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I need advice on how to handle my little sister's situation
- Thread starter Mariolee
- Start date
I wouldn't advise getting the school involved unless it's absolutely necessary.
If that religious school works anything like mine word gets out about what happened she will be branded a "slut" by all the good God fearing almost-saint girls that have the decency to keep the fact that they have sex with older College dudes a secret.
Not to mention how teachers themselves treat you...
Aw hell no, gtfoh with that noise. Throwing that term around like that leads to people having their lives ruined when you're not getting the full picture. And I for one know that when I don't like somebody I have them come in my house and fuck me for a second time... :l
OP's sister is confused and feeling guilt because she wanted to have sex but also wants to respect her family values and upbringing. And of course she doesn't want to get pregnant and kicked out of school. She isn't innocent tho.
Westbahnhof
Banned
Yeah, sorry, it was more about the general vibe in here, not certain why I jumped on your comment.
I did add the thing about authorities though. Confronting directly may feel right, but I'm not sure it is.
stump sock
Member
she is FOURTEEN. it's rape dude.
also get out of here with this, dipshit
hydrophilic attack
Member
That depends on the country.
In my country it's 15, and no one bats an eye at a girl that age having sex with someone around the same age. Even 15-year-old girls are sexual beings. The most important thing is that it's consensual and safe.
One thing to keep in mind, if he doesn't want to be a father (which I doubt he wanted to anyway) you should really protect your sister. I wouldn't be surprised if he tried to inflict bodily harm to her causing her to lose the child.[/QUOTE]
I'm definitely going to be on the lookout.
Legally, he is.
Definitely going to look into these options. However, she's very adamant about not getting an abortion. If she's pregnant, she will have the baby.
Seriously.
Go fuck yourself dude.
The most important thing is to make sue that she gets the medical help she needs here and to make sure he is separated from your sister once school's over. Regardless if it was consensual or not, he's a pushy predatory scumbag who shouldn't come near her again.
W/ the pregnancy tests, something important to consider is that an abnormality like ectopic Pregnancy will not show up on a pregnancy test. She really should see a doctor if you can get her in to one.
W/ the pregnancy tests, something important to consider is that an abnormality like ectopic Pregnancy will not show up on a pregnancy test. She really should see a doctor if you can get her in to one.
It's all good. I feel for the OP coming from the perspective of an older sibling. But you have a point too. It's just a shitty situation seeing your blood go through stuff like that.
Prophet Steve
Member
Unless someone might be feeling pressured by for example having some guy suddenly show up on their doorstep when they are are home alone.
I don't know if this will ease your mind (or your sisters) at all, but sometimes when women are sexually active, they might skip a period, even if they're on birth control.
Freaked me the fuck out when it happened to my girlfriend and I, but she took two pregnancy tests (it works best about a week after a skipped period) and they both came up negative. Then a month later her period started back up again.
As for advice, I'm sure that plenty of people are going to chime in, but it might be necessary for the police to get involved/press charges. Always keep that in the back of your mind.
And if your sister is pregnant, well... I wish her the best of luck.
Freaked me the fuck out when it happened to my girlfriend and I, but she took two pregnancy tests (it works best about a week after a skipped period) and they both came up negative. Then a month later her period started back up again.
As for advice, I'm sure that plenty of people are going to chime in, but it might be necessary for the police to get involved/press charges. Always keep that in the back of your mind.
And if your sister is pregnant, well... I wish her the best of luck.
Westbahnhof
Banned
Because statutory or otherwise, in my eyes, are still two very different things warranting different reacrions.
It's also important to get all the facts straight when involving cops.
Don't think you want to tell them anything that you interpreted wrongly, complicating things for the victim.
esmith08734
Member
OP, I don't think your sister is pregnant. I think it's her anxiety. It's very likely she wouldn't be exhibiting symptoms like that so soon.
I wish her and you the best.
I wish her and you the best.
If they've had sex at least a couple times now already this guy is going to keep coming back for more once the pregnancy scare has passed. It sounds like he's already pressured her for sex and found it works, so without a clear danger he'll want to continue.
If she doesn't want to be with him, she'll have to put her foot down. Threatening to get the police involved seems like a good angle, but I'd be prepared to back her up if he calls it a bluff and ends up pressuring her for more still.
The context she's in with the conservative family etc. will likely serve to make her feel powerless since she's already in so deep. Be prepared to jump in if she isn't able to say no.
If she doesn't want to be with him, she'll have to put her foot down. Threatening to get the police involved seems like a good angle, but I'd be prepared to back her up if he calls it a bluff and ends up pressuring her for more still.
The context she's in with the conservative family etc. will likely serve to make her feel powerless since she's already in so deep. Be prepared to jump in if she isn't able to say no.
For telling you to confront him? Sorry if it came off as assholish.
We need to stop pretending as if fourteen year olds are somehow incapable of logic and making good or bad decisions. She made a bad decision and so did he, it's completely normal. I knew plenty of 8th/9th graders that were fucking seniors when I was in High School. It happens.
Westbahnhof
Banned
If it should come to that, and knocking on wood that it won't, I hope you won't allow anyone to make her feel guilty about this.
Raising, adoption, a surprising choice for termination, whatever, this feels like a situation where some people will be shit, and you can be a supportive pillar against that scum.
I mean, I'm sure you will.
Just wanted to get that out there.
I'm confronting him. Not planning on getting into any physical altercations though.
For sure, and I brought this up to her as I understand what growing up under that restraining environment is like. I think she trusts me at this point in that regard. She did tell me that when they had sex in April, she was confused but she straight up said she didn't like him.
I actually let her know all of this when I talked to her earlier. This isn't the first time I've talked with someone about feeling vulnerable and afraid in a relationship. It's just the first time it's been with someone as close as my sister.
Thanks man.
I think dude was a virgin before sex with my sister and wanted to lose his virginity before going to college which is why he kept pushing with my sister, who may have been the most viable girl during his senior year at the time. It makes me that much angrier.
15 and 18.
Exactly. I think for the most part (since I went to the High School too) it's a bit more understanding than other Christian schools, but to keep up their image they do have a private talk with you and try to keep all this unpure stuff a secret anyways. Like, they hate to do it because they genuinely love you as a person but they still do shit like this.
ITT: People who never went to a school where freshmen dated seniors.
Agree with all this.
Agree with all this.
WhateverItTakes
Banned
It was rape in that situation and rape in this situation. Minors having sex with older people is a fuzzy line which can have serious consequences. Careful edit: you can always have that argument that some such relationships are fine and it's 'only' statutory rape but the laws are there to protect people if they're being taken advantage of. So it's only labelling it what it is.
This is all really good advice. Most important thing is that you can be there for your sister in a way it doesn't sound your parents can be, which is what she's gonna need in such a hard and confusing time. Show her love and support, and hopefully in that she'll more able to stand up for herself in the future.
Geno Breaker
Banned
Tell him to fuck off with his borderline rape. Pressuring some younger chick is creepy as hell. Be there for your sis too.
TetraGenesis
Member
Now this is some good advice. Listen to this poster, OP.
Patrick S.
Banned
What does SHE want you to do? What did she say SHE is going to do?
Count Dookkake
Member
If she's 15 and he's 18 then it's still illegal.
skullmuffins
Banned
lots of states have close-in-age exemptions to the age of consent, so depending on the exact ages of the participants and where they live, it could be legal if it was consensual.that doesn't change the age on consent
Life isn't a Hollywood movie where your actions have no consequences. Y'all need to get out of here with this dangerous and useless advice.
You need to get your ass kicked almost as hard as the guy from the story.
Grizzlyjin
Supersonic, idiotic, disconnecting, not respecting, who would really ever wanna go and top that
Not necessarily. To quote Transformers: Age of Extinction...
No but seriously, it depends on where they're at. High school seniors date freshmen all the time. Seniors are 18 or turning 18 and the freshmen are 14-15.
hydrophilic attack
Member
Regarding the age of consent laws, did OP say he lived in the USA?
Mass_Pincup
Banned
His parents being Republican implies the US.
Christian School, anti-abortion, probably gonna keep the baby if she ends up pregnant.
Sounds like they're in America to me.
Also everyone is saying seniors date freshmen all the time and it's no big deal but where I went to high school only the saddest creepiest loser seniors ever dated freshmen and yeah they were considered borderline sex offenders. So idk what the fuck is going on in yalls high schools.
Alligatorjandro
Banned
You need to take her to a doctor
hydrophilic attack
Member
<shrug> It was fairly normal here. Everyone from grades 9-12 dated each other.
Same. Seniors at my highschool either dated juniors that were 17+, other seniors, or someone in college. If you dated outside of that you were considered a creep.
Metalingus5150
Member
Uhh. You should get the cops involved. All I'm saying.
I guess the whole "you know what to do" is you're her big brother, you burn this dude. I don't mean literally, I mean you go talk to your parents and instead of focusing on punishing her into paste which is super easy for conservative families to do and often the path of least resistance you help bulldog this thing into your family coming together to protect your sister and make sure this senior student faces consequences. Either they all go over to his house old school and say hey your son got our daughter pregnant, what are you going to do about it? Or figure it out. If she was forced, then you need to talk to the school principal, maybe the police need to get involved as well. But you do something.
back in the day before my time, a senior freshman relationship would probably not include sex. because everyone would be watching them like a hawk mostly, lol.
In this age of teens having babies, the seniors dating freshman where everyone knows what's up, that's pretty obvious and pretty frowned on. Like desperation and 'of course a freshman girl will say yes'.
back in the day before my time, a senior freshman relationship would probably not include sex. because everyone would be watching them like a hawk mostly, lol.
In this age of teens having babies, the seniors dating freshman where everyone knows what's up, that's pretty obvious and pretty frowned on. Like desperation and 'of course a freshman girl will say yes'.
Honestly, you need to be there for her, listen to her, and support her. She's 15, she's still figuring stuff out. If her primary experience with sex leads to all the male figures in her family life flying off the handle and getting violent, or trying to take over her romantic life, it's just going to fuck up her ability to have relationships in future.
This guy is pressuring and harassing her, she's lost control over ability to control her relationship here. Don't then take more control out of her hands by making decisions for her.
This guy is pressuring and harassing her, she's lost control over ability to control her relationship here. Don't then take more control out of her hands by making decisions for her.
highrider
Banned
If you really lived that level of conviction you'd already be locked up.
good god gaf, chill
OP just be there for your sister whatever happens. the next step is the second pregnancy test. wait for that and take it from there. just support your sister no matter what. she's priority number 1, 2, and 3. don't get the cops involved unless some more details come to light or this guy does some shit again. don't beat him up, don't take a baseball bat to his head, don't use a blowtorch on him, etc. just focus on your sister and that's that. have your face to face with the guy if you must but be cool, calm, and collected about it. don't do anything to make the situation worse for yourself or your sister.
OP just be there for your sister whatever happens. the next step is the second pregnancy test. wait for that and take it from there. just support your sister no matter what. she's priority number 1, 2, and 3. don't get the cops involved unless some more details come to light or this guy does some shit again. don't beat him up, don't take a baseball bat to his head, don't use a blowtorch on him, etc. just focus on your sister and that's that. have your face to face with the guy if you must but be cool, calm, and collected about it. don't do anything to make the situation worse for yourself or your sister.
Well that sucks. I figured only people here in the south did that.
Unfortunately, I don't think your sister's situation is all that uncommon. A lot of young girls don't know how to say "no" or don't feel like they're able to, because they don't understand that they're allowed to prioritize their feelings. Please follow backslashbunny's advice. Tell her that having sex isn't wrong, but that she never has to, if she's not feeling comfortable.