IndieStatik Founder apologizes for "inappropriate" comments to female game dev

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So she's unprofessional for trying to be polite and diffuse the situation? It's pretty fucking obvious that she was uncomfortable in those messages, but apparently that dude and some people are robots and have no knowledge of social cues.

Also, the onus is on the guy to not act like a fucking creep, not on the woman to 'speak up'. Jesus.
 
SmokyDave said:
The utter lack of reciprocation was her 'shutting them down'. Is that really not crystal clear?

I don't want to cast aspersions but it seems like some sort of lessons on basic human interaction would be beneficial to many people within this community.
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It's not crystal clear. There are people who will continue to project their inability to follow social cues as a failure on behalf of the other person.
 
Oh man. When did the games industry get so filled with social justice assholes?

What Mattingly did was wrong, but the woman should have just told him to stop. Jaffe's twitter is getting spammed by people who think he is a disgusting pig for just trying bring up a point.
 
SmokyDave said:
The utter lack of reciprocation was her 'shutting them down'. Is that really not crystal clear?

I don't want to cast aspersions but it seems like some sort of lessons on basic human interaction would be beneficial to many people within this community.
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She's not responding to my numerous sexual advances = she's totes into it. Right?
 
FrontierWhiskey said:
I *think* what Jaffe's trying to say - read his whole timeline - is that the harassment is disgusting, but the immediate response of Twitter and forums is to go full on torches and pitchforks, and a more measured response is better. He's tried to bring up some possible reasons why this *might* not have been as awful as it probably is.

That said, he's doing it on Twitter and you know how he is....can be combative. So maybe a call to chill out and get all the facts isn't coming across very well.
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I can see that, but he's lost me on the way. Whatever point he was trying to make as of now just doesn't fit the actual scenario and he's really looking bad by saying she was being unprofessional. He needs to slow it down, because he's basically jumping to the take same blows at the guy in the OP and I don't know why.
 
"I'm not defending this guy's sexual harassment, but it's not really sexual harassment and the victim should have really done more and been a professional and stopped him."
-Professional adult
 
I don't even understand how the subject gets broached honestly. It's not like anyone's asking Jaffe "what do you think she could have done to prevent this?". His natural reflex is to simply point the finger anywhere else than the creepy drunk dude. Would calling the guy out on his creepiness have helped? Probably. But that's not really the topic at hand and bringing it up is just a not-so-subtle way of derailing the conversation.
 
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oh
 
porkcchop said:
Oh man. When did the games industry get so filled with social justice assholes?

What Mattingly did was wrong, but the woman should have just told him to stop. Jaffe's twitter is getting spammed by people who think he is a disgusting pig for just trying bring up a point.
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Yeah social justice warriors are blowing blatant sexual harassment that is an epidemic in this industry way out of proportion on this one.
 
Harlequin said:
You had the opportunity to make an intelligent, meaningful contribution to this discussion and chose to instead make a joke post. Congrats to you, sir. I'm still going to reply to it, anyway (and yes, I'm going to use gross exaggerations to get my point across). At one point in history, society had evolved to a point were treating black people like cattle was considered perfectly fine. At one point in history, society had evolved to a point where just one accusation could get you burned for witchcraft. You see what I'm getting at?
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Actually, I don't. What exactly are you saying?
 
porkcchop said:
Oh man. When did the games industry get so filled with social justice assholes?

What Mattingly did was wrong, but the woman should have just told him to stop. Jaffe's twitter is getting spammed by people who think he is a disgusting pig for just trying bring up a point.
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Tell us more about how women should react when being sexually harassed
 
Silky said:
Isn't Jaffe just saying that there is/was a better way to get this out to people than blasting it on a public forum like Twitter? Like, the authorities? Wouldn't that be a better approach? Like it or not, sexual harassment is a criminal offense. That should've been the first step.

Either way dude's (the scumbag, not Jaffe. Jaffe's decent enough.) a scumbag but it's whatever I guess.
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Sexual harassment is, depending on the jurisdiction, usually a civil offense, not criminal.
 
This guy has less game than an indie mobile developer.

LMAO at his shitty attempt to get some ass. I bet that girl was laughing her ass off at his awkward, 8th grade attempt to put the moves on her.
 
porkcchop said:
Oh man. When did the games industry get so filled with social justice assholes?

What Mattingly did was wrong, but the woman should have just told him to stop. Jaffe's twitter is getting spammed by people who think he is a disgusting pig for just trying bring up a point.
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Yeah cause that's such an incredibly easy thing to do when you're trying to maintain a working professional relation, right? You sure showed those assholes!
 
I am mortified by my behavior as it was not only completely inappropriate, but it was fueled by alcohol and depression. My younger brother committed suicide last year and ever since then I haven’t been myself. A tragedy like that is something I hope no one has to endure. Even though I’m aware that alcoholism runs in my family, I have been using it to cope with the pain that I feel every day. It’s compounded my depression and clearly clouded my common sense and dignity.


Contrary to what I drunkenly typed,
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So much bullshit. Dude is just a straight POS. No excuse for what he said in a work related discussion.
 
Mulgrok said:
He is stating something reasonable... try to shut down unwanted advances instead of just letting the snowball roll into pile of overblown shit.
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Exactly. Everyone jumping on him are acting like victims never have control over the situation they are in. But when you point out ways to help (potential) victims...people see it only as defending the perpetrator. That's just ridiculous though.


TheBaronOfNA said:
"She didn't told me to stop!" "She was asking for it."
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Case in point.
 
Devolution said:
It's not crystal clear. There are people who will continue to project their inability to follow social cues as a failure on behalf of the other person.
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You ain't kidding. I don't know whether to mock or offer counselling.

Sleep. That's what I'll do. Sleep.

soultron said:
She's not responding to my numerous sexual advances = she's totes into it. Right?
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If she wasn't, she'd confront you and shut you down. Get yo' flirt on. Try comparing her clit to a punching bag, I've heard that goes down well, if you'll pardon the pun.
 
porkcchop said:
Oh man. When did the games industry get so filled with social justice assholes?

What Mattingly did was wrong, but the woman should have just told him to stop. Jaffe's twitter is getting spammed by people who think he is a disgusting pig for just trying bring up a point.
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If someone isn't responding AT ALL to all your forward ass advances, what does this mean?
 
APF said:
Right, it's all her fault. Standards for her, but none for what he actually did. But as you said, you'll eventually evolve away from your anachronistic attitude.


No, that's literally what Harlequin is arguing.
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You apparently missed the line where I specifically said it wasn't her fault (not sure if it's in the post you quoted or in another on in this thread). I also love how you continue to ignore what I actually say and keep insisting I'm not applying any standard to him or his behaviour.

Llyranor said:
Ok, let's look at the comments for what they are, then.

Are they sexual? Yuppers.

Are they unprovoked? Yup, came out of the blue from what was supposed to be a professional conversation.

Are they unreciprocated? Seems like she kept trying to get back to the topic at hand, yup.

Did he persist in escalating the comments despite the lack of reciprocation? Well, yes.

What would you consider it, then? Harmless flirting? Should she just 'deal with it'? 'It was just a joke'?
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I just don't think that the comments being sexual is a bad thing. I'm not that sensitive when it comes to sex. So yes, personally, I think they were rather harmless. However, if she did feel uncomfortable she should've been able to say so instead of feeling the need to be ambiguous about it. (And now please don't say she couldn't for career reasons because I've already adressed that and said that I find this kind of environment to be a huge problem in a previous post.) I'm not saying it's her fault. I'm saying it's a misunderstanding. Could the guy have been a little brighter and caught onto the fact that his advances were unwanted? Definitely. But she could've also been a little more firm and definite in her rejection.
 
porkcchop said:
Oh man. When did the games industry get so filled with social justice assholes?

What Mattingly did was wrong, but the woman should have just told him to stop. Jaffe's twitter is getting spammed by people who think he is a disgusting pig for just trying bring up a point.
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Social Justice Assholes for asking that men don't sexually harrass women during work or work related activities? Sure, buddy.
 
Valnen said:
Huh? There are a lot of people out there that are fine with such blunt advances.
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why do you keep saying this like it makes this situation any better
like do you say that for other things? if someone says they were assaulted do you say some people are okay with being hit?
 
Let's ask the legendary designer of "Blood Cars Will Fuck You Up" and "Bald Fuckpriest Gores Your Friends" what he thinks about this case of online harassment.
 
Yuck, just yuck all around.

If anything, the fallout from this and allowing other journalists to raise awareness to the fucked up abuse they face slowly is unwinding.

Mattie Brice + Leigh Alexander's tweets are the most insightful commentary on all this shit.

And his apology? That's awful- suicide has probably affected a lot of us differently, but it doesn't allow you to carry yourself like that; no matter what you're going through.
 
Orayn said:
And it's best not to assume approval when your advances are met with stony silence and asking if you're drunk.
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But it wasn't meant with silence, they were still having a conversation. And "Are you tipsy? :P" isn't something to assume disapproval off either.
 
This thread if anything has truly opened my eyes. Why anyone would put forth any argument in defense of this guy is truly baffling.
 
Bpatrol said:
why do you keep saying this like it makes this situation any better
like do you say that for other things? if someone says they were assaulted do you say some people are okay with being hit?
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some people like kinky bdsm play. no reason why I should try to flog a chick at the office, she might be into it after all.
 
SmokyDave said:
The utter lack of reciprocation was her 'shutting them down'. Is that really not crystal clear?
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No its really not. "You just should have known" is better in theory than in practice. If she wanted to be crystal clear she could tell him to fuck off. Or stop the conversation entirely right there.

Engaging and joking, especially in a text conversation isn't a shutdown.

That doesn't excuse his behavior one bit, nor does it in any way meant she was asking for it, but when somebody is confronted with a problem that they have control over they should exert some control over it. Fuck being passive, over text of all things. Thats all. Its a simple point that becomes a huge deal when people presume the worst.
 
Harlequin said:
I guess I'm just not as sensitive when it comes to sex or sexually explicit texts as a lot of other people here seem to be. But then I've been to my fair share of gay dating sites where most guys greet each other with a photo of their genitals so that might have something to do with it :p. I just don't think such a comment is a big deal, not even between two people with a strictly professional relationship. A little weird and awkward? Sure. But not as dramatic as most people here seem to find it. That's just me, though. Now with him continuously sending her messages, even hours later...that's something I had not realised when I had written that post and I definitely find that problematic.

And no, I would most certainly not say that to a female coworker, mostly because the mere thought of having sex with a woman is off-putting to me. Would I say that kinda thing to a guy I don't know outside of a professional relationship? I don't think so. But would I be offended or feel harrassed if someone said it to me just once or twice? Nah, probably not.
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Atleast that's a dating site. Atleast there's the basic understanding of "I am here looking to meet someone, whether to broaden my social circle, to find a relationship, or for a purely sexual encounter." And even in that setting, there are people who will react to a photo of someone's genitals with just complete aversion. This is Facebook.

Yes, there are some people that are certainly more "sexually open" and that's great. But plenty of people don't want to be spoken to like this, or have sexual advances made on them from people they have barely any personal connection to whatsoever. Pretty sure that's the very definition of sexual harassment.
 
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