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I think I'm too good at things..

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OP reminds me of the Perfect Dark guards that walk up, point their guns a you, do a roll to the left and exclaim "I'm just too good".

You haven't accomplished anything, silly guard.
 
erpg said:
OP reminds me of the Perfect Dark guards that walk up, point their guns a you, do a roll to the left and exclaim "I'm just too good".

You haven't accomplished anything, silly guard.
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Hahaha, this made me laugh. I played that game a ton, and I don't remember that. Sounds amazing.
 
I personally find the failure of not even trying more distasteful than trying, failing and trying again. It's the line between living heroically and living cowardly. You can never, ever be too good at something... True mastery its always finding tiny details to improve, to never stop learning, to relish challenges.

Call it whatever you want, 'too good', 'gifted', 'naturally skilled', they're all expressions of not trying... the worst kind of failure. It's rightly called out and ridiculed.

On a constructive note, consider the parabel of the master flutist by Stephen Nachmanovitch:

A new flute was invented in China. A Japanese master musician discovered the subtle beauties of its tone and brought it back home, where he gave concerts all around the country. One evening he played with a community of musicians and music lovers who lived in a certain town. At the end of the concert, his name was called. He took out the new flute and played one piece. When he was finished, there was silence in the room for a long moment. Then the voice of the oldest man was heard from the back of the room: “Like a god!”

The next day, as this master was packing to leave, the musicians approached him and asked how long it would take a skilled player to learn the new flute. “Years,” he said. They asked if he would take a pupil, and agreed. After he left, they decided among themselves to send a young man, a brilliantly talented flautist, sensitive to beauty, diligent and trustworthy. They gave him money for his living expenses and for the master’s tuition, and sent him on his way to the capital, where the master lived.

The student arrived and was accepted by his teacher, who assigned him a single, simple tune. At first he received systematic instruction, but he easily mastered all the technical problems. Now he arrived for his daily lesson, sat down, and played his tune – and all the master could say was, “Something lacking.” The student exerted himself in every possible way; he practiced for endless hours; yet day after day, week after week, all the master said was, ” Something lacking.” He begged the master to change the tune, but the master said no. The daily playing, the daily “something lacking” continued for months on end. The student’s hope of success and fear of failure became ever magnified, and swung from agitation to despondency.

Finally the frustration became too much for him. One night he packed his bag and slinked out. He continued to live in the capital city for some time longer, until his money ran dry. He began drinking. Finally, impoverished, he drifted back to his own part of the country. Ashamed to show his face to former colleagues, he found a hut far out in the countryside. He still possessed his flutes, still played but found no new inspiration in music. Passing farmers heard him play and sent their children to him for beginner’s lessons. He lived this way for years.

One morning there was a knock at his door. It was the oldest past-master from his town, along with the youngest student. They told him that tonight they were going to have a concert, and they had all decided it would not take place without him. With some effort they overcame his feelings of fear and shame, and almost in a trance he picked up a flute and went with them. The concert began. As he waited behind the stage, no one intruded on his inner silence. Finally, at the end of the concert, his name was called. He stepped out onto the stage in his rags. He looked down at his hands, and realized that he had chosen the new flute.

Now he realized that he had nothing to gain and nothing to lose. He sat down and played the same tune he had played so many times for his teacher in the past. When he finished, there was silence for a long moment. Then the voice of the oldest man was heard, speaking softly from the back of the room: “Like a god!”
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Ray Wonder said:
Almost everything that I do has come extremely easy to me. From when I was a child, to an adult.

...

Any time there is an obstacle that requires hard work to overcome, I give up.
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I'm going to let you in on a secret. This is nothing special and is not a sign of intellect.

What makes someone intelligent? They can process things fast, and they can process complicated things. For this to work, you have to have a comprehensive, complete and efficient model of whatever you are processing. To achieve a comprehensive and efficient model in your brain, first you need to have knowledge. This is gained via learning. That is simply hard work. In addition to knowledge, your "brain model" needs to be efficient. Solving paradoxes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance) in your brain function is incredibly taxing. Your view of the world and knowledge in it needs to be clear and paradox-free for it to work well and fast. Otherwise your brain has to work extra to compensate for these paradoxes, making your performance worse than your peers.

The need for a "brain model" is seen in cases where people can seem brilliant when talking about their expertise, but completely inept in day-to-day life. They have completely dedicated their lives in pursuit of knowledge in specific areas, so they have (relative) difficulties in functioning outside that area of knowledge. Because they neglected learning in that area.

I believe genetics are nowhere nearly as important as people make it when it comes to intellect. The reason why you did well as a child and well into adulthood is most likely because you were raised in a good environment by people who gave you all the tools to succeed. You managed to build a good model that required very little effort to process. The only difference between you and those who did worse was the point when they gave up, the point when they stopped learning.

I like to think that genetics provide the "maximum ceiling" for what you can do with your brain, but very few people utilise the potential to the fullest. It's the same with physical abilities. Sure, genetics might decide the maximum potential you can have, but in grand scale, outside debilitating disabilities, genetics are irrelevant to how much you can bench or how long you can run. As with physical abilities, your mental abilities are mainly determined by the effort you put in building them.
 
Fancy Clown said:
His mom tells him he's the best at those things
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My mom is my biggest critic. She's one of the only people that says I should think realistically about music, and how hard it is to make a living with it. I tend to tune her out on that regard, because my dream job is to be a producer/engineer.


It's everyone else that tells me I'm good.
 
Ray Wonder said:
My mom is my biggest critic. She's one of the only people that says I should think realistically about music, and how hard it is to make a living with it. I tend to tune her out on that regard, because my dream job is to be a producer/engineer.


It's everyone else that tells me I'm good.
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I think they are just being nice mate. It's like those singing auditions on American Idol when they are pretty bad and they cry and say "But my family said i was the best singer they have ever heard!" - they could just be being nice when all is said and done...
 
Phat Michael said:
I think they are just being nice mate. It's like those singing auditions on American Idol when they are pretty bad and they cry and say "But my family said i was the best singer they have ever heard!" - they could just be being nice when all is said and done...
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If there's one thing that I know that I'm good at, It's music.
 
Ray Wonder said:
If there's one thing that I know that I'm good at, It's music.
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How do you know this? Because you played your friends a song and they all said "yeah it's nice?" - it's pretty hard to know you are good at something unless you have the scores/feedback/awards/achievements to back it up.
 
Phat Michael said:
How do you know this? Because you played your friends a song and they all said "yeah it's nice?" - it's pretty hard to know you are good at something unless you have the scores/feedback/awards/achievements to back it up.
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Because I sell my music to professional artists. I get paid quarterly for songs on the radio that I've produced. I have multiple videos on youtube that are 50k+ and almost exclusively likes. I was #1 on soundclick for months, while making almost 8k a month off of music alone during that time.

Annubis said:
Soundcloud?
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpMpnyTrrHc

https://soundcloud.com/ray_wonder

Annubis said:
EDIT: or Youtube, since you lack devotion, it's easier to Youtube.
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I lack motivation. Also, I thought youtube you had to make a video out of your music before you upload it, while on soundcloud you just upload an mp3. Is there an easier way that makes youtube easier and require less devotion than what I'm doing?
 
What the OP is talking about is actually a documented phenomenon. I read a study a while back that showed a direct correlation between children being praised for being good at something versus working hard at something and how well they tackled more difficult challenges. Children who were told they were good and smart gave up on the more challenging tasks and continued doing what was easy for them, whereas children who were praised for their hard work attacked the harder tasks and were able to surpass them.

That's basically the story of my childhood, and it took a long time (and that study!) to recognize my own failings and focus on challenging myself instead of doing what I already know how to do well. So now that you know this about yourself as well, OP, it's time to start improving yourself!
 
GQman2121 said:
If those are the first things that pop into your head, then congratulations, you're a master at activities that no one gives a shit about. Join the rest of us in the real world.
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rofl

OP, what if I told you that everyone is like you but happen to focus on important things they really like to get more than good?

I mean, juggling? cmon now, I'm sure there is something else you can list lol
 
Greenpaint said:
I'm going to let you in on a secret. This is nothing special and is not a sign of intellect.

What makes someone intelligent? They can process things fast, and they can process complicated things. For this to work, you have to have a comprehensive, complete and efficient model of whatever you are processing. To achieve a comprehensive and efficient model in your brain, first you need to have knowledge. This is gained via learning. That is simply hard work. In addition to knowledge, your "brain model" needs to be efficient. Solving paradoxes (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cognitive_dissonance) in your brain function is incredibly taxing. Your view of the world and knowledge in it needs to be clear and paradox-free for it to work well and fast. Otherwise your brain has to work extra to compensate for these paradoxes, making your performance worse than your peers.

The need for a "brain model" is seen in cases where people can seem brilliant when talking about their expertise, but completely inept in day-to-day life. They have completely dedicated their lives in pursuit of knowledge in specific areas, so they have (relative) difficulties in functioning outside that area of knowledge. Because they neglected learning in that area.

I believe genetics are nowhere nearly as important as people make it when it comes to intellect. The reason why you did well as a child and well into adulthood is most likely because you were raised in a good environment by people who gave you all the tools to succeed. You managed to build a good model that required very little effort to process. The only difference between you and those who did worse was the point when they gave up, the point when they stopped learning.

I like to think that genetics provide the "maximum ceiling" for what you can do with your brain, but very few people utilise the potential to the fullest. It's the same with physical abilities. Sure, genetics might decide the maximum potential you can have, but in grand scale, outside debilitating disabilities, genetics are irrelevant to how much you can bench or how long you can run. As with physical abilities, your mental abilities are mainly determined by the effort you put in building them.
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This is really interesting. Thank you.
 
Übermatik;167171601 said:
I still want to see your drawings...
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I haven't drawn in years, I started a clothing line that I design for though. Legacy Avenue. If you want to check it out. Page 3 (or 2 if you have 100 post pages) has a couple pics.
 
I don't understand how running your own clothing company fits into this. Went to your Instagram and I see your company is running and sponsoring a basketball league...

Those seem like the actions of an entrepreneur not a lazy person.
 
riotous said:
I don't understand how running your own clothing company fits into this. Went to your Instagram and I see your company is running and sponsoring a basketball league...

Those seem like the actions of an entrepreneur not a lazy person.
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I'm not the only person that's in charge of it. I'm the co creator. The league is awesome. I didn't have anything to do with it though. Although, I wish I did.

The actual graphic design for the clothes is mine.
 
Was about to ask if OP's name was Gary Oak, until I read this part.

Ray Wonder said:
Any time there is an obstacle that requires hard work to overcome, I give up.
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Lol, jk.

Although OP, maybe you just need something to re-ignite your passion!

You know... something that gives you the flame underneath your chair!
 
BrassDragon said:
I personally find the failure of not even trying more distasteful than trying, failing and trying again. It's the line between living heroically and living cowardly. You can never, ever be too good at something... True mastery its always finding tiny details to improve, to never stop learning, to relish challenges.

Call it whatever you want, 'too good', 'gifted', 'naturally skilled', they're all expressions of not trying... the worst kind of failure. It's rightly called out and ridiculed.

On a constructive note, consider the parabel of the master flutist by Stephen Nachmanovitch:
Click to expand...

It's something along the lines of what Louis Armstrong said about practice: "If I don't practice for a day, I know it. If I don't practice for two days, the critics know it. And if I don't practice for three days, the public knows it."

And this is one of the greatest musicians of the 20th century. A true master of his craft. And even he knew he needed to put the work in. There's never a point where he said "you know what? I've figured this trumpet thing out. I'm good." I feel like being good at something is 1% talent and 99% work.
 
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I think a lot of millenials feel the same way, especially the computer savvy. I do. It's why a lot of people are going to be harsh on you. I bet they relate and were hit with reality already.
 
We're doomed. What fun it is to be the better than the rest at most things without trying, and at the same time the worst because we can't try.

Advice? There's a message system. Continue to try and find work you love. If you find it, keep busy like you desire to.
 
Krejlooc said:
You sound like the average gifted student, actually. What you describe is what many gifted and talented students go through.

If you learn to bunker down and hone one single skill, you can become incredibly successful, even late in life.
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Yep, pretty much. A lot of people are being dicks... it was clear that you struggled to find the right wording for the feeling you were going through.
 
lastflowers said:
Yep, pretty much. A lot of people are being dicks... it was clear that you struggled to find the right wording for the feeling you were going through.
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And this is something that's been pointed out a lot more in the last say, 5 years or so. I've seen a ton of articles about how to praise children so that they value what they've done and the work involved over simply some inherent "smartness" or talent, because praising that leads to exactly this scenario.
 
I've not read the whole thread, but OP I feel you. I spent most of my life not trying and succeeding at everything.
It kinda sucks when you get to adulthood, and some things actually require effort and time to do well at. It can get very frustrating when you're used to jumping into something and doing great.
Fortunately for me I joined academia, where everyone is smarter than me.
 
You might have ADD so do to the doctor and get that checked out.
Second, pick something and work on it for 4~5 years.
Become a master at something.

Maybe You just need to understand the rewards of hard work through experience.
Pick up a second language or maybe Excel, programming language etc and stick with it for 4-5 years. You need to get the experience of mastering something (or just a really high level of attainment). This experience might humble you or it might realized the benefit of hard work.

Good luck.
 
OP, I want to say I kind of understand you. For me, I have a problem with time management because I have lots of interests to keep up.
I know I'm not as good at one thing as a professional, but I know I can do many things better than most people, and being good at many things actually sap my time from improving things I'm terrible at, like sports and studies.
Sometimes I wish I do not have so many interests, but all of them are so fun for me.

In the past, I've actually thought I'm good at many things but learned I'm not that good once I met a professional doing it. So now I just think I have lots of interests but never focused my energy on just one.
 
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