In celebration of this edition of the thread reaching #10,000 post I decided to treat myself to lunch today on my day off from work. Being that I'm pretty comfortable breaking down lobsters (I usually have to cook off and break down at least 5 a week) I've decided to show you guys how its done for those who are scared of cooking a lobster.
And what a better way to eat a lobster than prepared simply by steaming it and tossing it in an garlic thyme butter sauce over bread!
So lets start with a 2 lb lobster (preferably 1-1.5 lbs since 2lb and up tends to be older and the meat yield isn't much better anyway) unfortunately that was the smallest one they had.
So decided to steam my lobster (for 13-14 minutes on medium heat), I get my garnishes and rest of the prep done. I'll be toasting the bread in butter, tossing the lobster meat in celery brunoise and minced scallions (too lazy to buy chives). Also, you East-Coast GAFers don't give me shit for not having a top loaded bun, as if lobster wasn't expensive enough.
So once this bad boy... or more like girl is done lets break her down.
First thing to do is set up your cutting board and cover it with a washable towel because before you know it that towel will be soaked in lobster juice and you don't want that all over your clothes or kitchen. Break claws and knuckles away from the body by simply twisting them off with a towel to avoid getting poked (I used my bare hands because I don't give a fuck) and set aside.
Twist the tail off from the body and head and set aside. Rip off the little legs from the abdomen/head and set aside, don't you dare throw those away boy there's still some meat in that bone!
Now that you have the head and abdomen rip the guts out from the head and wash it out. Use those nimble little fingers of yours and get that meat out of the head, yes there is meat in there but you got to work for it, pick out as much as you can and put it into your mixing bowl for later. This is how much meat I got off my head, that's almost an entire bite and since lobster is expensive gotta get as many bites out of this as possible.
Now for the tail, sometimes you can just rip the shell off but some lobsters have tougher shells than others. You can cut the membrane underneath to get the meat out all in one piece but because I'm going to cut it into chunks anyway I'm going the easy way. Place your sharp knife down the middle and push down with both hands carefully, take your time as it took me a few tries before I got the hang of it. Once open you can clean out any shit in the tail or eat the roe/eggs since I had a female lobster.
I don't have a picture for the knuckles but they are easy, just break them into segments by using your chop to break them up at the joints and using a chopstick or the handle of a skinny spoon to push the meat out.
As for the claw it takes a bit of finesse, now while most of your would probably just use a shellfish cracker, I am required by work to get the most beautiful whole piece out as much as possible for presentation purpose. It's not always easy and even on my best days I can only achieve 9 out of 10 perfect claws but usually I'm more like 6-8 out of 10.
Don't use your good knife, I use my no brand nakiri/mini cleaver for this, even a strong blunt knife works. First remove the little pincer claw by twisting it off, try to be careful so you get the meat in there too but sometimes it just won't come out and its not worth it. Then you want to smack the underside of the claw between the spikes to get a tiny hole.
Turn the knife around and use the spine to crack the claw vertically. You want to give it a good smack but not so hard it will destroy the claw, like I said it takes a bit of finesse.
If done right it should end up like this and you should be able to break off the back end of the claw shell. The reason for making that first tiny crack on the underside of the claw is so when you smack the claw on the broad side the pressure will force a nice crack toward that tiny crack if that makes any sense.
Now pull the meat out or use chopstick to push it out from the pincer claw hole.
We aren't done yet, if you are lazy you can skip this step and just cut your claw in half but if you want to have a bit nice chunk here is what you need to do. Get some tweezers or a fish pin bone tweezer like I have and feel for something hard inside the claw.
Hold the meat somewhat firmly and pull with the tweezers and that cartilage will come out. It's a bitch and often it will destroy the entire claw when you try to take it out. Note that sometimes when you pull out the pincer claw it will pull out the cartilage with it so if you don't feel anything inside the claw then you got lucky.
Last thing, remember those tiny legs attached to the abdomen? Theres meat in that shell and all you need is a beer bottle/rolling pin. Sometimes its easier to do one leg at a time depending on how strong the shell is. Roll that meat out and you should get what looks like lobster spaghetti.
Now we are ready to assemble.
Now I took the steaming liquid of the lobster that was left in the steaming pan and reduced it, then mixed it with some butter, garlic, and thyme. Not too much on the herbs because we want the lobster flavor to be prominent. Once melted down and the garlic is soft toss it with the lobster chunks.
I decided to toast some sliced bread in butter too, yes I know its not top loaded so sue me.
Don't fuck with me, I'm eating.