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[stufte]

You haven't even heard her side.

Like you'd give the OP the benefit of the doubt if it was the accuser that had started the thread.

 

[Alebrije]

Sorry OP , you paid the price of a subjective situation.

 

[BigDes]

Also lets be clear, no one is lacking empathy for Grime, dude seems to have handled himself well in the circumstances and has kept a remarkably cool head about the whole situation.

Seems like a terrible awkward misunderstanding on both sides.

 

[CornBurrito]

Agree with you, but I think it would be fair in her case to not report anything unless a second incident occurred. It's not like he slapped her on the ass or anything. People need to use a little common sense and judgment.

Perhaps she didn't want to wait for a second incident, thinking that it might escalate if she didn't address the perceived problem right away?

We don't really know what she was thinking. Though that doesn't stop people from assuming she's a malicious "bitch."

Creepy? It could be. However, one instance doesn't equal harassment. If it's repeated then she has all the reason to report him but to report him based on what could be one wrong interpretation is fucked up.

And yes, I've had guys acting creepy towards me but I don't immediately go reporting him unless it's a repeated action. Otherwise I'm making a fool of myself and could potentially make someone's life a nightmare.

To be frank, you're a male. You aren't a woman in the military. Women in the military have to be worried about being sexually assaulted/harassed and then the case being swept under the rug by their superiors. It has happened in the past. Really frequently.

I wouldn't blame someone for nipping the behavior in the bud asap, instead of waiting for a repeated and possibly worse incident to occur. Especially a woman in the military.

 

[weemadarthur]

Like you'd give the OP the benefit of the doubt if it was the accuser that had started the thread.

'Not' has said nothing that wasn't completely levelheaded. This is coming real close to a personal attack.

 

[SupaNaab]

My best friend in high school drew a penis on his workplace schedule. A coworker of his reported the drawing (they thought it was targeted at them) and my friend had to undergo a similar counseling process but for drawing dicks at work.

 

[Foghorn Leghorn]

Common sense also says maybe check your fly before you leave the bathroom. How many women do you actually see adjusting our breasts for all to see? Most of us at least attempt to be discrete about that shit.

He was checking his fly. Not rearranging his junk.

 

[.GqueB.]

My best friend in high school drew a penis on his workplace schedule. A coworker of his reported the drawing (they thought it was targeted at them) and my friend had to undergo a similar counseling process but for drawing dicks at work.

Lol, why is your friend drawing dicks?

 

[BennyBlanco]

That's really shitty. Would've probably been better off just walking around with your fly open.

 

[CornBurrito]

He was checking his fly. Not rearranging his junk.

And humans aren't perfect and sometimes mistake what they see.

 

[Not]

I think her conversion between herself and the building supervisor might have went something like this.

"Hey building supervisor, I just wanted to let you know that so and so was in the hallway with his hands around his crotch area. It might be nothing but with other women walking around it might not be appropriate to do so."

"Okay, I know him personally and I don't think anything was done purposely, but I'll make sure he knows."

The chat with me, not word for word of course.

"Grime, there was a complaint from a employee about you maybe inappropriately touching yourself that was brought to my attention."

"Ah, I think I know who it was. I just got out of the head and was checking my fly. Probably a little longer than I needed to. She kind of course me off guard."

My boss then says something along the lines of.

"You gotta' be careful about that Grime. It may have been harmless but other people might see it as being very inappropriate and that could lead to some sexual harassment issues down the road. We'll keep it informal and between us. I know it was an accident and know you'll be careful next time because you know two informal counselings can lead to a formal counseling. Just steer clear of her. Stay out of the civilian breakroom as well."

While it might have been over the top to go to a supervisor (in my opinion), there is some burden on me to watch what I am doing around others. That is a reasonable request.

OP is solid.

 

[studyguy]

My best friend in high school drew a penis on his workplace schedule. A coworker of his reported the drawing (they thought it was targeted at them) and my friend had to undergo a similar counseling process but for drawing dicks at work.

I don't think the two really compare lol, drawing a dick at work tends to be pretty far removed from adjusting a fly. Anyway who draws dicks at work when bored? It's all about meaningless scribbles till your calendar/notepad is a fucking mess.

 

[BigDes]

Lol, why is your friend drawing dicks?

If he is a high school student then he is probably drawing dick at least 85% of the time he is awake. It's what teenage boys seem to do. Especially to my nice clean desks when a school inspector is about to walk in, The little shits.

 

[theWB27]

If he walked out and was adjusting himself before he saw her, which is how it was explained, and then looked up and THEN noticed HER already looking at HIM already....there's pretty much nothing subjective about the situation. There really isn't a way she could have taken it any other way than him walking out of the restroom, making sure he was ok, looking up to notice her at an awkward moment.

The sequence of events doesn't support any complaint being to be filed...no matter her past.

 

[.GqueB.]

Common sense also says maybe check your fly before you leave the bathroom. How many women do you actually see adjusting our breasts for all to see? Most of us at least attempt to be discrete about that shit.

To be fair, it's less about common sense and more about being careful. I'm always checking my fly because sometimes I'm just not sure. Dudes forget all the time.

And it's extra personal for me because I had my fly down once on a train in front of a woman. She sat in front of me for like 20 minutes and didn't say anything. It must've been horrifying. This was back when I was wearing buttonless briefs.

 

[TrueGrime]

Yeah. Thanks guys. I think I handled it with class. Didn't make the thread to so much as rant but wanted to see if this was commonplace elsewhere in the workforce. Especially in the civilian workplace. I have never worked as a civilian (I don't count working for my uncle as a carpenter actual civilian work). I can only assume thing this happens frequently. Misunderstandings and reports to supervisors that shouldn't even be so.

When my boss was counseling me I was pretty fucking mad. Like, that shaking pain in the middle of your stomach mad that something like that could go so far, but yeah, I can see how someone might think that might be inappropriate. Regardless.

Also, my typing is horrific today.

 

[Not]

Like you'd give the OP the benefit of the doubt if it was the accuser that had started the thread.

Statistics show sexual harassment doesn't equally go both ways, but OK, good point.

 

[Zukuu]

Seriously? She sees a man seemingly rubbing his junk (it might have well seemed that way) and then smile and say "hey", which the woman might have understood in a quite implicit way. I can easily see how that could be quite off putting.

She sees a man coming OUT OF THE TOILET,
NOT LOOKING AT HER,
and CHECKING HIS ZIP.
Only then he looks up and their eyes meet. Yeah, seriously. It's on her to misinterpret that. She clearly abuses the "I'm a woman" card.

 

[Archer]

That's ridiculous and in no way your fault imo.

/thread

Now go have a beer. Cheers.

 

[Yoshichan]

I'm now afraid. I -always- "fix" my junk (not going inside the pants of course), check my zipper and even smell my arm pits from time to time.

 

[MegaMelon]

My best friend in high school drew a penis on his workplace schedule. A coworker of his reported the drawing (they thought it was targeted at them) and my friend had to undergo a similar counseling process but for drawing dicks at work.

Maybe he should stop

Spoiler

dicking around

.

 

[Amentallica]

Idiots in the work place. Sorry, OP.

 

[Wazzy]

To be fair, it's less about common sense and more about being careful. I'm always checking my fly because sometimes I'm just not sure. Dudes forget all the time.

And it's extra personal for me because I had my fly down once on a train in front of a woman. She sat in front of me for like 20 minutes and didn't say anything. It must've been horrifying. This was back when I was wearing buttonless briefs.

I'm a girl and I still check to make sure my fly is undone whenever I wear work pants. It's just a common fear a lot of people have because they don't want to be judged. Sucks it ended up as a misunderstanding for the OP.

 

[Replicant]

He doesn't. Which is why all of the scenarios and batshit insane advice happening in this thread is so bizarre. People are getting angry on someones' behalf when he's shown many times in this very thread that he is not.

They are getting angry because they may have experienced similar accusation or know someone who has experienced being accused unfairly. While telling OP to get revenge is out of the line, I don't think it's out of the ordinary for the posters here to be concerned that something like this may happen to them. It's not fun getting blamed for something you didn't do and no one likes it to happen to them.

 

[E92 M3]

I think the "Hey" is what did it lol

 

[AtomskEater]

Sorry that happened to you, OP. You seem like a very level-headed person, so hopefully this basically blows over from here on out.

She never seen someone checking their zipper.

I actually don't see too many people running their fingers along their crotch in public. If I have to check my fly, I do it in a bathroom or turn toward a wall or something. The couple of times a downed fly was pointed out to, I also turned so that my front was covered before I quickly fixed the problem. Sorta assumed it was the same for most people, but it seems a few people in this thread do what OP did.

Hopefully I'd be able to determine whether someone is checking their fly or poking their dick, but hey you never know. None of us were really there to witness it, so something about the gesture may have been odd and raised a flag in her head or something.

 

[BigDes]

She sees a man coming OUT OF THE TOILET,
NOT LOOKING AT HER,
and CHECKING HIS ZIP.
Only then he looks up and their eyes meet. Yeah, seriously. It's on her to misinterpret that. She clearly abuses the "I'm a woman" card.

Don't forget the part where he smiles and then seemingly tries to initiate conversation with her.

I think that is the part that is open to misinterpretation.

This guy just came out of the toilet rubbing his crotch and then he tried to talk at me, also he had this really creepy smile on his face when he did it

As for the "I'm a woman card" is that like the race card?

 

[Kinyou]

Lol, why is your friend drawing dicks?

Don't like something? Draw a dick on it. Are you bored? Time to draw a dick. Want to check if that pen still works? Draw two dicks. It's a way of life, man.

 

[Zukuu]

And humans aren't perfect and sometimes mistake what they see.

And that's even more of a reason to not immediately jump to conclusions and trying to ruin the career of guy she doesn't even know.

Don't like something? Draw a dick on it. Are you bored? Time to draw a dick. Want to check if that pen still works? Draw two dicks. It's a way of life, man.

That made me laugh out loud for some reason.

 

[.GqueB.]

They are getting angry because they may have experienced similar accusation or know someone who has experienced being accused unfairly. While telling OP to get revenge is out of the line, I don't think it's out of the ordinary for the posters here to be concerned that something like this may happen to them. It's not fun getting blamed for something you didn't do and no one likes it to happen to them.

Yea I can see that. Just felt like a bit much really. Especially for an OP that wasn't asking for advice just an ear.

Don't like something? Draw a dick on it. Are you bored? Time to draw a dick. Want to check if that pen still works? Draw two dicks. It's a way of life, man.

I usually draw Homer Simpson faces or Vegeta (his hairline is easier to draw).

 

[ProtoCents]

This is why I work from home. I can touch myself all I want.

 

[Not]

I'm now afraid. I -always- "fix" my junk (not going inside the pants of course), check my zipper and even smell my arm pits from time to time.

You don't have to be afraid, and mistakes do happen. Just try to be more conscientious of gestures you're making around others--especially around the nether regions--and it shouldn't be a problem.

 

[bigmf]

Don't forget the part where he smiles and then seemingly tries to initiate conversation with her.

I think that is the part that is open to misinterpretation.

This guy just came out of the toilet rubbing his crotch and then he tried to talk at me, also he had this really creepy smile on his face when he did it

As for the "I'm a woman card" is that like the race card?

No one rubs their crotch when checking their zipper. Ever.

 

[studyguy]

Yeah. Thanks guys. I think I handled it with class. Didn't make the thread to so much as rant but wanted to see if this was commonplace elsewhere in the workforce. Especially in the civilian workplace. I have never worked as a civilian (I don't count working for my uncle as a carpenter actual civilian work). I can only assume thing this happens frequently. Misunderstandings and reports to supervisors that shouldn't even be so.

When my boss was counseling me I was pretty fucking mad. Like, that shaking pain in the middle of your stomach mad that something like that could go so far, but yeah, I can see how someone might think that might be inappropriate. Regardless.

Also, my typing is horrific today.

Pretty sure I'd be spitting blood at HR if that same situation happened to me in a corporate setting. Sucks man.

 

[BigDes]

Don't like something? Draw a dick on it. Are you bored? Time to draw a dick. Want to check if that pen still works? Draw two dicks. It's a way of life, man.

Goddammit

It's people like you who ruin my classroom

 

[charsace]

You probably have to start looking for other employment because you are on the trouble maker list now. If you can find out who reported you do so and stay away from them. Only talk to this person for work related reasons.

 

[Wazzy]

They are getting angry because they may have experienced similar accusation or know someone who has experienced being accused unfairly. While telling OP to get revenge is out of the line, I don't think it's out of the ordinary for the posters here to be concerned that something like this may happen to them. It's not fun getting blamed for something you didn't do and no one likes it to happen to them.

Yeah I'm giving the benifit of the doubt to OP because honestly misunderstandings in the workplace being brought to management can be really infuriating, especially if they're unwilling to listen to both sides.

Still, the reaction in this thread has been over the top and pretty vicious. I don't think she should have rushed to report since the situation described was OP wasn't even looking at her but at the same time harassment in the military is common and thankfully Grime has handled it really well.

 

[linkboy]

The DOD is putting all of their focus on sexaul assault and harassment, so I fully understand why this was treated the way it is.

I'm in the Air Force and we get training out the ass on sexual assault, like a whole day focused on how to prevent assaults and harassments from happening.

Even something as small as what the OP did will be taken seriously.

 

[stufte]

Statistics show sexual harassment doesn't equally go both ways, but OK, good point.

No, I'm talking about if someone started a thread about "a creepy guy just rubbed his junk and smiled at me", I'm fairly confident that you (and others) wouldn't be holding out for "his side of the story".

 

[bobawesome]

Honestly if I were in your position I would hit that stupid bitch and put her in her place.

What a bitch.

As well as a self important bitch, she legit thought you were making an advance on her???

WOW, your boss doesnt even ask your side of the story? Bullshit.  Your boss is an idiot for not asking for specifics.

 

[BigDes]

No one rubs their crotch when checking their zipper. Ever.

In this case though it seems a lot less about what OP did over what OP was thought to have done.

I think its clutching at hairs to think that this woman saw this and immediately thought was to make up a malicious complaint as some people here seem to be implying. She felt she saw something inappropriate and reported it. That OP is actually innocent is what is sad.

 

[toxicgonzo]

A guy in highschool got sent home one time because his fly was down and he had no underwear.

At least you weren't that guy OP

 

[Kinyou]

Goddammit

It's people like you who ruin my classroom

Even the old Romans drew dicks on the walls. There has to be a dick draw gene or something like that.

 

[theWB27]

Don't forget the part where he smiles and then seemingly tries to initiate conversation with her.

I think that is the part that is open to misinterpretation.

This guy just came out of the toilet rubbing his crotch and then he tried to talk at me, also he had this really creepy smile on his face when he did it

As for the "I'm a woman card" is that like the race card?

But it's not open for misinterpretation. He had no pryor knowledge of her being there. She knew he hadn't seen her while he was checking.

So why would the "hey" be retroactive to an action that wasn't, in any way, directed towards her?

 

[TheBryanJZX90]

Oh man I am totally going to get in trouble for the same thing. I don't know why but I always get these phantom fears that my fly is down, even though it never is. Doesn't matter if I checked in the bathroom, every once in a while it's like "oh crap! Can everyone see my dong?"

 

[CountAntonius]

Rough. I do that all the time because I have on occasion forget to zip it up. scary that it can be misconstrued as sexual harassment.

 

[terribletwo]

its pretty great when you're half way through Romeo & Juliet in a textbook and someone just drew a huge ass dick in Leo's mouth

 

[TrueGrime]

Can someone tell me how it works on the civilian side though!

When it gets reported to HR does HR tell you who it was, what the offense was? And after HR comes to you and tell you that you were reported then what happens??

The DOD is putting all of their focus on sexaul assault and harassment, so I fully understand why this was treated the way it is.

I'm in the Air Force and we get training out the ass on sexual assault, like a whole day focused on how to prevent assaults and harassments from happening.

Even something as small as what the OP did will be taken seriously.

Yeah dude. They aren't fucking around one bit on this. It is mandatory for our commanders to have a written policy here and it has to be in each and every building where a Marine works in, in plain sight.

 

[partyphone]

Just a quick brush, guys. It's all you need. It's not that hard. There's nothing to misinterpret if you're doing it right.

 

[MutFox]

Grimes, that really sucks, you're good peeps.
The part that really sucks is not being able to hang in the civilian break room...

Does anyone else besides management know about this at your work?