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[Replicant]

Well what she probably saw was a dude rubbing at his junk and looking her in the eye and smiling.

Which I mean, could certainly look pretty creepy.

See man touching near his junk, he makes direct eye contact with you and smiles. Then says "hey."

I mean I don't think it is that crazy to misinterpret the sequence of events.

Creepy? It could be. However, one instance doesn't equal harassment. If it's repeated then she has all the reason to report him but to report him based on what could be one wrong interpretation is fucked up.

And yes, I've had guys acting creepy towards me but I don't immediately go reporting him unless it's a repeated action. Otherwise I'm making a fool of myself and could potentially make someone's life a nightmare.

 

[crazepharmacist]

Dude wtf no. It's ridiculous. I mean if there's a woman scratching her boob in front of you, you're not gonna report her for "touching herself in the workplace", would you?

I would to the woman who reported OP. Watch her like a hawk from now on.

 

[Randam]

My fault or not it doesn't matter.

What matters is that there was a grievance and it must be tended to.

In the military, inappropriateness and sexual harassment go hand in hand and my boss sought fit to counsel me on it. I am not disputing that I wasn't being inappropriate I was only saying that I never thought something as simple as checking my fly on the fly could get me in the position that I was in.

well, then good luck not checking your fly again.
I do this all the time too.


this is ridiculously.
did you even explain yourself?

I would have told her, what happend, and demanded, that she sets things straight.

 

[studyguy]

See man touching near his junk, he makes direct eye contact with you and smiles. Then says "hey."

I mean I don't think it is that crazy to misinterpret the sequence of events.

edit: Love all the comments talking about ways to get back at the woman. Because they assume she was malicious and not mistaken.

A misinterpretation of signals shouldn't automatically constitute full blown sexual harassment counseling however. The scenario is plausible, but at the same time it's absurd that they left the OP was left with no recourse.

That they followed through with the complaint by the book isn't shouldn't give anyone solace to the fact that an injustice was done to him. I get that sexual harassment in the workplace is a hot button topic, but the disparity between the accused and victim is almost comical here. I dunno, I'd be livid to have something so serious leveled against me, hell I'd be worried for what it meant down the line should another co-worker happen to misinterpret an otherwise ordinary action.

 

[gogogow]

Yes it isn't really fair, but you do know the military has a rather bad history of properly dealing with sexual harassment right? Seems like it would warrant being super careful.

Yeah, but since the OP got counseling, there must be a bunch of people now thinking he did touch himself in a sexual way and that female worker must have told her co-workers too.

I'm just surprised that they don't need to do any investigation into the matter and basically just said: well, someone said you touched yourself in a inappropirate way, you need counseling now!

This only means that someone can easily fuck you over again about something similar, because then you must have done it, because there was a past.

 

[statham]

when you said "hey" did you say it in a Joey Tribbiani kind of way?

 

[bigmf]

This seems completely unreasonable to me. You should be able to make sure all your buttons and zippers are done up without getting hauled onto the carpet.

I guess maybe you'll have to start carrying your car keys in your back pocket from now on as well. Can't be reaching into the front pocket in public.

 

[Nephtis]

well, then good luck not checking your fly again.
I do this all the time too.


this is ridiculously.
did you even explain yourself?

I would have told her, what happend, and demanded, that she sets things straight.

He did try to give his side of the story, but his boss was having none of it. Also, confronting her about it would be a bad move, especially if he had to demand anything. He shouldn't take something like this without fighting back somehow, but go through the proper channels for it, otherwise, he'd definitely no longer have a career.

 

[Kinyou]

The coach of the German football team also likes to touch himself in front of millions of people

 

[FunkyMunkey]

I would to the woman who reported OP. Watch her like a hawk from now on.

Yep. If she even so much as itches her own breast or adjusts her blouse buttons or anything, report her. The notion is not gender exclusive by any means.

Apparently she doesn't understand how pants work, how zippers work, or that men need to zip down their fly and pull their penis out to pee. Absurd.

 

[ishibear]

I think they're being harsh because the position of "Aw well, she probably is going through something, you'll just have to deal with it" is putting all the onus on the OP.

He is the one who needs to be extra cautious about completely benign things like checking his zipper, and he is the one that has to deal with the repercussions of an unjust reprimand.

Of course we don't know her mind, but it's I guess hard to think of what she could have potentially thought he was doing that was sexual - and a little bit of consideration on her part would have saved the op from a potentially career-hurting situation.

It's never good when someone is sexually harassed, but it doesn't give them carte blanche to bring trouble on other people around them either. If, by some catch of the light, it looked like the OP was diddling himself and staring at her direction - so be it, it's still entirely unjust and the OP should be able to challenge it - but whatever. However, if it's as the OP described, then it wouldn't be entirely unreasonable to expect someone to consider their actions before going to the authorities over something trivial and severely causing someone else distress.

The very first comment I made was that it was messed up this happened to him, and just said it's probably best to give her space (offering him most if not all of my sympathy), I only suggested her possible trauma because they assume she's just trying to be a cruel bitch ~ right off the bat.

OP isn't ranting and raving about her, he's very respectful actually. Why are some people trying to call for her head like this?

Her having problems isn't putting the blame on OP at all. It actually provides a boost for him because it means he possibly did nothing wrong and isn't some creep, she's just traumatized. I'm not saying this is a fact, but it's a sound possibility since it was such an innocent move being mistaken for something else.

People who suffer from PTSD aren't having flashbacks and getting people in trouble just for the hell of it. They actually suffer more within their own minds.

 

[.GqueB.]

So many calls for vengeance in this thread. How'd it go down such a dark path? I mean, what happened was unfortunate and a misunderstanding but trying to exact vengeance would come off as completely unprofessional and petty. Not to mention it could make matters worse and he gains NOTHING.

Stop giving such shitty advice GAF. I hope you people aren't actually like this. I do some character work on here as well sometimes but some of you sound legitimately insane.

The OP is the most level-headed person here and this shit actually happened to him.

 

[ICKE]

Yep. If she even so much as itches her own breast or adjusts her pants or dress near her waist or anything, report her. The notion is not gender exclusive by any means.

Apparently she doesn't understand how pants work, how zippers work, or that men need to zip down their fly and pull their penis out to pee. Absurd.

Terrible idea to have any dealings with this female, regardless of the circumstances. What you are suggesting would only make the person look like he is out for revenge and nothing good can come out of that.

I'd avoid her like plague for as long as possible.

 

[BigDes]

I would to the woman who reported OP. Watch her like a hawk from now on.

Yes this a mature way to handle to situation that will in no way probably backfire and end up with OP in even more trouble or potentially shitcanned.

What world are people living in when they thick the sane response to someone who has already filed a complaint against for perceived creepy behaviour is to essentially fucking spy on them?

This is not a situation where you get back at this person, this is a situation where you keep your head down and never ever talk to or even acknowledge that person ever again.

 

[jerry1594]

She sounds like a real fun person to be around.

I mean, who hasn't checked their fly coming out of the washroom?

I haven't. Seems trivial.

 

[+Aliken+]

Report her for sexual harassment.
After all she smiled and her smile was definitely implying that she liked what she saw and wanted more.

 

[Wazzy]

I think rushing to call her a bitch is stupid(not you Grime but the people in the thread) but It's also not fair she jumped to conclusions and reported that. She should have clarified what you were doing but since things were already awkward you'd think she just wanted to leave it at that.

Either way, next time you should seek her out and just tell her what you were actually doing. I don't think it will fix anything but better than her thinking you were touching yourself.

 

[stufte]

I'm pretty paranoid about my fly being down and have perfected the art of "adjusting the front of my shirt" whilst I slip my pinky over my zipper. It only works for t-shirts, but so far so good.

 

[Ixion]

The very first comment I made was that it was messed up this happened to him, and just said it's probably best to give her space (offering him most if not all of my sympathy), I only suggested her possible trauma because they assume she's just trying to be a cruel bitch ~ right off the bat.

OP isn't ranting and raving about her, he's very respectful actually. Why are some people trying to call for her head like this?

Her having problems isn't putting the blame on OP at all. It actually provides a boost for him because it means he possibly did nothing wrong and isn't some creep, she's just traumatized. I'm not saying this is a fact, but it's a sound possibility since it was such an innocent move being mistaken for something else.

People who suffer from PTSD aren't having flashbacks and getting people in trouble just for the hell of it. They actually suffer more within their own minds.

Assuming she's a victim is just as bad as assuming she's a bitch. Both can negatively affect people, as seen in this situation.

 

[studyguy]

The very first comment I made was that it was messed up this happened to him, and just said it's probably best to give her space (offering him most if not all of my sympathy), I only suggested her possible trauma because they assume she's just trying to be a cruel bitch ~ right off the bat.

OP isn't ranting and raving about her, he's very respectful actually. Why are some people trying to call for her head like this?

Her having problems isn't putting the blame on OP at all. It actually provides a boost for him because it means he possibly did nothing wrong and isn't some creep, she's just traumatized. I'm not saying this is a fact, but it's a sound possibility since it was such an innocent move being mistaken for something else.

People who suffer from PTSD aren't having flashbacks and getting people in trouble just for the hell of it. They actually suffer more within their own minds.

Making assumptions about the woman isn't any better unfortunately. The OP already mentioned that he doesn't even know most of the civilian contractors, to say that past trauma gives her a pass in any sense to level accusations against someone is unfair. The workplace should exist as a neutral environment and make accommodations for everyone. The rights of the OP are just as important as anyone else in this regard.

I'm more angry at whatever structure exists above the OP, in a non-military setting this should have gone much differently.

 

[plasmasd]

OP, to retaliate, be sure and wear only sweatpants to the office in the future. No zipper no problem.

 

[werks]

First and foremost, I have a great working rapport with both males and females in my workplace. I'm in the military however the building itself (simulator training) is run by civilians. Not DoD contractors but regular salary civilians. It's also very common for outside agencies to come work on the sims here for any length of time.

So basically around lunch time I finish using the bathroom, exit, and my hand goes down to check my fly to make sure I'm not walking around the hallways zipped open. It was up. Just wanted to make sure. It's a habit. I'm just not really conscious of when and where I'm doing it. I look up and one of the females that's only a temp worker (her company has been working on our sims about two weeks now. I don't know her personally but when I'm in the breakroom hanging out with others she is there too).

So I look up and see her and she's got this awkward smile on her face and realizing what I was doing, I give an embarrassing smile back and say, "Hey." I thought it was humorous at the time.

Fast forward to the end of the day and the civilian supervisor comes into my office (I work with just my boss. It's just me and him) and explains that someone was offended by my inappropriateness by touching myself in a public area of the building. No names. No specifics. However I knew who it was. While my boss is a good and fair guy, he's also by the book. Both the supervisor and my boss counseled me informally on sexual harassment in the workplace despite me telling my side of the story because by the book, they literally had to.

Two informal counselings usually equals a former counseling that goes into your record permanently. Doesn't matter if you're innocent or guilty, having anything on your record dealing with sexual harassment can fuck you up military career wise. My boss told me he knows it'll never happen again but if it does he'll have to take steps and I am no longer allowed to hang out in the break room while she's there since I have to stay clear of her from now on.

This is a shitty ending to a relatively quiet day. It's my fault and I should be cognizant of what I'm doing around others. I just can't believe that it escalated to the point where I had to get a serious counseling from it. I wish I could explain to her what I was doing or what she thought I was doing when I smiled back at her embarrassingly. Guess I'll never know.

Anyone else ever experienced something like this in their workplace?

Are you army? if so what rank? I'm going to assume you are not an NCO.

You supervisor did the right think by informally counseling you. At least you are aware of the complaint and can make sure you aren't being perceived as harassing anyone. Stay away from her since she is a temp and don't worry about it.

Also formal counselings dont make it into your "permanent record". Your permanent record is OMPF (Official Military Personal File). By regulation, you can't file a counseling in the OMPF. The counseling can be used against you to justify UCMJ action, formal investigation or to give you a General Officer Memorandum of Reprimand if you keep getting sexual harassment complaints. Those things can end up in your permanent record but you will be well aware of it

Formal counseling goes into a packet your supervisor keeps on you, it is a local file which is used to document negative and positive information on you. It can lead to things that ruin your career but even a negative formal counseling by itself doesn't have long term consequences if it is a one time thing.

 

[bigmf]

Stay as far away from her as possible. If you see her in the hallway, turn around and go the other way. You've only got one strike left, and you don't need to take any risks.

 

[ishibear]

Assuming she's a victim is just as bad as assuming she's a bitch. Both can negatively affect people, as seen here.

But that's just it. We don't know if she's either. So why not just take things like OP has? Calmly and rational.

The whole reason I mentioned her possible PTSD is to counter the bitch claims. That's ridiculous, we don't know what's going on with this woman so it's best to not rush to conclusions.

 

[Lactose_Intolerant]

The coach of the German football team also likes to touch himself in front of millions of people

His nose isn't in a sexual organ region

 

[terribletwo]

Yes this a mature way to handle to situation that will in no way probably backfire and end up with OP in even more trouble or potentially shitcanned.

What world are people living in when they thick the sane response to someone who has already filed a complaint against for perceived creepy behaviour is to essentially fucking spy on them?

This is not a situation where you get back at this person, this is a situation where you keep your head down and never ever talk to or even acknowledge that person ever again.

bullshit. OP needs to walk into the breakroom with his cock hanging out

 

[Replicant]

Either way, next time you should seek her out and just tell her what you were actually doing. I don't think it will fix anything but better than her thinking you were touching yourself.

Wow. DO NOT DO THIS.

When someone feels that you've harassed them, the last thing you want to do is to approach them in any form. Doing so will only convince them that you are really harassing them and trying to escalate the situation. Give them space and let them approach you when they finally come to realize that they've made a mistake. That way they have no way to accuse you that you are trying to escalate the problem.

For now OP, avoid, avoid, avoid. Don't talk to her unless she initiates conversation.

 

[Ol No Bones]

Oh baby. Zip your zipper harder.

 

[BigDes]

bullshit. OP needs to walk into the breakroom with his cock hanging out

Nah, he needs to strip naked and be standing cupping himself on her desk when she arrives in the morning. Be all like, "Your move, bitch"

 

[Not]

You don't blame her? lmao.

That's a total bitch move (pun intended) and in no way justifiable. I would demand that your boss gets her into the room and she has to tell the story again, while you can defend yourself.

Empathy, people; why is this so hard to do with anyone that doesn't have a penis?

EDIT:

Nah, he needs to strip naked and be standing cupping himself on her desk when she arrives in the morning. Be all like, "Your move, bitch"

what the several fucks

 

[.GqueB.]

Empathy, people; why is this so hard to do with anyone that doesn't have a penis?

Or with anyone really. The lack of empathy we show towards other people these days is saddening. I catch myself doing this but I'm aware of it and try not to. Many just don't.

 

[FunkyMunkey]

Terrible idea to have any dealings with this female, regardless of the circumstances. What you are suggesting would only make the person look like he is out for revenge and nothing good can come out of that.

I'd avoid her like plague for as long as possible.

Yeah of course it would be very petty. I guess I'd just avoid her.

And I don't mean spy on her, what. Just that if she does anything close and OP is feeling vindictive. I mean shit if adjusting your fly right outside the restroom warrants that kind of response, what about her fixing the buttons on her blouse or straightening/flattening her skirt? God forbid she does something that inappropriate in the break room or anywhere outside the bathroom.

OP, to retaliate, be sure and wear only sweatpants to the office in the future. No zipper no problem.

Make sure to shake extra well to avoid pee spots.

The coach of the German football team also likes to touch himself in front of millions of people

What a disgusting sexual deviant. How does this man still have a job?

Nah, he needs to strip naked and be standing cupping himself on her desk when she arrives in the morning. Be all like, "Your move, bitch"

Hmmmm wut

 

[Wazzy]

Wow. DO NOT DO THIS.

When someone feels that you harassed them, the last thing you want to do is to approach them in any form. Doing so will only convince them that you are really harassing them and trying to escalate the situation. Give them space and let them approach you when they finally come to realize that they've made a mistake. That way they have no way to accuse you that you are trying to escalate the problem.

While I agree it's not usually a good idea because then they'll think they were ratted on for telling, this is a serious thing that happened over a minor misunderstanding.

Unless there's a way to organize a meeting between the two of them to confront the issue but that won't happen.

I don't know. I think something like this is such a silly misunderstanding that it should be talked over but maybe that's not the best way to go about things.

 

[oupi]

Love the gifs on this thread. And f the one who reported you.

 

[studyguy]

Sorry again OP, maybe it's time you invest in some Office Sweat Pants.

 

[Zukuu]

Empathy, people; why is this so hard to do with anyone that doesn't have a penis?

You wrote 'penis'. Gonna report you for sexual harassment. Empathy my ass. Did she show any? No.

 

[TrueGrime]

I think her conversion between herself and the building supervisor might have went something like this.

"Hey building supervisor, I just wanted to let you know that so and so was in the hallway with his hands around his crotch area. It might be nothing but with other women walking around it might not be appropriate to do so."

"Okay, I know him personally and I don't think anything was done purposely, but I'll make sure he knows."

The chat with me, not word for word of course.

"Grime, there was a complaint from a employee about you maybe inappropriately touching yourself that was brought to my attention."

"Ah, I think I know who it was. I just got out of the head and was checking my fly. Probably a little longer than I needed to. She kind of course me off guard."

My boss then says something along the lines of.

"You gotta' be careful about that Grime. It may have been harmless but other people might see it as being very inappropriate and that could lead to some sexual harassment issues down the road. We'll keep it informal and between us. I know it was an accident and know you'll be careful next time because you know two informal counselings can lead to a formal counseling. Just steer clear of her. Stay out of the civilian breakroom as well."

While it might have been over the top to go to a supervisor (in my opinion), there is some burden on me to watch what I am doing around others. That is a reasonable request.

 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

This only means that someone can easily fuck you over again about something similar, because then you must have done it, because there was a past.

It's no joke in the military, even 20 years ago. If you get falsely accused you avoid all situations, on and off duty with the person. If the other person happens to show up somewhere (PX,shopping,gym,etc) while you're there, you leave.

 

[Valnen]

Empathy, people; why is this so hard to do with anyone that doesn't have a penis?

Why aren't you being empathetic for the person who got in trouble for literally no reason? Honestly this sounds like a terrible awkward situation for both people, and it didn't even have to be that way.

 

[Replicant]

While I agree it's not usually a good idea because then they'll think they were ratted on for telling, this is a serious thing that happened over a minor misunderstanding.

Unless there's a way to organize a meeting between the two of them to confront the issue but that won't happen.

I don't know. I think something like this is such a silly misunderstanding that it should be talked over but maybe that's not the best way to go about things.

If OP feels like he really needs to explain the situation, he needs an official mediator like his boss or manager and for him/her to arrange a supervised talk between him and her with the boss/manager in the room. But do not approach her on his own because that'll just convince her even more that OP is trying to harass her. You don't know what her thought processes is atm so it's always better to take the high road and avoid someone like this.

 

[Not]

You wrote 'penis'. Gonna report you for sexual harassment. Empathy my ass. Did she show any? No.

For example, I'm trying very hard to be empathetic with you, but the narcissism and obliviousness I suddenly feel is a little suffocating.

 

[driver116]

She never seen someone checking their zipper. Sounded like she was out to get you into trouble anyway with her weird smirk reaction. Don't give her the satisfaction, if you see her turn the other way. These women have fathers, fathers who do the exact same thing.

 

[someday]

Well, if anything, OP learned never to put his hand near his crotch while maintaining direct eye contact and/or verbally communicating with a female co-worker again

Yeah, when it's put like this, it's not that inconceivable that she was uncomfortable. I'm not saying that he didn't get screwed in this case but he's being a lot more level-headed than many in this thread.

No matter what she's been through, it's pretty ridiculous to see a guy doing a fly-check just outside of the bathroom and take it as a sexual anything. Common sense applies here just as it'd apply if a woman was adjusting her breasts in her bra after changing in the bathroom and a guy happened by.

Common sense also says maybe check your fly before you leave the bathroom. How many women do you actually see adjusting our breasts for all to see? Most of us at least attempt to be discrete about that shit.

I know someone who was fired for staring at co-workers breasts. Granted he was doing it for months and had more than a dozen reports filed over him but staring or looking can certainly be considered sexual harrasment.

Of course it can. The fact that he did this for months and had "more than a dozen" reports is awful. He should have been gone a lot sooner.

 

[studyguy]

While it might have been over the top to go to a supervisor (in my opinion), there is some burden on me to watch what I am doing around others. That is a reasonable request.

You're a good guy OP, just watch yourself. I would still worry that something as routine as checking your fly could get you into hot water, that's wholly unreasonable, but keep at it I suppose.

 

[BigDes]

Empathy, people; why is this so hard to do with anyone that doesn't have a penis?

EDIT:


what the several fucks

Well I mean, if the vengeance crowd in here are serious about it, OP may as well go all out with his revenge. No use in half measures.

 

[SkeptiMism]

So many calls for vengeance in this thread. How'd it go down such a dark path? I mean, what happened was unfortunate and a misunderstanding but trying to exact vengeance would come off as completely unprofessional and petty. Not to mention it could make matters worse and he gains NOTHING.

Stop giving such shitty advice GAF. I hope you people aren't actually like this. I do some character work on here as well sometimes but some of you sound legitimately insane.

The OP is the most level-headed person here and this shit actually happened to him.

Completely agreed.

OP seems very smart and mature about it.

You don't blame her? lmao.

That's a total bitch move (pun intended) and in no way justifiable. I would demand that your boss gets her into the room and she has to tell the story again, while you can defend yourself.

Seriously? She sees a man seemingly rubbing his junk (it might have well seemed that way) and then smile and say "hey", which the woman might have understood in a quite implicit way. I can easily see how that could be quite off putting.

It's not possibly fair to report him on that, but I'd say it's quite understandable as a first reaction, especially if the person has some history with bad experiences.

Report her for sexual harassment.
After all she smiled and her smile was definitely implying that she liked what she saw and wanted more.

Wtf? You're not really serious are you (I really hope not)? If it's a joke, can you see how it's an extremely bad joke (that attitude is actually a real attitude some people have).

 

[Wazzy]

I think her conversion between herself and the building supervisor might have went something like this.

"Hey building supervisor, I just wanted to let you know that so and so was in the hallway with his hands around his crotch area. It might be nothing but with other women walking around it might not be appropriate to do so."

"Okay, I know him personally and I don't think anything was done purposely, but I'll make sure he knows."

The chat with me, not word for word of course.

"Grime, there was a complaint from a employee about you maybe inappropriately touching yourself that was brought to my attention."

"Ah, I think I know who it was. I just got out of the head and was checking my fly. Probably a little longer than I needed to. She kind of course me off guard."

My boss then says something along the lines of.

"You gotta' be careful about that Grime. It may have been harmless but other people might see it as being very inappropriate and that could look to some sexual harassment issues down the road. We'll keep in informal and between us. I know it was an accident and know you'll be careful next time because you know two informal counselings can lead to a format counseling. Just steer clear of her. Stay out of the civilian breakroom as well."

While it might have been over the top to go to a supervisor (in my opinion), there is some burden on me to watch what I am doing around others. That is a reasonable request.

You're being really good about this. Good for you.

I don't think you did anything wrong but I'm glad you're being reasonable about this. I might think the girl overreacted in reporting you BUT it was a misunderstanding and that's all it should be.

 

[Not]

Why aren't you being empathetic for the person who got in trouble for literally no reason?

You haven't even heard her side.

EDIT QUOTE:

Honestly this sounds like a terrible awkward situation for both people, and it didn't even have to be that way.

Yes.

 

[Skyzard]

I think her conversion between herself and the building supervisor might have went something like this.

"Hey building supervisor, I just wanted to let you know that so and so was in the hallway with his hands around his crotch area. It might be nothing but with other women walking around it might not be appropriate to do so."

"Okay, I know him personally and I don't think anything was done purposely, but I'll make sure he knows."

The chat with me, not word for word of course.

"Grime, there was a complaint from a employee about you maybe inappropriately touching yourself that was brought to my attention."

"Ah, I think I know who it was. I just got out of the head and was checking my fly. Probably a little longer than I needed to. She kind of course me off guard."

My boss then says something along the lines of.

"You gotta' be careful about that Grime. It may have been harmless but other people might see it as being very inappropriate and that could lead to some sexual harassment issues down the road. We'll keep it informal and between us. I know it was an accident and know you'll be careful next time because you know two informal counselings can lead to a formal counseling. Just steer clear of her. Stay out of the civilian breakroom as well."

While it might have been over the top to go to a supervisor (in my opinion), there is some burden on me to watch what I am doing around others. That is a reasonable request.

Less petty than I. Good on you!

 

[.GqueB.]

If OP feels like he really needs to explain the situation, he needs an official mediator like his boss or manager and for him/her to arrange a supervised talk between him and her with the boss/manager in the room. But do not approach her on his own because that'll just convince her even more that OP is trying to harass her. You don't know what her thought processes is atm so it's always better to take the high road and avoid someone like this.

He doesn't. Which is why all of the scenarios and batshit insane advice happening in this thread is so bizarre. People are getting angry on someones' behalf when he's shown many times in this very thread that he is not.