn't have an issue with you having one with two women. If she was being safe about it and isn't otherwise promiscuous, it really shouldn't matter that she had one crazy night once. Women are human and enjoy sex.
NoblesseOblige
Banned
Depends on the people but I honestly like to hear everything about my partner's sexual history and couldn't care less if it included multiple partners at multiple point. Not sure why that icks some people.
What. How are you equating this to someone being unfaithful?
Unfaithful doesn't seem fair.
It does seem like something she wants to explore again, and that would then involve OP. So if that isn't one of your desires, OP, you might simply want to say so. "I wouldn't be interested in having a threesome". Or you can earn yourself some brownie points, grin and bear it, and ask her if that's something she wants to do. You could appreciate it as one of her sexual desires that you'll indulge for her gratification, like if you were to want a MFF threesome.
Or you can break up, that's an option.
Holden - don't even try to come off like you don't know what I'm saying. Men need to believe that they're Marco fucking Polo when it comes to sex - like they're the only ones who've ever explored new territory. And it's hard not to let them believe it. I let my boys run with it for awhile - feed them some of that "I've never done this before..." bullshit, and let 'em labor under the delusion that they rockin' my world, until I can't stand them anymore. Then I hit 'em with the truth. It's a sick game.
The world would be a better place if people would just accept that there's nothing new under the sun, and everything you can do with a person has probably been
done long before you got there.
The world would be a better place if people would just accept that there's nothing new under the sun, and everything you can do with a person has probably been
done long before you got there.
True Savior
Member
It's just sex OP. Everyone has desires. I'm not a girl, so It's obviously different but threesomes (ffm) are overrated. It's just another sexual interaction.
If you're not comfortable with her sexual history, then its obviously an issue. But that's an issue you are going to have with a lot of people. Not strictly threesomes, but people like to try stuff.
If you're not comfortable with her sexual history, then its obviously an issue. But that's an issue you are going to have with a lot of people. Not strictly threesomes, but people like to try stuff.
Hidden One
Member
A few means 6 times OP
I mean it's up to you of you want to break up with her over this, it does kinda make you a bad person though. Everyone you will ever end up with is going to have a sexual history as an adult (well a large majority). If this freaks you out, how did you feel when you kissed her, cause you realize she's probably given oral at some point and had a dick in her mouth? Does that freak you out? She's got some kinks, accept them man, this is mild anyway.
King Tubby
Member
If your relationship is otherwise really good it doesn't sound like something worth worrying about. I'm sure you've done things in the past that she'd find gross, too. Just let her know you're not into that.
ZeroMaverick
Member
This is fucking ridiculous.
bengraven
Member
Yeah, Fingercuffs was being all subtle.
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